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I have chosen this background for this page, because lightning is a very frightening experience, and so is Domestic Abuse. And as lightning is a "magnet" for some people, so are some women hopelessly attracted to the men who beat them. These women need our help to get them out of these terrible situations. They are frightened, confused and most times alone, with the feeling they have nowhere to turn. They feel trapped and afraid and we all need to reach out and take their hands...to lead them from the Hell they are in.
I have always known that this scourge existed, and I saw my own Mother go through it. What I didn't know was just how rampant it is. I am a member of LOTH, (Ladies of The Heart) and as I have visited the websites of the many wonderful ladies, I am struck by the number of them who are either going through or have gone through and survived this terrible situation. I am amazed at the strength these women have shown, and the courage so many of them have had that enabled them to "GET OUT"!
What I hope to accomplish with this page is to let more people know about Domestic Abuse and to show them that something can be done about it. I will include links to the many organizations out there for women who are suffering abuse and also links to some of the pages of the wonderful women who have gone through Hell and come out the other side as survivors.
Domestic Abuse StatisticsSafety NetIntroduction to ViolenceDomestic Violence Hotline ResourcesDomestic Violence Information CenterNational Coalition Against Domestic ViolenceRed Flag, Green FlagDomestic Abuse SheltersBlain Nelson's Abuse PagesDomestic Violence ResourcesDierdre's PageFamily Violence Prevention FundDoves, Inc.Behind Closed DoorsLegal Aid For Abused WomenChildren of Domestic AbuseIt Doesn't Have to be The End of the WorldDomestic Abuse HandbookWomen Who Needn't Have Died (a card)Violence Hits HomeSigns of Psychological AbuseDomestic Violence Checklist
I think I should also mention there are other kinds of abuse besides physical:
Are You a Victim of Domestic Abuse?
I could go on forever with links.....but I think I have made my point. This is a terrible thing we are dealing with here, and it must Stop! I just want to bring attention to this problem, and maybe, just maybe....help someone along the way.
This article appeared on the front page of our local paper the very day I began this project:
7/17/97
© 1997 The Associated Press
LEBANON, Maine (AP) - In recent months, Rita Demers
left her husband for a couple of weeks in hopes of
forcing him to seek treatment for his drinking problem,
the couple's children told detectives.
Roland Demers, 67, entered an alcohol-recovery program
and made some progress, the children said. But it was not
enough to avert a family tragedy.
After years of abuse and alcoholism, Demers shot his
wife in the head Tuesday before turning the gun on
himself. Police characterized the deaths as a
murder-suicide.
A daughter, Susan Cole, had grown concerned about her
parents and arrived at their Creamery Hill Road home soon
after the shooting. Her brother, who had tried to settle
an early-morning argument over the couple's car, had
asked her to look in on them.
Her mother lay dead in the kitchen, her father's body
in a recliner in the living room.
"My father didn't know what he was doing,"
Cole said Wednesday. "He was ill and I love him. I
loved my mother to pieces."
Cole would not discuss the shootings. She said her
parents had some good times together and looked happy at
her 40th birthday party July 1 at her home in Kennebunk.
When questioned by detectives, the Demers' children
told of growing up in an abusive household and of their
father's unrelenting problem with alcohol.
"They were distraught," Jeffrey Linscott,
the lead investigator in the case, said Wednesday.
"A couple (of children) made the statement...it
didn't surprise any of them that he'd take his own
life."
They were stunned though, Linscott said, that Demers
took their mother's life, too.
Demers was a Korean War veteran with mental problems
stemming from the war. For the last 20 years, he couldn't
work. Mrs. Demers, 58, was employed at Vishay-Sprague in
Sanford.
Family members helped detectives piece together the
last few hours of the couple's lives:
On Tuesday morning, Demers tried to persuade his wife
to let him drive her to work and keep the car for the
day. He lost his license in 1995 for drunken driving, but
got it back last fall.
Mrs. Demers tried to settle the matter by driving her
husband to her son Jerry's house in Sanford, before he
and his wife left for work. Rita Demers would leave
Vishay-Sprague for part of the day and drive her husband
where he wanted to go.
Jerry Demers asked Cole to check up on their parents
later.
Those who gathered near the scene of the shooting
Tuesday knew Roland Demers wasn't good to his wife, but
if there had been abuse, they didn't want to speak out
now.
Such reaction is common, said York County District
Attorney Michael P. Cantara. "Advice for people in
general: Don't sit idly by. If you believe someone is
being harmed, call the police, because your lack of
involvement can mean someone dying."
Cole said people should not judge a relationship they
do not understand. "She loved my father," Cole
said. "There was something there."
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