Title: Shoreweave
Author: Istannor 
Series : TOS
Part: 1/1
Rating:[PG13]
Code: 
Synopsis: McCoy and Spock meet Sam Kirk on Shoreleave and
secrets are revealed.

These are the characters of paramount and viacom, they own
them I only check 'em out from the library. I promise to
bring 'em back.



                        Shore Weave




CHAPTER 1



"Sam, wake up."

"Huh, let me sleep, Aurie."

"Sam," she whispered more emphatically. "Wake up."

George Samuel Kirk sat up and looked at his wife sleepily.
"What, Aurelan?"

"I should have gone with you. I'm a goof. Now, I'm going to
miss you."

"I'll be back in 10 days, Aurelan." His voice softened and
he gave her 
gentle smile. "I'm going to miss you, too. Why don't you
give me something to remember you by?"

Aurelan smiled. "What did you have in mind, Big Boy?"

"Come here, Girlie, and I'll show you." She chuckled as she
allowed herself to be folded up into his arms.

"Do you remember the first time we went to the beach
together?" She whispered into his ear.

"Hell, yes. I loved it. I had sand up my butt for weeks."
Sam chuckled. "I was so hot for you and you kept teasing
me."

"It served you right." She snuggled closer. "You remember
what we did behind the sand dunes?" Her voice got huskier.
Sam's eyes widened and his breath quickened. He could only
nod. "Sam," she said sweetly, "if you do what we did behind
the sand dunes, with anyone on Antares, you'll be one head
short." She grabbed that particular head for emphasis.

"Ouch, Aurelan," Sam laughed and hollered at the same time.
Aurelan let go. "Baby, I am your personal boy toy. Besides,
I'm too old to do what we did with anyone else." She
wrestled him onto his back, finally stopping him with her
kisses.



CHAPTER 2



<"Love, you're better off without it and I'm better off
without mine.  This vessel, I give, she takes.  She won't
permit me my life, I've got to live hers."

"Jim."

"I have a beautiful Yeoman.  Have you noticed her, Mister
Spock?  You're allowed to notice her.  Captain's not
permitted..."

"Jim."

"Now I know why it's called she.  A flesh woman, to touch,
to hold, a beach to walk on, a few days, no braid on my
shoulder.">

 
The words echoed in Spock's mind like a personal mantra, a
key to understanding his Captain. Kirk had needs, just like
all humans; he was only better at sublimating them, at
diverting attention from his own desires and making others
voice theirs. The Captain acted as if he was a fortress, yet
he was no happier with isolation than Spock was. They both
were liars, with a dead heat on whose lie was more
insidious.

Spock sat in the command chair as the Enterprise slid
smoothly into Antares orbit. One-third of the crew was
scheduled for shoreleave and 22 crewmen needed groundside
medical evaluation or treatment.  Captain Kirk was in his
cabin completing the last of the torrent of reports he'd
filed since the Enterprise left the neutral zone. They had
not found any survivors from the four destroyed observation
posts, so the Enterprise's reports would be the only sop to
Starfleet's hunger for information about the Romulans.
Starfleet Command was also angry with Kirk for allowing the
Romulan Commander to destroy his ship and take his knowledge
into the afterlife. The Admirals felt Kirk should have
summarily transported the Romulan survivors off their ship
instead of having a conversation with her commander.

The crew of the Enterprise quickly settled back into its
normal routine.  Kirk let 2 days go by after the encounter
with the Romulans and then he re-started normal drills and
procedures for the Enterprise crew. The crew's best
emotional release would come from hard work. He didn't allow
them to dwell on the loss of Tomlinson. He did not give them
long to digest the fear that came with the Federation's
first encounter with Romulans in 62 years. The face of the
unknown had to become routine to them, or they wouldn't
survive.  The memorial service for Lieutenant Tomlinson had
been brief and touching.  His fiancée, Specialist Angela
Martine, spoke her poignant words with tears silently
streaming down her face. Then each member of the crew who
had known and been touched by him came forward to speak of
his life and his joy.  

Spock had participated in human memorial services before,
but this was the first time he started to imagine what it
might be to lose someone. He had never cherished anyone
other than his parents. He was not sure he cherished anyone
now, but he knew he avidly desired the continued existence
of his Captain.  Thinking what it might be like if Kirk
died, he began to understand the humans' feelings of grief
and loss. His chest contracted as the picture of his
blood-soaked unconscious Captain lying on top of
Kleinschmidt roared up from his memory. Vulcan memory was
exact and did not dull with time. Memories of ending his
shift, eating alone, and returning to his quarters for
meditation, contrasted with the present. In the present, he
shared all of his meals with his Captain. Many evenings they
played Chess, or spent hours in discussion. They worked out
together. Spock realized he had become accustomed to having
company. Kirk's absence would cause a void in his life. It
was a void he no longer desired. He wondered if this
constituted an emotional attachment. He felt a momentary
twinge of discomfort, quickly suppressed.

The hiss of the lift door brought Spock back to the present.
Without turning, he knew it was Kirk; Spock could sense his
persona like a furnace in a cool room.  He got up without
looking, just in time for Kirk to assume the seat smoothly.  

"Anything new?" Kirk asked.

"Antares sends us greeting.  We are to assume a standard
orbit and await further instructions prior to beam-down."
Spock moved towards the Science station.

"Uhura, open a channel for us, please."  Kirk's fingers
thrummed on the surface of his chair.   He tapped one heel
against the other leg where he had crossed them.

An unbelievable number of events had taken place over the
last few weeks aboard the Enterprise. Kirk felt the tension
well up within him, threatening to spill over and leave him
in puddles across the bridge. He still heard echoes of the
final explosion of the Romulan flagship, and of her
Commander's last words: "We are much alike, you and I. In
another place, in another reality, I could have called you
friend." The statement's truth shook Kirk to the core, as he
felt the loss of an honorable man in a dishonorable role.
One day, Starfleet would probably demand the same role of
him.

The shock of the encounter with the Romulans had come too
close on the heels of his and Spock's loss of emotional
control at PSI 2000.  When he looked back over the last few
weeks, the only thing Kirk felt good taking home, besides
their pure survival, was that Spock was finally attempting
to be his friend, despite some embarrassment, or even shame.
It would have to suffice. 

"Captain, Antares Central is answering our hail," Uhura said
just before a young Antaran in Starfleet uniform appeared on
the viewscreen.

"Captain Kirk, we welcome you to Antares.  Reporters are
waiting here in swarms to get a piece of you. Everybody
wants to know about the Romulans.  If I were you, I would
beam straight down to Starfleet reception; Commodore Mendez
is expecting you. Also, there's some big guy asking for you,
making a stink about how late you are.  He says you know
him."

"What's his name?"  Kirk jumped forward in his seat..

"He wouldn't give his name.  Watch out for him when you get
down to the surface, though.  He sounds like a loony to me." 

Spock watched as the tension flowed out of his Captain.
Obviously this unnamed "loony" was someone Kirk knew very
well and looked forward to seeing.  Curious. Perhaps the
Captain would invite this person to join them at the seaside
cabin. Spock considered the prospect and decided it would be
acceptable. He would no longer be in the uncomfortable and
unfamiliar position of entertainer for his human Captain,
with all the uncertainties that would entail.  Friendship
was more difficult than even he had anticipated. 

CHAPTER 3

<"Spock," Sarek called.  He went to stand respectfully at
his father's side.  "Your mother and I will be engaged at
the conference all day.  The hotel has entertainment
facilities, computers, and a library for your use.  I will
expect you back at our quarters at 2000 hours."

"Yes, sir."  The youth watched his parents move gracefully
across the reception area towards the meeting halls on the
adjoining floor.  He turned and slowly scanned the lobby.
Families of humans with their children rushed to and fro
across the open space.  Laughter and open emotions assailed
his senses.  He decided to take a walk on the hotel grounds,
which the orientation vid described as pleasant and
extensive.

The grounds were indeed lush, unlike Vulcan in every
respect.  Spock walked along the planted trail, entranced by
the abundance of living things: growing, blooming, flying,
or scuttering away from his feet..  All of it was
fascinating to the ten-year old.  He heard the sound of
children's voices shouting and laughing, and moved towards
it.  He left the gardens and followed the sound, taking a
wooden walkway between the sand dunes and down to the white
sand beach of St. John, and the ocean .  

Children were laughing and screaming in the surf, frolicking
like sea otters. Spock sat and watched, mesmerized.
Finally, one nutbrown boy noted his presence and ran over to
where he sat.

"Hello. Who are you?"  The boy asked.

"I am Spock.  My parents are here for a conference at the
hotel."

The boy smiled and sat down next to him, bubbling over with
excitement. "I'm Imaje; I'm nine years old. My parents are
here for the same conference.  We're from Dulcius 2.
They're diplomats.  How old are you?"

"10.4 Earth standard years."

"You're a Vulcan.  I've met Vulcans before.  Come on and
play.  The water is great. You can swim can't you?" The
boy's questions tumbled out without a breath between them.

"Of course.  But Vulcans do not engage in play."

Imaje looked thoughtfully at Spock. "Do Vulcans do
research?"

Spock's eyebrows rose. "Yes."

"Come watch closer, then. You can research us." Imaje's grin
was enormous.

"Very well."  Spock could not help being drawn by the open
smile of the very human child, a smile of unforced welcome
unlike his usual social fare.  He walked down towards the
water to watch the activities more closely.  Somehow, he was
drawn into demonstrating the most ergonomic method of diving
into the waves.  The joyous laughter of Imaje and the three
other children was so novel it silenced his innate time
sense, and 20:00 passed unnoticed.  Sarek and Amanda found
him through the parental bond.

Amanda saw him first.  At the exact moment  she came out
between the dunes, Spock was tossing Imaje into an
approaching wave. Imaje's scream of delight made a smile
cross Spock's face -- only for a second, but long enough.
The sight of her son smiling and tossing a laughing human
child into the air made Amanda gasp in delight, and her eyes
met Spock's in a moment of shared joy. She was unable to
hide her enchantment before Sarek appeared behind her and
saw them both. Spock was not allowed on the beach again for
the duration of their stay.> 



CHAPTER 4



The giant Starship eased into orbit, carefully avoiding
smaller ships of commerce and pleasure that circled the
planet below. Kirk and Spock were expected at the Antares
Starfleet Base for debriefing by the station chief and by
Commodore Mendez, who had come all the way to Antares for a
firsthand account of their engagement with the Romulans.  

Kirk, reports and Padd in hand, met Spock in the transporter
room, ready to beam down. The Captain had an obvious gleam
of anticipation about him and rocked impatiently back and
forth on his toes. He was trying to stay in place, but
seemed unable to resist the temptation to move.  Spock had
never seen this particular Kirk before, bursting with an
adolescent energy.  He observed it with interest; determined
to understand such a change in the man he anticipated
serving under for the next four years.  

McCoy rushed in just before they received the signal to
transport.  "Wait a minute guys, I'm going with you.  I have
to make sure the medical facilities are in order.  They want
me to beam my injured down to the base, and I'll be damned
if I do that unless they have more than I have onboard ship.
So, move over, I'm coming too."  

McCoy turned to Scotty at the transporter controls. "Make
sure you get it right, too. I don't want to land on Antares
as a bunch of little pieces.  I don't know why I let myself
get into this.  Man is not meant to be transported around
from place to place in a beam of light." Spock and the
others chose to ignore McCoy's rantings and ravings as they
all beamed out.

The doctor rushed off as soon as they materialized, vowing
to meet them at the beach. Security was waiting and escorted
them directly to the offices of the Base Commander, where
they found Mendez sitting at attention when they walked in.
He began barking out questions before they had a chance to
sit, and it was another four hours before either Spock or
Kirk was allowed to leave.  Spock suspected that towards the
end Kirk was ready to bite the Commodore.  Commodore Mendez'
questions were repetitive and lacked insight about their
"heat of battle" decisions. Kirk showed admirable restraint,
however, and gave his answers calmly until the Commodore
signaled his satisfaction with their performance.  

They were walking down the hall in tandem when a voice
shouted at them from behind. Spock turned quickly at the
sound of running feet, prepared to meet any threat, though
he saw that Kirk already had the largest grin he ever
recalled seeing.  Coming down the hall towards them was a
man howling at the top of his voice: "Jimmy, you turkey,
you're late."  

It was instantly apparent to Spock that this man was Kirk's
relative.  He was taller by 10 centimeters, older, heavier
by 10 kilos, darker hair and skin, but there was no
mistaking the resemblance.  There also was no mistaking the
obvious affection the two men held for each other as his
Captain ran to meet the strange man and grabbed him in a hug
that risked asphyxiation. Apparently there was no cause for
concern, as Kirk's relative laughed uproariously, pounded
the smaller man on his back and hugged him in return.  

Spock felt a twinge of discomfort; he suspected the men's
open show of affection was the cause of his unease.  When
the unseemly display of rowdy behavior ceased, Kirk grabbed
the stranger by his arm to pull him towards Spock.  Before
Kirk could say a word, the stranger lifted his hand in the
Vulcan salute.  "Live long and prosper, Mr. Spock.  My name
is George Samuel Kirk.  I have heard many things about you.
I derive satisfaction in finally having an opportunity to
meet you. I am this runt's brother."

"Live longer and prosper, George Samuel Kirk. Your presence
enriches our experience."  Spock was forced to admit to
momentary surprise at the recently disruptive human's
respectful greeting.  The difference in behavior was
incongruous, but perhaps it was a familial trait.  

The human continued.  "I'll be joining you both at the
beach, if you have no objections." Spock answered in the
negative.  "I've rented the adjoining cabin.  It seems my
little brother hasn't been getting his butt beaten enough at
chess by you, so I have been called in to humble him."  A
grin, reminiscent of one of his brother's, appeared on
George Samuel Kirk's face.  Spock felt momentarily confused
at seeing the grin he had so long associated with his
Captain on the face of another, bigger, older man.  He stood
awkwardly, unsure of what to say next.  "Call me Sam, Spock,
everybody does.  You guys finish on the ship, and I'll meet
you at the cabins."  Sam turned and hugged Kirk tightly and
ruffled his hair.  "See you later, little brother."  Without
another word, he walked away.  

Kirk turned back towards Spock, his smile was so large it
looked painful to the Vulcan.  "Come on, Spock.  Let's get
everything ready on the ship, so we can go to the beach."
With that, the Captain walked briskly towards the
transporter room: his visible energy level had risen by at
least a factor of 10.  Spock trailed behind him
thoughtfully.

They took a skimmer from the base out to the cabins. Kirk
jumped out before the skimmer had fully settled to the
ground. He ran towards the beach, shedding an article of
clothing every few steps, until utterly naked he ran into
the surf and dove into a wave. 

Spock followed slowly, carrying both their bags, then stood
and watched his Captain play in the waves. A gentle breeze
tugged at his cloak and the sound of the surf filled his
ears. He experienced a sense of satisfaction at his decision
to push for this leave: obviously, his Captain was already
enjoying it. He watched for a while longer and then carried
the bags into the cabin. It was large, with three bedrooms,
three bathrooms, an entertainment center, a food replicator,
a Computer, and a great room with a fireplace, quite
satisfactory.

Spock had built a fire and was making tea when he heard the
patio door open and wet feet walk across the floor. "There
is a towel on the couch." He looked up from his labors to
see his naked Captain cross over to the couch and wrap
himself in the towel. 

"That was fantastic." Kirk wiped off his dripping hair with
a second towel and stretched out. "The water is perfect."

"It is the time of year when they have the warmest tides.
The average temperature variation can be as much as five
degrees." Spock picked up the second cup of tea and crossed
over to the couch to hand it to his Captain. "Cha, with
honey."

"Ah, this is good." Kirk sipped slowly and let the steam
play at his nostrils. "It smells good, too." He looked at
Spock and smiled slightly. "This was an excellent idea,
Science Officer. I'm grateful you got a sudden urge to go to
the beach, and invited me along." 

"Indeed. Vulcans have a known fondness for oases. We
reverence abundant water."

"And my brother is a girl. I'm glad you and McCoy decided to
work together, even if it was to scheme on getting me to
take leave."

"He is a most difficult and emotional individual. Do you
think medical intervention would aid him?"

"Surgery might, but only if you sewed his mouth shut." 

Spock's own mouth quirked. "I will go put my things away and
get ready for our meal. We are to have a catered affair this
evening. Tomorrow, the rest of the bridge team will join us
for, I believe McCoy termed it, a beach party."

"All sounds good to me. I'll be here when you get back."
When Spock returned 7.5 minutes later, his Captain was
asleep on the couch, oblivious to the world. Spock covered
him with a blanket and went to read out on the beach.
 

CHAPTER 5



Sam walked out of his cabin. He had just finished speaking
with Aurelan and already he missed her. He saw Spock lying
on the beach, but Jimmy was nowhere in sight. He needed to
check on his little brother, soon. Jimmy had a few telltale
signs of his "withdraw to the cave" disease, but not as much
as he expected. Spock heard him approach and sat up.

"Samuel."

"Spock." Sam sat down beside him, stretched out in the warm
sand, and let the reddish glow of Antares beat warmly down
on his face. It felt wonderful. "Where's Jimmy?"

"He is inside, asleep on the couch."

"He must be exhausted if he wasn't able to wait up for me.
I'll let him sleep."

"He expected you." It was a statement, not a question.

"He sent me the ticket. He wanted me to bring the whole
family, but Aurelan wouldn't take the kids out of school, so
he just has me."

"I see." Spock felt a quickly suppressed, deniable twinge of
jealousy. It was obvious Kirk had not felt that his and
McCoy's company would be sufficient, so he had made
alternative plans.

"I doubt it." He chuckled at Spock's raised eyebrow. "Damn,
you do that, just like he said."

"Do what?"

"Raise your left eyebrow, to connote irritation." Sam
chuckled. "I said I doubt it, Spock, because I think you
might be deducing that Jimmy brought me here because he
didn't want to be alone with you and McCoy. Actually, I'm
here to meet you, and make him do right. He knows he needs a
kick in the ass every once in a while. If he doesn't get it,
he becomes insufferable. I haven't seen him since he took
Command of the ship, so -- he's due for his ass kicking."

Spock forced his rigid body to relax. So far, every member
of the Kirk family had the ability to read his non-existent
emotions. It was most disconcerting. They both also had a
tendency to ignore regular social decorum if it suited them.
"Vulcans do not experience irritation." Sam chuckled but
refused to comment. "I have not noted that he has been
insufferable," Spock stated.

"Yeah, right. You haven't seen any moodiness, any days he
never gets beyond monosyllables, no retreats into the gym to
work out alone at midnight, no walking the ship at 0200 to
put the baby down? Sure you haven't," the senior Kirk said
affably.

"What is the point you are attempting to elucidate?" Spock
inquired, not wanting to discuss these behaviors, nor to
admit that his Vulcan ears had heard Kirk scream in terror
and cry out names, gripped by nightmares that often plagued
his Captain in the depth of the ship's night.

"Jimmy has a big problem admitting he's mortal and has
normal human needs. He wants to be the perfect Starship
Captain, without flaw or weakness. Perfection is an
impossible goal, Mr. Spock. Perhaps you've already
discovered that in your travels." 

Sam turned and watched him with a knowing eye. "I'm here to
hug him, throw him into the water, make him play, and yank
his chain. He wants me here to spend time with you and
McCoy. It's his way of getting his favorite people together.
He likes to surround himself with safe people, people he can
trust; then he lets his guard down a little, and he relaxes.
You, I and McCoy, are going to get him to completely relax,
and you're going to see someone you've never seen before."

"Why are you helping in this endeavor?  Why is his behavior
as a Starfleet Captain your concern? He is an adult and the
master of his own actions."

"He's my brother and I love him. Over the years, I've
learned that no man is an island, Spock. Our Father was
wrong and I don't want my brother making the same mistakes.
He shines when he has people who care around him, and he
dies a slow death when he's alone. I have no desire to
attend his funeral any earlier than I have to."

Spock stared in silence at George Samuel Kirk, then leaned
back onto his towel. "It seems we have agreed on a mutual
goal." They sat in silence, basking in the rays of the muted
sunlight, until they heard McCoy's skimmer arrive 2 hours
later.



CHAPTER 6



Uhura and Sulu strolled down the wide esplanade of Antares
Central city. They had tickets for a concert later that day
and were using their free time to shop before the show.
Uhura stopped to look in the window of a music store and to
bathe in the Jazz wafting out of hidden speakers. Sulu found
himself bouncing in time to the music as he watched Uhura
listen with her knowledgeable musician's ear. His eyes
wandered over her neck where it was bent, brown and warm, to
look at the instruments and memorabilia in the window. She
swayed gently,  beautiful, and alluring in a way that robbed
him of breath. He waited for her to speak, wanting nothing
more than to hear her musical voice. 

"Hikaru. Where are you, Baby?" Her voice enticed him and
made him smile before he could answer her. "You seem far
away."

He smiled again and shifted uncomfortably under her gaze.
"Do you see something that you like?" he asked shyly.

"Lots, but nothing I want to use up my weight limit for. How
about you?"

"I see everything I like," he answered, and then turned away
shyly. "I'm sorry, Penda. You are just so beautiful. I
couldn't help myself."

"You're going to make me blush." She came forward and
touched him gently on his cheek. "We have a wonderful
friendship, Hikaru; I'd hate to mess it up. I don't want a
long-term relationship right now -- it's just not in the
cards."

"No strings, I promise. You lead; I follow. If you don't
want to try, I'll understand and I'll leave you alone, but I
really like you Penda, a lot. I've never been this
comfortable with anyone before." He moved closer to her and
molded his body along her front, as he took her face into
his hands. "Where's your spirit of adventure? I promise, I
don't bite."

Nyota laughed, "Oh, I hope that's not true, D'Artagnan. I
love men that bite. Where would you like to go?"

"I know a wonderful restaurant on the other side of the
square that has the best fish in the galaxy. It also has a
wine menu to die for. I would love," Sulu moved close to
Nyota and rubbed one hand down her bare arm slowly and
lightly, " to take you there for dinner with the quartet
playing in the background. Then, I want to talk. After we
talk, I want to do . . . whatever you want." 

Uhura rubbed her left index finger over the angle of his jaw
and along the top of his open shirt. "Hikaru, don't start
something you won't be able to deal with in the end." She
warned. "No regrets."

"No regrets, Penda. I'll take whatever you're willing to
give." He leaned forward, kissed her lush lips lightly, and
pulled back to watch her face. 

"Since we are going to be close friends, you need a new
name. Can I call you Rue?"

"Please." 

They had a wonderful dinner and decided to take a stroll on
the beach. It was not long before they sat in the sand to
watch the sunset and talk.

"Do you remember your first trip to the beach, Penda?"

"Dear me, yes. How could I forget it? My parents took us to
the seaside in Ghana. How about you?"

"There was a beautiful rose-colored beach on a planet my
parents were working on. It was called Lehman. I remember
being fascinated by the sand. I played in it for hours until
they dragged me away. I still like to play in the sand."

"I wish my first trip had been fun." She looked out
wistfully over the night ocean.

"What happened?" Sulu asked.

"Nothing happened. It was what I went to see." She moved her
hand slowly in the sand making little piles both with sand
and rivers of water flowing around them from where the waves
lapped at their feet. Sulu waited patiently. He wanted to
hear any music she made with her lips. The moonlight played
over her features, and made her rich brown skin glow softly.

"There's an island off the coast of Ghana  that  has a
fortress built in the 1500's by the Europeans. The fortress
is named Cape Coast Castle and the nearest town has been
named Remember. Do you know the history of slavery on Earth,
Rue?"

"I read about it, but so much was lost during the Eugenics
wars, and then what was retained wasn't always taught on the
colony worlds. You know I wasn't raised on Earth, so my
knowledge of Earth history has giant gaps in it."

"Almost every ancient culture on Earth practiced slavery at
one time or another, but Earth decided  to never to forget
what atrocities humans are capable of.  Auschwitz, Soweto,
Wounded Knee, Delhi, East Anglia, the Trail of Tears, all
are remembered. That is why Remember was built, so no one
who saw it could ever forget its truths. At the age when a
child will understand, all children in my village go to
Ghana. "

"Ghana's beaches are often foggy. The old tales say the
Europeans came out of the mist like ghosts and haunted them
for  centuries."

"The Ghanaians lived in the interior, where it was warmer
and lush, and only came to the shore to wash their
livestock, fish and play. One day they came and found the
Europeans, sick and dying of scurvy, malnutrition,
dehydration, and disease. They took pity on the ones they
named unclean and sent their healers with food and water.
They let the strangers stay on the beach and helped them
build shelters. The Ghanaians gave them their backyard,
thinking it worth little. The Europeans got a sea shore and
thought they were being treated like kings." Sulu was
mesmerized by  the impact of her tale, and the music of her
voice.

"There was tribe in Ghana, known for the kindness and beauty
of its women. They had a saying, "as graceful and kind as a
Fanti woman ". The Fanti women took pity on the Europeans,
nursed them, and fed them, because it was their way. The
other tribes wanted the heathens gone from their lands, but
they bowed to the grace of the Fanti and went deeper into
the interior. As is the way with men and women, after time,
some of the Fanti women slept with European men and gave
birth to half-Fanti children. It was never the Ghanaian way
to deny their children, so these innocents were welcomed.
Through their children and their women, the Europeans began
to learn the language and with their language they asked
their secrets. Where," they asked, " are your villages?
Where do you hide your gold and your precious jewels?"

"The other tribes, fearful that the Europeans would learn
their heart's truths, the locations of their villages, and
their rituals, changed their language and moved even deeper
into the interior. Where once there was one dialect for all
of Ghana, by the end of 50 years, there were 20, all created
to keep secret the rituals and power of the Ghanaians. The
other tribes disagreed with the Fanti, but such was grace
and kindness of the Fanti, that none would act against them.
The others fled the coast, and left behind their washroom
for the Europeans."

"The day came when the Europeans were well again. They
approached the people and requested help to build a
fortress. They said they needed somewhere to stay. The
people told them they would help them if they stayed on the
shore and away from the interior, where their real wealth
lay, or so they believed. The day after the fortress was
finished the Europeans attacked the closest village. It has
been recreated and still preserved there under a dome. They
torched the homes and grabbed any children they could find.
When the adults ran screaming from their burning homes, and
after their children, those that were not killed out right,
were beaten and dragged away into slavery."

"We do not know how many were sent from there into slavery
or to die during the Diaspora. But," a tear inched down her
face, ignored, "when you go to the fortress, the iron chains
and manacles are still there. You can feel the despair, the
fear, and the pain wailing through the air. I have never
seen anyone go there and not be affected. So many had to be
carried from there, prostrate with the grief the walls
remember." 

"The day I left that place, I decided the key was
communication. Had the Ghanaians understood what the
strangers intended to do at first, what would they have done
differently? Would they have killed them, convinced the
Europeans of the worthiness of the Ghanaian soul, or let
them perish of disease and hunger to save their children and
their lives? They had no opportunity to choose because they
fled the knowledge and the Europeans never sought it, other
than to use it to kidnap and plunder. The Ghanaians and the
Europeans were working from entirely different cultural
norms and expectations. No-one took the time to
communicate."

"It is funny when you think about it now, with the space of
centuries behind you. The Ghanaians considered the Europeans
to be heathens and did not understand until later, that the
strangers never meant to leave. The Europeans felt they had
"discovered" Ghana and could claim a sovereign land that was
inhabited with a culture that had existed for hundreds of
years. The Europeans considered the non-Christian Ghanaians
to be without souls, or rights, and therefore the perfect
fodder for slavery." She turned and leaned her face into the
night breeze; the wind carried her tears away.  She
whispered, "None of them had a chance to do the right thing,
because none of them knew enough to make the right choices."

"That's horrible, Nyota." Sulu murmured softly and shook his
head in sorrow. A gentle breeze whipped at his hair and
brought the echoes of the cries of murdered children. For
just a second, he could feel the shackles on his ankles and
the hopelessness in his heart.

She turned in the night and gave him a half smile.
"Actually, Rue, it's good. I joined Starfleet so I could
help make sure that would never happen again to anyone. I
was right; communication is the key. " She shook herself.
"Enough of that. Take me somewhere fun."

He reached over and touched her face lightly. "Where ever
you want to go, is where we'll go."

They didn't make it to the concert.



CHAPTER 7


McCoy walked into the cabin and saw Kirk asleep on the
couch, motionless. He resisted an urge to wake him up: that
Kirk could snooze despite the racket McCoy had made coming
in meant the man was exhausted yet relaxed. He never got
that way without medication on the ship. 

On the beach Spock was watching the waves, sitting next to a
stranger. McCoy plopped down. "Hello, Spock. Who do we have
here?"

The man turned towards McCoy and the family resemblance
leaped out.. "George Samuel Kirk, but call me Sam. I'm Jim's
older brother. You have to be Leonard H. McCoy, also known
as Bones."

"Guilty as charged."  They shook hands. "I didn't know you
were going to join us, or I would've made sure to rent a
four bedroom cottage." 

"It wasn't decided until the last minute. Jimmy asked me to
come, but I had a conference I was suppose to head.
Fortunately, I was able to call in a few favors, and my wife
told me it was okay to go play without her, as long as it
was with Jimmy. She knows he'll tell on me if I do anything
I'm not suppose to do, the little ratfink," he grinned.
"I've heard a lot about you, Doctor McCoy. I'm glad to get a
chance to meet you."

"Well, I wish that Jim had been as forthcoming about you. I
knew he had a brother, but he doesn't talk about himself
that much. He sure didn't tell us that his big brother was
his bigger brother. I mean, you guys look almost like
identical twins, except for the difference in size. It's
uncanny. How much older are you?"
	
"Six years, six months and 14 days, to be exact." Sam
responded. " I got the size... and the brains." He laughed
at his own humor and McCoy found himself immediately warming
to the man.

"In fact, I have read one of your papers in PFAS-B." Spock
interjected.

"Which one?"

"It was with Kahlid and Ben-Adam, on interbreeding with
native flora. I found it soundly argued and provocative."

"I am honored. Plant propagation is not really what you call
as exciting as Starship duty, but it has its rewards. I love
the fact that some of my hybrids are feeding worlds." He
smiled in satisfaction. "Jimmy saves them and I feed 'em.
Not bad for two cornfed Iowa mutts."

"Are you going to be here all week?" McCoy asked. If so, Jim
was probably not going to want to go club hopping to pick up
women and he would have to find other company. Spock was
definitely out of the running to chase women with anybody.

"Yes. I'm at my Brother's disposal for a full week. Which is
a pretty scary thing, since I know him." Sam got up, shook
his legs out, and turned towards the house with a glint of
mischief written on his face. "He's slept long enough. It's
time for the boy to wake up; ignore the screaming. A man's
got to do what a man's got to do." 

Spock looked at McCoy for enlightenment, but he shrugged his
shoulders, baffled.  The next thing they heard was a loud
yell followed by a whooping sound, then unmistakable
laughing and cursing. Sam ran out of the cottage with a
naked James Kirk slung over his shoulder, heading or the
surf at full speed. Jim hollered brotherly threats, but was
inexorably carried to the water and tossed in head-first. He
came up sputtering, grabbed his brother, and pulled him down
into the water beside him.

"Dr. McCoy, there were several martial arts maneuvers the
Captain could have made to free himself from his brother
rather than be thrown into the water. Why did he permit such
an indignity?"

"It is not considered an indignity for your brother to dunk
you. It's a ritual to show affection. Anyway, he knew his
brother was not going to hurt him and if he had used any of
those martial arts things, he would've physically hurt his
brother, not to mention hurting his brother's feelings."

Spock looked out over the sand at the laughing and playing
Kirks in the water. "I see. That was unusually enlightening,
especially considering the source." McCoy snorted; Spock
ignored it.


They wrestled in the water until both of them were panting
hard. It felt good, Jim thought. His brother's presence
always had this affect on him. He felt safe when Sam was
around. It made him relax, and seemed to let him float for
awhile. Everything would be fine if Sam was around. Sam had
always protected and defended him. Sam was the one place in
the Universe that no pain ever came from. Kirk flopped back
on the sand in total exhaustion; his brother was huffing and
puffing beside him. He probably had swallowed a gallon of
ocean water during their wrestling and drowning match. The
world was wonderful. Life was grand.

"Thanks, Big Brother, " Kirk whispered.

"It's what a family is for, Jimmy. If we aren't there for
each other, then we aren't there at all. You'd do the same
for me, I know." 

Kirk gave a half smile. "Yeah, as if you ever needed it. You
aren't nuts like me."

Sam sat up and stared at his brother. At almost 33 years
old, his little brother looked like he was 43. He was
thinner than normal, drawn, and had dark smudges under his
eyes. What Starfleet and his heritage demanded was probably
too much to ask of him, but there was no choosing fate.
Jimmy had been trained and destined to serve; he had no
choice. 

"Come here, idiot." Kirk sat up , smiled, and scooted next
to his brother. Sam wrapped one long arm around his
shoulder. "You're getting on my last damn nerve with this
stuff about being nuts. You are not nuts. You are perhaps
too sane for your own good. You need to stop living a life
of denial."

Kirk snorted in amusement. "Denial, haven't you read the
press releases? I'm screwing every woman in the Federation.
I never say no. Didn't you see the article in the
Intergalactic Inquirer about "I was Capt. James T. Kirk's
Non-Human Sex-slave"?"

Sam laughed and hugged his brother tightly. "Hell yeah, me
and Aurelan read it in bed together one night. Aurelan wants
to know if you can really do that with your tongue. If so,
she says show me how." His brother hit him on his head.
"Ouch, " Sam pulled back and rubbed his forehead. "I forget
you have muscles now, as little as they are." He laughed
when he was smacked again, "I've missed being smacked up
side my head. No one does it for me on Deneva."

"Maybe I'll designate someone to do that for you. It would
be my pleasure."

"Don't try to change the subject, Jimmy. You know that's not
what I'm talking about. Getting your rocks off with a woman
you pick up in a bar doesn't count. I'm talking about
allowing someone in, or having a meaningful relationship.
You haven't even told Spock or McCoy anything about me, or
our family. Damn, Jimmy, you didn't even tell them I was
coming. What type of communication is that between you and
the two people you want to be your closest friends? Let go.
You don't have to control every last thing in creation. You
have to share too, you know, even if it starts with just
saying: Is it okay that I invited my brother to the beach
with us?" He watched his younger brother hang his head.
Jimmy listened to him, and Sam had always been grateful for
that.

"I screwed up; I'll do better, Sam. I'm so use to using and
positioning people like players on a chessboard, that I
forget to back off and stop the game. I just wanted all of
you around for this shoreleave. This time, I didn't want to
just go somewhere and screw some woman I didn't know, " he
licked his lips, " at least I didn't only want to go screw
one someone I don't know. I'll make it two or three women I
don't know."

"You ass. You're just bragging because you know I can't do
anything but drink, swim, play games with you, and watch you
hunt for "wild" game."

"You're damned right. If you even feel up another woman,
I'll tape it and send it home to your wife. You know you
never even think about screwing around on Aurelan, anyway.
I'm the only dog in the family."

"You're not a dog, Jimmy. You just haven't gotten any of the
ones you've asked to marry you to say yes. Maybe you ought
to ask different types of women from now on. You need to
look at folks that are a little more desperate."

Kirk grimaced, "Kiss my ass, Sam."

"Nope, but you'll find someone else to do it for you before
the end of the week, I bet." 

Kirk jumped up beat his chest and yelled like a character
out of an old book. The noise made Spock  rush out of the
cottage to see  a naked Kirk beating his chest and yelling
into the wind, while his brother rolled on the ground in
laughter. "I'm going to screw until my dick falls off. Watch
out ladies, Kirk is on the prowl," Kirk yelled at the top of
his voice, and the wind carried his pledge away.

"Good thing you brought your own physician." Sam wheezed
out.  Kirk sat and settled back against Sam. 

"I miss this."

"I know, Little Brother."


Spock watched Sam hug his Captain and wondered why Kirk
allowed the familiarity. It was definitely not something a
Vulcan would allow and he silently hoped Kirk would not
require a similar act from him. It was unseemly. Spock stood
a while longer and watched with a look one could have
described as wistful, on a human. He eventually turned, made
his way back into the cottage, away from the surf and tide.

They talked awhile about Aurelan, Sam's kids, and the
cousins. Kirk got an update on the farms and Sam's latest
research while they watched the sunset together. Finally,
Spock called them to let them know the food had arrived. 

They entered the house to the  smell of garlic, onions and
something neither of them could identify.  Kirk showered and
dressed. When he came out, Sam was already at the table. He
saw Spock had set the table for four, and lifted the covers
off the food containers to take deep whiffs. "This smells
great. Let me go check in with the ship and I'll be ready to
eat."

"I have already taken the liberty of calling in for you,
Captain. There is nothing new to report. The minor repairs
we still required after the last engagement are proceeding
without problem under Mr. Scott's watchful eye. He reported
that they should all be through by tomorrow evening. In
fact, he guarantees it, as he wishes to be present for the
festivities." 

Kirk opened his mouth to protest Spock usurping his role and
caught the glare from his brother. He stood and shifted
awkwardly on his feet for a second. "Thank-you for your
assistance, Mr. Spock. That is precisely what I wanted to
know." He couldn't hide his smile as he noted Sam's nod of
approval. "Then let's eat. Where's Bones?"

"Here," McCoy walked out of his room with a bottle of half
empty Bourbon in his hands. "I got started without you. I
want some food. I hate getting drunk on an empty stomach.
It's not healthy; I'm a doctor; I should know." 

Kirk and Sam laughed as they all sat. Sam turned out to be
an entertaining dinner guest and kept McCoy and Kirk in
stitches. Even Spock was seen to lift both eyebrows
occasionally. 

When dinner was over, they retired to the fireplace and
McCoy poured Jim and Sam each a giant glass of brandy. "This
is one night I refuse to drink alone. You two are going to
get drunk with me. Spock, I know there's no hope for you, so
you're off the hook." He turned to Kirk and pointed at the
glass. "Drink up, Jimboy. Time's a wasting. " 

Kirk took a long look at the drink and sighed, "I don't know
if I can get drunk, Bones. Even though this seems like
enough to drown a horse in."

"Huh? What do you mean?" McCoy sat up in confusion. Sam
stopped to watch his brother; Spock turned his full
attention on his Captain.

Kirk looked down at the drink and then up at his friends,
with a humorless half-smile. "Command training makes it very
difficult to drink to drunkenness. All Starship Captains are
trained to reorient themselves continuously, drunk, under
the influence of drugs, or in pain. You wouldn't want an out
of control captain in command of a ship that can destroy
worlds, now would you? We're taught to never drop our guard,
period." 

"Shit, haven't you ever been drunk or gotten high on
something? " McCoy asked.

"Sure, I've been drunk enough to pass out, but not since
command school. As for the other things folks can pick up,
you know as well as I do that I can lose my commission for
using any drugs except the approved mood elevators, or mild
non-addictive hallucinogens; I hate that stuff. It makes me
paranoid. I could probably drink you under the table any
day; sorry, Bones." Kirk shrugged apologetically.

"Shit," McCoy said again to no one in particular. No one had
ever told him that little fact. He wondered immediately what
else he didn't know about the ultra exclusive command
school, especially the Captain's track, where Kirk had been
assigned at age 26. "What happens if you want to get drunk?" 

Kirk shrugged. "I don't know. I've never wanted to get drunk
since then."  He sounded like it was a personal failing. 

McCoy shook his head in disbelief. They had left the man
precious little room to let his hair down, except screwing,
and he wouldn't even do that unless it was off the ship. "Do
you feel like there is any threat here?"  McCoy persisted.
Kirk shook his head side to side. "Do you feel like you can
trust us?" Kirk nodded his head. "Do you feel the ship is
safe?" Kirk nodded. "Then dammit, you are going to get drunk
tonight, or my name isn't Leonard Horatio McCoy!"

Spock interjected. "What purpose will his intoxication
serve, Doctor? I do not see any usefulness to willful
inebriation."

"You wouldn't," McCoy snorted. "In vino, veritas." He
intoned solemnly. "It's a rite of passage, Spock. Friends
get drunk together."

"I see." Spock nodded slowly in a way that made it obvious
he didn't. "I have not heard that quote before. What happens
if one of the friends can not or does not drink?"

"Don't be obtuse. You make sure none of us passes out in the
fireplace." McCoy pronounced.

Sam laughed and tipped his drink. "In vino, veritas." He
downed a giant gulp and looked up with a smile of
satisfaction. "Earth, France, Loire Valley, 2214."

McCoy grunted,  "Your whole damn family is full of
surprises. Stop showing off and down the hatch."

Two hours later, McCoy was passed out on the couch and
Spock, Sam and Kirk were chatting about principles of crop
rotation on Deneva versus Vulcan. When they had finished,
Sam and Spock left to their respective beds. Kirk damped the
fire, turned out the light, covered his CMO with a blanket,
and went to bed.
 


CHAPTER 8



The next morning was spent lazing around and sunning. Kirk
took long walks on the beach, first with Sam, then with
Spock, then again alone. They played Chess. First Kirk
trounced Sam, then Spock. Then Spock beat Sam. Next Sam
played Spock to a draw.  Finally, Sam beat Kirk. They
finished the evening with books and sleeping. McCoy slept in
and woke up with a hangover. He self-medicated and sat on
the beach nursing a drink, an unread book, and memories. 

<"Daddy, Daddy, the sand is too hot. Carry me." Little
Joanne put her arms up, waiting for her father to pick her
up. She smiled her most special smile; the one she knew
always melted his resistance.

"Come here, baby." Leonard McCoy reached down and picked up
his only, beautiful special four-year-old. He lifted her up
and carried her across the hot sand of the Mississippi Gulf.
He put her down at the edge of the surf and watched as she
played with the waves. He turned briefly to search the
horizon for his wife. She was supposed to meet them, but she
was late. In fact, she was often late, or missing. Leonard
allowed his thoughts to approach his fears, but he skittered
away from facing them. He watched his daughter play and
frolic in innocent abandon. Finally, he got up and ran
towards his daughter, lifted her to his shoulders, and ran
out into the surf to play with his child, and tried to
forget his fears of betrayal.>

At sundown, Scotty beamed down from the ship. The repairs
were done, and he came in looking for a drink. A little
later, Uhura and Sulu showed up together, a fact which made
Kirk's eyes widen a little. He vigorously fought down his
jealousy. It was not his place, he kept telling himself. She
looked so beautiful in the evening light. The memory of the
feel of her skin in his hands made his palms sweat. He
jumped up and started getting the barbecue pit together and
laying out the food. The last thing he needed to do was
fixate on Nyota today. 
	
They barbecued steak, corn, Antaran potatoes, which were
sweet and crispy, marinated vegetables for Spock, salad,
fresh bread, Sweet fruit, and fresh fish. It was rinsed down
with guava juice and liquor of every type desired. Stiles
showed up at the last minute before dinner started. He had
come a long way from his insensitive remarks on the ship,
and Kirk made him welcome. When everyone had finished
stuffing their faces, Sulu started calling for a game of Tag
flag-ball. Somehow, the teams got divided so that Kirk and
Sam were on one team, and everybody else was on the other. 

Sam shouted, "This game is rigged." 

Kirk looked over at Sulu, Stiles, Uhura, Rand, and McCoy on
one team, and then looked at his solitary teammate, his
brother.  Scotty had decided to only play with his bottle of
Scotch. "Sam," he stated to the crowd, "they are trying to
whup us, bad. What do the Kirk men do when threatened?" Kirk
yelled.

Sam jumped up and started beating his bare chest. "They kick
asssss!" He screamed and ran to his position. Spock took a
seat to watch his first ever game of Tag Flag-ball. He had
refused to participate when Jim asked him, but only because
he feared the use of his Vulcan strength in any human only
contest. Kirk had accepted the refusal with an easy smile of
acceptance. Someone yelled and the ball was thrown into the
air. A nonsensical game of chase and avoidance began with
intermittent tackling, tagging, and laughter. A sudden rush
of memory hit Spock and he got up and left, unable to sit
and watch the contest a moment longer.

Kirk ran, dived to intercept the throw, missed and landed
face flat on the sand. Uhura caught it in mid step and ran
towards Sulu who shouted at her to throw it. Sam, headed
straight for Sulu, who, realizing the peril he was in, threw
a missile at McCoy who caught it and raced away with the
now, upright Kirk in hot pursuit. He was quickly losing
ground against the younger and faster man, when he saw
Stiles out of the side of his eye. He leaped and threw at
the same instant that Kirk tagged him, safely ridding
himself of the ball first. It didn't save him from the sand
bath that followed as he and Kirk hit the beach surface
together and came up spitting sand, and laughing. "Damn,
Bones, I had you." Kirk jumped up and ran in hot pursuit of
Stiles. 

Scotty rolled on the side of the beach. He only stopped
laughing long enough to take another pull from the container
of scotch he had in his hand, and to yell encouragement,
first to one side, then to the other. 

Stiles passed off quickly to Rand, who handled it like a hot
potato and threw it at Uhura. Uhura took off and Kirk ran
after her with an open look of glee on his face. She knew
instantly she was going to be tackled whether she had the
ball or not, so she tossed it away to Sulu and waited for
the inevitable. Kirk took her down in a heap and rolled them
both in the sand until they were coated from head to foot.
Then he jumped up, grinned at her lasciviously while she
giggled, kissed her on her cheek, and ran after Sulu. 

Sam had Sulu cornered and screaming for help. Sulu tried to
pass over him and failed. Sam batted the ball into the
outstretched hands of Kirk, who ran the final few feet,
unmolested to the flag. Sam ran to stand beside him and they
both stood with their feet on the ball and beat their chests
in unison, before they dropped to the ground in exhaustion
and laughter. 

Kirk was not sure what caused him to notice it, but he
suddenly looked over to where Spock had been sitting and
reading. No Spock. Kirk scanned the beach until he saw the
retreating back of the Vulcan in the distance. He jumped up
and jogged to join him. Sam watched his brother thoughtfully
and went to start another tackle tag flag-ball game. 

Spock was sitting quietly on jagged rocks that erupted from
the sand and jutted out towards the warm waves. He stared
pointedly ahead as Kirk came and sat beside him in silence,
watching the waves as they sursurrated gently in front of
them. It pulled them in and out with a hypnotic quality.
Kirk felt his body moving almost imperceptibly in time to
the surf, as he waited for the Vulcan to speak. "You
succeeded?" Spock finally broke the spell.

"Yep. You are looking at the king of tag flag -ball." He
kept his voice low. He did not wish to break the spell of
the waves, or the gentle breeze against their faces. "I wish
you had played. We would've had them eating out of our hands
in minutes."

"The game is illogical. It only serves to frustrate or
humiliate the chil... player who is unable to get the ball."

Kirk allowed the slip to pass. "A team approach lessens the
frustration. The game isn't designed to humiliate anyone.
It's supposed to be fun for everyone. If it isn't, then
there is no point in the game. I don't play to humiliate,
only for fun. When I'm not playing, I fight to win; people
die. The distinction between work and play is vital for me."

They sat and a small crustacean-like creature made its way
slowly up the side of the rock that they sat on. Its
gray-green shell reflected the faintly reddish sunlight of
Antares and twelve long spindly legs rose regally, one after
another, to inch its way towards the rocky crown. 

"Have you never participated in a sporting event where the
others sought to humiliate you?" Spock spoke to the wind and
the surf.

"A few times. I packed up my traveling bag and went to play
with someone else. I won't ever willingly participate in my
own humiliation, or any process which is demeaning. If I do,
then I'm as guilty as they are." 

"What do you do when there is no other game?"

"Wait. There is always another game." 

They sat in a long and mournful silence. Kirk could feel the
pain radiating from his First Officer. Kirk thought the
Vulcan had to be broadcasting. He knew he was not the
functioning telepath anymore. A voice pitched for his ears
alone wafted over the wind swept rocks. "The children of
Vulcan play a game known as le'matya in the sand circle. The
literal translation of the particular variant of the game I
was forced to participate in would be half-breed in the
hole." 

"They would take an object of mine and throw it over my head
and around me until I would fall down on the ground in
exhaustion. All the while they would call me names and
recite my inadequacies. I stopped attempting to retrieve any
lost articles by the age of seven, and they went on to other
venues of entertainment. It would not have been seemly to
indulge in such behavior at that age, so they ceased talking
to me at all. I retain a reluctance to engage in any
activity approximating that experience." 

Spock turned to Kirk and watched him with a guarded
expression. "I wished you to know why I could not watch you
participate in those activities. It is my understanding that
friends share these types of confidences." The wind whipped
the hair around his face, a ghostly image of the face of the
child who had been in the hole so many years before
flickered briefly and then disappeared.

Kirk found himself reaching out to touch the Vulcan's arm.
Spock jerked back as soon as he felt the light weight of the
cool human hand. "Forgive me, I did not mean to offend you."
Kirk turned away in embarrassment. He knew better, he
thought, why did he keep doing such stupid things?

"Your touch does not offend me; I withdrew because I am
unaccustomed to anyone touching me. I meant no insult."

"None taken. I don't always like unsolicited touches
either."

"I would have believed the opposite to be true. You seem to
have enjoyed embracing your brother during this vacation."

"I find it soothing to be touched by people who care for me,
Spock. My brother loves me, and it seems I can feel it
through his touch. I don't get that anywhere else. No-one
wants to be the one to touch the Captain. You're a touch
telepath, don't you find a friendly touch soothing?"

"Quite the opposite actually. The disorganized thoughts and
uncontrolled emotions transmitted, tend to be distressing to
me. I must barrier myself against others whenever I touch
them." Spock turned to watch the grains of sand slide one by
one down the side of the hill where they sat. 

"Is my touch uncomfortable for you, also?"

"Actually, you have a remarkably ordered mind, for a human,
but your emotions are quite intense; you can be rather
loud."

"Teach me how to not be so loud, Spock."

"What purpose would that serve, Captain? You are not a
telepath."

"But you are, and I don't want to have my feelings screaming
at you so loudly that you avoid my touch. By the way, we're
on leave; it's Jim." He  turned back to the horizon that
stretched out across the aqua expanse of water. 

"Why do you do this, Jim?"

"Spock, does everything have to have a why?" The Vulcan sat
silently and refused the switch. Kirk sighed and looked down
at his feet digging into the warm sand. He wiggled his toes
slowly, as if seeing them for the first time. "I don't want
my touch to cause you discomfort; it's not so hard to
understand."

''We are not required to touch to perform our duty. There is
no need for you to plan for such an eventuality." 

Kirk turned and blew out a small whiff of air . "You're
right, there's no need. I'm sorry for asking." He began to
stand, but Spock reached out and held his arm gently.

"Perhaps there are needs other than duty that should be
addressed. I would like to teach you how to shield, so that
you will not be concerned about touching me. Yours is a
logical request."

Kirk grinned and sat back down. "What do I do?"

"Visualize a wall, as high and as thick as you can make it
in your mind. Wrap it around yourself, and then touch me."
Kirk closed his eyes tightly and after long minutes he
reached out blindly and laid his hand on Spock's arm.

"How is that?" 

"Hmm."

"That bad, huh?"

"You are very emotional." Suddenly, Spock's eyes widened in
surprise and a little gasp escaped him.
 
Kirk jerked back his hand. "What's wrong?  What did I do?"

"Nothing, it is not your fault. I was completely unshielded,
and when you felt a strong surge of amusement at my
statement, it overwhelmed me."

"Oops. Sorry about that, Spock. Looks like I need a lot of
practice."

"Indeed, however, I anticipate that it will be time well
spent." He turned to look at his Captain and suddenly the
years spread out before him like a pattern woven of the
water of earth and the sand of Vulcan. How fitting that it
should. Kirk smiled at him and returned to contemplate the
horizon.

Kirk took a deep inhalation, looked  at Spock and chose his
next words carefully. "Friends do share. May I share
something with you, Spock?" He waited for the Vulcan's
consent. "When I was 10 years old, a new child moved onto
the next farm. He had been sent to the country to live with
his grandparents, the Nolans. They had already raised five
children, but their youngest got hooked on dust, so they
brought his child out to live with them. His father's drug
dealer had beaten the mother to death. He couldn't read or
write at age ten, because his parents had been so busy doing
drugs that they never got around to sending the kid to
school. They made a ten year old clean the house for them,
cook and wash them up after their stupors." 

Kirk shifted around to look at Spock's eyes. He wanted to be
sure he was reading his friend correctly. This level of
honesty was so new to them both. "A few of the bigger kids
used to harass him unmercifully. I didn't say a thing. I
didn't do a thing. I consoled myself with the fact that I
never bothered him, but I never helped him either. I
certainly never tried to befriend him." 

"I was walking back from school one day, and I saw four kids
chasing him across a field. I knew they were going to beat
him up, but those kids were a lot bigger than I was, and I
was scared. I followed them anyway, until I got to where
they were. I hid in the cornstalks and watched them kick and
slap him until he was unconscious on the ground. Then they
stood over him laughing, and finally walked away to leave
him in that cornfield as if he didn't matter. They did that
to him because he had the bad luck to have had two drug
addicts for parents, a dead mother, and no schooling. I was
never more ashamed in my life."

"Why?" Spock sounded incredulous, for a Vulcan. "You did
nothing to harm him? You would never do anything like that
to someone."  

"I did nothing to help him. If you are not part of the
solution, you're part of the problem." Kirk sat silently.
Pictures of a bloody boy flashed across his eyes, filling
him with the shame he had felt at his own inaction, at his
own helplessness. 

"What did you do?" 

"I ran and got my Grandfather and he carried Jerry to our
farm. I told you that to let you know that kids do stupid
things, but hopefully we grow out of our cruel and stupid
phase."

Spock tilted his head and listened to an inner voice he
never before realized he had. "That is not the end of the
story; there is more. What did you do next?" 

Kirk ducked his head in embarrassment. "I think that should
be the end for now."

"No, you told me that friends share. What did you do next?"
Spock sat stiffly at his side.

Kirk sighed. "You're going to think I'm a savage." The
Vulcan did not relent. "Sam was sixteen and the biggest boy
I knew. I told him what happened and we waited for Jerry to
get better. As soon as he was, we started scheming. The kids
didn't get anything more than a slap on the hand for what
they did, and we didn't think that was enough, so we
arranged for them to get their just deserts. One night, I
convinced every one of them that Jody Jessup was going to go
to the barn with them. I told them I was her go-between. Do
you know what I'm talking about?"

"I surmise that you were intimating that the female would
perform sexual favors for them."

"Exactly, but I told them they had to come out butt naked
and meet her behind their houses at 0100, and each
succeeding person got a time fifteen minutes later. We ended
up with four, completely naked, bound and cold bullies in
the back of our pickup. 

"There is a phosphorescent yellow vegetable dye we used to
mark the livestock. Sam, Jerry, and I drove four glow- in-
the- dark yellow bullies into town and deposited them on the
steps of the courthouse, where they were given the locations
of an item of clothing for each of them. If they moved
quickly, we assured them that they could be dressed and back
in bed, by sunrise, There was only one problem, the pants
were the last item they would find. They ran down that road
like Olympic athletes. We sorta forgot to tell them one
thing. Their pants were at the exact location where all of
their parents caught the shuttle into the big city, a few
minutes before sunrise."

"Elegant." A smile played at the corner of Spock's face. "It
was justice of a sort. Did you have difficulty secondary to
taking those actions?"

"Who were they going to tell why they were out of their own
houses, naked, coated in glowing yellow dye, and somehow
ended up at a shuttle stop at sunrise?  My Grandfather and
Mom knew it was Sam and I.  Mom never said a thing. Granpa
told us he would have been more disappointed in us if we
hadn't done anything to the idiots. His comment was: "They
are what you get when you let first cousins marry." So it
was justice, at least it was in the eyes of two 10 year
olds, and one indulgent 16 year old."

"Where is Jerry now?"

Kirk laughed sarcastically. "He spent five years in the
Federal Penitentiary for involuntary manslaughter. He got
paroled, and then disappeared. I have no idea where he is
now. I can't say that all is well that ends well, yet."

"Indeed." Spock turned back to the waves. A lone skimmer
bird dipped into the water and came up with a long eel-like
creature grasped firmly in its jaws. One gulp was all it
took to swallow the creature before it circled off languidly
into the distance. "I estimate that you, I, and Sam, should
be able to win the next contest in the minimum of time
against all six of our opponents."

Kirk smiled and Spock blinked at the rush of warmth it
caused in him. "Piece of cake." Kirk got up and attempted to
wipe the fine sand from his body, until he finally gave up
in defeat. He held out his hand to Spock, who took it after
a moment's hesitation, and pulled himself quickly to his
feet. "Let's do it for the Gipper." 

"Who is the Gipper?" Spock inquired in confusion. Jim's
brother's name was Sam, not the Gipper.

"I have no frigging idea." They walked back to join the
party, which if anything, had gotten even louder and more
drunken.

The next game of tag-flag ball was brutally quick. 



CHAPTER 9


Very early the next morning, Sam and Kirk sat on the beach
as the first rays of sunlight inched over the horizon,
casting the entire air in an expectant reddish glow. The
gentle morning surf pounded on the gray sand beach. A few
large fishing birds wheeled and called mournfully in the
distance.  

"You have a great bunch of people on your crew," Sam finally
broke the silence.

"I know."

"Let them close, Jimmy. Let them in. They care about you, as
a person, not as a figurehead." Sam turned to look at his
brother intently. "Take your time with Spock. He's a geyser.
It will take him a while to get his head of steam up, but
once he does, he'll spout off and be a friend for life."

"What about McCoy?"

Sam chuckled. "He's already sold on you. He fusses too damn
much, and he's a pessimist from way back, but he's letting
go of all of his barriers to support you and try to give you
what he thinks you want. Shit, Jimmy, you know this. Why are
you asking me what you already know?"

Jimmy Kirk turned and gave his brother an enigmatic smile.
"Hearing the same thing from you gives me emotional
comfort." He grinned. " And it gives you a chance to counsel
your little brother. I wanted you to have at least one role
of importance, since otherwise you're a slug."  His brother
immediately slugged him and wrestled him to the sand, until
Kirk cried uncle. "You know it's not fair that you get to
use your height and your size, and I can't use my martial
arts," Kirk 's muffled voice complained from where his face
was pinned in a sand pile.

"Sure it's fair. I made the rules; I want to win, so it's
fair. If I let you fight your way, you'll kick my ass, and I
don't want that, now do I?" He slapped his brother against
his head, rolled off and turned his gaze to the horizon. "I
love you, Jimmy," he whispered.

"I know, Sam." They watched the sunrise in silence.

It was the next evening when McCoy finally stirred enough to
want to leave the beach. "Come on, Scotty, I need to find
some of the gentler sex to spend time with. I know this bar
in town, Club Surprise. It's supposed to be hot. They told
me it has some of the most gorgeous and available women on
Antares." McCoy started rubbing his palms rapidly.

"Leonard, you're truly a brilliant man, and I would never
deny ye the pleasure of me company for such a trip as you're
planning. Give me... five minutes and I'll be ready to go."

Five minutes later, the men were in the great room of the
cabin and ready to leave. "Where are you guys going?" Kirk
came in from the beach to get another pitcher of beer for he
and Sam, and some iced tea for Spock. 

"Into town," McCoy answered. "You guys can keep baking
yourself out there, I need some different type of heat."
McCoy grinned lasciviously.

Kirk chuckled. "You got your cock hops? If not, I always
have extra."

"Nope, don't need yours, locked and loaded. How about you,
Scotty."

"An engineer is always prepared," Scotty snorted.

"I thought that was Boyscouts," Kirk quipped. 

"Who do you think invented the Boyscouts? Come on Leonard,
we can't let the Lad hold up the show, it must go on." They
left out the front door to the sound of Kirk's laughter.
When they got into town, they found the club without any
difficulty. A line of skimmers was parked along the street
in front of the loud and garishly lit building. The sound of
loud music thrummed as they slid into the parking space.
They turned and looked at each other with open grins of
wolfish joy. "Let's hit it, Leonard, me lad."

They entered the dimly lit club to find that it was filled
to capacity with bouncing and gyrating bodies, all dancing
to a loud and insistent beat coming from speakers hung from
every nook and cranny in the club.  McCoy and Scotty
immediately made for the bar that dominated the left side of
the room,  and pushed and shoved their way to the front of
the bar to get the bartender's attention.  A live bartender
was a sure sign of a hot club. They turned around and
scanned the room to look for possible company.  McCoy hit
Scotty with his elbow, "Scotty, would you look at that.  Do
you see those two over there? Damn, they're what I want for
Christmas."

"Where, where," Scotty turned to look where McCoy was
pointing.  "Be still my heart," the engineer put a hand up
to his chest in mock pain.  "Come on, Leonard.  Let me show
you how a real man picks up women."  Scotty began to roll
across the floor like a Captain on a sailing vessel.  He
headed for the targeted goals, McCoy following eagerly
behind him. When they reached the two women, their breath
caught in their chests. They were even more beautiful up
close than from across the room.  McCoy's mouth began to
silently water in anticipation of the evening, while Scotty
began his spiel, "Good evening, ladies.  We're two lonely
officers who just beamed down from the Starship Enterprise.
We were wondering if you could tell us where the hot spots
are in Antares. We're looking for a fun evening, and we
couldn't think of anyone we would rather spend it with than
you two."

McCoy grimaced and decided that it was time for the expert
to jump in.  "Ladies, what my country bumpkin friend is
trying to say is, we'd like the pleasure of your company for
this evening, if you're available.  If not, we will
understand, though our hearts will be broken."  McCoy gave
his most enticing smile to them before he bowed graciously
and then straightened up, ever the southern gentleman.  He
was surprised at the chuckles that came from both of the
ladies. The voices were a little bit deeper than he expected
coming out of such lovely visions, but he ignored it. He
couldn't ignore the exceptionally big and luscious breasts
that were pointing directly in his face from the little
brown haired one on the right.  He couldn't help but stare
at her large rosy lips that were cute as buttons... big
buttons. 

They opened softly to speak to him, "Well, Gentleman, I
don't believe we've had a better offer all evening.  We
would love to spend time with you.  Do you dance?"  Scotty
and McCoy bobbed their heads in silence, unable to take
their eyes off of the little flashes of skin revealed to
them through the gauzy material that both ladies were
wearing on the upper parts of their bodies.  "I'm Lauren,
this is my friend Jody.  Why don't ask us to dance?"

Scotty stood gravely forward and put forth the question:
"Would you care to dance, Jody?" He took her hand, led her
out onto the floor, and began to try to match the movement
of the people already bouncing wildly to the beat. It looked
pitiful, McCoy thought in amusement.

McCoy turned to Lauren, "Well, Ma'am, that leaves just you
and me.  I would be honored if you would dance with me."  He
reached out for her hand, took it gently in his, and pressed
his lips forward to kiss her palm.  Her hands were a little
large, but no one was perfect.

"How can I turn down such a request from a true Gentleman?"
He could have sworn that she batted her eyes.  His heart was
won.  They moved out into the dance floor, he grabbed her
around the waist and took her hand in his and began to do a
slow two-step.  They danced and drank for hours, laughing
and flirting outrageously with each other. Finally, Jody
suggested that they retire to a more intimate setting.  They
left the club and got into the skimmer to leave for the
closest Dew Drop Inn.  

McCoy checked both of them in while Scotty parked the
skimmer.  He handed one code key to his friend, took his
own, and they entered the adjoining rooms.  They gave each
other the thumbs ups sign before they disappeared behind
locked doors.  

McCoy dimmed the room lights down in gently took the hand of
Jody and led her towards the bed.  "Ma'am, I'm planning on
making this an evening you will never forget.  "

"I'm sure you are, sweetheart," She responded breathlessly.
McCoy leaned down to kiss her gently on her lips.  He
allowed the kiss to deepen slowly and professionally until
he was certain she was melting under his torrid assault.
Then he slowly slid his hands down her back and along her
side, making sure that each touch was delicious agony.  He
could feel her breasts rubbing against his chest through her
clothing, and could tell from their firmness, that she was
as aroused as he was.  Then he led her towards the bed and
gently lowered her onto it.  He lay down next to her to
continue to kiss her and stroke her skin slowly, and softly,
making sure not miss a single spot.  First the cheek, then
the neck, then slowly across the breast, down towards the
belly, so sweet, then lower to love land. 

 "Oh shit," McCoy yelped as he jumped out of bed and
 stumbled away, drunkenly. "You've got a dick."

"Of course, dear, what kind of club did you think you were
at.  Everybody cross-dresses at Club Surprise.  Does this
mean you don't want to play anymore, Fleet boy?"

"Holy shit, oh shit, damn, I'm sorry.  You're not a woman!"
He exclaimed as he stumbled again and fell to the floor.
Lauren sat up and looked at him quizzically. He struggled
drunkenly to his feet.

"No, baby, I'm not a woman, but I can be your sweet thing
tonight.  Now stop teasing, let me get these boobs off and
we can have some real fun."  McCoy started backing away
towards the door, "Sir, Ma'am, Lauren, this is not what I
expected for the night.  I'm sorry; I'm too damn old to
change my ways.  The room is paid for; enjoy yourself." He
squeaked.  

McCoy turned to duck from the room and saw Scotty running
out of his at the same time.  They turned to each other at
the same exact instant and yelled, "They're men!"

A breathless Scotty spoke next, "Let's get out of here,
Leonard.  My date is pretty sore with me for leaving, and I
don't want to be caught coming out of a hotel room with a
good-looking, cross dressing, man with breasts."  They
turned and rushed away to find the skimmer... which was
gone.

McCoy turned to Scotty in disbelief, "Where the hell is the
skimmer, Scotty?"

Scotty stood in absolute shock, "I swear I parked it here."

McCoy looked around and groaned in dismay, "Right, you
parked it here, right under the no-parking tow zone sign.
Shit, shit, shit."  They looked at each other, moaned
loudly, and shook their heads.  "Alright," McCoy finally
said.  "Let's go to the office and find out where they tow
the skimmers to."  

They got the address and called for a cab.  The place was
dingy, seedy, and had a cashier's window that was covered in
phaser proofed glass.  It was obvious that had not deterred
some people, because there were phaser burns on the wall
around the glass.  A bored, scruffy looking man sat at the
window and waited for them to cross the room. He asked in a
monotonal voice,  "Which skimmer is yours?"

McCoy described the skimmer that had been towed.  

"That will be two hundred fifty credits," He droned.

"Two hundred fifty credits," Scotty screamed.  "That's
galactic robbery."

"Maybe, but that's what'll cost you to get your skimmer
back.  Pay up or get out of here."  They cursed loudly and
then reluctantly took out their credit chips. Combined
between them, they had just enough to pay for the skimmer,
with 10 credits between the two of them, to last the rest of
the night.  They got into the car silently and rolled back
towards town.

McCoy turned to look at Scotty, "They were really cute and
the rooms are paid for."

"Don't even think about it. I'm drunk, but not that drunk."

"What should we do now, Scotty?"

"We have enough to get a sandwich and a drink a piece. I'm
hungry; let's go." Scotty responded disgustedly.

McCoy protested. "I'll be damned if I go back to the Beach
House tonight.  Jim will know right away that something
happened, and we'll never live it down.  Let's sleep in the
car after the sandwiches and go back and act like we got
laid."

Scotty turned to Leonard and looked at him in resignation.
"Deal." They shook on it and went to get their meal.  



CHAPTER 10


The next evening McCoy got up and stretched luxuriously.
"What are you going to do tonight, Jim?"

"Spock, Sam, and I were talking about going into town for
dinner, then Spock was going to an exhibit of early Antaran
artifacts and Sam and I am going to go to a club. Want to
come?"

"Nope, I think I'll stay here." McCoy's eyes took on a
mischievous twinkle. "Why don't you try Club Surprise; I
hear it's hot."

Kirk looked up from his book, "Why in the hell would I try
an all cross-dressing bar for hets, bi's and same-sexers?"
He asked curiously. "And how the hell did you find out about
it?"

McCoy gulped. "Someone told me it had the most gorgeous
women in Antares Central."

"Bones, you idiot, " Kirk shouted, "that's Club Sunrise. You
went to the wrong place last night didn't you?" Kirk didn't
wait for an answer but started to roll on the couch in gales
of laughter. "Oh shoot, I would have loved to have seen you
and Scotty's face when you found out you were dealing with
guys, before you took them back to a room." Kirk missed
nothing, and that included the tiny grimace that flickered
over McCoy's face. Kirk started to cry he was laughing so
hard. "No, tell me, you, a doctor, figured it out before you
took them up to a room." When he didn't get an answer, Kirk
fell from the couch in tears of laughter. McCoy slunk out to
his bedroom. The gasps of laughter from his Captain followed
behind him.

Later that evening, Kirk coaxed McCoy out of his room to go
to dinner with them. Scotty begged off. He wanted to go back
and check on two important things on the ship, his really
old scotch and some engineering journals. It was safer.

They sat down for dinner in the crowded room. The decoration
was new Galactic Chic, a little from all the major
Federation planets; enough to say we know you're out there.
They ordered and ate a leisurely dinner, saturated with
conversation about everything. McCoy was feeling in an
exceptionally expansive mood. The food was great, the wine
was great, and the company was witty. He had even gotten
over his embarrassment at Kirk finding out about the club he
had gone to by mistake. Suddenly it hit him. "How the hell
did you know about Club Surprise, Jim?" 

Kirk turned to him with a wolfish grin on his face. "I've
been there. Gary took me as a joke. He thought I was such a
prude that I would trip out; I actually liked it. I've never
gotten so much attention in my life. The bi-women, bi-men,
straight women, and same-sex men, all were hot after me. It
was fun. Anyway, Bones, by the time I finish dancing with a
person, I know if it's a woman or a man. So there was no
harm, no foul."

"You mean you danced with people you thought might be guys?"
McCoy asked incredulously.

"Sure, they were all gorgeous, and if I couldn't figure it
out when they first asked me, I just said yes. I wasn't
screwing them; I was just dancing. So, if I ended up on the
dance floor with someone and finally figured they were a
guy, I'd finish the dance and go on to the next applicant. I
almost closed the joint down, but we had to leave in a hurry
because Gary started some trouble."

"I never heard this one. What did he do?" Sam asked.

"He got his nose broken by some man he thought was a
cross-dressing woman, but was really a same-sexer guy. When
he found out the woman he thought was dressing as a guy
looking for a man, was a guy dressing as a guy looking for a
man, he said something stupid, and the guy hit him. Did you
follow all that?"

"Captain," Spock inquired, " why would Commander Mitchell
wish to dance with a woman he thought was dressing as a man,
and looking for a man, in the first place?"

"The same reason you climb a mountain, Spock." Kirk answered
instantly. 

"Which is?" Spock asked politely. 

Kirk looked at Sam and they said in unison, "Because it's
there."

Spock raised both eyebrows, causing everyone to laugh.
"Indeed." He stood up and wiped his face efficiently. "It is
time for my departure. I will see you at the beach house,
Captain."

"Okay, Spock. May the experience be enlightening for you."
Spock bowed solemnly at the correct Vulcan phrase. Perhaps
with encouragement, Kirk would use them more frequently.
Spock made a decision to meditate on the worthiness of that
concept as he walked out of the restaurant with his Captain
watching him the entire way.

McCoy smacked his hands together hard, and started rubbing
them again. "Let's go. It's time for Club Sunrise, and a
pleasant surprise." 

Club Sunrise was the type of club you waited outside to be
invited in. McCoy felt a momentary twinge of regret when he
saw the large crowd. "Damn, we'll be out here forever."

Kirk laughed. "You're too old to pout, Bones. Follow me." He
walked up to the front of the line and stopped in front of
the extremely large bouncer. "Hello." 

"There's a line, friend."

"I know, but my friend over there," he pointed at Sam who
stood up straighter and looked Captainly, " is Captain James
T. Kirk of the Starship Enterprise," Kirk pulled out his
badge, which didn't have a picture. "He wanted to see the
club and decide whether or not he wanted to give a private
party for about three hundred." The bouncers eyes lit up. 

"Kirk?"

"He is definitely Kirk," Kirk smiled agreeably. 

"He's shorter than I expected." The bouncer stated. Sam
snorted and tried to swallow the laugh. "Hell, we can't let
a certified hero wait outside." He motioned Sam forward.
"Sir, you just go right in. Take your friends with you and
have a great night."

"That's very gracious of you, Sir. If you have a chance,
come on up to the Enterprise for a tour before we leave. I
think you'll get a kick out of it. Tell them Kirk sent you."
Sam smiled and rolled on into the club. 

"Sam, you're a load of laughs." Kirk whispered through
gritted teeth.

"Now, now, little brother. That's what you get for lying."
He turned to look around and liked everything he saw. "Hot
damn." The club was beautiful. It was dominated by a giant
holographic sun in the center that seemed to rise out of the
water, which was really the dance floor. Rooms exited off
the central room and people flowed from one room to another.
New age rock dominated the ears, and beautiful bodies
rewarded the eyes. Kirk stood and watched the scene like a
shark in the water: he smelled blood. They took a slow walk
around the huge room, found a table, and sat. 

McCoy bounced like a kid in an ice cream shop trying to
decide what flavor he wanted. He jumped up quickly and
headed for one particularly lovely woman who was standing by
herself next to a side bar. Kirk and Sam watched as he
successfully negotiated a dance. They ordered a round and
sat back to relax. 

Sam looked at his brother. He already looked better than he
had at first. Jimmy was dressed casually in a sleeveless,
rust-colored, loose suit, with the shirt hanging open. He
was relaxed and wearing his favorite golden earband on his
right ear, a sure sign that he had left the Enterprise
behind, for the moment. Sam felt a sense of accomplishment.
The trip had already been worth it.

McCoy came over and sat down with a big smile. "That was a
real woman." He took a long sip of his bourbon. 

Kirk smiled at him, got up, and walked away from the table.
He moved slowly towards the floor and as he got farther away
he seemed to morph in front of McCoy's eyes. He began to
look like a cross between a vid star and a mystery man, out
for a stroll, with a glamour surrounding him. "Guess which
one he's after." Sam asked dryly.

McCoy looked intently in the direction Kirk was walking.
There were several gorgeous blondes, two stunning redheads,
and quite a few drop-dead gorgeous women with brown or black
hair, all in differing heights, colors, and shapes. McCoy
settled on a woman that made his gut contract. She was
standing next to the wall in a dress that was fragments. She
was petite and blonde, Kirk's type. "That one over there."
He pointed at his selection.

Sam chortled. "Hell no. She's brainless, blonde and small.
It'll be that one." He pointed at a medium height, willowy
woman with long jet-black hair, high cheekbones, and large
eyes.

"You have got to be kidding. She is nowhere near pretty
enough and she's not blonde."

 "Who the hell told you Jim prefers blondes?" Sam sat up in
 interest.

"I don't know. That's just the gossip on board ship. We've
never discussed it. Does that mean he doesn't?"

"Hell no. He prefers brains attached to a pretty woman,
regardless of hair color. Actually, I think he has tended to
go for darker, more unusual looking women, when I think
about it. Lord knows, he's always been a  pushover for smart
women. Look at that one I pointed at. Her friends are acting
like airheads. She has this little disgusted look on her
face every time she looks at them giggle at something those
guys say that isn't funny."

"Look at her eyes; those are always the key to a Jimmy Kirk
selection. She's watching the room and not missing a thing."
McCoy was fascinated as Sam continued. "She's scanning the
floor, hoping someone interesting will come and get her away
from her group. She's about to see Jim...now. She's going to
stare at him." She did it. " She's going to smile just a
little, because she's hoping he isn't a pretty boy airhead
like the ones next to her." McCoy was completely hooked when
he saw her do just that. "Jim is going to look at her and
smile just a little. Then she is going to turn and look at
him completely, because she thinks he may have potential.
Jim is going to walk over, slowly. He'll smile and look up
through his lashes. The turkey got the best eyes in the
family and he uses them shamelessly. He'll ask her to dance,
and then he'll take her to a quieter room to talk. After
they come out, he'll bring her over here to meet us. Then
he'll say goodnight and take her to someplace quieter and
more private." McCoy was flabbergasted as that exact
scenario played out in front of his eyes.

"Damn you're good." He sat back in amazement. While he
watched, Kirk walked the woman out to the floor, pulled her
close, and began to dance with her slowly, as though they
were the only ones in the club.

"Nope. I've just watched him in action too many times." Sam
turned and grinned at McCoy. " Now, while the mouse is away,
the cat can play. Aurelan won't mind if I just dance with a
few of the ladies. You won't tell will you, Bones?" Sam
looked at him pleadingly. 

"I don't see anything." Sam looked at him gratefully and the
new, older and taller Captain Kirk got up to have some fun.




CHAPTER 11


Spock walked to the exhibit slowly. Each step was measured
and cadenced to allow him the exact amount of time he would
require to review the events of the last days. He wished to
think, and he found that this particular type of cogitation
required him not to meditate, but to reexamine. 

It was interesting that meditation no longer sharpened his
focus on many issues. Meditation allowed him release from
feeling and  to regain control, but he gained no
understanding of his own emotional state. Vulcans were not
taught to be emotionally introspective, they were taught to
control and deny. He could no longer deny certain things.

This shoreleave had given him many firsts. He had never
rented a cabin with anyone. He had never spent a shoreleave
with anyone. He had never been invited to play a game of tag
flag-ball with anyone. He had never been allowed to just be,
by anyone. He had never watched a laughing James Kirk be
thrown into the water by anyone, or sat as Jim's brother
hugged his captain close. He had never before heard his
captain laugh with such unrestrained happiness. 

It all amounted to a totally original experience. He had
shared confidences on this trip and been rewarded by sharing
of James Kirk's past and his company. It was satisfying in a
way that gave him pause. He saw no judgement in his Captain
eyes and no condemnation, only welcome. 

He decided it had been a logical, not emotional, decision to
aggressively seek this shoreleave. He had made a decision to
gain a more efficient and stable commanding officer. There
was no taint of irrationality in what he had done, because
this met all Surak's criteria for worth. Kirk was worthy of
his loyalty because Kirk was brilliant, successful, and his
commanding officer. Kirk was worthy of his support because
the Federation had intrinsic worth that benefited multiple
races and worlds.  Logic dictated that he pursue James
Kirk's well being, because Kirk's success meant the success
of the ship and the Federation. Yes, Spock assured himself,
all of his actions had been eminently logical.

Tomorrow, Sam, Jim, McCoy, and he were going "exploring".
That was logical also. His Captain had requested his
company, and there was no benefit in refusing to accompany
him. Jim had promised to find a trip to interest both him
and McCoy. Emotion had nothing to do with his decision. 

<He sat and watched as his Captain stood in the surf. Pike
did not move while the waves roared up and pounded his legs,
drenching him with cold water. Spock did not turn at the
sound of the approaching footsteps from behind him; he knew
it was No. 1. Perfume always proceeded her by at least three
meters, especially to his sensitive sense of smell.

"He has been very quiet, lately," she said. "Since he gave
up the ship, he does not want to go out again and sees no
mountains left for him to climb."

Spock turned to look at the woman who stood next him. He
respected her intellect, and had come to value her insights.
"What will he do now?"

"Fade away, Spock, like an old soldier. There is nothing
left for him on Earth.  No one and nothing will give him
what he's had these last few years. He'll disappear into the
faceless bureaucracy of Starfleet." She smacked her fist
against her leg in  frustration. "Damn, Spock, this is no
way to run  an asylum. He needs to be out here, not in with
the crazies and the men without vision."

"Why will it be hard for him to adjust? He is after all, a
Starship Captain, and extremely intelligent," Spock
inquired.

"And that is the problem in one sentence." She sighed.
"Where does a Starship Captain come home to, after they take
away his home?" >



CHAPTER 12


The next day, they woke up to a beach house that was missing
one Captain. A message was on the Com, telling them how to
reach him in case of need, and saying he would see them
later that day. It also stated that he had found something
wonderful for them to explore, and to be dressed to go when
he got back from his own period of personal exploration. Sam
strolled in though the patio door at lunchtime and announced
to Spock and McCoy that he planned on being a complete slug
for the rest of the day.

They were still sitting around when Kirk came in, bursting
with enthusiasm. "Hello," Jim was full of smiles. "What are
you guys doing? You're supposed to be dressed to go."

Spock answered. It was obvious McCoy was almost catatonic
from sun and alcohol. "We were unsure how long you would be
otherwise engaged. Now that you are here, we will get
dressed.  How was your evening?"

"It's still on, so I was only partially successful." Kirk
answered with a wide grin.

Spock started to ask him what was still on, and then he
remembered what Jim had yelled into the air on their first
night of shoreleave. His look made Kirk know he remembered
the shouted pledge. An even bigger smile from Kirk made
Spock's mouth quirk, before he went to change his clothes.
Sam left to do the same. 

After looking around the almost empty room, Kirk went over
and plopped down beside McCoy. "Are you going with us?"

"Hell, yeah I'm going." McCoy answered, drunkenly. "Let me
go take a Sober-Up. I wouldn't miss it for the world. By the
way, where am I going?"

"It's a surprise. But you'll like it; I guarantee."

McCoy got up and walked towards his room. He grunted and
mumbled loudly enough so Kirk could hear him. "I know it's
not to meet any women since the walking refrigerator is
going with us. I don't think Vulcans have sex. They probably
think their way to procreation." The door slammed behind
him.

"Where are you taking us?" Sam mirrored McCoy's earlier
question. They were in a skimmer on the outskirts of Antares
Central.

Kirk's eyes sparkled as he turned briefly away from the road
to look at his brother. "The perfect outing for three people
like you. If I do say so myself, I'm brilliant beyond
belief."

"Humble, too." Sam grumbled and relaxed back into the seat.
He knew his younger brother, and Jimmy was not going to
reveal their destination. " Wake me up when we get to
wherever the hell we're going." Twenty minutes later they
pulled off onto a rural road that wound between  the rolling
Antaran hills, through a forest of the towering grasses that
occupied the ecological niche elsewhere held by trees.. 

Kirk finally stopped, got out, and led them down a path to
an ancient stone village set deep in the grass-forest. Spock
immediately took out his tricorder and began taking
readings. His excitement was palpable. 

McCoy looked around at the setting in delight. "This is
absolutely beautiful."

Two Antarans, male and female, wearing nothing more than
ankle-length loincloths walked towards them. "Be welcome,
James Kirk. The Ansana awaits you." 

Kirk nodded solemnly and motioned for his friends to follow
him. They waited briefly in an antechamber while they were
announced to their host.

"What is an Ansana, Jim?" McCoy asked.

Spock answered. "The most revered thinker and philosopher on
Antares is always called the Ansana. He typically does not
allow Federation visitors. How have you gained entry for us,
Jim?" 

"I just asked." Kirk responded innocently. "I told the
Ansana that I had a healer, a scientist, and a
Agri-biologist with me that would be chomping at the bit to
have a chat. The Antares ecosystem has been having some
problems lately thanks to the incorrect use of Federation
technology. The Ansana is concerned and had voiced an
interest in learning more about our people. I volunteered
you."

"This is great," Sam answered. "This guy is suppose to be
one of the most advanced ecological minds in the
Federation."

"I have also been impressed with his thoughts on the
propagation of humanoid species throughout the Galaxy."
Spock stated. "I have read his articles in the Galactic
Philosopher's Journal and they demonstrated an understanding
of healing on a cellular level. His work is brilliant."

Bones bounced excitedly, "You mean he understands real
medicine, instead of that meditation stuff you play with.
This ought to be good. Now, that you mention it, I remember
a discussion about articles on his view towards natural
self-healing that are based on an understanding of the
scientific basis of cellular healing versus telepathic and
mystical mumbo-jumbo."

They all three turned and stared at Kirk in open wonder who,
in turn looked at them and smiled shyly, "So, I did good?
Does this count as an adventure?"

Sam walked over and rubbed his brother's head
enthusiastically. "You did good, runt." Spock and McCoy
agreed, minus the runt part.

The Antarans returned. "Gentle beings. The Ansana will see
you." They were led deeper into the buildings until they
came out into a peaceful courtyard filled with flowers,
giant waving stalks of grass, and a cascading fountain. 

They were led to an older Antaran woman, sitting serenely
at the table in the middle. Kirk chuckled at the sounds of
surprise from his comrades. She looked up with a gentle
smile. "My niece has told me quite a bit about you, Captain
Kirk. You made quite an impression on her. If I was younger,
I'd have to verify her findings." 

"Youth is not a prerequisite for collecting empirical data,
Ansana," Kirk said with a grin. 

She laughed;  it was the sound of light bells in a chapel,
and made them all feel welcomed. "Sit, Gentlemen. They will
serve us tea here, and we will speak of the Federation and
Antares." The sound of her voice carried Kirk away, back to
the one person in his life who used to know everything.

<" Grandpa, why do we have to throw the fish back?"
Five-year-old Jimmy looked up into the hazel eyes of his
grandfather, the center of all certain knowledge in the
universe. 

"We only take what we can eat, Jimmy. That fish is too big
for us to eat tonight, and we would waste its life for
nothing."

"Can't we put the rest in the 'frigerator?"

"We don't have one, Jimmy. What we have is ourselves, hook ,
line, bait, tent, and sleeping bag. There's no refrigerator
in the tent, unless you hid it under you pillow. Did you do
that, boy?"

Jimmy giggled. "Course not, that's silly. Can we go swimming
on the beach after we eat, Grandpa?"

"Sure, boy, and you can show me how to build a sand castle."
His grandfather's dark tan face broke into a wide grin.

"Grandpa, you know how to build a sand castle," the boy
said, totally amused. "You know how to do everything."

George Kirk wrapped his grandson to his chest and ruffled
the sun-streaked hair. "And don't you ever forget that
either, Jimmy boy." The boy laughed and wrestled with his
Grandfather until he was exhausted.>

They sat and Kirk watched quietly as the conversation took
them all to a realm of thought and insight that kept them
breathless. The Ansana was beyond brilliant; even Spock was
caught in her spell. When the sun finally dipped below the
building's walls and left them all in shadow, she stood
reluctantly, signaling an end to their day. "This has been
most enlightening. I would welcome your return." She
gracefully exited and they were led back to their parked
skimmer.

 Before they got in, Spock turned and stopped Kirk with a
 motion of his hand. "Captain, that was a very considerate
 act on your part. I derived great intellectual satisfaction
 from this encounter."

Kirk smiled at Spock, his brother, and his other friend.
"You're welcome, Mr. Spock. You three have given me the best
Shoreleave I have ever had, bar none. There is no way I can
ever repay you for that. I had no idea that Glena was her
niece. She's the woman I picked up in the bar last night.
When Glena told me who her aunt was, we arranged the
meeting." He smiled, "It wasn't hard to get her to do it.
Ah, by the way, I'll be spending tonight with her again, so
you guys are on your own."

Sam started to laugh, "Dammit Jim, only you could hump your
way to the leading thinker on a whole damn planet."

Kirk licked his lips, " A man's got to do what a man's got
to do." He went around and got behind the wheel to drive
them home. "Load up, gentleman, I still have work to do."
McCoy and Sam teased Kirk most of the way back into town
while Spock sat and watched in contentment.


CHAPTER 13


They spent the next two days in comfortable companionship
during the days; Kirk spent the nights with Glena. She was a
full Professor of Quantum Physics at the Antaran University,
so her days were full. They all got tanned, and relaxed
contentedly.

Kirk was still out with Glena when Sam came in and sat down
in the great room next to Spock. McCoy was nursing a drink
and a book on the other chair. "I need to talk to you two,
in strictest confidence. Will you agree to not tell anything
I say to my brother?"

"I don't know, Sam, " McCoy began.

"I do not agree." Spock stated.

Sam sighed audibly. "I should've known better than to put
the question like that. I'm going to tell you something I
want you to know about my brother. I want you to know this
for his welfare and your own. If at the end of it, you agree
that it will not benefit him to know that we have had this
conversation, will you agree to keep it private?"

They both agreed to that. "If you tell me a lie or something
unbelievable, I'm going to get up and leave immediately,"
McCoy threatened. "I won't have even you slandering Jim."

"Sit back, McCoy and shut up. You talk too damn much before
you think. That could get you and my brother killed one
day." McCoy's mouth gaped open in astonishment, but he sat
back.  Sam looked at them both before he started talking. "I
get a letter from my brother almost every week. I have for
the last 16 years of his life. He has never missed a week,
unless he was sick, or outside of Federation territory. So,
I know a lot about the both of you." Spock raised his
eyebrow at that statement. He was not sure if that gave him
comfort or not. 

"He cares about you both, very deeply, though he will deny
it. That's unusual for him." Sam leaned back and closed his
eyes as he continued to speak. "The denial part isn't
unusual, the caring deeply is. His letters are filled with
you two." His voice lowered and softened as it spoke through
the veils of memories. "My brother once was the kindest,
sweetest, most honest, smartest kid I have ever known, and I
include my own. His only problem in life used to be with our
father, who was never home. Jimmy was a joy to be around."

"Sam," McCoy interrupted, "I'm not sure you should be
telling us this."

"I'm sure." Sam continued, "I love my brother and I know him
better than anyone. Up until our Grandfather died, Jimmy
lived a charmed existence. An unbelievable amount of
extremely painful shit has happened since those years, but
still deep inside him is that same boy. The man that boy has
become is more important to me and to the Federation, than
you can possibly understand. I do understand, but, I'm not
with him, and I can't go where he's going; you are and you
can. Therefore, I'm going to arm you with some things you
will need to keep my brother alive and whole. Call it your
Jim Kirk survival training. I did the same with Gary, and he
kept the trust until the end. As big an asshole as folks
thought Gary was, he was totally loyal to Jimmy."

McCoy snorted. "All Starfleet Captains have a personnel
charts 2 wafers deep. I can't imagine what you'll tell me
that we don't already know."

"That's right, Dr. McCoy. You can't imagine." He took a
drink and rolled the liquid around in his mouth, savoring
the flavor and the silence, before he continued. "They still
won't let you into those sealed files will they?" He gave a
half-smile at McCoy's look of surprise. "I won't tell you
what's in there, but I will tell you that Nogura knows and
so do I. Do you want to hear this or not?" They agreed.

"First, always trust his hunches. Second, he will never
betray you. Third, he will deny he has a hole in his gut,
even if it is bleeding on his shoes; especially if it means
he has to admit to weakness. Fourth, he is a giver, he has
no idea how to receive, except from his Mother and me; you
need to teach him. Fifth, he needs you both to tell him no
when it needs to be no, and call him on his mistakes. At
first, he'll bite you. Then he'll start to listen and absorb
what you say. If you're right, he'll do it your way. It
takes him all of thirty seconds to go through those
processes, so be patient. Sixth, he hasn't given a shit
about his own longevity since age 13. He doesn't care if he
dies, he just cares if he fails. The only things that drive
him are making a difference, exploring, and protecting his
crew. Those are his obsessions and I'm afraid they will kill
him prematurely, so I'm enlisting your aid."

"How may we assist you and Jim?" Spock asked. It was logical
to solicit aid from a knowledgeable party. So far, each
point Sam had made already coincided with much of what Spock
had already deduced to be the truth of James Kirk, except
point number six which was a disturbing and completely new
observation.

Sam forged ahead. "Don't let him play games with you. Don't
let him keep you at arm's length. He will act as if he's
impregnable and invulnerable; it's a lie. Keep the games on
the chessboard. Make him be truthful with you. He usually
will not lie to you, but he will never volunteer information
that will let you see too much of his inner self.  He is his
Father's child. 'When injured do not cry out; when in
danger, work in silence; when in need, look to no-one. Your
strengths and your weaknesses are not for common knowledge.
Friends and family are areas of weakness; never betray your
weaknesses to the enemy, or if possible, have none.' That
was our father's mantra. He was an extremist." Sam took a
slow sip of his beer. "Jim smiles, shouts, jokes, and plays
his roles with skill. Inside, he tries to keep his distance
at all times. He wants to not hurt too much, especially if
he thinks he may have to let you die for the cause, later." 

"You make him and your father sound like cold hearted
bastards. I used to think that about him, but that's not the
man I've gotten to know. He's one of the most emotionally
honest people I've ever met. " McCoy looked at him angrily.
"You're his brother. How can you say these things about
him?"

"I'm his brother and I've known him a hell of lot longer
than you have. I know what he shares with you and what he
bottles up. You're right, he's not a cold-hearted bastard.
In fact, he hurts for every wrong he's ever done another
being, but he holds pain in and plays the role, because
that's what he was taught to do. Our father was better
suited to the loner role, and he tried to give Jimmy tools
to protect himself during the life ahead. Jimmy is a person
who requires emotional and physical contact to thrive. He
has made up for his lack with lots of sex and writing to me.
Don't get me wrong, we weren't abused, or misused. Shit, our
parents loved the last little hair on our heads, but Dad
misread his youngest and gave him instructions that worked
for George Senior, not James the Younger. "

"What did your father do?" McCoy asked.

"Publicly, he was Sector Chief of Fleet Security for
Starfleet Operations. In reality he was second in command of
Black Ops."

McCoy choked on the drink he was sipping, spitting Bourbon
everywhere as he gasped and coughed raggedly. Spock nodded
once silently. "You don't seem surprised, Mr. Spock," Sam
stated mildly.

"It explains many anomalies regarding Jim's rapid rise in
Starfleet, and the disappearance of his Father. He is twelve
years ahead of his grade. That is previously unknown in a
peacetime setting."
 
"Black Ops doesn't have a damn thing to do with his rapid
rise in Starfleet. You're as wrong as you can be, and don't
ever let him hear you say that." Spock's eyebrows rose at
Sam's angry retort, but he did not respond. "Nogura and
April handpicked Jimmy because he passed the command
scenario at age thirteen. His is the most brilliant
strategic mind to ever graduate from the Academy, and that
includes Garth. 

"Nogura needed someone to take the Enterprise out on its
first five-year deep space mission, someone who had no
xenophobia, was mentally flexible, could tolerate
unbelievable stress, could kill, could not kill, and never
allowed himself to be restrained by artificial rules of any
kind. Every one of Starfleet's previous forays out into deep
space has resulted in a dead ship, or a dead Captain. Nogura
has to make this one work, or Starfleet as you know it is
doomed. The funding will dry up like 20-day-old bread, and
the New Humans will take over Earth. My brother was the best
he had, and the old man was not going to let precedent stand
in the way of bumping Jim up over men twice his age."

"You seem to know a lot about the inner workings of
Starfleet." Spock commented dryly. 

"My security clearance is the same as yours, Mr. Spock. Even
Starfleet still hires scientists to do special projects for
them. It helps to pay my bills."

"I do not believe you need to do anything for the money."
Spock said without reservation.

"Maybe, maybe not."

"What do you want from us?" McCoy asked.

Sam sighed and rubbed his eyes wearily. "I will be ...
permanently unavailable soon." He did not pause at the
shocked gasp that came from McCoy. "I need you to help him
through it, and I want you to be his friends. You are the
only ones I've ever met that may be able to keep up with
him. Not even Gary could, as much as he tried."

"How do you know this?" Spock asked before McCoy could get
his mouth to work. He wanted to know more, but that was the
first question he could utter. How indeed did Sam know his
death was approaching? How did Jim know how to understand
Vulcan body language and facial expressions? How did Jim's
mind reach his repeatedly? 

"It is my gift. I know. I won't be more specific; believe
me, or not, whatever you want. The exact date, method, or
time is unclear to me, but it will be relatively soon,
within two years. My children will be well taken care of. My
wife will not be an issue; Jim will. He is as lonely as one
man can be and remain emotionally functional. After he loses
me, he will lose his last hold on his own humanity, unless
he has found someone else to confide in and trust.
Clinically, he won't be insane, just quiet and controlled,
but he will withdraw from empathizing with, or hurting for,
anyone else. He will do his job and become the greatest
military commander you have ever seen, until he makes Garth
look like an amateur, and you have to kill him." 

Spock sat forward intently. "Is your gift developmental,
genetic, intuitive or deductive? How is the Captain affected
by this? What gifts does he possess?"

"Sorry, Spock. It's no longer my story to tell. You know all
that you'll find out from me."

"You're bullshitting us, Sam." McCoy barked. "This isn't
funny."

"Discussing the end of life is rarely funny, Bones, but I
assure you I'm not joking. It really doesn't matter if you
believe me or not; I'll still die. The important thing for
you is to make sure he confides in you and learns to trust
you. If he trusts you and cares for you, he'll behave
himself. He hates to disappoint the people he loves. He'll
want to be the best friend and Captain he can be, because he
knows that's important to you. That's really important, if
you want to survive the next few years."

"Who the hell are you? What the hell are you?"  McCoy asked
harshly. Suddenly, he was very frightened. What had he
missed? He knew he had done every scan imaginable on James
Kirk. His Captain and friend was a full human, and nothing
more.

Sam downed the last of his drink in one long draft. "Gotta
go, Jimmy is on his way back. I don't want him to see me
with you right now, because you're not the only ones he can
read like a book." He slid out the patio door. The front
door opened and James Kirk walked in.


CHAPTER 14



McCoy looked at the man he called his Captain, and who he
had pledged to take care of with all of the skills at his
disposal. Kirk was the boy-man again. He was unashamedly
happy and sated from a few nights of sex and a few days of
sharing with friends. It was hard to see in this person the
man Sam had described. However, all he had to do was
remember the days of silence on the ship, the decisive
destruction of the Orion captain, and Kirk walking into the
hut with Kleinschmidt, to recognize the truth of Sam's
revelations. 

Kirk was an enigma, a man of extremes. All that was good and
so much that was bad in humans was wrapped up in this man in
front of him. McCoy sat, looked at Spock, and brooded. 

Spock showed little expression as he and Kirk chatted, but
McCoy could see how Kirk seemed to respond to every
statement that Spock made, as if he was reading both the
voiced and the unvoiced words. McCoy had seen that before,
but now it took on a completely new and uncomfortable
interpretation. McCoy was and had always been uncomfortable
with telepaths. This made him question everything he knew
about Kirk, and he wondered if he could ever be what Kirk
needed in a friend.

Later that day, Sam and his brother swam lazily in the surf,
then jogged a few miles on the beach before sitting together
and talking one more time before they had to part. 

"I'm glad I came, Jimmy. This has been good for us both."

"I'm going to miss you. I'll try to bring the ship to Deneva
the next time we are in the sector."

"When will that be?"

"Probably next year. We have some deep space mapping we have
to do first. We'll be far from the Federation borders for a
long time." Kirk laid back on the sand and sighed
contentedly. "I'm happy, Sam. It's been a long time since I
could say that, not since Gary really. I feel cleansed now."

Sam looked at his beloved little brother. "You are one hell
of a Captain, Jimmy. Your crew would die for you."

"I don't want them to die for me, Sam. I want them to live
for me."

"I know." He sat and thoughtfully looked at his brother, the
Starship Captain. Sometimes he could forget that, but not
for long. Jim breathed responsibility and supped at the
table of weighty decisions. It was hard to believe there
were only 8 Starship Captains in the Federation, and his
little brother was the youngest and the best of them all. "I
told them about Dad."

Kirk looked at his brother in momentary surprise and then he
shrugged. "I assume you felt it was justified."

"I did."

Kirk sat in silence; a thoughtful expression molded his
face. He abruptly looked at Sam painfully. "You know your
time, don't you? That's why you made sure to come with us."

Sam hung his head. He had tried to hide the truth, but it
was so hard to do around his brother. "Yes." He watched as a
solitary tear welled up in his brother's hazel eye and
reached over to brush it away.

"When? How?" Kirk ignored the second crystal tear that
flowed down his cheek.

"I don't know, years maybe." He lied. "But, we don't see
each other that often and I needed to see you again."

Kirk hunched over and grabbed his knees to his chest. His
sides heaved as he fought to keep the rest of his tears
inside. Sam reached over and held him in silence. They both
knew better than to deny what was. "I'll go crazy after you
die, Sam." Kirk finally gasped. "You're the only person I've
ever confided in. It's not fair. You haven't harmed a soul.
It should be me, not you. I'm the killer. You have kids and
a wife. I'm single and my son doesn't even know I exist.
No-one will miss me. Oh God, it should be me." He almost
screamed, but his control made the sound come out as a
chilling moan.

"Jimmy," He shook his brother roughly, "life isn't fair. You
know that, dammit. I've had a great life. I've loved and
lived it to the fullest. I'm content. I'll be with God and
all those that went ahead of us." Sam hugged him tight
enough to hurt, if he hadn't been in so much pain already. 

"This is my gift to you, Little Brother," he said softly,
gently. "You will do all that you have been born to do. You
will love and be loved more deeply than you can possibly
imagine. Your name will be written in the stones of time. I
know this and I want you to know this. You are not alone,
and you will never be alone again until the day you die, if
you accept your fate." 

The only response was a low moan of denial.


CHAPTER 15



<"Jimmy, where are you? Jimmy, answer me." Sam shouted at
the top of his voice.

Sixteen-year-old James Kirk looked up from where he was
huddled over his knees, sitting on the sand. He had been
found. "Over here, Sam." He let his head fall back to his
knees. The sand shifted as his brother sat down next to him
heavily. They were due at the memorial service for their
father in one hour. Kirk had retreated to the beach of San
Francisco Bay Park. Somehow, his brother had traced him to
his refuge.

"It's cold." Sam said. Jimmy didn't answer. "He loved us,
you know." There was still no response. "He tried his best,
Jimmy. You need to stop being mad at him. Everybody has to
die, and it was his turn. You shouldn't be mad him for doing
what everybody has to do." His brother still didn't answer.
"You're one stubborn bastard."

"I might as well have been." Came the bitter retort.

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?" Sam asked angrily.

"You heard me. Considering all the time I got to spend with
him, I might as well have been a bastard. He never was here
when I needed him. He wasn't here for Grandpa's death,
graduation, games, holidays, Tarsus. I might as well have
been a bastard. At least that would have been a legitimate
excuse." The blow that hit him flattened him to the ground.
Jimmy jumped up ready to fight and stopped in amazement when
he realized his brother was crying.

"You selfish, self-centered little prick. He was my father
too, and the only man that Mom has ever loved. How dare you
say that? He did the best he could for you and I'm sorry if
that wasn't good enough for your ass. You act like you're
the only one hurting. Look at you, Mr. Tarsus, Mr.
Starfleet, you fucking little robotic killer. You are so
afraid to say it hurts that your father is dead, that you'd
rather be mad at him for dying even if it hurts the rest of
us. Fuck you, Jimmy. The universe doesn't revolve around
you." 

"Sam," Jimmy screamed. "Sam, wait." His brother's receding
back stopped, but refused to turn around. "Why did he have
to die?" he pleaded. "I loved him. I didn't want him to
die." Sam turned around and looked at him silently. "He'll
never see me finish Starfleet. He'll never know I made it.
He won't be there when I get my ship." His choked whisper
floated across the space between them.

Sam came back and gathered his brother into his arms,
shedding tears for both of them since Jim could no longer
cry his own. "He'll know, Jimmy."

"I loved him, Sam."

"He knew, Jimmy.">

They sat together on the sand until Kirk finally stopped
shaking and relaxed his hold. Sam softly stroked his
brother's hair, just as he had done when Jimmy was a child,
while the Starship Captain trembled silently in anguish.
Even at this most painful of times, Kirk refused to allow
the tears to fall. Starship Captains do not cry.

The next day was a subdued one for them all. Kirk and Sam
spent the entire day together, walking along the beach and
talking. Spock watched them with  a strange and unfamiliar
ache in his chest and decided to spend the rest of the day
in meditation.

Later, McCoy caught Sam on the beach when Jim had gone
inside to refresh their drinks. "I'll make this quick. I
asked you once and you conveniently didn't answer me. Who
the hell are you?"

 Sam turned and looked at McCoy in silence, until the doctor
 became convinced he would never speak. "Dr. McCoy, my name
 is Sam, and I am the Fruit of Humanity."

McCoy stared at him, poleaxed, then watched as Sam walked
off. "What the fuck is that suppose to mean?" he whispered.

Sam was scheduled to leave on the evening shuttle, and Kirk
took him to the port with McCoy and Spock in tow. Sam turned
solemnly to Spock, first. "Live long and prosper, Spock." He
gave the Vulcan salute. "It was intellectually gratifying to
share this time with you. Don't forget our agreed-upon goal
for that special project."

"I shall not. Live long and prosper, George Samuel Kirk. It
has been gratifying to share this time with you as well."

Sam turned to McCoy and shook his hand firmly. "Bones, I
left a bottle of Saurian brandy at the house for you. Try
not to get alcohol poisoning."

"Hell, Sam, I'm a doctor. I know how to treat alcohol
poisoning in my sleep. You be good, and I promise, if you
send me some of that Denevan wine, I'll never tell Aurelan
about the antics of the tall Captain Kirk." 

Sam's eyes flashed in momentary amusement. "I'll be damned;
that's blackmail. You are one sick son of a gun." Sam
laughed. "I like that in a man." He clasped the older man in
a giant bear hug and then he turned to his brother. He
silently wrapped him in his arms and they stood in the
middle of the port and hugged wordlessly, before Sam pulled
back and wiped absently at his eyes. "I'll see you around
and I expect my letter next week, okay?"

"Okay, Sam." Jimmy Kirk's voice was muted.

"See you, Little Brother."

"See you, Sam. I love you."

Sam smiled. "I know."

Jimmy stood and watched him walk into the shuttle. They did
not move from their spot until the ship was beyond the event
horizon. Kirk turned to look at Spock and McCoy where they
waited patiently for him. His smile was sad and resigned.
"Shoreleave is over, Gentleman. Let's go home." 

Jimmy was gone, McCoy observed to himself, and now the
Starship Captain was back. At least they had some fun, while
it lasted.



THE END