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Release the hounds! On to my next link!

Sadly, I was hardly even able to celebrate his fifth birthday on July 15th. You see, I forgot until late that night that it was his birthday. But I told him happy birthday anyways.

That day my boyfriend dumped me. The boyfriend I cared about more than any other guy I ever had (in the romantic sense). Now Arden's going out with an ex-druggee friend of mine. Honestly, I can tell you that I am not over Arden. I have liked him since about last August.. It shall probably take me a while to get over him. We were supposedly going out for almost four months to the day.

What I realized recently is how much I love my cat. His name is Kami Kazi. I got him when he was 6 months old. I have always had animals around in my life, besides 2 weeks when my mom was mourning over the loss of her manx cat when I was in either Kindergarten, or Pre-Kindergarten, or before I was in school. Anyways, Kami Kazi is the SWEETEST most INTELLIGENT cat I have ever met in my life. He understands probably more than I even think he can understand. He remembers. If any animal I've known has a soul, it is that cat (He thinks I'm his mother.). I think he trusts me more than I've ever trusted anybody in my whole life. The picture below looks a lot like he did when he was a kitten. He was probably a lighter red, though, because he has turned into a cream-colored persian. Also, his eyes are not of the color that are indicated in the picture. Kami Kazi's eyes are large owl-like copper-colored eyes, which keep track of everything in his surroundings. He has ulcers inside his mouth, on both sides, unfortunately, and every couple of months I have to drag him into the vet's office to get a shot that will make him better, and make him able to eat for a couple of months before the sores open up again and start to bleed. It's really sad.. but I love him, and I can't put him to sleep, especially when he's so alive, and so animated, and so full of life. He keeps me going.. If I can find a human guy who is so wonderful as my cat and so loving and trusting and so amusing.. and so caring I would marry him on the spot. Until then.. I shall trudge through the world, looking for a serious boyfriend who won't dump me on my cat's birthday.. and I shall take care of my little Fuzzbuster.. especially when he's sick. By the way, my family owns another cat named Figaro.. We also have a dalmatian named Sam McGee and a H U G E H U G E H U G E suckerfish named Curly and a goldfish with blue eyes who is named Muhammid Ali (Ali is the same size as Curly).

But let me get back on task with my feelings.

Recently, it’s been almost like Kazi's dying.. Why do I get this feeling or this voice in my head saying that Kazi's dying? If someone asked me what being on this earth I love with completely devoted unconditional love, I'd automatically respond: Kami Kazi.

What would I do without Kazi? I don't know.. a huge chunk out of my heart has been taken out when one of my best friends (who just happened to be my boyfriend) dumped me.. If it happened to me now, I'd go completely downhill.. I would burst out crying for no reason whatsoever during school and no one would understand. He's my baby. He is so much of my life. No one would understand. No one does. I would feed that cat before I would feed myself if he would eat right now. Some people would laugh. He's my best friend. Or at least, he was my first true best friend that I've ever had. He is so much a part of my being, and this is either love, or it's devotion. You choose. No one'll understand, so try if you want to or just forget it. He's more true.. more human than anyone I know. He understands me better than any other being on the face of the planet. He sees right through me. He sees what I cannot. He knows me better than I ever have, and more than I ever will. I don't know how I could live with him dying!

Of course I wouldn't kill myself. I don't believe in suicide. It's wrong. Ayn Rand, (the brilliant author) had a character in the book "Fountainhead" which I have learned exactly the proper time when a person is ready for suicice.

The only time it would be alright to kill yourself is under these circumstances: If you can sit down with a gun in your hand, point it at your head (making sure the safety's off, and your finger's on the trigger), and not feel any emotion whatsoever, no glimmer of fear, no scent of remorse, no microscopic hint AT ALL of any emotion, happiness, longing, or anything. When you don’t feel anything, then you’re ready for suicide. It’s the simple truth of it all. There is no person except for maybe 2-3 people I know that can actually say that to me. And when you’re at the point, you know what, you still don’t want to die. Only at that point would the idea come to me, but even if I was there, I have so much I can do for people.. I couldn’t do it, because there are people out there still left there that I can help. I can do something out there.. there is still someone left in the world to help. There is still someone else's soul I can touch. I can still make a difference. And whatever doesn't kill me will only make me stronger. I'll take a lot of crap.. And I'm not perfect, I'll probably deal some, but through it all I shall try my best to be as good a person on the outside as I know I am on the inside.. maybe better, because I sometimes get some really funky ideas I wouldn't divulge to ANYONE.

Why aren't I really worrying about what I'm writing down here? First of all, if people can't accept me for all my zany quirks and all, then they can go somewhere else.. get on with their lives. If they don't like what I'm trying to do, if they don't like me trying to make a point, and make a difference for those people in the world who aren't happy with how people are treating them, then the people can leave, or they can make me a martyr. Oh and besides that, let me see... let me see.. uh.. there are over 7 billion people on the planet and none of them can truly track me down, because none but a few select friends of mine have net access and are familiar enough with my personality to look for stuff on the internet about me.. etc., etc., etc.,.

I'm not worried, because whatever happens will happen. Right now, in these web pages I am being more honest and I'm being more true to myself than.. than *l* I think I ever have! Go figure! *chuckles* Ah well.. I love you all. Have a merry Hanukkah (?did I spell that right?) and a happy Christmas, and don't forget to have a Jolly Kwanzaa and many many many many more.. even though it is almost August. No.. just kidding, but do have a lovely holidays when they do come, and have a great day every day.. try to.. for my sake.. FOR YOUR SAKE! FOR YOUR SANITY'S SAKE! OR FOR YOUR INSANITY'S SAKE! Ah yes, and please try not to take me more seriously than I do. I'm a goofy person, but I am honest. I try my hardest not to lie.. Lies only complicate lives, I have discovered. Guess it was a smart commandment, eh? Oh well.. I'm really going now.. and don't forget to check out my other sites! They're more of my rehearsed insanity.. strangely logical that it is. And it's all honest insanity. (I call everything I do insanity, even if every single one of it is sanity, so don't worry)

W A I T !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! STOP! CEASE AND DESIST! I HAVE A MESSAGE BEFORE YOU LEAVE!

Oh pheww.. I stopped you.

I shall now sing lyrics to a song I don't know the title to and I don't know the band who sings it but it's lyrics are so true to my life. No wait, I recently figured out what the song is and who it's by. It's "All for you" by Sister Hazel. Anyways the song copyrights are all to them, so I have no responsibility, etc., etc., about it; I was merely quoting them.

"It's hard to say what is I see in you Wonder if I'll always be with you Words can't say and I can't do enough to prove It's all for you.."

Now.. SHOO! Go see me other pages, eh? Cause Life is a highway and I wanna ride it all night long.. it's a long long ride on this rollercoaster.. it's got lots of bends... people driving on the wrong side of the road.. student ed cars almost crashing because they're student ed teachers trying to help out at the wrong time... lots of potholes.. lots of thrills.. you might as well enjoy the ride because there's lots of gutters.. lots of bad drivers.. lots of curbs.. and a lot of construction on the wrong parts of town.. construction will probably never do something intelligent and clean up the right part of town.. until you tell yourself you shall do something stupid if they will do something logical.. then they'll do it about three weeks or two years later and you'll have to do something stupid because what you promise you don't break because you're an honest person and.. Life's uncomfortable! Get over it! Life is a b@#$^& and then you die, so don't go chasing butterflies, please stick to the Lizards <(me!) and the gizards <(not me) you're used to.. I know that there's plenty of wildlife left running in the world, but they're always running too fast but life is like a box of chocolates... you never know how long it's going to last! And life is like a lemon. Sometimes it's wet and squishy and sour and sometimes it gets lemon-juice all over your shirt, but remember if life gives you lemons, just make lemonade.. and splash it into life's face as revenge!!!!!! So, C'est la vie! SEIZE THE DAY! B-bye now.. Byyyyyyyyyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...............

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

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P.S. NEVER FORGET YOUR TOWEL!

P.P.S. IF ANY PERSON HAS INFORMATION THAT THEY COULD PROVIDE ABOUT WHY MY CAT WAS NAMED WHAT HE IS, PLEASE DO SO INFORM ME. IF YOU DON'T WISH TO E-MAIL ME, I HAVE A PLACE YOU CAN DROP ME A LINE WHERE YOU WON'T EVEN HAVE TO LEAVE A E-MAIL OR ANYTHING AT: http://wwp.mirabilis.com/2530164 or http://wwp.mirabilis.com/2632812. Or, if you have an icq account, you can write me; I have two users: One is Airplane-Lady and the other’s LadyHitchhiker. ICQ is really kuwel and really is a lot easier to get in contact with people, as long as they have icq on.. it's kinda like an online beeper.

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED BY THE AUTHOR FOR THE TEXT ON THIS WEB PAGE OTHER THAN THE BORROWED LYRICS.

© Copyright, Liz Young AKA Stoney Crazy Rockofeller-Hendrix, 1997