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The Quickie

FADE IN
EXT. VERANDA IN MEXICO. NIGHT
ED, late 50s slightly overweight, gray, and JOE, 30s, 
athletic, hispanic, sit on the veranda looking out 
across a large lake.  To the south they can see 
mountins. 
The sun is just below the horizion so you can no longer 
see it, but it lights the sky and the bottoms of the 
clouds with a bright gold color.
The two men sit watching the sight silently.
		JOE
It looks like millions 
of gold dubbloons the 
way the sun is shining 
on the bottoms of the 
clouds.  Just like 
millions. 
		ED
I know where there are 
millions in gold......
		JOE
What? You know where 
there are millions in 
gold?
		ED
Millions in gold 
dubloons with a curse on 
them......
SAUNDRA, 50s, voluptous, very atractive, enters 
carrying a tray of drinks.
		SAUNDRA
Ed, you might as well 
not start that story 
again.
		ED
Well, I am sick and 
tired of keeping it to 
myself.  Maybe someone 
else can come up with an 
idea on how to recover 
it.
		SAUNDRA
What do we need with it?  
We live well enough 
here.
		ED
I've thought about it for 
over 3 years, Joe, and I 
can't come up with a 
solution.  Maybe you can, 
		SAUNDRA
Well, at least there are 
several extra shares now 
that three have died.
		ED
Okay, Joe, here's the 
story....
Ed sits back in his chair looking at the sky.
INT.  CAFE.  NIGHT
BILL, 40s slender quiet type, JERIE, petite, almost 
mousy, DON, tall handsome 30s and SUSAN, slight very 
blond, are sitting at a table for 8.  MIKE, 20s, very 
rubust looks like a construction worker and MARLA, 
sweet brunette,  have just joined the group.  
		BILL
Hey, Mike, where the 
hell's Ed?  He's usually 
here by now.
		MIKE
I don't know, but you're 
right, in 7 years, he's 
never been late.
		MIKE
I'll bet he got caught 
in traffic around the 
IRS building.  Its 
terrible today with 
everyone trying to get 
their return in at the 
last minute.
		MARLA 
It isn't fair.   I've 
heard that it's possible 
the IRS is even illegal.
		BILL
You're right, it isn't 
fair.  They are like an 
American version of the 
'SS'.
		MIKE
Hey, I heard it was a 
volentary 
'contribution'.
		MARLA
If its volentary than 
I'm going to quit 
volenteering.
		BILL
I wouldn't, if I were 
you.
		JERRIE
In just three years I'll 
bet we've 'volenteered' 
over 40 thousand to that 
hole in the ground.
Don is looking up at the ceiling with his hands 
steepled in front of his lips, looking like he was in 
great thought.
		DON
Did you ever think there 
might be some business 
that you could invent 
that would be free of 
the IRS?
Susan looks exasperated.
		SUSAN
Not now, Don.
		DON
I have thought about it 
for a long time, and I 
am trying to figure out 
how you could make money 
using your brain only to 
produce the things you 
need.
		SUSAN
First you have to start 
with a brain.
		DON
The IRS still hasn't 
started taxing your 
thoughts, so if you 
could convert them 
directly into food and 
clothing, you would have 
a tax free enterprise.
		BILL
Sounds like a winner to 
me, but, let me guess,  
you haven't figured it 
out yet, right?
		DON
Maybe......
		BILL
Well, lets hear it then.  
How come you aren't 
doing it?
		DON
There's a business that 
you can get into for 
less than 150 bucks, 
where you will control 
over ten thousand 
workers who will work 
for you for only a home 
with no plumbing or 
electricity, with no 
benefits, and will allow 
you to search their 
house when ever you want 
and take everything that 
they have saved.
		SUSAN
Here we go again.
		DON
You wont even have to 
pay social security for 
them or deduct income 
tax from their pay, they 
don't have any pay.
		SUSAN
I've heard all this 
before, may I be 
excused?
Susan makes a motion as if to leave the table then sits 
back down.
		SUSAN
He has been working on 
this problem for as long 
as I have known him, and 
this is the best he can 
do.  It isn't worth 10 
years of thought.
Ed and Sandra enter.
		ED
Hi gang, sorry we are 
late, but the IRS has 
traffic backed up all 
the way to Onion Creek.  
Thank god I won't have 
to pay them anything any 
more.
		BILL
What the hell are you 
talking about, did you 
just find the answer to 
our prayers, a job with 
no income tax?
		ED  
Well, not quite, but 
you're halfway right, a 
job with no income.  TVI 
has just closed their 
doors, and I'm now 
unemployed.  17 years 
with TVI and I'm out.
		DON  
Well at least you have 
your retirement fund, or 
a golden parachute, or 
something like that 
don't you?
		ED
All I got was my last 
pay check.
		DON
Wow, that's a real 
downer but you won't 
have much trouble 
getting something else 
with your experience. 
There are allot of 
defense industries out 
there looking for EE's.
		ED
I hope you're right.
Ed sighs.
		BILL
We were just talking 
about how to beat the 
IRS, Don was just about 
to regale us with his 
version of a 
'sweetheart' business 
that allows you not to 
pay the employees.
		ED
Sounds immoral to me.  
Anyway, I'm looking for 
one that will pay their 
employes.  I just found 
one that won't.
		BILL
Well, Don, what is this 
business?  Ed needs 
something to do, and 
I'll bet he could come 
up with the 150 bucks.
		DON
Well, I figure that an 
apiary is what you need.
		ED
What is an apiary.
		DON
A bee hive or two or 
three.
		DON
See, you don't even have 
to feed the workers, 
they find their own.  
There is no paper work 
to keep, and you don't 
even have to remember 
their names!
		BILL
I thought you were 
serious, Don.
		DON
Its a perfect business, 
unless you get stung. 
And that's true of any 
business.
Don laughs
		ED
I don't think my 
neighbors would think 
much of that idea Don,  
Onion Creek is kind of 
picky about how you 
live.
		DON
You cant even have pets?
		ED
They won't even let you 
park a car on the street 
if it isn't in running 
condition.  Can you 
imagine Bill out there 
with his collection of 
junkers. 
		DON
They would tar and 
feather him and ride him 
out of town on a rail.
		BILL
Those aren't junkers.  
They're collectors items 
and someday I will sell 
them for what they are 
worth and retire.
		ED
After the IRS gets their 
share of the money 
you'll be lucky to be 
able to pay for this 
dinner.
Don is staring off into space.
		DON
You know, when you sign 
your IRS form at the 
bottom, it says 
something like 'for the 
rest of my life I will 
be bound by this 
document and any perjury 
that I have committed'.
		ED
Yeah, that's always 
bothered me.  Not that I 
cheat or anything, just 
the lifetime jeprody.
		DON
So when you pay your 
income tax, you are 
subjecting yourself to 
danger for the rest of 
your life.
		BILL
If you dont pay it 
you're endangered for 
the rest of your life.
		DON
But think about this, 
when you rob a bank, you 
are only at risk for a 
few minutes.  Either you 
get away, or you dont.
		BILL
The proceeds are tax 
free and you face less 
risk than by filing your 
1040 on a legitimate 
business.
		MIKE
I think the risk reward 
ratio is about even. 
Neither is good.  
Besides, I dont like 
close places.
Don looks at Ed.
		DON
You know,  if you 
collect Unemployment 
insurance, you will have 
to pay income tax on 
that.  
		ED
No, I didnt know that.  
This is the first time 
I've ever been 
unemployed.
		DON
Unemployment and Social 
Security are the only 
insurance's you have to 
pay income tax on!
		MIKE
Insurance is supposed to 
be tax free. Its because 
Social Security and 
Unemployment are 
government run 
insurance, and there is 
no lobby to fight for 
you in congress.
		DON
I wonder if Clintons 
national health 
insurance with its 
mandatory contributions 
will be tax free when 
you use it
		MIKE  
You're dreaming, Don.  
Of course you will have 
to pay taxes on it, how 
do you think Clinton 
will pay for it?
		SUSAN
Taxes are a ratchet, 
they only go one way, 
... up!  
INT.  EDS CAR. NIGHT
Ed is driving with Saundra beside him.
		ED
Its getting 
discouraging.  No one 
wants an old man.
		SAUNDRA
Its only been a week, 
Ed.  We will find 
something.  Lets just 
enjoy dinner tonight and 
forget about it for now.
		ED
Well, at least the house 
is paid for.
		SAUNDRA
Sometimes I wish I'd 
finished law school.  My 
secretarial job won't 
support us forever.
		ED
You know, I never 
thought about age 
discrimination when I 
was employed, but now I 
see it everywhere.
		SAUNDRA
I think you are reading 
too much into your 
rejections.
		ED
No, when they tell you 
they only hire at entry 
level, thats age 
discrimination.  They 
know you won't apply for 
entry level when you're 
50 years old.
		SAUNDRA
Well, you didn't want to 
work for 3M anyway.
Ed drives into the parking lot at the cafe.
INT. CAFE. NIGHT.
Ed and Saundra walk up to the table where the group is 
seated.
		DON
Did you get an offer at 
3M?
		ED
No, they wouldn't even 
take my application.
		DON
Well, as I said last 
week, you could rob a 
bank and just retire.
The laughter ripples around the table except for Bill 
and Jerrie.
		ED
What's the matter with 
you two, I am the one 
without a job.?
		BILL
We may have lost ours, 
or soon will.
		ED
You can't lose yours, 
you're the owner of the 
bussiness.
		JERRIE
Not for much longer.
		BILL
Daltons Book stores is 
opening up across the 
street in the mall.  
It'll put us out of 
business.
		JERRIE
Only three people came 
into the store today.  
Thats boreing as well as 
expensive.
		ED
Damn, thats another 
downer.  What're you 
gonna do about it?
		BILL
Mom and Pop book stores 
are out these days.  
Maybe we could both go 
back to teaching.  They 
always need teachers.
		JERRIE
I already called a 
friend
of mine at the high 
school and she said 
there was an opening for 
a part time teacher that 
would probably turn full 
time by the end of the 
semester.
		BILL
I think we will try to 
hold on with just me 
running things, for a 
while anyway.
		JERRIE
I wish we had sold the 
place to that idiot from 
San Antonio who made 
that ridiculous offer 
three years ago when 
things were booming. 
		BILL
If he walked in now and 
made that offer 	I 
would snap it up in a 
second.
		JERRIE  
Fat chance of that 
happening, With the 
current economy and that 
new book store we will 
be lucky to get half 
that much.  
		MARLA
We're looking for a new 
travel agent, one of 
ours quit today.  Things 
aren't looking up just 
yet, but we have to keep 
the desks full.
Mike looks at Marla angrily then speaks to Ed. 
		MIKE
We always have to get 
help that is better than 
the one that left.  
There is no time to 
train someone, they have 
to hit the ground 
running
		SAUNDRA
Ed has been thinking 
about a new career. 
Maybe that travel agent 
thing wouldn't be to 
bad.  At least we could 
get some cut rate travel 
out of the deal
Mike rolls his eyes back looking at Marla who has a 
weak "ouch" look on her face as she bites her lip.
 
		SAUNDRA
Maybe we could make 
enough to open a garage 
after a few years, or 
maybe the economy will 
come back and he could 
return to engineering
	DON
Hey, lets order 
something, I'm hungry.  
How about if I buy a 
bottle of wine to 
celebrate Marlas new 
job?
INT.  DONS BEDROOM.  NIGHT
Don enters.  Susan is in bed.
	DON
Cummon, Suzie, you gotta 
get up.  Its time to go.  
You're late.
	SUSAN
Damn, I overslept.  What 
time is it?
	DON
Its 6:30.  You have 30 
minutes to get there.
	SUSAN
I dont like this night 
shift stuff.
	DON
I can't help it.  If I 
could've kept you on at 
the lab I'd have done it.
	SUSAN
I know, but working for 
you was alot better than 
this night shift nursing.
	DON
Its only been three days.  
You'll get used to it.
	SUSAN
I hope you get another 
contract, I liked having 
us both work at the same 
place.
	DON
When we lost that 
contract there was only 
enough money for one 
doctor and no nurses.
Not much chance of 
getting another now that 
the "Evil Empire" has 
been defeated.
	SUSAN
Maybe you could go back 
into private practice and 
I could be your office 
nurse.  
	DON
I'm all for our working 
together.  I dont like an 
empty bed.  
	SUSAN
You'll get used to it.
	DON
I don't want to get used 
to it!  By the way my car 
is running kind of funny.  
I'll have to use yours 
tommorow.
	SUSAN
What do you mean funny?
	DON
Nothing important, just a 
little miss.
	SUSAN
I should have married 
Bill, he has lots of 
cars.
	DON
Well, at least you got 
the one with the Air 
Conditioning.
INT.  CAFE. NIGHT
Don, Mike, Marla, Bill and Jerrie are at the table.
	DON
Suzie can't make it 
tonight.  That new job is 
killing us both.  I 
swear, the only thing 
keeping us together is 
the fact we don't see 
each other anymore.
	MIKE
Its been a rough week for 
averyone, I guess.  The 
heat is deadly.
	BILL
I'm glad the work week is 
over, but this heat will 
go on all weekend 
according to the 
weatherman.
	MARLA
I think Don has lapsed 
into his famous "I'm 
thinking mode." 
Ed and Saundra enter.
Don is daydreaming, Marla reaches over and shakes him.
	MARLA
What are you dreaming 
about this time?
	DON
Well, if you must know, I 
was thinking about 
robbing a bank.
	ED
This is the third or 
fourth week in a row that 
you have brought up the 
subject of robbing a 
bank.  Do you have 
something planned or are 
you just trying to be 
funny?
	DON
I'm seriously thinking 
about just that, Ed
A stunned silence settles over the table.
	ED
You really mean it?
	DON
Its a satisfying thought.
	ED
Don, you are the one 
person here with the 
least to complain about 
financially.
	DON
Its not financially that 
I am complaining about, 
Ed, its just all the 
frustrations of life in 
general.
	ED
Money won't fix those.
	DON
Maybe not, but a great 
deal of money might and I 
don't think I'll win the 
lottery soon.
	ED
I have always said that 
crime does not pay 
because the people who 
are smart enough to make 
it pay are smart enough 
to know they wont get 
away with it.
		MARLA
That's a contradiction.  
If you are smart enough 
to make it pay, then you 
are smart enough to get 
away with it.
		DON
Does that mean you might 
be interested?
		ED
Maybe.
		BILL
Not me, but I'll listen.
		DON
Not here, and not without 
Susan being present.
		ED
It has to be 'all for one 
and one for all'  or it 
wont work.  
		DON
And anyway, we need to be 
somewhere else besides in 
this restaurant to talk 
about this.
		ED
Lets have dinner at my 
place next Friday. Okay?
INT. TRAVEL AGENCY.  DAY
Mike and Marla are sitting alone at a desk
		MIKE
You know, Don might have 
an idea there with his 
bank robery.
		MARLA
Thats crap, Mike.  You 
know we cant do that.
		MIKE
Well, what are we gonna 
do if that suit aginst us 
succeeds?
		MARLA
How can it, it wasnt our 
fault that the ship 
burned?
		MIKE
Thats not the point in 
law.  They dont care 
whose fault it is 
anymore, just follow the 
game plan and screw 
someone.
		MARLA
We could win.
		MIKE
Even if we win we lose.  
The cost of fighting the 
suit will bankrupt the 
agency.
		MARLA
Do you realy think so?
		MIKE
If we win we wont get any 
lawyers fees unless we 
counter sue and our 
lawyer wont try to do 
that.  The insurance 
company pays him.
INT. DONS BEDROOM. NIGHT
Don and Susan are getting dressed to go out.
	
		SUSAN
Why are we going to Ed's 
for dinner?  We have been 
going to the China Vase 
for years.
  
		DON
Well, Ed is out of work 
and so last week, we 
agreed that to save money 
Mike and Marla would cook 
a Chinese dinner at Ed's 
house and we could all 
share the grocery 
expense.
		SUSAN
If it turns out well, 
maybe we could try 
rotating from house to 
house and doing it 
ourselves from now on. 
		DON
None of us likes to cook, 
so that way each couple 
would only have to cook 
once a month!
INT.  DONS CAR.  NIGHT
Don and Susan drive into Eds driveway.
		SUSAN
I thought Mike and Marla 
were going to cook 
tonight.  I don't see 
their car
		DON
Maybe they are cooking it 
at home and then bringing 
it over here?	
Don and Susan park the car and go to the door.  They are 
met by Saundra who lets them in.  
INT. EDS LIVINGROOM. NIGHT
The entire group is present except for Mike and Marla
	SAUNDRA
Well, what do you think, 
Susan?  Do you think it 
will work?  Are you ready 
to retire?
	SUSAN
What are you talking 
about?  Will what work?
	ED
Don, didn't you tell her 
why we were meeting here 
tonight?  Didn't you tell 
her we were going to rob 
a bank?
	SUSAN  
What?  You guys are 
kidding.  What is this 
really all about?  I know 
its not my birthday. 
What's the surprise party 
all about?
	DON
I didn't want to tell you 
until we were all 
together so the others 
could help me convince 
you.  Last week we 
started talking seriously 
about robbing a bank.
	SUSAN
Don, you are as mad as a 
hatter.  What is this all 
about?  You didn't talk 
all these people into 
some crazy idea did you?
	DON
You'll like the idea, 
Suzie.
	SUSAN
Don, this just isn't 
right, you couldn't have 
involved all these 
innocent friends of ours 
in such a ridiculous 
adventure as this?
	DON
No ones involved in 
anything yet.
	SUSAN
You wouldn't do this 
would you?
	ED
Lets get some dinner in 
our bellies before we 
talk any more about this
	SUSAN
I don't think I'm hungry
	DON
Come on, we don't have to 
make any decisions now, 
Its not cast in concrete. 
Lets eat and we can 
discuss it later.
EXT.  EDS PATIO.  LATER 
	SUSAN
When?
	ED
When, what
	SUSAN
When are we going to rob 
that bank?  What bank are 
we going to rob?
	DON
I have been thinking 
about this and there are 
several real easy ways to 
do it.  But the main 
thing is not getting 
caught.  
	BILL
Now theres the man we 
need for a leader.  Yeah, 
dont get caught.
	DON
You see, most bank 
robbers complete the 
robbery part of the job 
and get away scott free.  
Its later that they get 
caught because of 
something they did, or 
left undone.
	BILL
I told you, the guys a 
genius.  They get caught 
because of something they 
did or something they 
didnt do.  I tell you 
that's genius.
	DON
Cummon, Bill, give me a 
chance.  Okey?
	ED
Yeah, Bill, let him 
finish.
	DON
The 'left undone' 
category usually has to 
do with the original 
planning, and the 'did' 
category usually has to 
do with after the 
successful robbery.
	ED 
Do you have a list of 
do's and don'ts?
	DON
I have a small list, and 
I expect you guys to help 
me to expand it.
	ED
We're still listening.
	DON	
We will plan this thing 
for at least a month.  
Most bank robberies are 
spur of the moment 
things, and that is one 
of the big reason that 
they fail.
	SUSAN
We may not plan it at all 
if I have anything to say 
about it.  This is crazy.
	DON
We want this one to be 
perfect, because you 
don't want to have to do 
it again.  That is a 
second reason bank 
robbers get caught.
Mike and Marla enter.
	MIKE
Sorry we're late, we got 
stoped for speeding on 
the way over here.
	SUSAN
This is an omen.  Lets 
forget the whole thing.
	MIKE
Hey, I wasnt speeding and 
I talked him out of the 
ticket.
	SUSAN
Then maybe you could talk 
the bank out of the money 
and we could forget the 
robbery.
	DON
Anyone want to hear the 
rest of this?
	ED
I do.
Everyone sits down.
	DON
Most robbers only net a 
couple of thousand 
dollars, so a month later 
they have to do it again.  
Every time they repeat 
the job, they increase 
their risk of capture.
	ED
I couldn't do it more 
than once from a 
psycological standpoint.
	SAUNDRA
Sometimes he cant do it 
once.
Laughter from all the group but Don.
	DON
We are only going to do 
it once.  That's why I'm 
calling it 'the Quickie'.  
It has to be right, and 
it has to net us at least 
a million each. 
	MIKE
Thats eight million.  Why 
a million each.
	DON
Because thats what I 
figured I wanted.  If we 
accept less, we won't be 
able to do what we want 
to do unless we commit 
multiple robberies, and I 
am not willing to do more 
than one.
	ED
It will be hard enough to 
plan one perfect crime. 
Too many unpredictables 
to try for two.	
	MIKE
What do you mean, 
"unpredictables."	
	ED
Its allot like writing a 
computer program.  You 
can never be sure what 
the idiot at the keyboard 
will do
	DON
Thats right, so first you 
tell him what to do, then 
you check to see what he 
did.  If he didn't do 
what he was supposed to 
do, you chastise him, 
stop what he did from 
damaging the data, then 
ask him again to give the 
correct response.
	ED
When you hear of 'buggy' 
software, it's usually 
caused by a programmer 
who forgot to check for 
improper responses, and 
the program crashes.
	DON
That's right, we will 
each have a job, and each 
of us will have to do his 
job.
	ED
If one person fails we 
will have built in traps 
to catch the error and 
prevent it from causing 
failure.  
	DON
I have thought about our 
talents during the past 
week and I have come up 
with some assignments.  
	ED
Did you decide who was 
the leader of this gang?
	DON
We can only have one 
leader, and I'm it.  
Anyone have any problems 
with that?
	BILL
No.  Does that mean you 
go to jail if it fails?
	MARLA
You have the plan, so you 
are the man.
	DON
It has to be that way to 
avoid confusion.  
	ED
I think we should all 
vote on crucial parts of 
the plan, and we will all 
make contributions to the 
plan, but in the end. 
Dons the leader
	DON
I will make any absolute 
decisions that have to be 
made.  
	BILL
Okey, for now, until I 
decide if I am in or not.
	DON
Now, because I am a 
medical doctor, my main 
responsibility will be to 
prevent any injuries from 
becoming serious, and to 
make sure none of us has 
to resort to a hospital.  
	SUSAN
Look, you are loosing me 
now.  If this may cause 
injurys I'm out. ... And 
so are you, Don.
	DON
You would be surprised at 
how many crimes are 
solved because a 
participant in the crime 
was injured and then had 
to resort to using 
outside help to save his 
life.  I will be our 
'life saver'.
	SAUNDRA
You mean one of us might 
get shot?
	DON  
Well, I was trying to 
avoid that exact wording, 
but yes, Sandra, one of 
us might get shot.
	ED
I don't think the odds of 
that are very good if we 
do a good job of 
planning, but we should 
accept that possibility, 
and plan for it.
	DON
Susan is a nurse, so she 
will be my back up, or 
perhaps be the first line 
of defense in case I am 
not on the spot, like a 
'medic'.
	SUSAN
We're not sure I'm going 
to be there yet.
	DON
She could stabilize a 
situation until I could 
get there.  
	JERRIE
How do you plan on using 
a book store cleark and 
bookkeeper?
	DON
Jerrie, you're a teacher, 
and have done allot of 
research, so you will be 
our 'book worm'.
	JERRIE
To start with I dont like 
being called a worm.
	DON
Your job will be to find 
out all the details we 
need during the planning 
stages, and Bill will be 
your back up and 'source' 
since you'll be able to 
get a hold of any books.
	MARLA
And I suppose Mike and I 
will plan the getaway.
Marla laughs.
	DON
Yes, seriously, you and 
Mike will be in charge of 
all transportation, from 
get away to international 
travel to leave the 
country.
	SUSAN
Leave the country?  Why 
are we going to do that?
	DON
Even if its a perfect 
crime we dont want to 
stay here.  You dont want 
to pay income tax on it 
do you?
	MARLA
I saw a book in a 
magazine that tells you 
how to get fake 
passports.
	DON
Okey, you can be in 
charge of that, Mike, you 
are 'transportation' and 
Marla, you are 'papers'.
	ED
So I guess I am in charge 
of aircraft 
countermeasures.  Thats 
what I have been doing 
for the past 17 years.
	DON
Ed is an 'engineer', he 
will handle all the dirty 
tricks, electronics, 
mechanical, locks, and 
other such stuff.
	SAUNDRA
I guess my training as a 
legal seceretary makes me 
a natural for contacting 
the lawyer who is going 
to bail us out if this 
thing fails.
	DON
It isnt going to fail.
	SAUNDRA
Then I guess I dont have 
a job.  Thats Okey by me.
	DON
You will handle all our 
legal needs.  This will 
include 'protocol' for 
entering the bank at the 
right time, any necessary 
access to any office, or 
facility along the way, 
not just the bank. 
	ED
Now we know what we will 
do, just what will we do.
	DON
Did you all notice that 
each of you has a code 
name?
	BILL
I guess I wasn't 
listening, what's mine?
	DON
 Bill, you are Source,  
Jerrie you are Bookworm, 
Marla, you are Papers, 
Mike is Transportation,  
Ed is Engineer, Sandra is 
Protocol, Susan is Medic, 
and I am Lifesaver.
	ED  
Yeah, but why?
	DON
Because from now on out, 
during our planning 
sessions we will use our 
nick names.  This way, if 
we are overheard, no one 
will know who we are.
	BILL
You've read too many spy 
novels.  Why not mix up 
the names so they wont 
know what we are doing 
either.
	SUSAN
That would be nice, 
because you don't know 
what you are doing.
	DON
Trust me, give it a try.
	ED
Sounds Mickey Mouse to 
me, but I'll give it a 
try.
	DON
We will start with a 
skeleton of the job, and 
then flesh it out until 
we have a complete 
turkey.
	MARLA
I think that might be an 
unfortunate choice of 
words.  Maybe you should 
use some other simile.
	MIKE
Do we have a 'target' 
picked out for this 
turkey shoot, or are we 
just going to do a drive 
by bank robbery, sort of 
target of opportunity?
All but Don laughed at the joke.
	DON
I am not sure you are all 
taking this thing 
seriously enough. If you 
think that this is just a 
lark, we better stop 
right now.
	ED
Okey, Dons right.  This 
is a real serious 
business, and if we don't 
treat it that way, we 
will fail, and all end in 
jail.
	DON
Papers, to answer your 
question, we will have to 
research carefully till 
we find just the right 
bank.
	JERRIE
And I guess thats my job 
right? 
	DON
Right. It will take 
research.  Bookworm, 
thats your job. 
	ED
I want to work with 
Jerrie at first, because 
the ease of the job will 
be determined by which 
bank we chose.
	DON
You didnt use her code 
name!
	ED  
Its not easy to remember 
these names.   I've 
watched allot of MISSION 
IMPOSSIBLE, I dont 
remember seeing them do 
that.
	SUSAN
Don, I better not have 
anything to do.
	DON
Medic, you have forgotten 
to use my code name.  It 
may be dangerous to your 
own husbands health if 
you continue to identify 
me that way.
	SUSAN
I think the names are 
silly.
	DON
Look, I promise you that 
we will do everything to 
prevent bloodshed.  We 
aren't even going to have 
guns.
 	SUSAN
You better work this out 
so there is zero physical 
risk.  If anyone gets 
hurt I will feel like its 
my fault because I was 
the last one to agree.
	JERRIE
Well, I for one need some 
more of that bar-b-que.
Jerrie walks across the patio to the kitchen.
	JERRIE
I would like to nominate 
Ed and Sandra as 'cook' 
for the duration.
	ED
After years of Chineese 
on Friday nights, bar-b-
que would be a nice 
change.
	BILL
I'll vote for that, Lone 
Star Beer and bar-b-que.
INT.  CAFE.  NIGHT A WEEK LATER
The conspiritors are sitting At their regular table.  
	DON
How's the research 
project coming, Jerrie?
	JERRIE
Its far from finished.  
Its going to take a least 
another two weeks, and if 
Ed doesn't stop 
interfering, I may never 
get done.  
	
	ED
Hey, I am not 
interfering, I am just 
pointing out the faults 
with certain, uh.. uh.. 
clients.
	DON
Don't get loud, Ed,  I 
was just trying to get a 
feel for where we were. 
	ED
We're nowhere as far as I 
can tell.
	DON
Look, this project will 
take about a year to 
complete, and we all need 
to get along during that 
year better than we have 
for the past 7 years.  
	ED
Well, Jerrie keeps 
comming up with crap.
	DON
Ed, I know you are under
alot of