AAPW HOMEMORE FUNNY STUFF
Capitalism: He who dies with the most toys, wins.
Hari Krishna: He who plays with the most toys wins.
Judaism: He who buys toys at the lowest price wins.
Catholicism: He who denies himself the most toys wins.
Anglican: They were our toys first.
Greek Orthodox: No, they were OURS first.
Branch Davidians: He who dies playing with the biggest toys wins.
Atheism: There is no toy maker.
Islam: You must force the world to play with this exact toy, other toys are forbidden.
Polytheism: There are many toy makers.
Evolutionism: The toys made themselves.
Church of Christ, Scientist: We are the toys.
Communism: Everyone gets the same number of toys, and you go straight to the opposite of heaven if we catch you selling yours.
Amish: Toys with batteries are surely a sin.
Taoism: The doll is as important as the dumptruck.
Mormonism: Every boy may have as many toys as he wants.
Voodoo: Let me borrow that doll for a second...
Jehova's Witnesses: He who places the most toys door to door wins.
Pentacostalism: He whose toys can talk wins.
Existentialism: Toys are a figment of your imagination.
Confucianism: Once a toy is dipped in water, it is no longer dry.
Non-denominationalism: We don't care where the toys came from, let's just play!
A: She thought the rede said "Chew what you will, but ham?--none."
Did you hear about the dyslexic devil worshipper? He sold his soul to Santa...
Or what about the dyslexic, agnostic insomniac, who stayed awake all night wondering if there is a Dog....
Confucius say: "Man who farts in church sits in his own pew."
Confucius say: "Man who stands on toilet is high on pot."
How many Druids does it take to screw in a light bulb? Druids don't screw in light bulbs, they screw in stone circles.
How many witches does it take to screw in a light bulb? $, one for each direction.
How many New Agers does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, they will meditate on their crystals until light radiates from them.
Did you hear Easter is cancelled this year?? They found the body...
The best thing about Pagan friends: They worship the ground you walk on!
"I'm not Suffering From Insanity! I'm Enjoying Every Minute of It!"
"Jesus Is Coming! Look Busy!"
"If Ignorance is Bliss, Why aren't More People Happy?"
"God! Save Me From Your Followers!"
"Jesus Saves! By Using Double Coupons and shopping Wisely."
"I Believe In Dragons, Good Men, & Other Fantasy Creatures."