You've seen the L.A. Math Test. You may have seen the San Francisco Math Test. But you haven't seen this one yet… it's the

Davis Math Test!

(Warning: Non-Davis people will probably be baffled by some of the stuff.)

Origins of the test: I was in a real bad mood for awhile, and had proceeded to gripe about it all over a school newsgroup (ucd.life) . After Remington commented that I "write like a big pair of puppy- dog eyes, looking up at us weepily." I suspected that people had hit the limit of tolerating my crankiness, and I said I'd put something happy up for a change. I'd been sent the S.F. test in e-mail, and decided to post that, and then take suggestions for a Davis version, and a few people had some.

This was created on the ucd.life newsgroup by me, Remington Stone, Susan Rankin, & Jeff Hemenway. The initials of whoever wrote the questions are indicated at the end, uninitialed questions were written by me.

. If you'd like to see some suggested answers to the test, click here.

2. Mike is a computer science major. If he starts his own company as a freshman, how many years will it take him to get rich and how many decades after that will it take him to finally get a date?

3. It's Anita's first day working at the Silo. If three customers order fries and a drink, one orders a chicken sandwich, two order a milkshake, one orders a taco, and three more order burgers, how many of those orders will she forget to put into the queue?

4. Kevin and Jay are running for ASUCD office. On election day, if they have fifty campaign volunteers, stationed on the corner of every block, in front of each building, and in front of every voting station handing out fliers, how many fliers will Ashley be handed as she walks from the gym to the Silo?
Bonus question: How many trees will die to ensure Kevin and Jay's election into ASUCD?

5. In the Aggie two days ago, there were two ads telling people to recycle it. Yesterday there were four. Today there are three. What percentage of produced Aggies will actually be recycled?

6. The mayor wants to put up a "toad tunnel" so that the toads won't become roadkill. How many frogs will actually USE the tunnel?

7. The bulletin boards in the MU are cleaned off once a month (or something like that, I forget). There are approximately 200 (guessing) clubs on campus. How many days will it take for the boards to be completely covered up again?

8. Chris lives five miles away from campus. How long does it take the smell of cowshit to drift down from school to his apartment?

9. Two Davisites are approaching each other at a rate of 5 meters/second each. What are the odds of them making eye contact? (RS)

10. During lunch hour of the first week in fall, a tremendous bike accident involving twelve freshmen and a biophysics professor occurs in the roundabout near the silo. How many ticketable infractions does the officer on the scene observe? (RS)

11. At 7-4-1 drink night at the Grad, how many drinks could a thinking man drink, if a drinking man could think drinks? (RS)

12. There are three UCD students working at the counter. One is on the cash register, one is watching the one on the cash register and one is talking to a friend on the phone. If you are the first person in line how long will it take until the person on the cash register gets around to checking you through? (SR)

13. If IT has x lines and there are y students trying to get through, how many hours can a student expect to experience a busy signal? (SR)

14. Cheryl's Pass 1 call-in time is on the last day, at 6 p.m. She's an anal person and has planned six alternate schedules in case she can't get into stuff. How many classes will she wind up taking that aren't on any of her schedules because they were all filled up?
Bonus question: Name the courses she's forced into.

15. Your class begins at 9:00am. If you leave your house at 8:30, and drive through the Richards overpass, how many cycles of the moon will pass before you make it to campus? (JH)

16. You start at Bainer Hall. If there is a CALPIRG person haunting the Silo, two petitioners trying to save the Endangered Species of the Week near the library, and an Affirmative Action rallier at the MU, what is the quickest path to get to Wellman?(JH)

17. If it is the middle of October, what is the minimum number of clothing changes necessary to insure comfort throughout the day?(JH)

18. If person A is 500 yards away using a leaf-blower, and person B is 200 yards away snoring, which one will receive a citation first? (JH)

19. If you need to xerox class notes and you happen to be in say, Hoagland, how long will it take you to find a xerox machine? (SR)
And how long after that will it take you to find a xerox machine that WORKS?