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I have been honored by Hilde as a Pick of the Week site!! Thank you so much, Hilde!!

I have chosen this background for this page, because lightning is a very frightening experience, and so is Domestic Abuse. And as lightning is a "magnet" for some people, so are some women hopelessly attracted to the men who beat them. These women need our help to get them out of these terrible situations. They are frightened, confused and most times alone, with the feeling they have nowhere to turn. They feel trapped and afraid and we all need to reach out and take their hands...to lead them from the Hell they are in.

I have always known that this scourge existed, and I saw my own Mother go through it. What I didn't know was just how rampant it is. I am a member of LOTH, (Ladies of The Heart) and as I have visited the websites of the many wonderful ladies, I am struck by the number of them who are either going through or have gone through and survived this terrible situation. I am amazed at the strength these women have shown, and the courage so many of them have had that enabled them to "GET OUT"!

What I hope to accomplish with this page is to let more people know about Domestic Abuse and to show them that something can be done about it. I will include links to the many organizations out there for women who are suffering abuse and also links to some of the pages of the wonderful women who have gone through Hell and come out the other side as survivors.



I think I should also mention there are other kinds of abuse besides physical:

WHAT IS ABUSE?

Abuse is a pattern of behavior which, through fear and intimidation, establishes power and control over a person. Abuse includes violence and the threat of violence. Approximately 95% of the victims of battering are women.

Emotional

Emotional abuse can be constant criticism, humiliation in public, name-calling, denial of access to finances or financial decisions, isolation from family and friends, harassment about imagined affairs.

Psychological

Psychological abuse includes such things as general harassment, being woken up in the middle of the night to fight about small incidents; threatening to hurt children, family, friends or pets; withholding approval: appreciation of affection.

Sexual

Sexual abuse includes forced sex and abuse before or during sex.


Are You a Victim of Domestic Abuse?


Help Prevent Elder Abuse


If You Are A Battered Woman


I could go on forever with links.....but I think I have made my point. This is a terrible thing we are dealing with here, and it must Stop! I just want to bring attention to this problem, and maybe, just maybe....help someone along the way.


This article appeared on the front page of our local paper the very day I began this project:

Aftermath of tragic murder-suicide:

Demers had entered treatment program for his drinking problem


7/17/97

© 1997 The Associated Press


     LEBANON, Maine (AP) - In recent months, Rita Demers left her husband for a couple of weeks in hopes of forcing him to seek treatment for his drinking problem, the couple's children told detectives.
     Roland Demers, 67, entered an alcohol-recovery program and made some progress, the children said. But it was not enough to avert a family tragedy.
     After years of abuse and alcoholism, Demers shot his wife in the head Tuesday before turning the gun on himself. Police characterized the deaths as a murder-suicide.
     A daughter, Susan Cole, had grown concerned about her parents and arrived at their Creamery Hill Road home soon after the shooting. Her brother, who had tried to settle an early-morning argument over the couple's car, had asked her to look in on them.
     Her mother lay dead in the kitchen, her father's body in a recliner in the living room.
     "My father didn't know what he was doing," Cole said Wednesday. "He was ill and I love him. I loved my mother to pieces."
     Cole would not discuss the shootings. She said her parents had some good times together and looked happy at her 40th birthday party July 1 at her home in Kennebunk.
     When questioned by detectives, the Demers' children told of growing up in an abusive household and of their father's unrelenting problem with alcohol.
     "They were distraught," Jeffrey Linscott, the lead investigator in the case, said Wednesday. "A couple (of children) made the statement...it didn't surprise any of them that he'd take his own life."
     They were stunned though, Linscott said, that Demers took their mother's life, too.
     Demers was a Korean War veteran with mental problems stemming from the war. For the last 20 years, he couldn't work. Mrs. Demers, 58, was employed at Vishay-Sprague in Sanford.
     Family members helped detectives piece together the last few hours of the couple's lives:
     On Tuesday morning, Demers tried to persuade his wife to let him drive her to work and keep the car for the day. He lost his license in 1995 for drunken driving, but got it back last fall.
     Mrs. Demers tried to settle the matter by driving her husband to her son Jerry's house in Sanford, before he and his wife left for work. Rita Demers would leave Vishay-Sprague for part of the day and drive her husband where he wanted to go.
Jerry Demers asked Cole to check up on their parents later.
     Those who gathered near the scene of the shooting Tuesday knew Roland Demers wasn't good to his wife, but if there had been abuse, they didn't want to speak out now.
     Such reaction is common, said York County District Attorney Michael P. Cantara. "Advice for people in general: Don't sit idly by. If you believe someone is being harmed, call the police, because your lack of involvement can mean someone dying."
     Cole said people should not judge a relationship they do not understand. "She loved my father," Cole said. "There was something there."



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