Marge Keigher's Humanity page!

Death Of An Innocent

I went to a party, Mom, I remembered what you said.
You told me not to drink, Mom, so I drank soda instead.
I really felt proud inside, Mom, the way you said I would.
I didn't drink and drive, Mom, even though the others said I should.
I know I did the right thing, Mom, I know you are always right.
Now the party is finally ending, Mom, as everyone is driving out of sight.
As I got into my car, Mom, I knew I'd get home in one piece.
Because of the way you raised me, so responsible and sweet.

I started to drive away, Mom, but as I pulled out into the road,
the other car didn't see me, Mom, and hit me like a load.
As I lay there on the pavement, Mom, I hear the policeman say,
the other guy is drunk, Mom, and now I'm the one who will pay.
I'm lying here dying, Mom. I wish you'd get here soon.
How could this happen to me, Mom? My life just burst like a balloon.

There is blood all around me, Mom, and most of it is mine.
I hear the medic say, Mom, I'll die in a short time
I just wanted to tell you, Mom, I swear I didn't drink.
It was the others, Mom. The others didn't think.
He was probably at the same party as I.
The only difference is, he drank and I will die.

Why do people drink, Mom? It can ruin your whole life.
I'm feeling sharp pains now. Pains just like a knife.
The guy who hit me is walking, Mom, and I don't think it's fair.
I'm lying here dying and all he can do is stare.

Tell my brother not to cry, Mom. Tell Daddy to be brave.
And when I go to heaven, Mom, put "Daddy's Girl" on my grave.
Someone should have told him, Mom, not to drink and drive.
If only they had told him, Mom, I would still be alive.
My breath is getting shorter, Mom. I'm becoming very scared.
Please don't cry for me, Mom. When I needed you, you were always there.

I have one last question, Mom, before I say good bye.
I didn't drink and drive, so why am I the one to die?

Unknown

The Old Fisherman

Our house was directly across the street from the clinic entrance
of Johns Hopkins Hospital in Baltimore. We lived downstairs and
rented the upstairs rooms to out patients at the clinic.

One summer evening as I was fixing supper, there was a knock at
the door. I opened it to see a truly awful looking man. He had
a stooped, shriveled body hardly taller than my eight-year-old.
But the appalling thing was his face it was lopsided from swelling,
red and raw.

Yet his voice was pleasant as he said, "Good evening. I've come to
see if you've a room for just one night. I came for a treatment
his morning from the Eastern Shore and there's no bus till morning."
He told me he'd been hunting for a room since noon but with no
success; no one seemed to have a room. "I guess it's my face.
I know it looks terrible, but my doctor says with a few more
treatments.

" For a moment I hesitated, but his next words convinced me:

"I could sleep in this rocking chair on the porch. My bus leaves
early in the morning. "I told him we would find him a bed, but to
rest on the porch. I went inside and finished getting supper.
When we were ready, I asked the old man if he would join us.

"No thank you. I have plenty. "And he held up a brown paper bag.

When I had finished the dishes, I went out on the porch to talk
with him a few minutes. It didn't take long time to see that this
old man had an oversized heart crowded into that tiny body.

He told me he fished for a living to support his daughter, her five
children, and her husband, who was hopelessly crippled from a back
injury. He didn't tell it by way of complaint; in fact, every other
sentence was prefaced with thanks to God for a blessing.

He was grateful that no pain accompanied his disease, which was
apparently a form of skin cancer. He thanked God for giving him
the strength to keep going.

At bedtime, we put a camp cot in the boy's room for him. When I
got up in the morning, the bed linens were neatly folded and the
little man was out on the porch. He refused breakfast, but just
before he left for his bus, haltingly, as if asking a great favor,
he said, "Could I please come back and stay the next time I have
a treatment? I won't put you out a bit. I can sleep fine in a chair."

He pause a moment and then added, "Your children made me feel at
home. Grownups are bothered by my face, but children don't seem to
mind.

"I told him he was welcome to come again.

And on his next trip he arrived a little after seven in the morning.
As a gift, he brought a big fish and a quart of the largest oysters
I had ever seen. He said he had shucked them that morning before he
left so that they'd be nice and fresh.

I knew his bus left at 4 a.m. and I wondered what time he had to get
up in order to do this for us.

In the years he came to stay overnight with us there was never a time
that he did not bring us fish or oysters or vegetables from his
garden. Other times we received packages in the mail always by special
delivery - fish and oysters packed in a box of fresh young spinach or
kale, every leaf carefully washed.

Knowing that he must walk three miles to mail these, and knowing how
little money he had made the gifts doubly precious. When I received
these gifts, I often thought of a comment our next-door neighbor made
after he left that first morning.

"Did you keep that awful looking man last night? I turned him away!
You can lose roomers by putting up such people!

"Maybe we did lose roomers once or twice. But oh! If only they could
have known him, perhaps their illnesses would have been easier to bear.
I know our family always will be grateful to have known him. From him
we learned what it was to accept the bad without complaint and the
good with gratitude to God.

Recently I was visiting a friend who has a greenhouse. As she showed
me her flowers, we came to the most beautiful one of all, a golden
chrysanthemum, bursting with blooms. But to my great surprise, it
was growing in an old dented, rusty bucket. I thought to myself,

"If this were my plant, I'd put it in the loveliest container I had!"

My friend changed my mind. "I ran short of pots," she explained,
"and knowing how beautiful this one would be, I thought it wouldn't
mind starting out in this old pail. It's just for a little while,
until I can put it out in the garden."

She must have wondered why laughed so delightedly, but I was
imagining just such a scene in heaven.

"Here's an especially beautiful one," God might have said when he
came to the soul of the sweet old fisherman. "He won't mind starting
in this small body.

"All this happened so long ago-and now, in God's garden,
how tall this lovely soul must stand

"The LORD does not look at the things the way man looks at things.
(Author unknown)

ANSWERING MACHINE MESSAGES

Are you bored with that tired old "We're not home right now,
please leave a message but." Well here are some novel new
messages for you to try. It will both amuse your friends and
family, and keep them wondering...
1) Hi. This is John:
If you are the phone company, I already sent the money.
If you are my parents, please send money.
If you are my financial aid institution,
you didn't lend me enough money.
If you are my friends, you owe me money.
If you are a female, don't worry, I have plenty of money

2)"Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his
refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your
message to myself with one of these magnets."

3) "Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of
receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows,
or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. They give to charity
through the office and don't need their picture taken. They are
also VERY happy with their current phone service. If you're
still with me, leave your name and number and they will get back
to you."
4) The College Special.
A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons
is why we're not here. So leave a message.

5) "If you are a burglar calling to check, then we're probably at
home cleaning our weapons right now and can't come to the phone.
Otherwise, we probably aren't home and it's safe to leave us
a message."

6)"Hi. I am probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like.
Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you."

7) "You have reached the CPX-2000 Voice Blackmail System.
Your voice patterns are now being digitally encoded and stored for
later use. Once this is done, our computers will be able to use the
sound of YOUR voice for literally thousands of illegal and immoral
purposes. There is no charge for this initial consultation. However
our staff of professional extortionists will contact you in the near
future to further explain the benefits of our service, and to arrange
for your schedule of payment. Remember to speak clearly at the sound
of the tone. Thank you."

The Lunch

There once was a little boy who wanted to meet God. He knew it was
long trip to where God lived, so he packed his suitcase with Twinkies
and a six-pack of root beer and he started his journey.

When he had gone about three blocks, he met an old woman. She was
sitting in the park just staring at some pigeons. The boy sat down
next to her and opened his
suitcase.

He was about to take a drink from his root beer when he noticed
that the old lady looked hungry, so he offered a Twinkie. She
gratefully accepted it and smiled at him. Her smile was so pretty
that the boy wanted to see it again, so he offered her a root beer.

Once again she smiled at him. The boy was delighted! They sat there
all afternoon eating and smiling, but they never said a word.

As it grew dark, the boy realized how tired he was and he got up to
leave, but before he had gone more than a few steps, he turned around,
ran back to the old woman and gave her a hug. She gave him her biggest
smile ever.

When the boy opened the door to his own house a short time later,
his mother was surprised by the look of joy on his face. She asked
him, "What did you do today that made you so happy?"

He replied, "I had lunch with God." But before his mother could
respond, he added,

"You know what? She's got the most beautiful smile I've ever seen!"

Meanwhile, the old woman, also radiant with joy, returned to her home.
Her son was stunned by the look of peace on her face and he asked,
"Mother, what did you do today that made you so happy?"

She replied, "I ate Twinkies in the park with God." But before her
son responded, she added, "You know, he's much younger than I expected."

God is like COKE: He's the 'Real Thing'!

God is like Pan Am: He makes the going great!

God is like General Electric: He lights up your Path!

God is like Bayer Asprin: For He works wonders!

God is like Halmark Cards: He cares enough to send the VERY BEST!

God is like Tide: He gets stains out that others leave behind!

God is like VO5 Hairspray: He holds in all kinds of weather!

God is like Dial soap: He cleans you through and through!

God is like Sears: He has Everything!

God is like Alka-seltzer: Try Him, you'll like Him!

God is like Scotch tape: You can't see Him, but, you know He is there!

The Hole In One

Moses, Jesus, and an old bearded man were out playing golf one
day. Moses pulled up to the tee and drove a long one. It landed in
the fairway but rolled directly toward a water trap. Quickly Moses
raised his club, the water parted and it rolled to the other side
safe and sound.

Next, Jesus strolls up to the tee and hits a nice long one
directly toward the same water trap. It landed directly in the
center of the pond and kind of hovered over the water. Jesus
casually walked out on the pond and chipped it up onto the green.

The third guy gets up and sort of randomly whacks the ball.
It heads out over the fence and into oncoming traffic on a near by
street. It bounces off a truck and hits a nearby tree.
From there it bounces onto the roof of a nearby shack and rolls down
into the gutter, down the spout, out onto the fairway and right
toward the aforementioned pond. On the way to the pond, it hits a
little stone and bounces out over the water and onto a lily pad

Suddenly, a very large bullfrog jumped up on the lily pad and
snatched the ball into his mouth. Just then, an eagle swooped down
and grabbed the frog and flew away. As they passed over the green,
the frog squealed with fright and dropped the ball that bounced right
into the hole for a beautiful hole in one.

Moses then turned to Jesus and said, "I hate playing with your Dad."