Q: What exactly is the definition of Jiggy?
A: Defining Jiggy is like trying to can
sunshine; it cannot be done. It has no
definition,
it just exists. For more details on the characteristics
of Jiggy,
refer
to the State of
the Jiggy Address.
Q: What can Jiggy do?
A: True Jiggy can accomplish nearly anything.
However,
there are small limitations, which I am still learning.
Again,
see the State
of the Jiggy Address, for more.
Q: Will Jiggy help me get a girl/boyfriend?
A: Please refer to the State
of the Jiggy Address.
Q: Who can be Jiggy?
A: Theoretically anyone can be Jiggy,
although I personally have serious doubts about that.
There
exists a small group whose Anti-Jigginess is so strong, it acts as a Jiggy
Black Hole,
of
sorts, where all hopes of Jigginess are futile. These few can never
be Jiggy by any
conventional
means.
Q: Can I be Jiggy?
A: With the proper training, hopefully
you can be Jiggy.
Q: How does one learn to be Jiggy?
A: I am forming a class of non-Jiggy people
in my home area to see if Jiggy can be
taught.
If it proves successful, I shall spread the Jiggy teachings across
the
country, bringing Jigginess to anyone wishing to learn.
Q: Will these Jigginess classes be expensive?
A: The only investment that I ask you
to make in these courses is your time -
an
investment that pales in comparison to the rewards of attaining the Jiggy.
Q: What makes you so qualified to instruct
the masses on Jigginess?
A: I am, to date, the most Jiggy person
in the known world.
Furthermore,
I hold a Bachelor of Science in the field of Womanology.
Q: How did you get to be so Jiggy?
A: First of all, I am the culmination
of two very very recessive Jiggy genes -
genes
said to be linked to extraterrestrial ancestors who came to this earth
in
the years prior to the construction of the Great Pyramid. This,
in addition
to
19 years spent in the culturing of this Jiggy, has allowed me to attain
the
level
of Jigginess that I now possess.
Q: Jiggy sounds so powerful...if it were to
fall into the wrong hands, could it be used for evil?
A: That is a concern that I originally
had during the development of my Jigginess course:
"what
if someone truly unworthy of the Jiggy were to take the class...what
would they
do
with such incredible power?" Such is the reason I developed such
an intensive
application
process for the Jiggy training classes - to weed out the naturally Anti-Jiggy.
However,
if one of these persons were to slip through the cracks, and attended the
Jigginess
class,
he/she could never actually use the Jiggy for evil purposes, whereas
the Jiggy is a
good
Jiggy; a benevolent Jiggy; spreading only joy throughout the world, not
pain,
tyranny,
and suffering.
Q: Is Viagra a Jigginess pill?
A: Nay, there is no known process in which
Jigginess can be distributed. True Jigginess
may
only be attained through rigorous training in the ways of the Jiggy.
Q: How does one know when one has attained
Jigginess?
A: You will know. Trust me.
Q: Can I put Jiggy on my resume?
A: Yes. Employers are always looking for
truly Jiggy people. Be prepared to back up your
Jiggy,
though; employers are very fearful of Jiggy frauds.
Q: What is the difference between one who is
"Non-Jiggy" and those who are "Anti-Jiggy"?
A: To be "Non-Jiggy" is not a bad thing,
in itself. It simply means that a person does
not
possess the Jiggy (or only a very small amount of it). This does
not mean that
the
person can never achieve true Jigginess, it simply requires hard work.
The "Anti-Jiggy",
however,
possess no Jiggy whatsoever, nor do they have the capacity to become Jiggy
at
any time in the future. Thankfully, to this date, there are only two such
people in the
population.
These two in unison are enough to stifle the powers of the Jiggy temporarily,
and
prolonged exposure can be detrimental to the structural integrity of the
Jiggy itself.
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