Title: Spock's Logs 19
Author: Istannor
Series: TOS
Part: 1/1
Rating: [PG13]
Codes: 
Summary: We give our thanks to Ambassador Spock's estate for allowing us to view these records. It allows us an unusual insight into the process by which the most famous Command team in Starfleet history, became a team.

Disclaimer: These are the characters of Paramount and Viacom. They own them. I only check 'em out from the library. I promise to bring 'em back.
Spock's Logs 19


Stardate:




This has been a most enlightening experience for the crew of the Enterprise.  We have recently been threatened by a plan so insidious, that I estimate its chance of success was approximately 87.3%.  In fact, were it not for Captain Kirk's actions on the planet, we would be on our way at this moment to a colony world with an android in command of the ship. 

The android copy of my Captain was impeccable.  I could discern no physical flaws in its construction.  Its gait and its mannerisms were identical to James Kirk, the man.  It had one major flaw; it was programmed and therefore predictable.  James Kirk is unprogrammed and usually quite unpredictable. 

The android was unable to deviate from its programming.  Thus, where Jim had programmed it to say: "Spock, I'm tired of your half-breed interference. ", it was forced to follow the path through to the very end. 

Fascinating.  Having Captain Kirk's memories and engrams fully programmed into its memory banks, it could still not discern the lie from the reality.  It, I must call it an it, for it did not truly live. Despite its elegant sophistication, it still was a machine. 

It could not say to itself: this reaction is not true.  This response is not something I would do or say.  Doctor Roger Corby thought he had found the perfect vehicle for immortality.  He was painfully wrong and he died for his hubris.  He thought to make the machine into a human.  He could not see that his machine, even he himself, was a dead thing without the ability to change his program or recreate himself. 

I have had 47.23 hours to meditate on several key facts.  One: I was not aware of my Captain's captivity or distress.  Two: the admirable caution Captain Kirk showed in requiring extra security did not work.  We were somehow deficient in preparing our security team.  They went into a known and possibly hostile territory.  The unexpected was to be expected.  They both perished.  Captain Kirk and Giotto feel especially responsible for this outcome.  I do not know how to prepare a security team for combat against a silent android of overwhelming power.  However, between Lt. Giotto, Captain Kirk, and myself, we shall discover a method to do so. 

Three :I felt a difference, a lack of the low level hum I always sense when the Captain is near.  In fact, he had already passed me in the corridor when the distinctive pattern of Captain Kirk's footsteps alerted me to the android's presence.  I felt it, I noted it, I questioned it, but I would not have acted on it if the android had not verbally harangued me.  This last omission on my part is unacceptable.  I have decided that I must rectify this situation immediately.  If the presence of android had not been discovered, or Captain Kirk had not maneuvered Corby into destroying everyone, including himself, what would have been the outcome?  It would have been logical for Corby to have killed the Captain. Captain Kirk was much too dangerous to his plans to allow him to live. 

The outcome was far too close to being disastrous.  I cannot countenance been ignorant of my captain's distress in the future.  I cannot accept my not knowing when he requires my assistance.  If I open my shields more I will be able to sense him far better than I do presently.  In this way, I will be better able to anticipate his requirements.  It is logical for me to do this. 

I have often openly expressed a preference for machines over humans.  I usually did so to annoy Dr. McCoy.  Now, having been embroiled in a situation that almost became the reality, I realize how foolish a desire that was to voice.  No matter if it was solely for Dr. McCoy's benefit, it was fallacious. 

There is no android who can replace James T. Kirk.  Corby was blinded by his own programming.  He did not question the fact that the ability to make a Starfleet Captain betray his ship and his crew was the defacto evidence of his failure to transfer the true essence of a human being into a machine mind.  Jim would never betray this ship, or Starfleet, at least not intentionally. In the stillness of the night, I recognize that one of his schemes or maneuvers might backfire one day, with unforeseen consequences. The betrayal would be situational and he would fight or die to rectify it, but he would not betray this crew and ship.  He might destroy us intentionally, but that is a different matter. 

I spoke with Jim last night about how it felt to have his engrams duplicated.  He shrugged and said it gave him a headache.  Then he said the worst part was convincing himself he hated me.  He said that hurt more, because he knew what he was going to have the android say would cause me distress.  He apologized for it and I assured him I had not been discomfited. 

I have vowed to be completely honest in this log. Only through the pursuit of  truth, is there growth. I dissembled when I told him I was not discomfited. I was immediately damaged by that statement.  Those words coming out of his mouth, made my blood burn. I fought the anger and subdued the beast. I was Vulcan.  I used all that I knew to not respond from my anger and my pain at his betrayal. Not him, anyone but him could say those words, but not him. I actually had a flashback to the taunting childish voices of my youth on Vulcan.  I felt my stomach tighten and a wave of sadness, anger, and disappointment rolled up through me and crashed against ... a beach head of certainty.  I breathed deeply and the air was fresh and clean once again. All my pain vanished. Jim would never feel this way about me.  This, therefore, was not Jim.  I cannot describe the peace that descended through me.  It was like the warmth of Eridani.  This type of certainty is beneficial. 

I have talked over long in this entry.  It is often startling to me how I have gone from reluctance to comfort with the use of this log to work through so many issues.  I admit it: Dr. McCoy is not without worth.  This was a wise suggestion on his part. 

We have been able to download much vital information from Dr. Corby's records.  My department is having difficulty accessing all of the computer files.  This technology will hopefully never be used for the purposes Corby had planned, but we have thought of a wonderful use.  We think we can use these tools to make computerized engrams of people to store for use by future researchers. 

Scotty says that as holographic technology gets more sophisticated, we might be able to project fully realized holographic historical figures, who would interact with their environment.  Just think, years from now, a Starship Captain may ask him/or herself, what would James Kirk do in this situation? They would be able to call up his hologram and ask him.  McCoy hated the idea of being stored and says he will not ever allow it for himself.  Jim remained strangely mute on the subject.  I'm not quite sure why I pursued an opinion from him, but he gave me a look I still am unable to interpret. 

Jim said he doubted Starfleet would ever want another Captain to act like he does.  He thinks Starfleet would put his engrams in deep storage and throw away the key.  I asked him why. 

This is what he said. "Pioneers are often strange, sometimes cold, and of necessity, deadly when the situation calls for it.  They go out and risk everything to explore and tame the frontier.  Settlers come next, farmers, tradesmen, politicians, and bankers.  It's always the same, Spock.  When civilization comes, they have a short memory.  Everyone who went before them was a savage.  I'll be reviled as a savage, without discipline and with no regard for authority.  They'll conveniently forget that it was people like me who made it possible for people like them to exist.  He shrugged. "I don't think the future will look back on me with favor.  Fortunately, I am a conceited bastard, and I don't give a damn.  I just think about Thimistecles. "

He left and McCoy, Scotty, and I sat in silence. 

McCoy blurted out, "Who the hell is Thimistecles?"

I told him who he was.  I told him that he was one of the last and most brilliant generals in Athens.  He conceived of a way for the Greek city state to defeat an armada which threatened to destroy them.  His plan was brilliant, his execution was flawless. He pushed through the concept against the fears and insecurities of the Athenian government.  He won and was summarily banished from Athens afterwards for the crime of overreaching his authority.  He died in exile. 

"He is not a conceited bastard." Scotty whispered.  "He's a good man, forced to do harsh things for harsh times. "

McCoy continued the thought. "When is self-confidence and a belief in one's goals, not conceit to the ignorant, or the envious, Scotty? What ever we think of him, he's right.  They'll say he's a womanizing, egotistical, alpha male, gun happy, bastard.  They'll be wrong, but history is full of lies. "

I felt obligated to respond to that statement. "I will endeavor to correct any who make an attempt to malign him. " 

"You can't be everywhere, Spock.  Anyway, nobody will believe you because they'll say you were blinded by his bull shit," McCoy snorted. "Ditto for me and Scotty."

I have been thinking about this for some time. The numerical duration is not vital to this entry. I do not wish the future to ever see my Captain as a savage. He is brilliant, insightful, considerate, an excellent tactician, and an extraordinary leader.  He should be remembered for that.  Hopefully, I will be able to influence the future's vision of him.  The probability that I will outlive him is high, since my natural life span is 100 standard years longer than his and he is inordinately disdainful of his own safety. 

After he dies, I will make sure to correct any misrepresentations put forth about him in the media. After he dies. . .

I do not wish to dwell on this subject . I must go. 

End Log