The
Goth Workout Exercises:
1.Cardio/ Vascular
2.Squats
3.
Side Leg
Lifts
4.Calf Raises
5.Push Ups
6.Crunches
7.Pelvic Tilts
8.
Shoulder
Circles
Dietary Tips
Words of Encouragement
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The Goth
Workout |
BECAUSE LET'S FACE IT: GYMS
ARE NOT GOTH
I shall be the first to admit that this sounds
like a cheesy idea, but noticing the increasing
number of tubby-goths out there, it is not so
bad. I feel it is my duty as a health conscious
human being to bring this useful list of
exercises, carefully fine tuned to the needs of
the non-waify goth, onto the web. I have included
a few dietary tips to slimming down without
taking crank, and a blurb about the benefits of
muscle tone over the starved look.
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*Before
starting any exercise routine, remember to
consult a physician. Also, remember to always
warm up with some aerobic activity before
stretching and finish with some light
stretching.*
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CARDIOVASCULAR:
benefits include improving your heart and lungs(you can
run longer, and clear all that gunk out of your
lungs from smokin cloves);
reducing fat, increasing metabolism (means the
more you do them the faster you will lose
weight).
Move!! Do anything that will keep your heart rate
up for a minimum of twenty minutes. Allow for an
additional five minutes warm up and five minutes
cool down. You can do pretty much anything. I
enjoy riding my bike, but doing anything for the
duration of about two Sisters of Mercy songs
should do it. Make sure, though, that you are
moving enough to raise your heart rate. faster
songs are better than slow, to exercise to. Don't
take too many breaks, and if you do, be sure
you've kept your heart rate up.
To calculate where your heart rate should be for
the twenty minutes, use the following equations.
(If you don't know your resting heart rate,
simply eliminate it from the equation):
1.) 220 - age - resting heart rate = heart rate
reserve
2.) (heart rate reserve x .5 (lower tone) or .85
(higher tone) + resting heart rate = zone
*For exercises
2-7, start with 1 set of 10 repetitions,
gradually increasing sets and reps as able.* [Back to Top]
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SQUATS:
thighs-front and back
Stand with feet shoulder width apart and toes
pointing forward, keeping weight on heels, bend
legs until knees are at 90 angles. Raise arms and
lean forward as necessary to keep weight over
heels. At all times, shoulders should remain over
ankles. Lower and raise for one complete
repetition.
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SIDE LEG LIFTS:
outer hips & thighs
Lie on side. Support upper body either on elbow
or lie flat. Keeping hips steady and
perpendicular to the ground, raise upper leg as
high as possible. Do not twist or rotate hips.
Return to starting position and repeat at a slow,
controlled speed.
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CALF
RAISES: calves (This exercise is especially helpful
if you tend to wear high heeled boots as it
stretches the muscles and tendons that get all
bunched up. )
Stand on the
edge of a ledge (street curbs work well, and you
can do it any time if you're bored on the street)
with only the balls of the feet on the ledge.
Allow heels to drop slightly. Raise heels as high
as possible, keeping knees straight.
If the stretch is too much when standing you're
on a ledge, you can perform this exercise on a
flat surface.
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to Top]
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PUSH UPS: chest
and back of arms (keeps you from getting that flabby
look on your arms that isn't attractive in any
subculture. Also prevents saggy breasts.)
Start on your
knees with your hands slightly wider than
shoulder width on a chair or a wall. Lower your
body (keeping your hips in line with shoulders
and knees) until your chest just touches the
space between your hands. Push back up. Repeat
until you're too tired to keep your body
straight. Once strong enough, move to the floor.
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Top]
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CRUNCHES:
middle abdominal (especially nice if you
like wearing shirts that bare your midriff, or if
your navel is pierced. keeps you from having
either a pudgy middle or a sunken stomach,
neither of which are attractive. Besides, what's
more attractive than a perfect belly?)
Lie on back
with your knees bent approximately 90 degrees and
feet on the floor or with your lower legs resting
on a chair. Cross your arms behind your head with
hands touching opposite shoulders. Press your
lower back into the floor, hold in your stomach,
and raise shoulder blades off floor. Raise and
lower in a slow, controlled manner. Tighten your
stomach as much as possible with each crunch.
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toTop]
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PELVIC TILTS: lower
abdominal (For ladies, these can be good for
relieving menstrual cramps. For men, improves the
sexual thrust.)
Lie on your
back in the same position as for crunches. Press
your lower back into the floor while tilting your
hip bones back and your pelvic bone up. DO NOT
lift hips. DO NOT tighten buttocks. DO use your
abdominal.. The motion should be small when
performed correctly. These can also be done with
one leg raised or both legs raised for increased
intensity. Do not move or swing legs, and do not
tighten your butt.[Back to Top]
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SHOULDER CIRCLES: shoulders
and upper back(Gives that neat rippled effect, and
makes it easire to support a cape or leather
jacket. Great for posture)
Start without weights, gradually adding weights
(such as dumbbells, soup cans, a cat, anything
will dojust so long as there is some
resistance....). Stand with your shoulders and
spine straight. Allowing your arms to hang, move
your shoulders in big circles. For a second set,
move in opposite direction.
*This is a great exercise for tension relief and
tension prevention.*
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Top]
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 A few
years ago my mother suffered severe acid reflux
that dissolved part of her esophagus. Her doctor,
to speed her recovery prescribed a completely fat
free diet. She lost 25 pounds in four weeks. I am
not saying that you should follow this example,
but eliminating fat is the best way to lose
weight. Some basic things to avoid are: Cheese
and most dairy products, mayonaisse and
mayonaisse based sauces, meat(mainly beef),
avocadoes, and sour cream, and fried
foods(including chips and hard tacos).
A big
mistake people make is to starve themselves. This
is not a good idea. What they should be doing is
trying to reduce their apetite. This should not
be done by simply not eating. Don't eat until you
are really truly hungry. When you feel like you
want to eat, think to yourself "Am I really
hungry?" If the answer is no, just follow
this exercise: Wait ten minutes. If youwait ten
minutes, or go do something else for ten minutes
(read, watch t.v, have a smoke, take a walk)
usually you'll forget you were hungry.
When
you sit down to a meal, try not to eat right
away. This is especially true in restaurants.
Before you eat, drink at least one full glass of
ice water. Not only does your body burn calories
trying to heat it for digestion, but your stomach
will begin to numb, curbing your hunger pangs.
You can also drink a full glass of a soft drink.
Also, no matter what, you never have to eat
everything on your plate. If all else fails, take
it home in a doggie bag. You will have another
meal for when you are low on cash, or you can
give it to a gutterpunk.
As
far as calories go, one of the highest calorie
foods is alcohol. Hard liquor has just as many if
not more calories than wine or beer. AVOID BINGE
DRINKING OR HAVING TOO MANY DRINKS. This, if you
are a drinker, will cut your daily calories at
least in half. Besides, the less you drink, the
lower your tolerance will be,and that saves
money!!
Here
is a list of some of my favorite munching snacks
that keep me from overeating.
Popcorn
(air popped with butter substitute or garlic
salt)
Baby
carrots(great stress releiver when you're pissed
off or depressed)
Onion
or Garlic Bagels(fat free!!!)
V-8(or
tomato juice)
(if
you're into the vampire thing, mix equal parts
tomato and orange juice, heat to body temp. and
it tastes just like blood!)
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Words Of
Encouragement
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