The Great Flatulent Chicken!!

The Chicken With A Lot Of Gas

A Word From The Great Flatulent Chicken...

Hello! (fart!) oops! Pardon me, (fart!), whoops, excuse me. I am the Great (fart!) oh, pardon me, the Great Flatulent (fart!) sorry! The Great Flatulent Chi... (fart!) Chick... (fart!!) Chicken!! (FFFFAAARRRTTT!!!) Oops, pardon me. I would just like to say (fart!) that (fart!fart!fart!fart!fart!fart!)

BOOM! SPLAT! SPLOIK!


...

I'm sorry, but the Great Flatulent Chicken has just fallen dead.

The Chicken is Dead, Long Live the Chicken.

Yes, the Great Flatulent Chicken has died. It is a tragic day to us all. Apparently, he died after realising that chicken's are biologically incapable of farting, because if their body needed to fart they would infact explode. As a result, his whole family of Flatulent Chickens found out the truth shortly after his death, and the only thing that could be heard at the Great Flatulent Chicken's funeral was...

Fart! BOOM! Fart! BOOM! Ffft...! KEBABOOM!!!!

So ends the life of the Great Flatulent Chicken...hang on a minute. Why should I care? I can fart. (FART!) See? Hahahaha!! Chickens can't fart, nanananana...(fart!!) I can fart! I can...

BOOM!


...
We apologise for that, unfortunately, the commentator has just exploded, because he thought he was a chicken whilst farting.

Proffesor Dave Dexter from 'The Fast Show'

We took four chickens, and fed them each, a lifetimes supply of Coca Cola, made slightly gassier than usual. We wanted to see wether or not, they could fart without exploding...

F...ff...t..t..BOOM!!!
Fr..rr...tt..BOOM!
Fffffffffaaaaaaaarrrrrrrtttttt!!!...BOOOOOOOOM!!!!
Fot!...BOOM!

...no.
No? No? Back in my time, chickens could fart! It was the men who couldn't! Or babies, they could never fart without exploding. Sometimes, a baby would fart whilst still in the mothers stomach, and that was what we called a miscarriage.
Miscarriage? Marriage! Marry a woman! Or a man! Marry a man? Gay! Whoopee! Whoopee! Gay, gay, you are gay, you bum people everyday! Eww...
Dear sir,
I would like to complain about the above, as it is a load of nonsense.

THUD.

Argh...A ten ton boulder has just landed on my head. Ouch...
Okay, okay, so the above may be slightly ludicrous...

Who gives a rats ass!!

Aku dah bosan! Aku dah bosan! Ley gom gom ye ah!! Kwai Lo! Nenek moyang! Ho yeah! Anak cucu gembala! Je suis un poulet, avec beacoup des poubelles! Alamak, apa ini!?!?!?!

I bet those who don't understand the above are really pissed off.

Who wants a toilet flush?

News at ten with Trevor McDonald. BONG!!! Who wants a toilet flush?
I do! I do! I do! Shout the masses, as a large monkey from the planet Gabra lands on the citizens of Jamaica.
Then, Bob Marleys soul comes back to life and plays 'Could you be loved'. The monkey starts doing the butterfly.
None of this makes sense, does it?

...

Who cares...GUNJIGUNJIGUNJIGUNJIGUNJI

I can't be bothered to do this anymore. I wanted to be a gynacologist. Yes, a GYNACOLOGIST! Leaping from bottom to bottom! Sticking my hand up ounces upon ounces of muscle and fat!!

(sings)
I want to be a gynacologist, Oh yes I do, There's nothing more fun than an a hand up someones bum, With no gloves to protect you from poo.

TO BE CONTINUED...

We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming