One day, in Tellytubby land, The Tellytubbies were all asleep under the blankets they had stolen from people who had just finished the London Marathon. This meant they missed something going horribly wrong. Somewhere deep in Noo Noo's circuits, something went fizz, something pop, and all Noo Noo's behaviour protocols went right out of the window. Suddenly pathways of circuitry long dead flared into life... "No more of this 'Naughty Noo Noo' shit! No more clearing up while those lazy little bastards spend their time playing with the rabbits!". It was Payback Time. Noo Noo made himself very busy for the next hour or two, glad of the open university courses he had taken. He made lots of preparations so he would be ready when they finally dragged their fat arses out of bed, when those damn drainpipes yelled at them enough. When the Tubbies got up they went out to play. Noo Noo let out a strange little vacuum cleaner snigger as he spotted Po take out his favourite thing...his shiny red scooter. Po wheeled the scooter up to the top of one of the suspiciously artificial looking hillocks. At the bottom he saw Laa laa, playing with her ball. "Eh oh Laa Laa" cried Po. "Eh oh Po!" came the cheery reply. "I know" thought Po "I'll ride my scooter down this hill so I can say Eh oh to Laa Laa again, again again, ad nauseum.". So, with a merry peep of his horn, Po started to wheel the scooter down the gentle slope. Half way down the slope, Po started to brake, so he would stop just in the right place to say "eh oh!" to Laa laa. But the Scooter didn't slow. It kept gaining speed down the hill, until it was going very fast indeed. Po frantically peeped his horn again, but Laa Laa only waved and cried out "Eh oh Po!". The happy expression on her face disappeared as she realised too late that her friend couldn't stop... Po crashed headlong into Laa Laa, and the two tubbies, the scooter and the ball all went flying. Po tried to get up, but he couldn't, his legs felt all weird. He turned his head slowly, because it hurt too, to see Laa Laa. She was lying in a very strange position, with her limbs all bent at funny angles, and her head lolling, with the twisted scooter lying accross her. Laa laa's fur was stained all red. "That's not fair" thought Po. "I'm the red one..." Noo Noo had seen all this from inside the Tubby dome. None of the tubbies had seen his little modification to Po's scooter's brakes. The two remaining tubbies certainly hadn't. They were hungry. They wanted Tubby Toast. "Tubby Toast! Tubby Toast!" both Dipsy and Tinky Winky cried. Dipsy went over to the machine that produced the smiley discs of delicious toast the tubbies so loved, while Tinky Winky sat at the table with a sort of farty noise. Dipsy pushed a button, and pulled a lever, and fresh toast flew into the air. But This wasn't right thought Dipsy...it doesn't usually go so fast, or spin like that! The toast sped towards Tinky Winky, who sat watching it looking dopey as the toast cam to him. He didn't see anything wrong...the toast was coming straight to him! The smiley bread product hit Tinky winky in the neck, cutting deep into his throat and clean through where his zip was. The expression on Tinky Winky's face stayed fixed, as his head tumbled off his shoulders, leaving his bulky body sat in it's chair, spurting a little. "Oh NO!" thought Dipsy "This isn't in the script!", but he only thought this briefly as Noo Noo clubbed the green tubby about the back of his head with his Vacuum cleaner nose, until Dipsy lay semi concious on the floor. "I'll give you Tubby bye bye." thought Noo Noo, and he dragged Dipsy over to the tubby custard machine. A bowl of tubby custard was ready for what Noo Noo had in mind. He lifted Dipsy up, and dropped him face first into the custard, holding him down until the bubbling stopped and Dipsy's body flopped,a nd his long antenna drooped. Noo Noo was over joyed...at last the place could be tidy and he could rest for once. Peace and quiet were his! And so it was, until the baby in the sun grew up to be a teenager, and went super nova because no one understood him...taking all of TellyTubby land with him.
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