Title: Seconds
Author: Istannor
Series: TOS
Part: 1/1
Rating: [PG13]
Codes:
Summary: This is in response to my own challenge. The boys
are not lovers, no wives, no children. They live lonely
lives.

Disclaimer: These are the characters of Paramount and
Viacom, they own them, I only check 'em out from the
library. I promise to bring 'em back.

Feedback to Istannor@Aol.com




Seconds


He woke up and realized immediately that someone was in the
bed with him.  It took him a few seconds to remember who it
was.  A friend, a colleague from Starfleet, her name was Dr.
Caron Jass. She had come by his apartment to check up on him
and stayed for the night.  Kirk sighed.  He set up and
watched her sleep.

His thoughts seemed all jumbled up in his head. It had been
that way for some time.  She was so relaxed, with a slight
smile as she dreamed.  She had good hands, strong, soft.  He
had tried very hard to make sure she enjoyed herself during
the evening.  He was hard put to remember the last time he
had enjoyed himself.

Sounds.  The ticking of the antique clock from his living
room, the soft beeping of his computer from the desk, and
there, that was the coffee starting in the kitchen.  He knew
all the sounds in his apartment, the same way he had known
all the sounds on the Enterprise.  He knew Starfleet had
sent Caron to check on him.  He even knew why they had done
it. She hadn't planned to sleep with him, but it had always
been building up to this point between them. It had never
been the right time before. Now, his loneliness had overcome
her reticence. He had needed it, the warmth, the holding,
the friendship expressed.

He and Spock had been heavily involved in the first phase of
the negotiations with the Klingons.  Counselor Gorkon's
daughter had demanded that James T. Kirk be in attendance.
It had been... fun.

That was over now.  Spock was the new Federation Ambassador
at large and James T. Kirk was retired.  At first, he had
rushed for every new experience he could possibly find while
on Earth.  Mountain climbing, white water rafting, para-
sailing, cave diving, high altitude jumps, anything and
everything.  There was nothing he had found that replaced
the heady rush he always got when he walked onto the bridge
of the Enterprise.  There was no one he had found to replace
the sense of belonging he always felt with his crew,
especially Spock and McCoy.

He took a deep breath and slowly blew it out between his
lips.  Caron was older than the first time he had met her,
as was he. Still, she was beautiful in her own special way.
She had something to do, a job, a purpose, even if her
current purpose was making sure that he was all right.  It
wouldn't do for Starfleet's shining hero to crash and burn
in retirement.

He padded softly over to the computer and checked his
messages.  There were five from McCoy, two from Uhura, three
from Scotty, two from Chekov, and even one from Sulu.  He
ignored them and went into the kitchen for coffee.

He had burned too many bridges to become the head of
Starfleet Command.  Actually, that was something he had
never wanted to be anyway.  They had offered him a seat on
the Federation council, and he turned them down cold.

The big question sitting before him right now was what do
you do at age 60 when you never planned to live this long?
He chuckled to himself.  The only thing he had messed up at
was dying young.  What a morbid thought.  It was probably
true, though.  He had never planned his life past the
Enterprise.  He had never thought he would out live the
Enterprise.

He walked into the living room, sat and slowly sipped his
coffee while the sun rose in front of his window.

A fully dressed Caron came out and sat on the couch beside
him.  "I have to go.  I have a meeting today at Starfleet.
Are you going to be all right, Jim?"

He turned, smiled at her, and gave her a kiss on her
forehead.  "Thanks, Caron.  Thanks for caring."

"A lot of people care about you.  I'll be back to check up
on you tomorrow."

He nodded and turned back to look out of the window.  He
didn't see her sad smile, or witness her departure.

He must have fallen asleep, because he was surprised to hear
a voice from in front of him.

"How long have you been on the couch, Jim?"

He opened his eyes.  "Spock?  What you doing here?  The
negotiations aren't over."

The Vulcan reached over and picked up the coffee cup from
where it had fallen on the couch.  "We took a recess.  I
found that I had something more important to do here."

Kirk stretched and got up slowly.  "Are you hungry?"

"Not yet; I ate on the transport.  Anyway, I have already
checked your food stores, and there is very little food in
the apartment."

"Oh."  Kirk looked and saw the single bag at the doorway.
"Let me get your bag and I'll put it in your room.  How long
are you planning to stay planetside?"

Spock sat in his favorite chair and watched.  "I do not
anticipate requiring a great deal of time for what I must
do."

Kirk came back from Spock's room and sat across from his
friend.  Spock sat and quietly looked at his former captain.
"You have lost more weight.  You are not eating. You have
stopped going out of the apartment. You have stopped
visiting your nephews and their families. You refuse to
teach at the academy, and you have turned down every single
appointment you have been offered."

"It's hard to leave the apartment when everybody recognizes
you.  They all think I saved the Earth, twice.  I don't want
to teach. I don't want to serve on the Federation council,
and I am tired of extreme sports.  I like going around the
boys and their families, but I don't want to wear out my
welcome."

"Jim..."

"No, just stop."  He crossed over to the picture window and
leaned against it.  "You don't understand.  Bones doesn't
understand.  I have had a perfect life.  I've done
everything I was supposed to do, except maybe save David.
There's nothing else for me to do.  I've walked on alien
planets, and slept beside black seas.  I've climbed
mountains higher than anything on this world and seen things
that most people would deny were real.  Now, they want me to
sit and talk about grain embargoes and tourist trade through
the Orion nebulae.  I can't do it." He leaned his head
against the window and watched his breath mist against the
glass.  "I can't."

Spock crossed and stood beside him.  He stared out over the
San Francisco Bay.  "It is not often in one man's life, that
a second opportunity arises to remake himself.  Most men
would give up rather than try.  I suppose it is too great a
challenge.  It is unfair to ask it of you."

Kirk gave a strangled laugh.  "Damn, you have gotten really
good at manipulation in your old age.  It won't work this
time. You'd better go and finish whatever you came to Earth
to do."

Spock grabbed his shoulders, and turned him around.  "You
are why I am back on Earth."

"Come again."

"I find myself in need of an attaché.  I require someone to
command my transport and to assist me.  I need someone I can
trust absolutely.  Do you know anyone like that?"

Kirk pulled away and walked out of the room.  Spock turned
and stared at the view in silence.

"How big is the ship?"  Kirk held out a glass of juice to
him.

"It will have a crew of 40."

"How fast is she?"

"As fast as you and Scotty design her to be."

Kirk turned and stared out of the window.  "Let me get this
right.  After 27years of being your boss, you want me to be
your attaché, and suddenly you become the boss.  You want a
disgraced Admiral, a retired Captain, a horrible politician,
and a man who steals Starships, to be a diplomat with you.
Have I got that right?"

"Essentially."

"I see."  He turned and walked away to his bedroom.

After a while, Spock went into the kitchen to try to make a
lunch out of the few things he was able to find.  Long ago,
they had become roommates because neither of them was on
Earth long enough to require two separate apartments.  It
had suited both of their needs admirably. Jim had done much
of the furnishing, but many things in the apartment
reflected both of their tastes. It was a strange mix of
Spacefarer, Vulcan, and human, much like their lives.

When he had something ready to eat, he took it out and set
one plate in front of the fireplace, and began to eat his
own.  Kirk quietly came in and sat down. "Eat."  Spock
commanded.

Kirk took the plate and picked at the food sparingly.

"Why?" Kirk finally asked.

Spock turned and stared at his friend. "I prefer your
presence in my life. I assume it is the same for you. We are
family, as you have so often told me. We have no children,
no wives, no attachments, except for our former crewmembers
and ourselves. We understand each other with mere gestures.
We trust each other. It is illogical to renounce our
relationship because of a change in our relative job
descriptions."

"Suppose I am not able to take orders from you?"

"It will be a challenge." Spock admitted. "Perhaps you have
grown past the need for challenges."

Kirk stared at his hands in silence and then took a long
look around the place he had boarded himself up in for the
last month. "I will need to start working on the design of
the ship right away. Do you have any specific needs that you
absolutely want to be included?"

Spock raised the corner of his mouth. "I will leave that in
your able hands."

Kirk looked at the food and suddenly attacked the plate.
When he was finished he got up and took both of their plates
back to the kitchen.

The front door buzzer rang. Spock let the newcomer in.

"Did he say yes?" McCoy asked softly while he stood in the
doorway.

"I said yes, Bones." Kirk stood in the kitchen doorway and
smiled. "Are you coming along for the ride?"

Bones grinned like a Cheshire cat and rocked back and forth
on his toes. "Hell yeah. Wouldn't miss it for all the
credits in Spock's bank account. I can't think of any worse
punishment for him than having to be your boss."

Kirk smiled and walked back into the kitchen. He yelled back
out. "I'll bring you the usual, Bones. I'll have the ship
and crew ready in a month, but Scotty, Chekov, and I
promised to be at the launching of the Enterprise B. I have
to do that before we can leave."

Bones turned and gave the Vulcan a hug. Spock allowed it.
"You done good, you big elf. You're the only person who
could ever reach him. I think you really saved his bacon
this time."

"Perhaps, Doctor, but I did this as much for me, as for him.
I have found that I do not wish to be without his company. I
have even gotten use to your irritating lack of self-
discipline. There was no logic in our ending a rewarding
relationship, and I believe he can adapt to the changes, as
can I. You, however, are hopeless."

McCoy burst out laughing as Jim brought in another round of
drinks for them all. "What's so funny?"

"Life." McCoy answered. "Life is funny as hell." He held up
his glass. "Here's to the future, and three old bachelors
aging gracefully as we walk off into the sunset."

They drank and planned for the future.