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12OCLOCK.WAV Wash Out: "Sir, it appears we have unidentified radar contacts. Looks like enemy aircraft at twelve o'clock." 
Admiral Benson: "Really...twelve o' clock?" Well, that gives about, eh, twenty-five minutes. I think I'll step out for a burger." 
30.1kb
AMNOTR2.WAV Ramada: "What is this macho thing?!" 
Topper: "He started it." 
Kent: "Did not." 
Topper: "Did too..."
44kb
AMNOTR22.WAV Kent: "You're not flying with us." 
Topper: "Am too." 
Kent: "Are not." 
Topper: "Am TOO!" 
Crowd: "Ooooo"
18.4kb
BAZOOKA.WAV Admiral Benson: "Oh good, here, help me with this. My eyes are ceramic...a bazooka round at Little Big Horn. Or was it Okinawa? The one without the Indians!" 18.9kb
BLADDER.WAV Admiral Benson: "Oh, good God, I gotta pee. I had the better part of my bladder blown off at Guadalcanal ." 14.1kb
COMPOST.WAV Admiral Benson: "...I mean, one minute you're in bed with a knock out gal...or guy. And the next you're a compost heap. Doesn't that bother any of you?! 'Cause it scares the living piss out of me!" 45.5kb
DISNYLND.WAV Announcer: "Hey, Topper Harley. Now that you've killed the bad guy and made the world safe for democracy, what are you going to do to cash in on your newfound fame?" 
Topper: "I'm going to Disneyland!"
23.2kb
HORSE.WAV Topper: "I was really impressed with the way you handled that stallion. You know when I saw you dig your heels into his sides, tighten up the reigns and break his spirit, I never wanted to be a horse so much in my life." 25kb
INBRED.WAV Topper: "My uncle used to tell me that not playing to win is like sleeping with your sister. Sure, she's a great piece of tail with a blouse full of goodies but it's just illegal." 
Lt. Commander Block: "Jesus, Topper, c'mon." 
Topper: "Then you get into that whole inbred thing; kids with no teeth who only play the banjo, eat applesauce through a straw, pork farm animals." 
Lt. Commander Block: "Topper, that's enough!"
50.9kb
LONGLEGS.WAV Topper: "Those are some long legs." 
Ramada: "I just had them lengthened. Now they go all the way up."
15.3kb
PANTS.WAV Admiral Benson: "Ah, many of you are wondering what's wrong with m pants. Well, that started running short of material right before they got to the knees. So, don't give me any shit." 18.1kb
RECTUM.WAV Dead Meat: "Isn't there something that can done?" 
Wash Out: "Well, there's a delicate corneal inversion procedure; umm...'multioptipupiloptomy.' But, in order to keep from damaging the eye sockets, they gotta go in through the rectum."
25.2kb
SECNDARY.WAV Admiral Benson: "...Now if you have trouble hitting your objective, your secondary targets are here and here. An accordion factory and a mime school." 40.7kb
SHOTDOWN.WAV Admiral Benson: "...You know I've personally flown over a hundred and ninety-four missions and I was shot in every one. Heh, come to think of it, I've never landed a plane in my life." 41kb
TOAST.WAV Admiral Benson: "Well, gentlemen, we've waited a long time to hear this. In exactly five hours and seventeen minutes we hit the enemy toast."  
Lt. Commander Block: "I think that's the enemy coast, Sir." 
Admiral Benson: "Huh? Coast? Well, it'll take a little more planning but it doesn't matter."
34.7kb
VIRGIN.WAV Topper: "So, I take it you've been with a man before." 
Ramada: "I'm a virgin. I'm just not very good at it."
22.4kb
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