A companion page to "An Open Letter to Dennis Miller"
I had to know that something was unique, inspiring, and parody-worthy of Dennis Miller circa 1986.
Dennis was doing Weekend Update, and Dana Carvey, dressed as Dennis, sat beside him and aped his
speech, gestures, and mannerisms.
Soon after Phil Hartman died, I saw a TV clip in which Hartman told of his audition
for Saturday Night Live.
Dennis Miller asked him what his specialty was, and Phil said he did voices.
Miller said, "Do French."
Hartman replied in a Dennis Miller voice, "I don't do French."
And people have been aping or ridiculing Dennis or taking poetic
or artistic or narrative inspiration from him ever since.
In fact, during Spring 2003, Dana Carvey and Jimmy Fallon did an improv
of Dennis Miller giving birth with Dennis Miller as coach:
"I'm having more contractions than an accordion!"
Included here: cartoons, photos, poetry, fiction--
"in the flesh" or via links
And yes, something I've written too! (You'd think I'd leave myself out of this party?)
View My Guestbook
Sign My Guestbook
This...THIS...has to be so far the most auspicious artistic tribute of all:from talkingpresidents.com
from www.lasvegascitylife.com to go with Miller time: Once a genuinely funny comedian, Dennis Miller has become a conservative shill by Joshua Ellis, Las Vegas CityLife, 11/20/03
from www.thespeciousreport.com to go with Trying to Help, by Dennis Miller --a sardonic reply to the list that Miller did not write!
from www.bartcop.com
from www.bartcop.com
from www.allhatnocattle.net
illustration by Brandon Bird to go with Dennis Match By Rick Chandler Illustration by Brandon Bird Las Vegas Weekly, July 10-16, 2003 timed to Miller's appearance at the Paris Las Vegas also by Brandon Bird:
image from www.blacktable.com
for sale at www.lasvegas-chips.com (click image)
from www.suprmchaos.com
from usconservatives.about.com
from The Simpsons: "They Saved Lisa's Brain", 5/16/1999 Comic Book Guy: We are hardly nerds, would a nerd wear such an irreverent sweatshirt? Lisa: See DOS. See DOS Run. Run, DOS, Run. Ha hahaha. Only one person in a million people would find that funny. Frink: Yes, we call that the "Dennis Miller Ratio".
Too risque to copy, yet worth a look: Sports Faculty: Dennis Miller learns the first rule of Monday Night Football Vote Celebrity!: Senator Dennis Miller (Reform Party - Pennsylvania) The Daily Probe: Dennis Miller's To-Do List, 3/5/2002
Being found in fan fiction has to be one of the most fascinating feelings that a celebrity can find!
Dennis Miller
by David Bozzi
had I inadvertently
joined the Exxon/Mobil goon squad
under the false pretense
that I was joining the U.S. Armed Services
for the purpose of protecting my people
from actual threats,
but instead was swindled
into getting sent to a desert
to kill and be killed
for big oil companies
and imperialistic fetishes
under a crappy battle plan
taken straight from General Custard's playbook,
and executed under the direction
of an illegitimate president
incapable of forming
a grammatically correct sentence
using all real words...
I'd go AWOL...
Just like he did.
Ink Blot Poetry: Dennis Miller
FAN FICTION EXCERPTS
"Lamb Slaughter", by Crazy Cindy
One boring Tuesday morning, Dennis Miller woke up as usual, on the floor next to an empty bed. He stood up wobbly-legged, his back
aching and his shoulders near dislocated. But he was used to it by now and he had accepted the fact that his wife would never allow him
to sleep in the same bed as her.
He waddled into the bathroom and stared into the mirror, wiping the crust out of his eyes and scratching his ass. "Good morning,
f***er." He mumbled to his reflection. He pulled a razor out of the cabinet and applied a thick mass of shaving cream onto his stubbled
face. He began to shave when suddenly he noticed something so shocking it caused him to gasp and cut himself....A RECEDING HAIRLINE!!!
"F***!!" he spewed, whipping the razor to the floor...
*****
Grudge Match: The Weakest Link
The Scenario
[Theme music builds to a climax. Spotlights pierce the darkness of
the TV studio. At its center stands Anne Robinson, forbiddingly clad in black.]
"Welcome... to The Weakest Link!"
"Any one of the eight people in the studio tonight could win up to
one million dollars. They don't know each other. However, if they
want to win the money, they'll have to work as a team. But—seven of
them will leave with nothing, as round by round we eliminate the player voted... The Weakest Link!"
"Let's meet the team." [crash of dramatic music; sweep of spotlights]
"Lisa; 8; Springfield, [recording glitch wipes out state name]; saxophone player and crusader for social justice."
"Ben; 56; Los Angeles, California; game-show host."
"Jason; 10; Hillsdale, Illinois; hacker and sci-fi entrepreneur."
"Dennis; 47; Santa Barbara, California; football commentator and professional wise-***."
...JOE: I think Dennis Miller will win this one for two reasons.
The first is Sex Appeal™. Dennis doesn't exactly float my boat
personally, but then again, I'm not gay. We'll have to look to all
our female readers for a better view on that subject. (Rainwoman?
Little help?) Having said that, Dennis is the only contestant with
at least a little Sex Appeal™. While not normally an influence in
competitions of wisdom, this will intimidate the other contestants
and cause them to perform poorly under the pressure.
The second reason is that Dennis and host Anne Robinson are both
known for being witty, intelligent and overly sarcastic. Anne needs
a successful, exciting guy like Dennis who won't cry home to mommy
every time she runs her mouth off. I think Dennis Miller is Anne
Robinson's soul mate and she'll do everything in her power to help him win.
*****
MORE FANFIC TO COME!
SONG FOR DENNIS
Oh Dennis
What's happened to you?
Do you think
What you're saying is true?
You speak like you agree
With the powers-that-be.
Well, do you?
Did you lose
Too much this past year?
Are you drowning
In terror and fear?
You used to allow
What you now disavow,
Didn't you?
Once you watched from your window,
Observing from all sides.
Now you've fallen from the tower;
You've been taken for a ride.
Who reached you?
Who taught you?
Who changed you?
Who threatened you?
Dear Dennis,
I miss what you once were:
So bright,
So brazen--and you still are--
But now you take your stand
With those who've seized command.
Why did you?
MNL 4/24/03
*****
Speculations
It’s a practical joke!
He’s putting us on!
It’s an experiment
In being far-gone.
He’s trying to learn
How far he can go
And how much we’ll believe
Any bull that he’ll throw.
He’s a has-been sellout!
A media whore!
He’s hunting a job—-
Nothing less. Nothing more.
He’s seeing this country
Shift way to the right.
He’s been shilling for customers
When he’s pitched on late-night.
He’s scared witless
Like the rest of this nation.
And to see him lose wit—-
What a sorry frustration.
He’s drowning, he’s grasping
For flotsam support.
Shallow flag-waving
Is his current resort.
Oh, come off it, you!
He’s seeing the light!
This Hollywood left
Would make FDR take flight.
He’s finally grown up.
He’s come to his sense.
To stay lifelong liberal
Is what I call dense.
Someone’s shaken him down
Or paid him off big.
“Hey, the king needs a jester!
He wants you for the gig!”
No, he’s just got two kids
And a wife to support.
He’s the celebrity in fishbowl
Working class sort.
Hey, it’s not like he put on
A KKK hood!
He’s still pro-choice
And his insight’s still good.
Listen up! It’s show business!
He’s not writing new laws.
Do you need a comedian
To back up your cause?
But a laugh’s a great weapon
A powerful charmer
What better to rip up
An enemy’s armor?
We don’t know what he’s up to
Or why he’s doing it.
Is he loving his country
Or is he just screwing it?
--MNL, 6/16-18/2003
*****
Both of these appear on the message board of Bill Maher's website.