You are X-Phile number to visit this site.

>>You know you are an X-phile when…

You know you're an X-phile when... 
-you write scripts/stories and publish them on the internet
-you write NC-17 rated scripts/stories and publish them on the
internet
-you write scripts and send them to Chris Carter
-you write NC-17 rated scripts and send them to Chris Carter in a
perfumed envelope
-you watch with a bag of sunflower seeds and a glass of root beer Big
bonus sound file!
-you renamed your dog Queequay
-you refuse to date anyone who doesn't watch the X-files
-your dream date includes watching the X-Files
-your dream date is named Bambi
-you have all the episodes in tape, in order, with all commercials
edited out 
-you have the X-files theme for your startup music
-you use the X-files background, screen saver, icons, and pointers
-you have 100+MB of sound files you dubbed in from the show 
-you dub sound files and publish them on the internet
-you go to conventions and buy $100+ of crap -you go to conventions to
find dates
-you know the details of everyone at Roswell 
-you ask your PHriends over to watch the X-files 
-you go out to dinner with your PHriends and only talk about the
X-files
-you used to have friends, but they've decided that you're just too
PHile for them 
-you drive a half an hour to go catch toads so you can say toads just
fell from the sky
-you tell your friends that they're going to be Lone Gunmen 
-your friends tell you that you're going to become a Lone Gunman 
-you tell your friends that you'll be a Lone Gunman if you can have a
Lone Gungirl
-you visit the Shrine of the M&STDs daily
-you hurry online every Friday to post on the Shrine of the M&STDs
-you're an 8th grader at Breck with a 10th grade brother who is
friends with the author and your nickname is Corey (yes, there are
actually two)
-you buy alien barrettes and name them Captain Ahab, Quegquay, and
Starbuck (yes, she does exist)
-you complain when the other Corey hasn't given you your Captain Ahab
back (could I make this up??) 
-you make a letter necklace with your initials, &, and DD. ("but there
ARE dolphins...")
-you don't realize that this page is making fun of philes
-you've always hated customizable card games (i.e. Magic) but you
can't wait for the Fall 1996 arrival of the X-Files Interactive Card
Game
-you actually call yourself a phile 
...you get pulled over by a cop and use the excuse that a psychopath
with a brain tumor willed you into running the red light...
...you're a police officer, and you accept this excuse... 
...you spend more than 3 hours a week trying to get that perfect Scully
color hair (hold the presses, it hasn't happened yet!)...
...you buy a handgun simply to match the one used by Scully and/or
Mulder... 
...you use only "Q" target posters while shooting…
...you mourn the loss of a spiritual sister who was murdered by rogue
FBI agents, even though you are an only child...
...you wear reading glasses like Scully's while at the computer, even
though you see worse with them on...
...your friends start calling you "spooky"...
...you are getting laid for the first time in 7 months and you stop
when a commercial for the X-Files comes on...
...you don't know the answer to a question so you mutter to your self
"The truth is out there, the truth is out there." As if this answers
the question... 
...you name yourself after Gillian Anderson's daughter{Piper}... :)
...your room looks like a religious shrine with an X-Files motif...
...your teeth start aching, and you could swear that bump on the back
of your neck wasn't there yesterday... ...you subscribe to more than
ten X-Files newsgroups around the world... 
...you think of the X-Files every time you see a bright flash of
light... ...you stay up all night to write a "You know you're an
X-Phile when..." list...
...you dress up like an FBI agent and go out, just to see what it
feels like...
...all your dreams start with something like -Large grassy field San
Diego, CA 10:21 p.m... ...they end with a voice over... 
...you get a dog and name it Clyde Bruckman... 
...you have all your younger siblings believing that they are in fact
the result of the government's experiments at creating the perfect
alien/human hybrid...
...you think you are an alien/human hybrid...
...you think the government tracks you because you know all about the
`secret tape' and what's behind door number 1013...
...your idea of fun is freeze framing each X-Files episode to try to
determine and scientifically calibrate Gillian Anderson's size
(actually this makes you a nutcase!)... 
..you think you have a secret informant, they just haven't revealed
themselves yet...
...you've been arrested for trespassing on the set of the X-Files in
Vancouver... 
...you encourage people to name all their children and pets after
X-Files characters, like you have...
...you become a raving lunatic every Friday right around the time you
wake up...
...your hate for Kathy Lee Gifford and David Letterman becomes an
obsession...
...you refuse to watch the episode "3" because it is the only one made
without Gillian Anderson in it... ...you write "He is One" on your back
in red ink, and wander around early in the morning to scare your
family...
..you call people you know who smoke "cancer man" or "cancer woman"...

...you know the birthdays AND times of both Gillian Anderson and David
Duchovny, AND of Scully and Mulder... 
...you know Scully's middle name... 
...you know her id number... 
...you have tried to get a copy of Scully's senior thesis "Einstein's
Twin Paradox: A New Interpretation"... ...you refer to Scully and
Mulder as if you know them... 
...you refer to them as if they are real... 
...you feel as if your world has been turned upside down and then back
right side up every time Scully and Mulder touch, smile at each other,
or talk about drooling on each other... 
...all the windows in your house have large masking tape X’s on them.
Not only that but you're actually expecting an envelope to be slipped
under the door and won't sleep or turn off the light until you do
although, you do admit to sunflower seed hangover the next morning... 
...you see a Nike commercial saying Just do it and you go and tell your
Doctor that the government has drugged you into a murdering zombie... 
..."X-Files is a category in your budget...
...you live in Amish country and you find yourself wondering where
they hide their spacecraft’s...
...you buy a package of Mulder's sunflower seeds even though you hate
the things...
...you see a XXX Film and think XXX Files, three episodes... 
...you start humming the opening score in public and don’t feel
self-conscious...
...you want just to believe... 
...you and your boyfriend put on your trench coats and call each other
Mulder and Scully...
...you can recall Scully's breast size in your sleep...
...you're getting on a bus (in Virginia, no less) and you check out
the other passengers for large, suspicious looking boils on the sides
of their f aces... 
...you go into the computer lab at 10:00am to write a final paper,
finish it, decide to check you're e-mail before going back to the dorm,
sit down and look at the clock that says 8:30pm on it and the first
thing that pops into you're head is I was abducted by aliens and lost
time...what would Mulder say?
...you go to the UMASS library for the first time and notice a sign
saying Skinner Hall and think X-Files!...
...on the night it airs you make sure you have no plans and you have
enough room left on your almost full X-Files VHS tape...
...upon seeing a post that Whirlwind is out, you drop everything and
race to all the bookstores within walking distance...
...you're walking back to your dorm and see a FedEx package in the
garbage outside and you instinctively walk a large circle around it... 
...you ask the guy you're absolutely infatuated with how tall he is,
and he answers "6 feet" and your first thought is "Hey! that's how tall
David Duchovny is exactly!"...
...you won't go NEAR a port-a-potty... 
...you are reading a serious science article, you come across a
reference to GABA (It stands for gamma-aminobutyric acid), and your
first attempt to decipher the acronym begins Gillian Anderson. 
...you travel to Vancouver just so you can get a glimpse of David
Duchovny...
...when every time you walk by someone who says the x-files sucks, you
either give him/her the finger, or yell something at them while
throwing your soda at them. Yes, it's happened. I even got kicked out
of a restaurant once... 
..when you see someone with really nasty acne and run the other way
screaming about bug infestations in their face
...Everyone around you gets a fatal disease except you, then you catch
it, and somehow manage to find a cure all in the course of an hour. ..
..you walk past 30th St. Station and are seriously watching out for
people who seem afraid of their own shadows... 
...the only reason you stay home on Friday night is to watch T.V. and
you don't ever watch anything else on T.V. ever...
...you believe people that work at the animal shelter are involved in
a government cover-up. .
..you stay out of other people’s shadows...
...you remember you always tried to get away from your shadows when
you were younger, and now you realize why... 
...you consciously avert your eyes from the checkout register before
the LED display changes from "$13.95" to "KILL THEM ALL"... 
...when you have to write a creative story for English class, and the
first names that pop into your head are: Fox, Dana, Chris and Glen...
...you see a cassette tape on the dashboard of your car and call the
FBI... 
...when you get a friend to stand behind a door while you and a couple
other friends try to recreate the shadow effect in the opening scene.
[Editor's note: In reference to Dark Matter episode] After about 15
minutes you do it and the patient friend behind the door confirms that
it IS in fact, remotely, possible to have that shadow slip under the
hotel room door... 
...your driving down the street, the radio stops and the first thing
you do is stop and look into the sky... 
...you suddenly cancel all summer plans to enroll in an intensive
Navajo language class... ...your legal first name is Dana and everyone
gives you the nickname "Scully"... 
...you see people who have taped their windows up in preparation for a
hurricane, your first thought is "They're trying to contact Mr. X!... 
...you take your new calculus professor to be a GREGOR and spend the
entire lecture considering what would happen if you pierced the base of
his skull...
...you steal your neighbor's newspaper every morning for an entire
week- just to cut out the "Fox Trot" comic, and replace it on their
doorstep as if nothing had happened...
...you deny that you had anything to do with the big hole on the
comic’s page of your neighbor's newspaper, and suggest it must have
been a government conspiracy...
...you wake up in the middle of the night with a nosebleed, and insist
to be taken to the hospital for an X-ray... 
...you decorate your room and workplace with assorted pictures of
Mulder and Scully. .
..you create a new folder in your filing cabinet labeling it
"X-Files"... 
...you compulsively read and respond to articles posted in
Alt.tv.x-files, and go through withdrawal symptoms when you can't get
to the computer... 
...you change the message on your answering machine to "Hi, this is
Dana Scully. Leave a message and I'll get back to you as soon as I
can."- In Gillian Anderson's voice from the episode "Colony"...
...you spend all ten of your allocated e-mail hours downloading
anything with reference to The X-Files or seeking new X-Files links for
your Home Page..
. ...you go to the public library with the intent of checking out all
of the X-Files magazine articles you have missed, and are planning to
scan the pictures...
...you purchase three copies of the X-Files featured TV Guide on the
first day it comes out... even though you know your subscription copy
will be there in two days...
...your friends abandon you, your roommates think you've been
brainwashed, and your family institutionalizes you for rambling
endlessly about last Friday's episode... 
...someone at work says, "I'm so glad it's Friday!" and you respond
with, "Yeah, it looks like it's going to be a great episode!" Then they
give you this baffled look- and you can't figure out what their problem
is... ...your watch stops and you get all happy about it!...
...finally, you know you're an X-Phile when... you dedicate the
greatest portion of your Home Page to Fox’s best television series!!...

...you find it impossible to look at a flask without thinking of monkey
pee... 
...one of your favorite pastimes is watching the new episodes trying to
spot the guest stars that have been in old episodes before your friends
do... 
...you consider yourself to be on a first name basis with at least one
of the producers/directors/stars of the show even though you've never
met... 
...you recognized more than three people whom went up to the podium to
accept The X-Files' Golden Globe Award...
...you watch the previews for the next week's episode frame by frame
on your VCR..
. ....you see pornography in a whole new light...
...When you meet new people, you drop phrases like "I don't usually
watch The Tonight Show, but I did see it the other night when David
Duchovny was on," hoping to draw other Philes out into the open... 
...you find yourself defending the movie "Beethoven."...
...you set up your VCR by 8:30 on Friday, then spend half an hour
psychically willing "Brisco/Mantis/Sliders/VR5/Strange
Luck/Sliders"(again!) to be over... 
...you can incorporate the phrase "yatta yatta yatta" into almost any
sentence...
...you have more than 50 XF pictures on your computer... ....you have
more than 50 XF sounds on your computer...
...you wish you had more of both... 
...you have seriously considered moving to Vancouver, even though you
are perfectly happy where you are... 
...you call every video store within 100 miles looking for "New Year's
Day," "Julia Has Two Lovers," and "Home Fires Burning."
...you compliment Perry Reeves' acting ability to prove you're not
jealous, but secretly wince when DD sticks his tongue down her throat
in "3."
...you knew Gillian Anderson was pregnant before TV Guide did...
...you think Fox would be a great name for your son...
...you always tape the intro just in case Chris Carter decides to
throw in a new catch phrase... 
...you noticed one of the headstones Mulder and Scully passed in
"Irresistible" read RAYMOND SOAMS, and you got the joke... >>