Note: FM is Fox Mulder, JR is Janet Reno, and AK is Alex Krychek. It's really not Janet Reno it's the guy on SNL who plays her, it is how ever really is the actors who play FM and AK. Scully makes and aperiance breifly, but it's only a person pretending to be her. FM, AK, And Scully belong to Chris Carter, Ten Thirteen and 20th Century. This skit belongs to the creatures of SNL as well as the owners which I don't happen to know. Sorry!!! Janet Reno belongs to herself. Enjoy!!!!!! Oh and spelling isn't a big thing with me so no making fun. :-)

(FM is sitting in his office at FBI headquarters at his desk typing on a lap top)

FM: A new ally has joined me in my fight to uncover the truth, to break the web of governmental deceite and conspiracy. This ally who I believe maybe operating at the highest level of government, has until this point reamined anonymous. Tonight I will meet at last this man who until now I have known only as a husky voice on the telephone, and by his code name of all things Deep Throat. (Knocking on door) Who is it?

Person behind door: It's me Deep Throat.

(FM gets up and opens door)

FM: At last the man I've been waiting to meet.

Person who knocked walks in and removes coat: Man take another look at this body.

FM: Janet Reno!?

JR: Maybe....... Okay, yes. Now let me help you pick your jaw up off the floor.

FM: I can't believe your the one sending me these messages. The alien cover-up must reach that high up.

JR: Alien cover-up what do I have to hit you over the head with a board. I was coming on to you.

(They move over to desk and sit on it)

FM: Are you trying to deny that your messages weren't about extra-terrestial life? Waht about when you said I want to show video tapes of Aliens.

JR: Aliens is one of my favorite movies. I thought you could come over and we could watch it and have bree.

FM: What?!?!? (Looking shocked and confused)

JR: I also have Welcome Home Roxie Carmichele.

(FM gives her a stange 1/2 surprised 1/2 disbelieving look)

FM: You also said that somedody in the Justice Department wanted to give me a UFO. Now that couldn't be more clear. It's about UFOs.

JR: Oh Great! Then you wouldn't mind if I treat you to an Unbelievable Ferious Orgasim.

FM: Come on. Uh. What about I ..I.. I.. (stuttering) want to ah give you the oppertunity to examine ah out of this world boooodyyy. (It dawns on him) Oh okay now I'm starting to get it.

(JR puts hand on FM's thigh)

JR: By the way. ( JR touches FM's face anf trails hand down his body) That offer still stands.

(FM removes JR's hand)

FM: So to meet me you went so far as to send me messages and to take a code name. Deep Throat. (FM says incrediously)

JR: Code name H***. Deep Throat was my old serority nick name. (She stands up)

FM: (He stands up) Look Janet, I have never met you in my life I don't understand why tou would persue me like this.

JR: Oh Mulder (touches his face) ever since I saw you at thst Justice Department picnic I haven't been able to get you off my mind.

FM: (It dawns on him) That's right I remeber seeing you there too. You ate like 60 pancakes didn't you? Yeah I remember that. You had a crowd around you chanting Janet Janet Janet!!!!

JR: Okay i like pancakes lets move on. Anyway, ever since I since that day I've kept an exstensive file on you. (She picks it up off of FMs desk and opens it. She reads) Special Agent Mulder First name: Fox. (she looks up) I'll say Hieght: A delicious 6 foot 1 Wieght: 185lbs of ground A chuck Then I just wrote Mrs Janet Mulder about 300 times (hands it to FM) You see?

FM: Yes I see it? Listen I'm flattered JAnet but am I'm married to my work plus I'm really really into pornography.

JR: Who isn't?

FM: Well, I hope there's no hard feelings, but if you'd excuse me my parnter Scully is about to join me

JR: Scully! I have a file on that pouty lipped ice queen to. She's always Oh I'm so skepical about that, No I'm sure there's a reasonable scientific explaination for that. If I ever see her I mo (don't ask i have no idea what that word is. I've been trying to fix their screw-ups in dialoge when they said it on TV but this one it beyond me) do my karate on her. Ow!!!

Scully: Mulder I'm skeptical about you conclusion here. I'm sure there's a reasonable scientific explanation. (enters the room with a file that she is reading)

(JR who turned at the sound of Scully's voice proceeds to kick hert in the head. There is much screaming, files file. Scully lands in a heap on the floor)

FM: Scully! (runs to her side)

JR: Thank-you meajie( she bows towards addiance) she'll be alright it won't be the first time she's woken up with a headache and a few bruises. What's that Scully you want mo stuff. Ow!!! (Lifts leg in the air.)

FM: Hey! Hey!(gets up pointing at JR angry) Now you've gone to far get out.

JR: Alright, but before I go. (JR kisses FM for a full 30 seconds and throws him on the desk as she steps away)

FM: Oh my God!(Dazed on the desk) That kiss! It feels like there's a flying saucer in my pants.

JR: Oh Yeah? Well to bad Foxy you ahd your chance. Anyway I all ready have my own sweey piece of FBI meat. Oh Krychek.

(AK walks in and puts arm over JR)

AK: Come on Janet baby lets roll.

FM: Krychek No! (FM pushes himself off the desk)

JR: Alex is with the real FBI the Female Body Inspectors. (runs hand down own body)

AK: Yeah yeah Anyway see you later Mulder

FM: (angry) I'm not going to let you steal her from me.

(FM punches AK many times)

AK: uh wait up with that (He falls to the floor)

JR: (Grabs FM) Big mistake my friend (punches FM in face FM lands on desk)

Fm: Oh!!!

JR: (helps AK off floor) lets go honey. It's okay. (holds AK back as he lunges at FM) No, it's okay your with me. (AK leaves room JR looks down at Scully who's still in a heap on the floor) Sweet dreams whore! As for you Mulder (looks at FM on desk) LIVE FROM NEW YORK IT'S SATURDAY NIGHT!!!!!!!!!