Title: Dear Sam 8
Author: Istannor 
Series: TOS
Part: 1/1
Rating: PG 13
Codes: Lang.

Summary:  These are the letters of one Starship Captain, to
his big brother, George Samuel Kirk.  We are grateful to the
Estate of Ambassador Spock, for allowing us to view their
contents. This letter was written after the Enterprise
destroyed the Romulan Flagship.

Disclaimer: These are the characters of Paramount and
Viacom. They own them. I only check 'em out from the
library. I promise to bring 'em back. 

Dear Sam 8

Dear Sam, 

Meet me on Antares, okay? The tickets are on the way.
Spock and McCoy have lined up a shoreleave there. We
have a cabin on the beach and I can get two, one for you
guys! Don't ask why, but those two are conspiring against me
now. Isn't that wonderful? Damn, I'm looking forward to this. I
am going to find someone and get laid. It's been months and
I need a woman to touch me. I need this, badly.

I know you heard about the last engagement with the
Romulans at the neutral zone. I also know you have learned
not to believe anything you hear from the newsvids. I'll tell you
what I can of the specifics, when I see you.

The number of dead they reported is true. We lost 232 souls
on the outposts. I lost one crewmember. A boy who was
about to get married. His name was Lt. Tomlinson. The
wedding was interrupted to go to fight, so they didn't get one
day together as man and wife before he died. What can I say
to anybody to make them feel better about that type of loss?
She loved him, Sam, and now she has nothing. Her name is
Angela. I am trying my best to bring them all back, but they
still keep dying, no matter how hard I scramble. I won. I had
no choice but to fight, but I feel like it's my fault. I don't know
how to get past that. No matter what I do, it's never enough.
They gave me their sons and their daughters and I give them
back coffins, or worse, a letter. I need to see you, Sam,
please.

I also found out I have a racist on board. I'll transfer him off the
first chance I get if he doesn't shape his behind up. I won't
tolerate that type of stupid, backwards, ignorant, behavior on
board my ship. I had done everything I could think of to
encourage him to change, but then Spock saved his life, so
he has been acting better. If I'm not happy with his progress
he's out of here. I 'm asking McCoy to give him a psyche eval.
Racism is a mental disorder, so either he gets cured, or he's
unfit for duty. Our ancestors scream when I hear words like
his and feel hate like that. I'll be damned if I let that type of
attitude infect our crew. I will not allow anyone to question
Spock's honesty and loyalty to Starfleet, even if he drives me
up the damn wall.

Can you bring all three of the boys and Aurelan. I want to be
surrounded by my family. I need a pool of serenity and
acceptance for a few days. I want to throw a football, shoot
some hoops, swim,  and wrestle. I want to act silly and not be
concerned about what my crew thinks of me. It's time that
McCoy and Spock saw that part of me. They need to know
the real me, before they get sucked in by the façade.

I got your last two letters at the same time. I'm proud of your
oldest. I know he'll excel at the college at Aldeberan. How
about Samuel, is he going to go to Starfleet or art school? I
know Peter has a while left before he decides, but Mom
would like one of yours to come back to Earth and take over
the land. It's been obvious all my life, it wouldn't be me, and I
don't see you heading back now. Maybe one of yours will. If
not, we have enough cousins to last a lifetime, so one of them
is sure to want to assume the helm, especially since we all
reap the fruits of the soil. I understand that Uncle Chris'
horses are commanding top dollar on Seius 6, especially
now that he has them using minimal speech. I got the
accounts reckoning from the last investments we made. It is
embarrassing to make that much in one transaction. Make
sure those guys are following our guidelines for ecologically
sound development. If not, I'll pull all of the credits out, without
a days notice, and leave them high and dry.

Yes, every last thing I wrote was exactly what Spock said. It
was even funnier in person. I have never had anyone tell me
they weren't going to have indiscriminate sex with women
with me, or drink himself into oblivion, etc. He is very special,
Sam. I want it to be right between us. I care about him. He is
so vulnerable, brilliant, and lost. He calls to a side of me I
forgot I had, the side that can reach out and accept true
friendship. I'll see you on Antares.

Love,

Jim