TITLE: "Shelf Life: Interrupting Bliss" AUTHOR: Jen EMAIL: JenR13@aol.com SPOILERS: None RATING: PG-13 KEYWORDS: MSR CLASSIFICATION: SR and a little bit of (twisted) H ARCHIVE: Go ahead and archive, just keep my name on it :-) SUMMARY: Mulder can never do anything right, at least according to his fish.
Disclaimer: Not mine. Never were. Never will be.
Writer's Notes: Well, it's been awhile, and this little story has been sitting on my hard drive for weeks, so I decided to let it loose. A little more rauchy than I intended, but this is not me speaking, it's the fish. :-)
"Shelf Life: Interrupting Bliss" By Jen
Well, I thought tonight was the night. In fact, the whole tank thought tonight was the night. Mulder had the chance to do something great. Something that would bring daily food to our tank. That something's name was Dana Scully. Well, living in Mulder's tank can have it's benefits. I can see everything. The stories I could sell if I wasn't just a fish in a tank. Oh, well, back to tonight. Mulder came home happy. That doesn't just happen. Of course my first thought was he and Scully had already done the deed at work on the brand new oak desk I heard him ordering on the phone last week. And he charged it to a guy named Skinner. All I know is that oak desks aren't cheap and this Skinner guy is probably hasn't found out yet if Mulder is still alive. Mulder was humming. I was shocked! The Mulder I lived with did NOT hum! At this point I really thought that Mulder had gotten laid. I guess I would hum too if it was the first time in three years. He's on the phone now. Ordering pizza and lighting candles on the table. Candles and pizza? Ok, who abducted the real Mulder? Oh, wait, here's the Mulder I know. He's putting a bowl of sunflower seeds in the middle of the table. Though I've never seen him put them in a bowl before. Guess the lovely Scully is coming over tonight. Mulder sets the seeds down, and walks toward the bathroom. He's fixing his hair, for the 45th time tonight. There's a knock at the door. Mulder stumbles over his own feet as walks toward the door. Not the most graceful of men, but guess it doesn't matter. "Ok, tonight's the night, Mulder. Don't screw it up," he whispers to himself as he opens the door. Little does he know that he'll be eating those words before he eats the pizza. He has opened the door and Scully walks casually in, carrying a bag in her left hand. "What's that?" Mulder asked. "Iced tea," she answers. "Must be fate." He grins. Scully placed the iced tea down and gave a smile of her own. Gee, they better not get sappy on me, I have enough of that with the two "love fish" who are now making at the bottom of the tank. I came up for something good! Ah, they're moving. Time for some action. This is going to be better than that movie Mulder likes to watch, "Bambi does Dallas." Now that the iced tea has been discussed, Mulder shut the door behind them. "Let's eat, first." "You cooked?" Scully said, shocked. "Hey if calling Pete's Pizza qualifying as cooking, I sure did." "Living room dining?" Scully said as she glanced toward the coffee table. "Well, I thought the couch might be better for dessert.....," Mulder trailed off. He led Scully to the couch. Scully dropped her coat on a chair and she and Mulder sat down. Ahh, two lovebirds..........if he screws this relationship up, we'll all die on him. And flushing four fish down the drain can really stop up your toilet! Scully went to reach for a glass, when Mulder grabbed her and kissed her. And some kiss!! They must be breathing out of their ears! Finally they came up for air, so to speak. Now, here's where our hero went wrong. He pushed Scully down on the couch and leaned toward her. As I mentioned before, Mulder is not the most graceful FBI Agent in the world, so when he went to prop himself up on one hand while he kissed Scully, he managed to loss his balance. So big deal, they fall off the couch, right? Wrong!! Mulder had to make things complicated. He had to fall almost on top of Scully and had to hit his head on the very cold and hard piece of wood that made up the end of the couch arm. And in the true style of Mulder, he knocked himself out. Scully shook him and realized he was unconscious. "Oh, Mulder," she said, sighing. "Let's hope we don't have to add another concussion to your long list of accidents. How am I going to explain this one?" She moved him off of her and settled him on the couch. She got some ice wrapped in a towel and put it on top of the huge bump Mulder had that was already turning purple. Well, Mulder blew it folks!! Let's hope that some of the sympathy Scully has for him will help him rebound. At least for our sake.
-That's it. Hey, I knew it was a little cruel for Mulder, but I couldn't help it. :-) Do Mulder and Scully have that "first date" they're wanted? Will the fish ever get there food? Will Mulder come back for the rebound? Find the answers to these and more in "Shelf Life: On the Rebound" coming to a newsgroup near you. All comments can be sent to JenR13@aol.com.