By Love Meeko

When John came back to the New World to be with Pocahontas,
the first thing he did was asking her to marry him. Pocahontas
accepted his proposal and within a month they were married. They
both moved into a nice little hut at the edge of the village where
they lived happily as husband and wife. It was all so perfect for
Pocahontas. She had a nice home, a wonderful husband who had a
good position within the tribe helping out Powhatan with trading,
but the only thing she didn't have was any children.



Pocahontas wasn't sure if John wanted any kids and it bothered
her so. She was to shy to bring up the conversation with him and
always thought the worse like believing he would say, "Why do we
need kids Pocahontas? They just get in the way" or "I don't want
any." But Pocahontas, inside, really wanted a child (and especially
John's child). She tried to get the topic off her mind and to not
think about it. When the day comes that she is pregnant, she'll
worry about it then.



                         **********

                               

Many months went by and John was always in and out of the
village. His job with Powhatan took up so much of his time; he
rarely got to see Pocahontas. Trading trips kept him quite busy,
keeping him 2 to 3 weeks away from her at times. But the days
that he was in the village, he made sure that they were quite
special for Pocahontas. One night in the fall, John had returned
from a long 2-week trip to another tribe. Pocahontas decided to
bring up the topic of children to him that evening.



John was lying down in their bed looking through the hole in the
top of the hut and studying the stars. Pocahontas walked over to
him and snuggled up next to his chest. She was trying to find the
right moment to tell him that she wanted children.

"Pocahontas, look at the stars. Aren't they beautiful?"

"Yes, they are."

"You know, while I'm out on those long trips and I get lonely, I
always look at the stars to feel better because every time I look
at them, I think of you. I think of how there are all the people in
the world and I happened to find you, and were the one. A needle
in a hay stack is how they say it."

Pocahontas smiled to him and thought that now was a good time to
bring it up.

"John, can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"Well, what do you think about kids? I mean, did you ever think
about having some one day."

"Kids, um I dunno, I've never really thought about it. I guess I
would like some kids, but why? I have you and that's all that I
need. I don't need any kids right now."

Pocahontas was disappointed. John didn't want any kids.
Pocahontas got up and turned away from John. John was
surprised.

"Pocahontas? What's wrong?"

Pocahontas didn't answer and looked away.

"I'm sorry, was it something I said?" John got up and turned to
her. "It was something I said. What did I say? Tell me."
Pocahontas turned around with her head down.

"You don't want to have kids do you?"

"Well, why are you mad about that? Lot's of people don't want
kids." John was so clueless of what Pocahontas was getting at.
Pocahontas looked at him with a sour face and stood up and walked
out of the hut.

"Pocahontas? Where are you going? I'm sorry. Please don't do
this to me." John followed her out side. "I've been away for 2
weeks and this is the time I finally get to be with you. I'm sorry
if I said something to offend you."

Pocahontas stopped walking and turned around.

"You did say something to offend me. Don't you ever think about
how I feel? You say you don't want any kids, but maybe I do.
Maybe I would like a child."

John went silent.

"But Pocahontas, you are young, you have plenty of time to have a
child."

"But you are always gone and I never see you! What if you left
me and never returned? What would I do?"

"Oh Pocahontas, come here.... Why do you think that will happen?
I will always come back to you, I love you. You are my wife and
mean everything to me. I'm sorry for what I said."

John put his arm around Pocahontas and she resisted, jerking his
arm away a little until John had a better grip around her that she
had to give in, placing her head on his chest. Maybe John was
right. Maybe she was jumping into this too soon. She was young
and had plenty of time. Pocahontas tried to forget about it, but on
the other hand, John couldn't get it off his mind.



After they went to bed, John stayed awake thinking about what
Pocahontas said. Did he really not want children? Or did he just
say that to her because he was scared? Scared to raise children?
Afraid that he wouldn't make a good father. But as he looked at
Pocahontas sleep, he realized how great of a mother she would be
(and to have her be the mother of his children would be even
better). Pocahontas was so perfect for him, why not let her have
his children, they were married after all, seemed only natural.
Anyhow, John didn't think about it anymore and went to sleep.



                         **********



A couple days passed after Pocahontas and John had that
conversation and they seemed to be closer together then ever
from it. John realized he did want children but was now too
embarrassed to ask Pocahontas of it because she was now on the
idea that he didn't want any. The day came when John had to
leave for his next trading trip and Pocahontas said her usual
good-byes and John said his usual, I'll see you in a week or two,
good-byes. Pocahontas gave him a kiss and he was off.



John was gone for quite awhile on this trip and he was gone for
more then 2 weeks. A message had arrived to Pocahontas
specifically, from John, saying that he won't be home for another
2 weeks. He had to travel to another tribe and bad weather was
holding the warrior party from getting through on time.
Pocahontas was upset from the news and didn't talk to anyone
about it. The last 2 weeks while John was gone, Pocahontas
started to act a bit peculiar. She could become very easily upset
and often had mood swings. Nakoma observed this, but concluded
that it must be from John's long trips away from her.



One morning, after a long and steady sleep, Pocahontas woke up to
feeling quite sick. She immediately got out of bed and quickly ran
out side to the forest edge where she threw-up. She did not feel
well at all and thought she may have caught something the other
night picking berries with Nakoma. When Pocahontas walked back
to her hut, she started to feel dizzy and almost fell, but made it
back to her bed in time. 

"Oh, I feel so weird. I feel so sick. What is wrong with me?
Maybe I just need some rest." Pocahontas laid down and looked
through the hole in the hut's top and watched the clouds. Then she
suddenly sat up. Pocahontas started to think. Could she be.....be
pregnant? Pocahontas felt a sharp heat go through her body from
the idea. She had to stand up and pressed her hand on her
stomach.

"No, I couldn't be. It's just my imagination. Yes, just my
imagination." Pocahontas was in denial and just couldn't believe it,
but then she remembered, she was late by about 3 weeks. How
could she be so stupid! She now knew, she was pregnant.

"I'm pregnant.......what shall I do. How am I going to tell John?
Oh no, he doesn't want a baby." Pocahontas felt so awful, worse
then being sick! She didn't know what to do or who to tell. Tears
started to form in her eyes and she fell back to her bed with her
head to her pillow. 

                               

                         **********

                               

Two weeks passed and Pocahontas told no one of her situation. The
day came when John was expected to return and Pocahontas went
to Nakoma's hut that morning.

"Nakoma?"

"Oh Pocahontas, come in. The warriors are returning today! Are
you happy?"

"Yes, very happy." Then Pocahontas began to sob.

"Oh, Pocahontas, what is wrong?"

"Nakoma, promise you won't tell anyone! Not even John!"

"I promise. Now, what is it? Why you crying?"

"Nakoma, I just couldn't tell anyone. I'm pregnant."

"Pocahontas! Oh my, congratulations .......I think. But why are you
crying?"

"John doesn't want any kids and now I've gotten myself pregnant.
What will he think? He'll never speak to me again!" Pocahontas
started to cry on Nakoma's shoulder.

"Oh Pocahontas, well maybe he'll change his mind when you tell
him. You are going to tell him?"

"I......I don't know. I just can't."

"Come on Pocahontas. It can't be that bad. Think about it, you are
going to be a mother, and John, you will make him a father. He
can't be mad at you. Oh Pocahontas, don't worry. Just tell him;
tell him today."



Then some warrior cries were heard from outside. The trading
group was finally back! Pocahontas stopped crying and sat up. She
looked outside.

"Nakoma, he's here. I don't know what to do!"

"Pocahontas, just tell him!"

Pocahontas looked at Nakoma and hugged her.

"Please don't tell anyone! Not anyone!"

"I promise!"

"Okay, thank you." Pocahontas got up and went to greet John. She
was so glad to see him, but she did not tell him yet. She told her
self, "Later, I'll tell him later."



That evening, Pocahontas and John were eating dinner and talking
about his trip, then they switched to another topic.

"So Pocahontas, what have you been doing these past 4 weeks?"

Pocahontas looked at the ground. She must tell him.

"John, I.......I need to tell you something."

"Alright."

"John, I'm..." Then a warrior who popped his head through the
door interrupted Pocahontas.

"John! Come out here. We are playing a game and need another
player. Come on!"

"Okay! Oh I'm sorry Pocahontas, can you tell me after this game?
I want to play real bad."

"Ah, yes, it can wait."

"Thank you! Coming Namontak!" John kissed Pocahontas on the
cheek and left. Ugh! Why didn't she tell him?! Pocahontas was so
mad at herself. This was going to be harder then she thought. She
decided to tell him another evening when he wasn't busy. Nakoma
came into the hut. 

"So, did you tell him?"

"No. He wanted to go play ball this the guys."

"Well tell him sometime!"

"I'm trying! Leave me alone."

"Fine, okay."

But Pocahontas didn't tell him. She didn't even try to bring it up.
Every time she tried to, she was always interrupted or couldn't
get it out into words.



                          ********

                               

Days passed and Pocahontas kept silent. John told her that he was
going on another trip again and was afraid to say that he was
going to be gone a long time again. She knew that she had to tell
him before he left.



The night before the party was going to leave, Pocahontas had
John sit down. She told him she had something very important to
say that couldn't be interupted. But when she got to the moment
to tell him, and John was looking at her eyes, nothing came out.

"So Pocahontas, what did you wanted to say?"

"Ah....aa....I ah, just wanted to tell you to have a save trip and
come back to me."

"Oh Pocahontas." John hugged her and Pocahontas was hitting
herself inside. Stupid! She went to bed and told herself, "it's
tomorrow or never!"



In the morning, Pocahontas woke up early but found that John was
already gone. 

"Where's John? Did he leave already! Oh no, not yet, please!" I
have to tell him now, or never."

Pocahontas ran outside but didn't see the trading party anywhere.
She was too late! She ran to Nakoma's hut.

"Nakoma! John is gone and I haven't told him yet!"

"What, what are talking about?"

"I can't find him or the warriors."

"Pocahontas, don't freat, the group is probably in your father's
hut like always."

"oh." Pocahontas left quickly to her father's hut, but no one was
in there. "Where are they? Maybe they are in the forest hunting
for some food. I'll go see." But as soon as she left to look for him,
John just came back to the hut.

"Where's Pocahontas? I'm leaving soon and she's not here. She
always good-bye." 

A warrior came inside the hut, John are you ready to go yet? We
are about to leave."

"Couple more minutes. I need to wait for Pocahontas."

"Alrighty."

                               

                          ********

                               

It was almost noon Pocahontas could tell and still no John
anywhere. She gave up and decided to return to the village. When
she arrived, she saw the warriors all out side with their things
about ready to leave.

"Namontak. Where's John?"

"Hi Pocahontas, he's in your hut waiting for you." Pocahontas
smiled and ran to John.



"John! John!"

"Pocahontas!" Pocahontas hugged John around the neck. "I almost
thought I would miss you and wouldn't been able to say good bye.
We are going to be gone for a month."

"A month! No! Why so long?"

"Alot of trading." John laughed and tried to cheer Pocahontas up.
"But I'll see you when I get back."

A warrior came inside.

"John ready to go, we are leaving now."

"Okay, be right there." Pocahontas looked at John........"Now or
never" she thought!

"John, I must tell you something." John started to pick up his
things and other warriors were coming in and out of the hut
helping him. "John, I must tell you something!" John turned around
and Pocahontas grabbed a hold of his shirt.

"What is it?"

"You better put down those things John. It's really important!"
John looked at Pocahontas eyes and knew it was important
because tears were starting to run down her cheeks. John looked
around, all the warriors who picking up his things and talking to
him were too load and he wanted to make sure he heard
Pocahontas.

"Everyone! Stop what you are doing! Pocahontas has something
important to tell me and I want to hear her!"

All the men stopped in their tracks and stared at Pocahontas
waiting for her to speak. Pocahontas turned bright red! She didn't
want EVERYEONE to hear. She was so embarrassed.

"So, what did you want to tell me?" Pocahontas began to cry
harder and couldn't take it, she looked at John then ran outside.
"Pocahontas? Wait!"



All the warriors looked at each other.

"What's wrong with her?"

John looked at them with a angry face.

"That's my wife you are talking about!" John ran outside after
her. "Pocahontas, what's wrong? What did you want to say to
me?" John grabbed Pocahontas arm before she ran off farther
and turned her around so that she was facing him. Pocahontas had
tears all over her cheeks and turned her head away from him.

"Pocahontas? What's wrong?"

"John I........I'm pregnant."

John let go of her arm and went silent. Did he hear her right? 

"Your pregnant?"

"Yes." Pocahontas looked at him then at the ground. John couldn't
say anything, he didn't know what to think.

"But, how long?"

"A month...."

"Why did you tell me now? Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

"You weren't here!"

"But why today?"

"I couldn't tell you until now. I was afraid that..........that you
wouldn't want it."

"What? Why would you think that?"

"Because you said so."

Oh, how could John be so blind! That was so stupid of him! No
wonder she didn't want to tell him. He said he didn't want any
children.

"Oh, Pocahontas, I'm so sorry I said that too you."

"If you hate me, I will understand."

"Why would I hate you? Oh Pocahontas, did you think since that
you're pregnant, I wouldn't love you anymore?" Pocahontas
nodded. John felt so bad that she had to think that. He put his
hand under her chin and lifted her head to his. "Pocahontas, don't
ever think I would hate you. I love you with all my heart and will
love our child too with all my heart. I won't disappoint you. I'll
be the best father that I can be!" Pocahontas' heart just burst!
She couldn't believe what she heard. John wanted the baby and he
loved her so much. John bent down and gently kissed Pocahontas
on the lips. She closed her eyes and placed her arms around his
neck. She had never felt more happier in her life then at that
moment for she knew that they would have child who was loved and
would grow up to have the best father ever.



                           The End