A cowboy had been caught by some Indians and was about to be executed when they asked him for any last request. So he walked over to his horse and whispered something in its ear. The horse took off madly over the hills and then came right back with a beautiful naked blonde on its back.
The cowboy took the blonde to a teepee and had sex. Then he came back out and requested another talk with his horse. The Indians, amazed, agreed again. So the cowboy walked over to the horse and whispered in his ear again.
The horse took off and then came back with a beatiful naked redhead. He takes her into another teepee and has sex with her. He comes out and once more asked to talk to his horse.
The Indians once more agreed. So he walked over to the horse and whispered something else into its ear. The horse took off and then came right back with a beautiful naked brunette on its back. The cowboy took the brunette to a teepee and had sex.
Then he came back out and requested another talk with his horse. The Indians, totally amazed by this point, agreed again. So the cowboy walks over to the horse and says, "I'm only going to do this once more, now read my lips, 'posse'"!

A huge muscular man walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender hands him the beer and says, "You know, I'm not gay but I want to compliment you on your physique, it really is phenomenal! I have a question though, why is your head so small?"
The big guy nods slowly. He's obviously fielded this question many times. "One day," he begins, "I was hunting when I got lost in the woods. I heard someone crying for help and finally realized that it was coming from a frog sitting next to a stream.
So I picked up the frog and it said, "Kiss me. Kiss me and I will turn into a genie and grant you 3 wishes." So I looked around to make sure I was alone and gave the frog a kiss. POOF! The frog turned into a beautiful, voluptuous, naked woman.
She said, "You now have 3 wishes." I looked down at my scrawny 115 pound body and said, "I want a body like Arnold Schwarzenneger." She nodded, whispered a spell, and POOF! there I was, so huge that I ripped out of my clothes and was standing there naked!
She then asked, "What will be your second wish?" I looked hungrily at her beautiful body and replied, "I want to make sensuous love with you here by this stream." She nodded, laid down, and beckoned to me. "We then made love for hours!"
Later, as we lay there next to each other, sweating from our glorious lovemaking, she whispered into my ear, "You know, you do have one more wish. What will it be?" I looked at her and replied, "How about a little head?"

Why do bald men have holes in their pockets?
So they can run their hands through hair!

A little boy was walking down the street and he found a condom, which he thought was a "twinkie" He picked it up. A second or two later a teenage boy ran up to him and said,"I'll give ya a buck for that thang in your hand!"
The little boy quickly obliged. When he got home he asked his mom to take him to the store because he had money. His mom asked him where he got the money. He said: "I found a twinkie and sold it to a boy, but I got the best of the deal. I had already sucked the cream filling out of it!"

At an art exhibition there was a painting of three very naked, and very black men, sitting on a park bench. What was unusual was that the men on both ends of the bench had black penises, but the man in the middle had a very pink penis. A man and a woman were standing there, staring at the picture, scratching their heads and trying to figure this out.
The artist walked by and noticed the couple's confusion. "Can I help you with this painting?" he asked. "Well, yes" said the gentleman. "We were curious about the picture of black men on the bench. Why does the man in the middle have a pink penis?"
"Oh," said the artist. "I'm afraid you've misunderstood the painting. The three men are not Africans, they're coal miners, and the fellow in the middle went home for lunch."

Cinderella wants to go to the ball, but her wicked stepmother won't let her. As Cinderella sits crying in the garden, her fairy godmother appears, and promises to provide Cinderella with everything she needs to go to the ball, but only on two conditions.
"First, you must wear a diaphragm." Cinderella agrees. "What's the second condition?" "You must be home by 2 a.m. Any later, and your diaphragm will turn into a pumpkin." Cinderella --agrees to be home by 2. a.m.
The appointed hour comes and goes, and Cinderella doesn't show up. Finally, at 5 a.m., Cinderella shows up, looking love-struck and "very" satisfied.
"Where have you been?" demands the fairy godmother. "Your diaphragm was supposed to turn into a pumpkin three hours ago!!!"
"I met a prince, Fairy Godmother. He took care of everything."
"I know of no prince with that kind of power! What was his name?" "I can't remember, exactly ... Peter Peter, something or other...."

What do you call a hooker with a runny nose?
Full!

What do you call a 300 pound woman with a yeast infection?
A whopper with cheese!

Why don't cannibals eat clowns?
They taste funny!

Question: What's the similarity between brussel sprouts and pubic hair?
Answer: You push them aside and keep on eating!

This page has been visited times September 3, 1998