They are among us right now. They want to keep us off
the Net, destroy our modern computers and take us back
to the dark ages of punch cards and the IBM 704. There
might be one with you right now, looking out at the
world from the other side of your screen. And they're
ready to kill. You can help us fight against such a
deadly foe. Read and learn. Watch and pray. Check
your system for signs of the...

Net Ghosts

Since the days of the TMRC at MIT the High Priesthood of the Hulking Giant have been waiting for their chance to regain the upper hand. By the time of the first West Coast Computer Faire it looked like we had finally beaten them.

But now the war has spread to the Net...and it's coming to you! If you read this all is not lost, we can defeat them and triumph in these perilous times. Take care!

How to Spot a Net Ghost in Action

Netscape crashes for no reason (now you know why it does that);
It seems like your ISP's user to modem ratio is about 6million : 1;
Bill Gates appears on your screen and invites you to try MSN.

How to Rid Yourself of a Net Ghost

Exorcism using sound card, CD-ROM and desk lamp instead of bell, book and candle;
Blame it on the consultants (they're in league with the Devil anyway);
Sacrifice two inflatable plastic chickens - it really works!

How to Keep the Net Ghosts Away

Always wear a white hat and dark glasses when programming;
Don't take 3.5" disks out of their protective plastic cases;
Never drop cookie crumbs between the keys of your keyboard.

You can protect your pages against Net Ghosts by displaying the image below.

Please mail me if you do so I can keep a list of safe pages to visit.

Guaranteed to prevent even the most determined attack of electronic ectoplasm.

Now go quickly to the comparative safety of Moosejaw's house in the woods.