Stage Door Tips for Veterans and Beginners
I have spent a fair amount of my time at shows and, of course, at stage doors. Having racked up quite a few experiences I thought it would be nice if I shared with you all a few tips that are garunteed to make your next trip to the stage door a memorable one.

- Always stage door in groups. You will not be as scared of doing something foolish if you have the support of friends. They also come in handy for snapping pictures, or examining non-working cameras while you wait with your favourite actors arm firmly around you.

- Wait patiently. Sometimes the actors have things to do, and of course they have to change and get out of wigs/make-up depending on the show. (If anxious the performer left without your knowing feel free to ask other performers if he/she is still inside. You may want to stumblingly add that the "outside performer" was very good, and no offense, but you don't really care.)

- Once the performer you are waiting for appears get his/her attention by calling his/her name, waving, or jumping a police barricade.

- When you have the performer's attention make eye contact. It makes you look confident and non-groupie like.

- After eye contact is made open mouth and insert foot.

- Get your things signed and a picture if you like. If you have something to give the performer (i.e.- bootleg, picture, gift, et al.) be sure to explain it and it's purpose. Be sure to thoroughly confuse them by asking if they are morally opposed to said gift before flourishing it.

- It should not take you long to convince the admired actor that you are an inarticulate, uneducated moron. When you have accomplished this wish your new friend the best of luck and say goodbye.

- Now proceed to remove foot from mouth and kick yourself forcefully with it.

- Repeat as needed.


Remember these tips need not apply if you are relatively familiar with the performer, or they seem to enjoy your antics.


Remember, friends, that actors are just regular people, no matter how talented or beautiful. And don't be distressed if you make yourself look foolish. Chances are you will not be remembered! You can always study these tips and make a better impression next time. If all else fails yell "BUNTROCK!" You are garunteed a pleasant stage door experience, whether the performer is BUNTROCK! or not.