Marg Keigher Humor



  **Blessings**  

Two travelling angels stopped to spend the night in the
home of a wealthy family.
The family was rude and refused to let the angels stay in
the mansion's guest room. Instead the angels were given
a space in the cold basement.
As they made their bed on the hard floor, the older angel
saw a hole in the wall and repaired it.
When the younger angel asked why,

the older angel replied...
"Things aren't always what they seem".

The next night the pair came to rest at the house of a
very poor, but very hospitable farmer and his wife.
After sharing what little food they had, the couple let
the angels sleep in their bed where they could have a
good night's rest.

When the sun came up the next morning the angels
found the farmer and his wife in tears. Their only cow,
whose milk had been their sole income,
lay dead in the field.

The younger angel was infuriated and asked the
older angel "how couldyou have let this happen!?
The first man had everything, yet you helped him,"
she accused.

"The second family had little but was willing to share
everything, and you let their cow die."

"Things aren't always what they seem," the older angel replied.

"When we stayed in the basement of the mansion, I noticed
there was gold stored in that hole in the wall.
Since the owner was so obsessed with greed and unwilling
to share his good fortune, I sealed the wall so he
wouldn't find it.
Then last night as we slept in the farmers bed,
the angel of death came for his wife. I gave her the cow
instead.
Things aren't always what they seem."

Sometimes this is exactly what happens when things
don't turn out the way they should.

If you have faith, you just need to trust that every
outcome is always to your advantage.
You might not know it until some time later.

Think about this:

Should you find it hard to get to sleep tonight;
Just remember the homeless family who has no bed to lie in.

Should you find yourself stuck in traffic; don't despair.
There are people in this world for whom driving is an unheard of privilege.

Should you have a bad day at work; Think of the man who
has been out of work for the last three months.

Should you despair over a relationship gone bad;
Think of the person who has never known what it's
like to love and be loved in return.

Should you grieve the passing of another weekend;
Think of the woman in dire straits, working twelve hours
a day, seven days a week, for $15.00 to feed her family.

Should your car break down, leaving you miles away from
assistance;
Think of the paraplegic who would love the opportunity
to take that walk.

Should you notice a new gray hair in the mirror;
Think of the cancer patient in chemo who wishes she
had hair to examine.

Should you find yourself at a loss and pondering
what is life all about, asking "what is my purpose";
Be thankful, there are those who didn't live long
enough to get the opportunity.

Should you find yourself the victim of other people's
bitterness, ignorance, smallness or insecurities;
Remember, things could be worse. You could be them!!!



  Written with a pen  

Sealed with a kiss
If you are my friend,
Please answer this:
Are we friends or are we not?
You told me once but I forgot.
So tell me now and tell me true,
So I can say....I am here for you.
Of all the friends I've ever met,
You're the one I won't forget.
And if I die before you do,
I'll go to heaven
And wait for you.




  Doctors Notes On  
Patients Charts:


* Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left
side for over a year.

* On the 2nd day the knee was better and on the 3rd
day it disappeared completely.

* She has had no rigors or shaking chills, but her
husband states she was very hot in bed last night.

*The patient has been depressed ever since she began
seeing me in 1993.

* The patient is tearful and crying constantly.
She also appears to be depressed.

* Discharge status: Alive but without permission.

* Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year old male, mentally
alert but forgetful.

* The patient refused an autopsy.

* The patient has no past history of suicides.

* Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital.

* Patient's past medical history has been remarkably
insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the
past three days.
* Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia
for lunch.

* She is numb from her toes down.

* While in the ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.

* The skin was moist and dry.

* Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.

* Patient was alert and unresponsive.

* Rectal exam revealed a normal size thyroid. (OUCH!)

* She stated that she had been constipated for most
of her life, until she got a divorce.

* I saw your patient today, who is still under our
car for physical therapy.

* Both breasts are equal and reactive to light
and accommodation.

* The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.

* The patient was to have a bowel resection.
However, he took a job as a stockbroker instead.

* Skin: Somewhat pale but present.

* The pelvic examination will be done later on the floor.

* Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. X,
who felt we should sit on the abdomen and I agree.

* Patient has two teenage children, but no
other abnormalities.

* Patient appears responsive, but unable to
communicate with me.

* Bladder is under control, but cannot stop urine
from seeping.

* Heart problem is fixed. Patient died at 10:07 this morning.

* Complains of chest pain occasionally. Otherwise just a pain.

* Patient is always telling me about her pains and problems.
This remains a significant pain to me.

* The blood workup showed no antibodies present.
Need the rest of the blood to be sure, however.

* If it weren't for the fact that the patient is dead,
I would say he was in perfect health.

* Breast enlarged beyond belief. Upon extensive
examination, found signs of at least one saline implant
in each breast. Further examination is required.



It takes strength to be firm
It takes courage to be gentle.
It takes strength to stand guard.
It takes courage to let down your guard
It takes strength to conquer.
It takes courage to surrender.
It takes strength to be certain.
It takes courage to have doubt.
It takes strength to fit in.
It takes courage to stand out.
It takes strength to feel a friend's pain.
It takes courage to feel your own pain.
It takes strength to hide your own pains.
It takes courage to show them.
It takes strength to endure abuse.
It takes courage to stop it.
It takes strength to stand alone.
It takes courage to lean on another.
It takes strength to love.
It takes courage to be loved.
It takes strength to survive.
It takes courage to live.

Author Unknown









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