I guess first off, I need to say that I am in NOWAY saying that teen-age pregnancy is acceptable...because it isn't. But it DOES happen, therefore, we must deal with it! I hope that I can help one person by reading my story. I am nowhere near perfect, I was highly educated, and well aware of all the different kinds of protection out there. I am not sure if lectures, classes, and books would have changed what we did...but maybe if I had talked to a girl that went through this...that may have made a difference. A big FAT reality check is what I needed. I made bad choices and I hope by reading this story.... you won't make the same ones.!
I was 16 years old when I became pregnant. It was the first time in my life that I had ever had sex! So, yes, it CAN happen! I had always wanted to be so much better...have so much more pride and follow through on so much more. By having my son...that didn't mean all of that was over and impossible...it was just going to be harder to accomplish! John knew I was pregnant and so did my best friend....but we couldn't tell our parents. Not for along time. I was scared. I knew once I told them....life as I knew it would be over...and I had created a safe haven...where only MY dreams were shattered not my parents dreams as well. Inevitably they found out. I believe I was almost 21 weeks pregnant when they finally DID find out. And much to my surprise, it wasn't so bad. Granted they weren't throwing a party or jumping up and down....but what's done is done. I remember feeling so scared. And so upset that I couldn't celebrate and enjoy this time in my life. I couldn't show the excitement I was feeling because what we had done was wrong, and unheard of. Actually not unheard of...it was thrown under the rug by most older people. I can remember how I cried myself to sleep the night my parents found out. How could I have done this? How could I have let them down and make them feel this way. I never imagined in a million years that I could or WOULD break their hearts and today, I am still so sorry!
After everyone knew...it made things easier. I had a terrible pregnancy from there on. I think that is why parents knew. After they ound out...things went down hill. I went into labor the end of January. John and I went to the Lamazze classes...and I still attended high school full time. I was working 30 -35 hours a week. Well, one day at school, I felt so tense, my stomach was so hard...felt like a rock. And me...being 17 years old, I was showing friends and telling them to feel the baby pushing out. Well this continued for 2-3 days. Then it stopped. After awhile though, it hurt so bad when I would walk I felt pressure. Not pain, not contractions....pure pressure. Well we had a snow day at school one day so I called and asked to talk to a nurse. I explained that I was not currently in any discomfort or pain, but in the last few days this is what I was feeling. And they told me to come in. My parents had to work and I was taking my sister to the baby sitter that day so I had to take her with me. Well, when we got to the Dr's office...they did the all wonderful exam and and Dr. Haack said, "Honey, Are you trying to have this baby?" and I said,"No, of course not" she said well, you're not doing a good job of it. I was 3 1/2 centimeters dialated and 75% effaced. STRAIGHT to the hospital we went. I remember sitting there as the Dr. called my mom telling her the whole story and telling her that I had to go to the hospital to be admitted right away or this baby was coming. All of that *pushing that I thought the baby was doing..they were really contractions! UGH...how silly did I feel? I ended up staying in the hopsital for almost 2 weeks. I was receiving terbutaline shots every 2 hours for 3 days and then finally they started giving me the terbutaline pill. This pill made me so sick. Headaches, queeziness, made my heart RACE! I can remember I was lying in that bed, just crying. (I was back in the labor and delivery part of the hospital because it was to dangerous to move me.) And night after night, day after day...they were preventing me from haivng my baby...and I had to hear all these other families having Their babies.! It was terrible. In an instant you go from worrying about who is ging to win the next football game to whether or not your baby is going to make it, be born sick , or be totally heathy. The whole time my family was of great support. John and I were still together but he wasn't much support through this. I would ask him to come to the hospital and he would..but only for a bit. He said he hated them. So there I sat hour after hour day after day....alone.!
After almost 2 weeks they let me go home. And I knew I only had a few more days to go. My mother threatened to hide my pills so we could just get it over with! :-)
On March 13, 1994, we cheated and My mom , my sister, John and I all went bowling. I was almost 8 1/2 months pregnant and bowling...How is that for a site? Ha Ha The next day I had to go to the Dr's again... that day the Dr told me if I feel the SLIGHTEST twitch to go to the hospital...I was now 4 centimeter and 90% effaced. I went home...finished packing and ate and ate and ate. I think to be truthful I think I ate almost 9 tacos. I felt kinda damp. Felt like I was almost peeing my pants. I told my mom and she told me to lay down cause if this was the real thing, I would need my sleep. Well, I (again being 17) FLIPPED out...If this my water.it is going to ruin my bed, do you want me to drowned, how rude of you etc... just screaming it. It was snowing like you wouldn't believe.! My dad finally agreed to take me to the hospital, on the condition that I came home with a baby. When we got there I called John's family and told them. And he said he would be out after work. The nurses checked me out and it wasn't my water.it was the jelly from the exam this morning.*blush* Made me want to hide under a rock and never come out. But they said my water was so close to popping...it was "bulging" so what do they do...give me internals all night trying to break it. I called my brother at 3 in the morning to tell him I was going to have the baby tomarrow. I was now excited! In the morning the Doctor came in and checked me. I think she just wanted to get rid of me cause she said let's just break your water and get this over with. So at 9:50, she broke my water..and i remember PUKING my guts out. E-V-E-R-Y- single taco I ate...came up! I don't remember being in pain until the very last part of the Price Is Right. I saw where they bid on the showcase....but have NO recollection of of who won. Ha ha The doctors called life flight and were preparing me for the worst. Telling me that the baby is a premie and it is very light weight. To expect a five pound baby at the most. So that was almost Noon. John was very excited and offered great support during the actual labor. He made a huge deal about HIM being in the delivery room for his childs birth....well let me tell you, by the time I was INTO the labor... he kept saying, "Honey, do you want me to get your mom?" He was almost ready to faint! ha ha
I pushed almost 2 hours...and I heard the doctors saying give her another half hour and take her for surgery. Well that was it for me! The farther I gotinto this thing....the doctors kept telling me the baby MIGHT weigh in at 6 pounds. As I delivered the head...The dr told me this baby was bigger than she thought and she thought he weighed in at 7 pounds. I was getting this baby out one way or another. He was born at 1:30! EXACTLY! And to be very honest with you.... the first time I saw him..I thoughtICK I waited nine months to see this. He looked like he was dipped in jelly and marshmellows!! :-)
he was FAT...and SLIMEY! My doctors exact words were HOLY COW>.....this baby must weigh in at 10 pounds. Actually, he weighed in at 8 pounds 10 ounces. Remember though folks....he was 3 and a half weeks EARLY!!! Talk about a BIG fat baby! ha ha
Anthony is now almost 4 and a lhaf years old. He is getting bigger every day. Would I change things...NEVER. I would never give up my baby that I have now. I would have just *postponed* it a few more years. John and I have been married 2 months now. We have been together almost 6 years. People aren't always as lucky as me. There are so many that go unsupported and all alone!