Ogg Forest

In the Deepest and Darkest reaches of Uberheim proper lies "Ogg Forest". Here the Pine trees grow with symmetrical perfection and blot out the sun even in the Light of a Summers Noon. I will explain how it received its name.

In the Pre-Uberheim days, Myself, Hagen and Frey would go venturing into the forest deeps several times a week. We would get a 12 Pack (see also “Double Pack” of something Horrific like Meister Brau (it'll get ya buzzed matie!), and Head off onto Dark Trails and Unforeseen routes (Known as "Going on a Lurk"). Sometimes one could just head into the Forest and call out "HOI HO" (The Standard Uberheim Call) and if a Friendly “HOI HO” heralded your Call in return, you could be sure that Uberites were Lurking somewhere within the Trails.

Upon these excursions we usually acquired Sturdy Ogles from imbibing of the Grails. It became common practice when one was to Descry a fallen limb upon the ground, which resembles a Bludgeon, or club to claim it as a companion for the walk. It was also common practice to "Name" ones own Bludgeon to stake claims to it honorably. The method employed here was to Raise the Limb to the Heavens and with the loudest of tones, Bellow its name to the Gods! (Usually it would be named for the sound it would make when smiting an Unfriendly Onlurker in the Dome.)

On one Lurk in particular I discovered a Tree Trunk-Sized Gnarled Limb of Oak! I Grabbed it forth and (Nearly fell back from there!) I called its name into the still Summer air as the Treetops echoed with the Cry of "Ogg"!! I held this Neanderthalic club upon my Shoulder despite its Uber-weight, and Marched happily off with the rest of the party toward the area in Uberheim known as "Nibelheim”. To get to Nibelheim, one must cross "Ginnungagap" (Montauk Highway!).

So there I was wearing a Black Tabard with a Large Golden Grail embossed on it, carrying a 15-foot Caveman’s Wet Dream of a Club, and a Can of Lukewarm Meister Chow in my Left hand, crossing Main Street at 2 in the Morning, beneath a green traffic light as several cars waited at the Red light on the other side (It must have been a sight!) 2 Lurkers followed me; One in Metal Armour carrying a Spear (Hagen) and the other dressed as the 43rd Heavy Wermacht German Infantry (Frey)! We reached "Neidhole" at the end of the Forest in the depths of Nibelheim, where I Still held "Ogg" upon my Shoulder, as our Ogles were increased from imbibing the remainder of the grails. We then marched back and came across a Dark Pine Forest that had a cold chill hanging in the Hot still Summer air. This Patch of wood would prove itself to be the home of a malevolent Spectre, which has had Some of the New Uberites in Tears, near fainting, and in utter horror! I Laid the Mighty Bludgeon down there, next to a makeshift Crucifix with initials etched into its surface. In this Wooden crucifix were dates ranging from sometime in the early seventies. Upon further investigation of the actual legal history of that land it was discovered that 2 Women were found murdered in that very area known to us as Ogg forest back in (I think) 1974. We have named the Spectre Quite affectionately as "Timmendequas". We even had a LARP in Ogg Forest in which an Uberite played the part of Timmendequas. Uberites have seen his roaming apparition from time to time or felt the Cold wind rustle the hairs on their necks!

Ogg Forest has been deemed by the Kingdom a forbidden area and the trails leading into it have overgrown with thistle and Thorn. The Forest Exists, and the Uberlegends, which have shaped it, exists...whether you would like to attempt visiting it in the Odd Hours after Midnight is your choice! We Uberites avoid it like the plague! By the way... the Bludgeon "Ogg" was found Splintered into a thousand pieces several days after it was laid to rest at Ogg Forest. Very Odd to say the least!

King Sir Siegfried Sigvaldsen of The Glorious Kingdom of Uberheim

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