The author retains the right
of copyright, and requests that any people
wishing to repost this work of fanfic on their sites, or other usenets,
please
contact her at the above e-mail address... no reproductions without
permission,
please, as this story is already posted in its original form on the
author's
personal archival, listed above. Archiving in any alt.startrek.creative
archive
is ok. whether it be modified erotica, or just your basic creative
archive
site... if Katie Redshoes, or one of the other archivists would just
e-mail me
to let me know if it was being archived or not so I could track fan
mail, that
would make my literary day...for archival purposes, I do intend to
condense all
parts of this story into one part. I believe it makes the archivist's
task
simpler. =Þ Kudos goes out to Katie Redshoes, whose job
has no doubt been a
trying one, and we think she's been doing a terrific job!
Yea and verily, I say unto
you: Paramount is demi-god of the Trek World...
and all the fanfic people are little minions, forced to hide underground
with
their (brilliant?) works of art based on the terrific series. No original
episode has been copyright-infringed, yaddah, yaddah, yaddah.... and
Paramount/Viacom can kiss my derry-aire....lol (sorry if it's spelled
wrong,
but French was never my strong suit...)
The story is based on the
song by Reba McEntire, "Forever Love." When I heard
that song, I knew that I just HAD to write a Riker-Troi romance. It
is set
right before the StarTrek-9 movie was even a twinkle in its creator's
eye....
just assume that Star Trek: Insurrection never took place, and we'll
be the
best of friends, ok? btw, i'm writing from experience here... lol
Anyway, if
you don't like country, tough nuggies... it's not like I'm holding
a classII
phaser to your left temple and forcing you to read it... Now, enough
chitchat... on with the song...
(very mild romantic angst gives the story its rating, along with mild
profanities and dramatic flashbacks. Anything I've left out, I'm sure
Katie
Redshoes will inform you about...)
************************************************************************
"Forever Love" by Reba McEntire
The first time I laid my eyes on you I knew,
We'd spend this life side by side.
I still feel the same, though you're so far away.
I swear that you'll always be mine,
Forever love,
I promise you.
Someday we'll be together,
Forever love.
I won't give up,
No matter what.
I'll be waiting for you,
Forever love.
Minutes and hours and years may go by,
But my heart knows nothing of time.
So don't cry, just keep me right there in your dreams,
And hold on to these words of mine:
Forever love,
I promise you.
Someday we'll be together,
Forever love.
I won't give up,
No matter what
I'll be waiting for you,
Forever love.
(repeat)
Love is a road to our destiny.
Nothing can change what is meant to be.
Forever love.
Oh, I won't give up,
No matter what.
I'll be waiting for you,
Forever love.
I'll be waiting for you
Forever love.
=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=
"Forever Love"
by Kella
Synopsis: Will and Deanna were lovers, but for the past 13 years,
they've
simply been good friends. But nobody knows the strain Will has put
himself
through, caused by guilt of a relationship gone awry. Deanna soon discovers
that Will's mental health depends on the depth of her feelings for
him....
=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=
>> **Do you remember what
I taught you, Imzadi? Can you still sense my
thoughts?**
Shock. Pure, unadulterated
shock. Then loneliness. That heartbreaking,
world-ending loneliness. Then, full-circle, right back to shock. Pure,
terrifying shock. There was nothing like it in the universe, and it
had him by
the proverbial balls. That gut-wrenching feeling had him, and it didn't
look
like it was going to let him loose. He wanted the deck to open up and
swallow
him whole.
How could she be so damned
calm about this? She just stood there, not
listening to Picard but appearing to, while she stared at him with
those
luminescent dark eyes of hers. He knew she was probing his feelings,
trying to
ascertain his level of shock. Hell, he doubted anyone needed to be
an empath to
detect it, he was damned sure he wasn't hiding his consternation too
well. He
looked over to Picard. The Enterprise captain seemed to be guessing
that
something was afoot between his two new crewmembers, but didn't say
anything to
them about it. For this, Riker was thankful.
"Have the two of you met
before?" was all the older man said.
He could feel her laughter,
clear as a bell, inside his head. Damn that woman,
she was laughing. She was obviously enjoying this, he thought. "We
have, sir,"
he replied, trying to keep the sturdy dam that was holding back a flood
of
memories in place.
"Excellent," Picard went
on. "I consider it important that my key officers
know each others'...abilities." Riker looked to him askance. The captain
knew
something was afoot. Just how much had she told him, anyhow?
Deanna Troi looked to the
man standing between her and her former lover. "We
do, sir. We do." **Indeed...** she finished mentally. Riker looked
at her
dejectedly.
Did she know what she was
doing to him? All he was aware of as he continued to
stare at her was that Picard and Troi were moving to the nearest turbolift,
and
that he was plainly expected to follow. His life was sure to be plain
hell from
this moment forward, because he had never been fully able to bury this
remnant
of his past. And yet, here it was, right in front of him, reopening
a fresh
wound just to watch it bleed. Then, he heard her voice, lilting into
his mind,
as the doors to the turbocar slid home.
**I, too, could never say
goodbye, Imzadi...**
**Oh, God,** he thought.
His tour on the Enterprise, he was sure from that
point on, was bound to be a hell of a long one.<<
=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=
Riker woke up in a cold sweat.
His sheets were drenched with perspiration, and
he was breathing heavily. Another memory, another flashback. He'd not
been able
to dodge them for the past thirteen years, it only made sense that
he'd
encounter them here. But, why in hell couldn't he leave them behind?
Insomnia
didn't become him, and he was grappling with emotional trauma daily
now. Things
had been tough on the -D, but his life was downright impossible here
on the -E.
He couldn't go to the ship's counselor because of the obvious reasons.
So, here
he sat, in bed, with no way to fully deal with his past but to try
and ignore
it.
It didn't work. But then
again, nothing ever did. Maybe he could go to Beverly
for a sedative that would induce a dreamless sleep. But Beverly and
Deanna were
good friends. Good friends talk to one another about various things.
He didn't
want to become one of the various topics in their friendly conversations
during
aerobics.
Therefore, through sheer
pride (and fright), he remained in his state of
insomnia. Forced to dwell on the past and what might have been. What
should
have been. What he didn't do enough to prevent from happening in the
first
place. What he gave up. And most of all, not what... but who was sleeping
down
the corridor from him, driving him crazy on a nightly basis.
Or at least, he was under
the impression that she was sleeping...
=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=
Deanna Troi paced the length
of her bedroom. She too was battling insomnia.
One could guess from her expression which was winning. Someone was
driving her
crazy. Someone who shouldn't be driving her *anywhere*, let alone insane.
She
rubbed her temples. She hadn't felt this kind of headache since awakening
from
her tequila-induced slumber, in a seedy bar, back in the year 2063.
She stopped
pacing and sat on the edge of her bed, taking a moment to remember.
>>"Who is this jerk?" Zefram
Cochrane slurred as he hurled a bottle across the
room, in Will Riker's general direction.
Deanna slowly shook her
head, trying to clear the fuzz that seemed to have
invaded her brain. "Will Riker, meet Zefram Cochrane." She wanted to
fall
asleep, without falling off her barstool, into the waiting arms of
the lewd
Cochrane.
She allowed herself a small
smile as the shock errupted on Riker's face.
Confronted with one of his childhood heroes, the most historically
represented
figure in Federation lore, Will was disturbed to discover that the
man was no
more than a boozing womanizer. Even through her liquor-hazed senses,
she could
easily detect the jealousy emanating from Riker as he noticed the moves
Cochrane was making on her. That was when he noticed he was projecting,
erected
the shields around his mind, and was blocked off from her from that
point on.<<
Deanna sighed, as she tried
once more to read his thoughts. He had been the
only man she had ever formed that close a link with that she could
read his
exact thoughts. Now, it was severed. He barely even spoke to her in
the halls
now, except on the way to a staff meeting. Even then, it was none of
the
comraderie she had come to expect from her closest and dearest companion,
the
man to whom Beverly came a close second in terms of friendship.
She sighed. Her definition
of how she felt about him had blurred over the
years. When they had first started serving on the Enterprise-D together,
she
had been so hard and bitter from their experience those years ago.
Then, as the
time she spent with him grew, so did her feelings for him. She had
had to
constantly remind herself that a relationship while on the same ship
could go
sour and ruin things for both of them. Then there had been that brief
affair
with Worf.
Worf.
Deanna paused from her musings
of Will to turn her attention to the Klingon
officer. Poor Worf. He had gotten married to Jadzia Dax, and Alexander
had
gotten a stepmother, last year. Just recently, the Enterprise had gotten
word
that Worf was now a widow, Jadzia having been murdered by an insane
Cardassian
named Dukat. The symbiont had been saved, of course, and had been transplanted
as soon as possible. The lucky Trill ensign was, ironically enough,
a counselor
on Deep Space Nine now. Poor Worf was doing his best to avoid her,
at his last
subspace transmission to Troi.
Troi sighed again.
The men her life. One of
them was hurting and she couldn't help him. The other
was hurting too, but could heal on his own, through time. She couldn't
help
Will. She knew he was hurting, but she didn't know how or why.
His thoughts were closed
to her now, though she didn't know what she had done
to deserve this treatment. She could read very few emotions. The ones
she was
able to detect were sadness, loneliness, and despair. She wanted to
go to him,
but wasn't sure if that was the best thing. He had obviously locked
her out of
his personal life, and she was at a loss as to what might have triggered
such a
response from him.
She wondered if he was dreaming
of her.
She was under the impression
that he was sleeping at all.
=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=
Jean-Luc Picard tapped his
fingers on the edge of his ready room desk. He
looked at the screen of his computer terminal, not happy with what
he was
seeing. It was forty-five minutes before Will was due for the beginning
of his
shift. Picard shouldn't have been in his ready room at all, it being
that his
shift started three hours after Will's did. But Picard, too, was suffering
a
sleepless night. He had explained to Data of his affliction when he
arrived on
the bridge, and, after assuring the now-emotional android that he was
not here
to relieve him of duty, he was allowed to proceed to the privacy of
this room
without further inquiries from Data.
On the terminal, Picard
saw data streaming by. He tapped the keyboard every so
often to pause the scrolling by of the text, and to read some of it.
The text
contained the results of Riker's latest psychological examination.
Picard and
the others had been pressured to undergo similar examinations, at the
behest of
Starfleet Headquarters. HQ didn't want deranged heroes on their hands.
Deanna
had had hers and had passed with flying colors. Picard had been pronounced
sound of mind and judgement, and hardly a word had been said of the
fact that
he had committed a direct violation of orders by coming to the aid
of Earth.
Worf was judged as best
as the Federation could judge a warrior race, whose
thoughts were predominantly about the various ways of killing other
living
things. Geordi was judged and given a clean psychological bill of health,
as
were Beverly and her nurses. Reg Barclay had to spend two weeks in
therapy,
recovering from a direct meeting with the Great Zefram Cochrane.
Will Riker... was shown
to be hiding something from his evaluator. Will showed
all the signs of being depressed, having anxiety attacks, and a mind-meld
had
encountered sophisticated Betazoid mental shields. There was obviously
something that he was hiding from his friends and superiors. The only
information they had been able to glean from Riker was that he had
trouble
getting to sleep at nights.
Picard knew there was much
more to it. Lately, Riker had been late for shifts,
meetings, and crew evaluation reports. He had grown more detached and
non-responsive as time went on. Jean-Luc had noticed this for himself,
but had
grown more concerned when Beverly had brought it to his attention.
He had
contacted Deanna about it. She had suggested a counseling session for
Will.
Picard had relayed the request to Will Riker. The first officer had
politely
refused.
Something was definitely
amiss....
=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=
>>"Goodbye, Will." She walked
out of the room without looking back.
Riker stood there, staring
after her. "Deanna... don't leave things like this.
You know I can't say goodbye."
It didn't hit him then,
that his future was walking out that door with her.
But he blamed himself for it every day of his life that would follow.
It was
his fault.<<
Riker bolted straight up
in bed, once again from a nightmare of memories. He
couldn't take this anymore. The constant fear of the memories resurfacing
in
his sleep, when he could find it. Sedatives didn't help, and his shift
performance had a lot left to be desired.
His shift....
"Oh, shit..." He mumbled
various profanities as he groggily went about getting
ready for a shift that, according to the chronometer, he was already
twenty
minutes late for. "Oh man, what will Deanna think of me?" This thought
brought
him to a screeching halt, in the midst of his preparations. "Deanna?
Dee
couldn't give a rat's ass about me now. Not personally. Only as a friend."
He
punched the bulkhead in front of him.
So hard that it shattered
the outer bone of his hand.
He grabbed his hand, yelping
in pain. "Damnit," he cursed, trying to comb his
hair and beard as best he could with his left hand. "It's my fault
anyway," he
said aloud to himself. "If only I hadn't been such the hotshot, not
willing to
settle down. Now, look at me. I've lost her. Just like I'm losing my
mind." He
looked to the bulkhead that had inflicted so much damage to his hand,
after his
unprovoked assault upon it. He was mildly pleased to see that it had
sustained
a dent. A dent rimmed with blood. His blood.
He grabbed his uniform jacket
with his left hand, and stormed out in his red
turtlneck and uniform pants. His shoestrings were untied, and he was
attracting
curious stares from the crew as he passed through the halls. He entered
a
turbocar. "Sickbay," he barked to the computer. The doors slid shut
and the
'lift was off to its destination, with Riker trying to put on his jacket
with
one hand, also trying not to aggravate the bleeding injury on his right
hand.
He stormed through Sickbay's
entrance, receiving a baffled stare from Nurse
Alyssa Ogawa. "Is there something wrong, Commander?"
"Yeah, there is," he barked.
"Where's Beverly?"
"I'm right here," came the
CMO's voice from across the room. She appeared two
seconds later, a newborn baby in her arms. "Here, Alyssa. Hold her
for me?" The
nurse gratefully took the infant and disappeared from sight, leaving
Bev with a
thoroughly disgruntled Will Riker. The doctor in her assessed him thoroughly,
from his bleeding hand, to his irritability. "Well, Will," she said,
getting a
protoplaser from the medkit nearby. "What should we work on first?
Your hand,
or your acrimonious attitude?"
Riker took a deep breath.
"Just heal the hand, Beverly."
Beverly complied, giving
him a look. "What did you do, Will? Get into a fight
with a bulkhead?"
"Basically," he mumbled,
wincing as the protoplaser finished mending the bone
inside his hand. When she was done, he gave it a quick shake, although
it was
still sore, he felt well enough to show for duty. "Thanks, Bev," he
said under
his breath. He headed towards the corridor.
"Will?" Beverly called after
him and he turned. She pointed at his feet. "Tie
your shoes, Commander."
=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=
"And in your belief, the
commander is no longer a competent member of the
crew?" Picard voiced the words, even as he felt his stomach churn at
them. The
decision he was about to make would condemn his first officer to relief
of
duty, as well as endless sessions with Counselor Troi until he had
returned to
his old self again.
"That's right, Jean-Luc.
Something's wrong with Will, but he won't let anyone
near him." Beverly looked as if her hands were tied.
"Deanna, can you..." he
started.
Troi cut him off. "He won't
let me read him." She paused, then began again.
"Captain, the bond that Will and I shared was so great that we've been
able to
read each other's thoughts. Now, however, he's developed shields around
his
mind. I can barely tell at times whether or not he's conscious." She
shrugged
in frustration. "I don't know why he's blocking me. Perhaps he does,
perhaps he
doesn't even know himself. I strongly suggest that Will come in for
counseling.
Until then, he's no good to the crew."
Picard knew how hard those
words must have been for Deanna to say. Will's
performance *had* been waning lately. The senior staff was lucky if
he made an
appearance at all at times. Just then, the conference room doors opened,
and in
stepped William T. Riker. He looked significantly worse for wear, his
eyes were
bloodshot, and his uniform wasn't neat as it was when the *old* Will
used to
wear it. This Will barely had the uniform jacket on, the turtleneck
wasn't
tucked into his pants, and--according to Beverly-- his shoes *still*
weren't
tied.
"Sorry, I guess I'm late,
Captain," he mumbled as he took his customary chair.
"What did I miss?"
Deanna looked at him, not
with pity, but with yearning. Oh, how she wished to
help this man that was her imzadi, her first love, her only soulmate
in the
universe. She looked to Picard, who cleared his throat.
"Will, it has come to my
attention that you require some, how shall I put
this, facilitation."
Will looked balefully at
Deanna, who managed to keep her face a mask of
detachment. "This was your idea, wasn't it, Dee?"
She didn't answer.
The anger welled up inside
him, though deep down he knew it had no logical
focal point. Nor was his intended target Captain Jean-Luc Picard. But
that was
exactly the person he blew up at. "So, what are you saying? That I
can't take
care of myself? I can take care of myself just fine!"
Beverly cleared her throat,
and attempted to inconspicuously point out to
Riker the status that his shoelaces were in. He ignored her.
Deanna leaned forward, "That's
not what we're saying, Will..."
He cut her off. "Oh, don't
give me that, Deanna. You'd do anything to get me
on that counseling couch of yours and give me a good talking to." He
rose,
rather rigidly, and almost knocking over his chair. "Well, you're not
getting
into my head. Not like that!"
Picard had had enough. What
was happening to his trusted first officer? "Will,
calm down," he began.
"But, Captain, don't you
see what she's trying to do? Oh, we can't be any more
than friends, but we can be doctor-patient, now, can't we?" Will was
now
bordering on hysteria. Beverly sat on the edge of her chair, preparing
to
sedate him, if necessary.
Picard's nerves snapped.
This was getting to be more than he could tolerate.
"Number One, it is in the opinions of both Counselor Troi and Doctor
Crusher
that you be pronounced mentally incapable until you agree to seek help
and
treatment." He lowered his voice to a dangerous level, knowing that
he now had
Will's full attention. "And I am personally relieving you from duty
until such
criteria are met. Do I make myself clear?"
"Mentally incapable?" Will
barked. "On what grounds?"
Picard stood from his chair
and slammed his palms on the conference table,
startling Troi. "On the grounds that you're standing here, half-dressed
and
thirty minutes late for duty-- for the fifteenth day in a row-- and
you're
standing here screeching like an idiot! Good God, look at yourself,
man!" He
pulled Will's head down so that he was gazing into his reflection in
the
obsidian surface of the table. "*Look* at yourself!" He released him,
his tone
softening. "Where is my first officer? Where is my friend that I have
known for
the past nine years, Will?" He walked to the viewports, turning his
back to the
other three, including the disturbed Riker. "Get some help, Will. I
need that
trusted Number One that I've had for so long. I need him back, now.
You're no
good to anyone as you are."
Will looked to Deanna, and
was consternated to see a tear rolling down her
cheek. But, in his present state of mind, his judgement was clouded.
He lowered
his voice to bare inaudibility, and said determinedly, "Then I'm no
good to
anyone." With that, he bolted out of the room.
Picard sighed deeply, turning
to Troi. "Deanna, anything?"
"Captain, his mental shields
are degrading, I can feel it. But that may be a
sign that his mind may be also." Deanna cried inwardly, in frustration
and
sadness. What was she supposed to do?
She cried out with her mind,
**Let me help you, Imzadi....**
Meanwhile, three decks below,
Will Riker was in his quarters and about to
attempt the unthinkable...
=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=
"Beverly..."
Doctor Beverly Crusher turned
to face the owner of the voice. Deanna stood
directly behind her, hands clasped in front of her. Bev thought she
looked
particularly vulnerable. "Yeah, Dee?"
Troi gestured to the exit
of the conference room. "Would you walk with me? I
need to talk to you."
A corner of the doctor's
mouth quirked upward slightly. "Does the counselor
need counseling?"
"Yes, she does," Deanna
replied somberly.
"It was a joke, Deanna."
"Oh."
Beverly sighed, looking
behing them. "Jean-Luc?"
Picard didn't answer immediately,
preferring instead to stare out at the
stars. Only after Beverly's third summons of his name did he partially
face
them. "Yes?" he asked quietly.
"Will you be all right?"
Beverly's concern was evident in her voice, but
Picard waved her off gently.
"I'll be fine, Beverly.
I just need to think, that's all."
Crusher smiled understandingly.
"If you need to talk, I'll see if I can fit
you in..."
Picard smiled wanely. "Thank
you, Doctor." With that said, he turned back to
the stars. They seemed to be his only source of comfort nowadays.
Crusher sighed, turning
to the conference room exit. "Deanna, let's talk."
"What I don't understand
is why Will has been blocking me out. Why he won't
let me transmit my thoughts to him. It seems as if he's systematically
shutting
me out of his life. I have to know why."
Beverly and Deanna were
walking down the corridor of the Enterprise, heading
for the mess hall, where they were sure to run into Guinan. The ubiquitous
bar
hostess was not about to let Ten-Forward's destruction separate her
from the
legendary crew, her friends. She had signed aboard right after the
recent
battle with the Borg, claiming she had waited until after the attack,
so that
she might spend more leisurely time with the crew, rather than have
to watch
any more death; she claimed to have known the attack was coming. For
all the
Enterprise crew knew, she did.
Bev looked to Deanna. "Why
don't you ask him, Dee?"
"I can't do that," Deanna
shrugged helplessly. "What would I say? And what
about those random comments he makes in regards to our past?" It was
becoming
more and more apparent to Beverly how upset this was making Deanna.
"Bev, I'm
worried sick about him, but from the few emotions I can read from him,
I know
he'll never believe me." She sighed. "Not in his present state of mind."
Beverly stopped in the middle
of the corridor, which was fortunately empty--
she wouldn't have moved out of anyone's way, anyway. "Deanna, listen
to me very
carefully: You asked if he was systematically shutting you out of his
life?
Well, what if he is? And perhaps those little quips about your past
romantic
life are his way of telling you he's no longer content with the way
your life
is? Think, Dee. Men are typically emotional retards, you of all people
should
know this. But not Will." Deanna remained silent, mulling this over,
and Bev
forged ahead. "You are the empathic one. You have the degree in psychology.
You
of all people on this ship should be the one diagnosing Will's psychological
state, not me. And I can't sense either of your thoughts, so what do
you want
me to do?"
Deanna sighed. "But those
comments about our relationship... He knows that
we're just friends. We're *imzadi*, but that doesn't mean we have to
be
lovers."
"No, you don't have to be,
but do you even want to, Deanna? *That's* the
question."
"The risk is much too great,
Beverly. Will wouldn't be able to commit."
Beverly interrupted her
friend. "Deanna, you must have been in a fog the past
nine years. I don't know if you've realized this or not, but our Commander
Riker has changed significantly during our years together. If he were
still the
same Will that you knew on Betazed, would he have turned down all those
promotions to captaincy? From what you've told me of your past, you
make it
sound as if Riker were a 'love 'em and leave em' kind of guy. Maybe
you'd
better give him a closer look, now. He's not exactly the brash young
man you
purported him to be when we first met."
Deanna was silent.
"Look me in the eyes and
tell me that I'm wrong. In fact, look me in the eyes
and tell me truthfully that you *don't* love him back." Beverly's jaw
was set.
Troi was not backing out of this one.
Troi looked up at her. "Beverly,
I don't know anymore." Her eyes were tired.
Bloodshot, even. Her cheeks were pink and swollen from crying. "I know
I love
him as a friend, and I know I'd never live with myself if anything
ever
happened to..." her voice trailed off.
They had resumed walking
a couple of minutes ago, so Beverly didn't
immediately notice that Deanna had stopped dead in her tracks until
she was no
longer speaking. When Crusher turned around, Deanna was dead-white,
looking as
if she had just seen an apparition.
"Dee? What is it?" Beverly
shook her shoulders.
And, staring straight through
Beverly as if she weren't there, Deanna
screamed.
=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=
When the emergency medical
team met Beverly and Deanna in Will Riker's
quarters, the sight that greeted them was shocking. Beverly got right
down to
business, barking orders for hyposprays full of antidotes. She ordered
a crying
Deanna Troi to continuously wave the tricorder over Riker's insensate
form.
By the time they got the
anti-grav up to his quarters and got him down to
Sickbay, the verdict was clear. Employing the use of synaptic charges
and basic
CPR, Beverly tried desperately to save Will's life.
"Breathe Will! C'mon, goddamnit!
You are not leaving this world until you've
had a full life and tons of babies... now breathe!"
After fifteen minutes, Beverly
logged it in. Will was given a permanent wing
in Sickbay. The log read: Will Riker, living. Status: coma. Cause:
attempted
suicide by poison.
=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=
(End: part 1 of 5)
"Forever Love"
=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=
========
Newsgroups: alt.startrek.creative
Subject: REV/REP: "Forever Love" (R/T, PG-13, TNG, 2/5)
From: trekr4life@aol.com (Trekr4Life)
Date: 28 Jan 1999 03:43:06 GMT
--------
SUBJECT: New:"Forever Love" (R/T, P/C, TNG, PG-13, 2/5)
AUTHOR: Kella
CODE:: R/T, P/C
SERIES: TNG
RATING: PG-13
PARTS: 2 of 5
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
-------------------------------
Disclaimers in part 1....
~~~~Kella~~~~
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
-------------------------------
Synopsis: Will and Deanna were lovers, but for the past 13 years,
they've
simply been good friends. But nobody knows the strain Will has put
himself
through, caused by guilt of a relationship gone awry. Deanna soon discovers
that Will's mental health depends on the depth of her feelings for
him....
=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=
"Forever Love" by Kella
(part 2/5)
=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=
Picard was paged from the
conference room by an almost hysterical Deanna Troi.
The message was clear, from what he could make out through her tears.
Come to
sickbay immediately, something's happened. When he entered Sickbay,
he saw a
crowd of doctors and nurses around a biobed and Troi standing off to
the side
in tears. He walked to her, placing his hands gently on her shaking
shoulders,
in an effort to console her. He regarded such as being beyond his power
to
grant, however, as he already knew the situation before Troi could
explain.
When the activity around
the biobed lessened somewhat, and one of the nurses
moved out of the way, Picard was able to tell for certain who the form
on the
biobed belonged to: the bearded face belonged to William T. Riker.
A couple of
minutes later, Picard watched as Beverly and the others breathed partial
sighs
of relief. It was clear he wasn't out of the woods yet, the look in
Beverly's
eyes told that there was something wrong that shouldn't have been.
But Will was
alive.
That, in itself, was enough
for Deanna, who exhaled loudly and broke into
tears of relief. The sheer trauma of the whole situation was too much
for her
to handle in her typical stoicism. Beverly waited until Deanna's sobs
had
subsided before motioning the two of them into her office. Upon the
door
shutting behind them, Beverly walked to the window, where she had a
clear view
of Riker's unmoving form.
"The commander," she began
slowly, "is in a coma. But, I can't find a reason
for it. Medically, we've done all we can. The poison hadn't been in
his system
too long, we were able to formulate an antidote quickly enough, thank
God. So,
physically, he should be fine." She turned to face Deanna. "It is my
belief
that Will doesn't *want* to come out of his coma."
Picard looked surprised.
"Why would he not?"
Beverly shot him a look.
"Well, he was willing enough to attempt suicide. It
only stands to reason that he wouldn't want to come back to the reality
he's
known. Something in his life was so depressing for him, he obviously
wasn't
able to handle it, or simply didn't want to." She turned to Deanna
again. "Dee,
you're the counselor. You're also the person closest to him. You said
yourself
that you two shared a telepathic link of some kind. Maybe you can help
him work
through this. Bring him back?"
Deanna looked at her helplessly.
"But, Beverly, he blocked his mind off from
me. He won't let me even *think* to him. It's like he doesn't want
any part of
me. How am I supposed to help him if I can't *read* him?"
"You said earlier that his
mental shields were degrading. Wouldn't they be
that much weaker when he's unconscious?" Crusher pressed.
Picard looked to Troi. "Counselor?"
A tear slid down her cheek
as she responded. "I'll try my hardest, Captain."
And Picard knew that she
meant it, not only as a professional counselor, but
from the bottom of her heart and her soul. From the well of the feelings
left
over from her affair with Riker so many years ago. Feelings that still
were
there, but she still had yet to realize they hadn't disappeared yet.
=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=
Later, after Sickbay was
observing "ship's night", Deanna Troi could be seen
sitting at Riker's side. She had long ago exhausted her supply of tears,
and
now was silently sitting there, attempting to punch through the shields
that
Riker had habitually erected around his mind. Sickbay was empty, save
for the
two of them, and Bev in her office, and still Deanna couldn't concentrate
hard
enough for her telepathic link with Riker to be at its peak. Beverly
had been
right: Will's shields were in a weakened state, but they were still
difficult
to get around.
*Will? Can you hear me?*
she sent desperately. *If you can hear me, answer me,
please...* She wasn't sure, but if she had to describe the picture
that formed
in their thoughts, she would have described it as a scared little man
poking
his head out from a crack in a door, afraid to greet the outside world.
*Go away, Deanna.*
The supply of tears replenished
itself as joy overwhelmed her. *Oh, Will.
Please, don't do this...*
*Do what, Dee?* His thoughts
sounded inside her head with a sarcastic ring to
them. *Whether I choose to live or die, it is still my choice. Why
should you
care, anyway?* Physically, Will Riker gave an infinitisimal shift on
the
biobed, but still did not awaken.
*What?* Deanna mentally
shook her head. *What would make you say that? I'm
your friend, Will. I've always been your friend....*
*And that's all you're going
to stay. So, _friend_, what do you want to talk
about?*
*What do you mean, that's
all I'm going to stay?*
*Oh, I don't know, Dee.
Someday, I'd hoped you'd graduate from 'friend' to
become my mother,* came the biting retort. *Come on, Deanna. Whaddaya
_think_ I
mean?*
*Why do you have to be so
cruel?* Deanna pleaded.
*_I'm_ being cruel? I've
been asking, no, begging to start something up again
and...* his thoughts trailed off.
Deanna sensed that the "little
old man" was about to duck back inside and lock
the door behind him. *Will, no! Wait!*
*Just leave me alone.*
And the door slammed shut.
=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=
When Beverly came by, expecting
to see a solemn Troi, what she found was a
half-hysterical Deanna, weeping inconsolably.
=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=
>>"We will always be together,
*Imzadi*. We will never be truly be apart. But,
I believe, we can never truly be together, either. You will never be
happy
settling down, Will. It is better this way."<<
Deanna awoke with a start.
She looked around quickly, realizing that she had
fallen asleep in sickbay. Beverly was standing across the room from
her, and
looked up, somehow sensing that Deanna had awakened. She walked over
to her.
"Good morning, Dee," she
said, pseudo-cheerfully. "Feeling better?"
"What am I doing here?"
was the first question out of the tired counselor.
A look of confusion flitted
across Bev's face. "You cried yourself to sleep on
one of the biobeds last night. I thought it best not to wake you, you
looked
like you needed the rest."
Deanna checked the chronometer.
"What time is it?" Her brain cleared, and the
numbers on the display began to make sense to her. "Oh, no. I'm late,
aren't
I?"
Crusher smiled, shaking
her head. "It's okay, Deanna. I told Jean-Luc you'd be
late for duty this morning. That attempt to reach Will last night must've
really taxed you."
Deanna buried her head in
her hands, partially out of exhaustion, but mainly
out of sorrow. "It didn't end at being simply an *attempt*..." she
muttered.
Crusher moved closer to
Troi, stealing a glace at the unmoving form of Riker
next to them. "You mean you *talked* to him? Telepathically, I mean?"
"Only briefly." Deanna brought
her face up to look at the man lying in front
of her. "He was very bitter. I can only speculate as to why."
Crusher remained silent
for a few moments as Troi seemed to mentally puzzle
out what she could remember of her conversation with Commander Riker.
"He made
several cruel remarks to me..."
"Cruel? Will?" Bev looked
at her in skepticism and worry. "Deanna, how far
gone *is* he?"
Troi shook her head. "Pretty
far, Beverly." Then she was silent for a moment.
Beverly stared at her until suddenly Deanna burst out crying. Crusher
put her
hands on the other woman's shoulders to comfort her.
"Deanna, you're becoming
stressed out over this. I know it hurts to see Will
like this, but..."
Deanna cut her off. "No,
Beverly, you don't understand. I *know* why he's like
this..."
Bev looked at her silently
while she waited for Deanna to finish. Finally,
"Well? Why has Will suddenly cut himself off from the outside world
and tried
to end his own life?"
When Troi finally met Crusher's
eyes, there was infinite sadness in her own.
"Because he loves me." She turned her gaze back to the still form of
her former
lover, troubled friend.
The silence in Sickbay was
punctuated only by Troi's moanings, "It's all my
fault..."
=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=
"Because he loves her?" was
Picard's reply.
Beverly looked at him in
solemn confirmation. "That's what she said, Jean-Luc.
And from the start, you know that's what we already knew." She crawled
across
their bed to get an extra pillow, the gold band on her left ring finger
catching the glimmer of the overhead lights. She looked at her fiancee.
"You
and I both know how things with Will and Deanna have been since they
met again.
Touch and go, at best. Especially where romance is concerned."
Jean-Luc shrugged. "But
I was under the impression that they had remained good
friends all this time."
"We all had been. I doubt
even Will and Deanna knew how their emotions were
resurfacing. Deanna's a trained Betazoid psychologist. She knows exactly
how to
bury past emotions, even subconsciously if she has to."
Picard sighed. "But Will
is another problem. He's loved her so much, he can't
hide it anymore, and when it looks like there isn't a snowball's chance
in hell
of her reciprocating, he decides he can't handle it anymore."
Beverly nodded. "I just
don't know how long Deanna can afford to remain
superficially convinced that she loves him only as a friend."
Picard smiled wanely. "Maybe
she'll discover on her own." He gathered the
soon-to-be Beverly Picard in his arms. "Bev, love, I think I'll remove
her from
active duty for a while. Just until Will comes back to us and is whole
again.
Deanna too, for that matter. What do you think?"
"I think it's a good idea."
She kissed him as she wriggled away and off the
bed, preparing to walk to the replicator. "I also think I'm hungry."
Picard smiled. "Good, replicate
us both a snack, would you?"
"Who said anything about
you?" she asked playfully.
Jean-Luc chuckled as she
went to get the food. The humor behind their smiles
was thinning underneath the plain fact that they were scared of losing
a
friend.
Beverly winced as her hind
quarters wakened with the pins-and-needles
sensation every human hated. She and Jean-Luc had been sitting here
talking for
gods-knew-how-long. They shared equal worries. They shared equal fears.
They
shared equal sides of the bed.
=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=
He was unconscious, that
much was a given. He was in a coma, that much was
also a given. What was *not* a given was the fact that he was *aware*.
He
dreamed. He heard. He understood. He could not, nor had he the intention
to,
speak.
He was dreaming now.
In his dream, she was with
him, silent. She never spoke, but remained there
with her back to him. This Riker had already deciphered: Whenever the
*real*
Deanna Troi communicated him from the outside, her dreamlike counterpart
would
embody her thoughts.
Right now, Riker was pacing.
"Well?" he snapped at her. "You don't have an
answer for *that* question, do you?" Riker had asked her why she could
draw a
line between her heart and his for so long that her emotions for him
would
atrophy. She had not responded. He didn't care. "Well? Answer me, damnit!"
He
didn't expect a response.
But he got one.
She turned around to face
him, tears in her eyes. "I'm here, Will. Why have
you been blocking me?"
Riker shook his head and
laughed bitterly. "Blocking you? I've never blocked
you, Dee. You severed the link, not me."
She shook her head. "That's
not what happened. I haven't been able to read you
at all lately, and you never answered my mental sends. The psyche evaluator
even said, and I concur, that you established Betazoid-type mental
shields."
She smiled. "How you managed that is quite a mystery, considering you're
not a
telepath."
He looked at her deeply,
before turning away. "Only when I'm with you."
Troi, who in reality was
sitting across from Will's bed in sickbay gripping
his hand tightly, had received her notice from Picard that she was
removed from
active duty until such time as Will was back and to his normal self.
She had,
over the past fifteen hours since, examined her feelings for Will.
She was in a
precarious position: She loved him, but she would not allow herself
to create a
dependence on her love from within Riker. Neither could she withhold
that love
from him, not letting him know how she felt before it was too late.
Such things must be dealt
with delicately.
Meanwhile, Riker was walking
away slowly. She propelled her dreamlike
counterpart forward to follow. "Will?"
"What is it, Dee?" He wasn't
looking at her, but at a group of children
playing beneath them. They all bore the same resemblence to one another,
as if
they were siblings, and both boys and girls were among the playful
group.
Deanna and Will were standing on a grassy hill, overlooking a valley
where the
children were playing. Looking at them, then at Will, then at herself
(which
was odd, but possible, considering that she wasn't actually there,
but reading
his thoughts and responding. She was simply a counterpart in his mind...),
she
realized with a start that the children all bore striking characteristic
resemblances to herself and Will Riker. He sighed wistfully as he watched
them
play.
"Will, in your thoughts,
those are *our* children, aren't they?"
He looked at her in resignation.
"Yeah. They *would've* been." He continued
walking. "There won't be any now."
*How do you know, Will Riker?*
she thought to herself.
He turned to face her. "I
know because I've tried everything I know how to..."
he trailed off. He returned his direction, quickening the pace.
She hurried to keep up.
She was startled when he replied to what she thought
was a private musing. Then she remembered what he had said a few short
moments
ago. >>*Only when I'm with you...*<< "Will?"
His shoulders hunched, as
if he had suffered severe blows and was now a
nervous creature. "What do you want, Deanna?"
"I want your attention."
He refused to turn to face
her. "Well, looks like you've got it. I've got
nowhere else to go."
Troi wisely kept any retort
out of her mind, lest he pick up on it. "Will,
look at me."
"Why?"
She walked over to him and
placed her hands on his shoulders (all of this
inside his mind, of course), and turned him half-way around. "Because
your eyes
are the windows to your soul. I want to see your soul, Will Riker."
For the first time since
she had contacted him, he locked his eyes onto hers.
"Well?" he asked skeptically. "What do you see in my soul, Deanna?"
She waited a few seconds
before saying gently, "Love."
Will's eyes brimmed with
tears as he turned away. "I could have told you
that."
She grabbed hold of his
arm and held him from leaving. "Will, I wanted to know
it for myself."
Riker sighed. "Knowledge
is power, Dee." He turned to her. "What are you going
to do with that power, is the question." He wrested his arm from her
grip.
"What does anyone do with power, but corrupt it?" He turned from her.
"How
could you know what I feel, truly?"
As he walked away, and the
scene around their thoughts grew darker, she called
after him, "Will, am I really worth doing this to yourself over? Would
you
really kill yourself, just because you're afraid I won't love you?"
He looked at her once before
she was escorted out of his mind. "You shouldn't
even have to ask that," he said softly.
"Will!" she screamed into
the darkness.
*Yes, Imzadi?*
*I love you... I love you,
Imzadi. Please believe me....*
Silence, then, *How can
I?*
The anguish that filled
Deanna's soul was almost too much to bear. *Oh, God,
Imzadi, what have I done? What have I done?...*
=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=
Deanna, in sickbay, looked
around the room. Beverly had been sitting there
monitoring them with a medical tricorder. She was positively astounded.
"Dee!"
Deanna Troi looked at her.
"What, Beverly?"
"The readings on Will's
synapses while you were talking to him! It's almost...
well their activity suggests everything about him that would make him
conscious. But he's not."
Troi smiled with no humor.
"Yes, it's quite a puzzle, isn't it, Bev?" She
stood, stretching. "Well, I suppose, in a sense, Will *is* conscious...
but he
also refuses to wake up."
Crusher knew what was coming.
"It's not your fault, Deanna. You didn't know."
Troi whirled to face her,
anger and self-recrimination evident in her voice.
"That's where you're wrong, Beverly. I *did* know. I've known for the
past
*nine* years." Her voice softened and a solitary tear made its way
down her
cheek. "I just didn't trust."
Crusher went to her, embracing
her and lending her support as it was needed.
The counselor proceeded to tell Beverly as much of what she saw in
Will's mind
as she could before breaking into tears.
"Oh, God, *Imzadi*..." Troi
wailed. "What have I done?"
=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=
Inside the mind of Will Riker...
He heard every word of their
conversation. He knew that they didn't think that
he could hear them. But he could. In his mind, Troi's words still rang...
>>"Oh, God, *Imzadi*...
What have I done?"<<
Insanely enough, he couldn't
respond. For the one time in his life when he
felt able to tell Deanna what he really felt, he wasn't able to. It
was then
that the folly of his actions hit him.
*I tried to take my own
life.* He thought in amazement. *I alienated everyone
I ever loved and whoever loved me. And for what?*
The image in his mind of
Deanna Troi, her beautiful face marred with
tear-tracks, crying over him, made him want to weep himself.
*Oh, God, Imzadi,* he thought.
*I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.*
And, looking at what was
holding him back from the world, he began to
fight....
=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=
Lwaxana Troi woke up rested.
She had been tired of watching the holochannels
that Betazed had been broadcasting lately, and had retired early the
previous
evening. She went downstairs, mentally summoning Mister Homn to prepare
her a
pot of hot chocolate, a craving she and her daughters had picked up
from her
late husband, Ian Troi.
Kestra.
Lwaxana sighed. She would
never get over losing her oldest child. It was a
pain she would live through for the rest of her life. But she thanked
Deanna
for helping her deal with the pain she had hidden in her soul for so
long. Poor
Deanna, she only found out she had an older sister just prior to the
destruction of the Enterprise-D
Lwaxana realized with a
start that she hadn't received her weekly letter from
Deanna for the past three weeks. It wasn't like Deanna to forget, no
matter how
angry she might be at her mother. Lwaxana sat at the breakfast table
and nodded
a thank you to Homn, who had placed her cup of chocolate in front of
her as she
had sat down. Homn slowly walked off as Lwaxana took a sip of her hot
chocolate
and checked her message terminal, hoping for a message from Deanna.
Nothing.
Worried, she reached out
to Deanna with her mind. She wouldn't be able to read
her child's thoughts at such a great distance, but she would be able
to sense
her state of mind. She persevered in searching for Deanna's emotions
until she
finally found the tendrils of thought that were her daughter's mind.
There were moments of silence
as Lwaxana read and analyzed her daughter's
emotions. Stress, despair, and anxiety. Love. Sadness. Then, she noticed
something else.
"Oh, My Little One!" she
exclaimed aloud. Such a vocal outburst was unusual in
the house, and Mister Homn came quickly, to find Lwaxana standing at
the
windows with tears in her eyes. Turning to Homn she thought cast to
him.
**Pack us up quickly, Homn.
Our baby's in trouble.**
**Yes, Madam.**
=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=
Deanna woke up on a biobed
in Sickbay, for the third morning in a row.
Beverly, for the third morning in a row, walked up to her with a faux
chipper
attitude, telling her that--for the third morning in a row--she had
cried
herself to sleep at Will's side. The only remark that Beverly made
that
distinguished this morning from the past two was, "Oh, and did I mention
that
your mother is coming here?"
Deanna Troi shot up into
a sitting position. "What?"
Crusher looked at her quizzically.
"Lwaxana Troi, Ambassador of Betazed,
Holder of the Sacred Chalice of Riix, Heir to the Holy Rings of Betazed,
Daughter of the Fifth House, not to mention Your Mother, is coming
here...."
Troi stood, stretched, and
paced towards the bathroom. "Yippee."
Bev followed, puzzled by
Deanna's nonplussed behavior. "Dee?"
"What?" Troi mumbled, splashing
her face with cold water.
"I'd thought you'd at least
be happy with the news that your mother is
traversing thirteen sectors just to come see you."
Deanna looked at her. "She's
traversing thirteen sectors to see if I've gotten
married yet."
Crusher crossed her arms
in stubbornness. "Maybe not, Deanna. Has it ever
crossed your mind that maybe, for once in your life, Mom might actually
be
worried about you?"
"Oh, it crossed my mind.
I was always disappointed." Troi crossed to Will's
side again, sitting down on the biobed that she was beginning to call
home.
Crusher brought her breakfast,
and looked at Deanna. "Dee, baby, you haven't
left Sickbay for three days."
Troi looked up at her with
tears rimming her eyes. "And I won't," she declared
defiantly, "until Will is safe and whole again. I won't leave him again."
With those words said, the
discussion was over.
=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=
Inside the mind of Will Riker....
"And I won't until Will is
safe and whole again. I won't leave him again."
Those words rang inside
his head, all the while Riker was fighting his
damndest. It was hard. Whatever had a hold of him had had him in its
grasp for
so long, it wasn't about to give up without a fight.
*Deanna, I love you...*
he thought before plunging into the fray once more...
=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=
END: part 2 of 5
"Forever Love"
=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=
========
Newsgroups: alt.startrek.creative
Subject: REV/REP: "Forever Love" (R/T, P/C, TNG, PG-13, 3/5)
From: trekr4life@aol.com (Trekr4Life)
Date: 28 Jan 1999 03:44:06 GMT
--------
SUBJECT:: New:"Forever Love" (R/T, P/C, TNG, PG-13, 3/5)
AUTHOR:: Kella
CODES:: R/T, P/C
SERIES:: TNG
RATING:: PG-13
PARTS:: 3 of 5
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
-------------------------------
Disclaimers in part 1...
~~~Kella~~~
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
-------------------------------
Synopsis: Will and Deanna were lovers, but for the past 13 years,
they've
simply been good friends. But nobody knows the strain Will has put
himself
through, caused by guilt of a relationship gone awry. Deanna soon discovers
that Will's mental and physical health depend on the depth of her feelings
for
him....
=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=
"Forever Love" by Kella
(part 3/5)
=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=
Deanna woke up with a start.
The nightmares she had been having were growing
with intensity. It wouldn't be so bad if the memories weren't infused
with the
dream. But, somehow, remembering made her nocturnal visions all the
more
frightening.
Looking around, the first
thing she realized was that she was not in Sickbay.
For the first time in the last two and a half weeks, she had not awakened
at
Will's side. She panicked.
Bolting upright in bed,
she screamed. "Will!"
The lights blinked on and
Lwaxana Troi hurried in, followed by a
sleepy-looking Mister Homn. Deanna was hysterical with worry, and so
was only
mildly surprised to see her mother--and her manservant--in her quarters.
Tears
streamed down her face and her breath came in short, abbreviated gasps.
Lwaxana sat beside her on
the bed, rubbing her back gently and making
comforting noises. Homn stood off to the side, hands clasped in front
of him.
"Shh, Little One," the older
Troi murmured. "It's okay." With her mind, she
reached out to Deanna, giving her a lifesaver of calm in a tempestuous
sea of
emotion. **It's all right, Little One, Will is in Sickbay.**
**Mother,** Deanna's mind
whispered back, **I can't leave him. Take me back.**
Lwaxana's brow creased in
worry. **Little One, you haven't left Sickbay since
Will...**
**And I won't,** Deanna
cut her off, **until he's awake and mentally whole
again.**
**Little One, if you continue
to cry yourself to sleep in Sickbay, how long
can _you_ expect to remain mentally stable?**
Deanna's tears stopped,
although her sniffling continued. **Fine, Mother.**
She set her jaw determinedly, and began to think in the shielded portion
of her
mind that her mother couldn't reach. She rose from her bed and began
to dress
herself. Being in a state of relief from duty, she chose off-duty civillian
clothes over her uniform.
She crossed to the lavatory
to brush her teeth and hair, a puzzled Lwaxana
following her. After applying minimal make-up, Deanna put on her sued
shoes and
crossed to her desktop terminal. All this without saying a word to
Lwaxana.
Finally, her mother could
stand it no more. **Little One, what _are_ you
doing?**
**Calling Beverly, Mother.**
**Why are you calling the
doctor? Are you ill?**
Troi smiled cynically at
Lwaxana. **Always, Mother.**
**Not funny, Deanna.**
**The best I can do, Mother...**
Troi punched the code that would connect her
terminal to the one in Captain Picard's quarters.
The screen blinked on and
Jean-Luc Picard answered. "Counselor," he began with
his brow furrowed. "What can I do for you?"
"Captain, sorry to disturb
you, but is Beverly there?"
"She just left for Sickbay,
Deanna. I could page her to your quarters if you
would like..."
"No, thank you, Captain.
I'll meet her there. I need to talk to her about
Will."
Picard nodded understandingly.
"Understood, Deanna. Keep me apprised of his
status, would you?"
Troi nodded sadly. "Of course,
Jean-Luc."
The connection terminated
and Troi silently left for Sickbay, with Lwaxana
scurrying to follow. Having not slept a wink all night, Lwaxana Troi
was
already dressed and ready to follow Deanna around the ship if need
be.
=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=
Beverly stared at Deanna
blankly. "You want to what?"
Troi patiently crossed her
arms across her chest and stared down at Will's
unmoving form. "You said yourself that he's in no immediate physical
danger. He
only requires daily food injections, right? Well, I'm relieved from
duty for
the time being... I could do it."
Crusher smiled. "So you
want to install a biobed in your quarters?"
Troi shook her head. "His.
I'm moving into his for now."
Lwaxana walked over to Deanna
and took her by the shoulders. "Little One, this
is madness! You can't move out of your own quarters! Let Will stay
in Sickbay!"
Troi shook her free and,
in a fit of irrationalism, stormed to the other side
of Sickbay and back again. "No! I won't be separated from him again.
You and
Homn can stay in my quarters. But I'm caring for Will myself."
Beverly shook her head.
"This is crazy, Dee. But, you're right. It wouldn't
hurt him to be taken care of at home. Besides, he *is* taking up space."
She
sighed, and Lwaxana looked positively mortified. "All I ask is that
you let me
come by at least once daily to check up on him."
Deanna smiled. "Agreed."
Lwaxana threw up her hands
and fled the room.
"I'll have Chief Mackenzy
beam Will and the biobed to your quarters, and we'll
have a technician hook it up..." Bev was saying as the ambassador left.
=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=
Counselor Troi's personal
log, stardate 504422.1....<sigh> Day three of my new
nursing postion. For hours and hours on end, after I 'feed' him, I
sit there,
trying to contact him again. My efforts have proven fruitless thus
far, but I
will *not* give up hope! Will needs me, he's in trouble. I *will* get
through
to him. I just don't know how long it will take.
I haven't been sleeping
much. Somehow, the knowledge of our sleeping in such
close proximity to one another prevents me from attaining much rest.
The first
day, I had to get Jean-Luc to help me re-encode Will's quarters to
allow myself
access as well. Beverly and the technicians were here early in the
morning,
installing power conduits in the walls so that they could install the
biobed.
I'm glad Bev was there, because I must've looked a tearful wreck. She
was there
to comfort me, as I must have needed to be.
The transporter chief beamed
the biobed into Will's livingroom later that day.
Funny, I'm having trouble adjusting to thinking of Will's quarters
as my own
now. I feel like such an intruder, like somehow Will's quarters are
telling me
I don't belong here. Crazy, I know, but I can't seem to shake that
feeling.
I've only brought a few of my personal belongings here, so far. My
mother is
making this extremely difficult. She wants me to stay in my own quarters
so she
can keep an eye on me. She loves me and means well, I know, but she
just
doesn't understand how important it is that I do this.
The technicians and Beverly
hooked up the biobed and the technicians left.
Beverly called down to Geordi, asking him to allocate more power to
Will's..my...*our* quarters. Geordi was such a dear about it. He oversaw
all
the pwer flow changes himself, then he came up here to make sure the
technicians did a proper job of hooking up the medical bed.
He gave me a hug, too.
Then, the transporter chief
beamed Will into these quarters onto *his* biobed.
Of course, the transport wasn't completely without a hitch. The last
remaining
technician blushed before fainting dead away. Bev, to her credit, didn't
stare--much. Geordi, the poor man, cleared his throat and turned his
back.
Beverly caught me staring at Will-- or rather, *where* I was staring--
and gave
me a teasing look of admonition. She then called down to the transporter
room
and asked the man there to beam Will's *clothes* over as well.
I smiled, I remember. I
smile as I remember the minor fiasco. I'm only
slightly ashamed at where my attention was drawn, but one could hardly
blame
me. The sight of Will naked has-- so far-- only been in fifteen-year-old
memories. Shall I say, -ahem- his *physique*, among other things, has
definitely improved over the years. After they got him dressed, Bev
showed me
how to feed him by injection, and various other things. After giving
me a
comforting hug, she promised to stop by again the next day-- which
was
yesterday, Day Two-- and left.
I replicated myself a meal
and sat at Will's side all evening, trying to
contact him telepathically as well as speaking aloud to him. Sometimes,
I
almost think I hear him answering me. I feel I may be losing my mind.
Yesterday was day two, and
I hadn't slept at all the previous night. So, of
course, I was awakened at Will's side by a worried Jean-Luc and Beverly.
I
explained to them that I simply slept in. Beverly looked the skeptic,
but
thankfully, Jean-Luc turned her attention back to Will, lying patiently
on his
bed.
I went to shower and dress
and came back to the livingroom to find them still
there. They looked a little uncomfortable, but I quickly was told about
their
concern over their impending widding. Jean-Luc and Bev had already
decided to
postpone it until Will was awake, but were wondering about the fact
that Will
was to be Jean-Luc's best man, just as I was to be Beverly's maid of
honor. I
assured them that I was just as concerned as they--if not more so--
and that I
would find a way to right the situation. The left, I gave Will his
food
injection, and talked to him awhile about things going on around the
ship.
Last night I cried myself
to sleep again.
Today is Day Three, and
I've run out of tears. I just don't have the strength
to cry anymore. I have no regrets of taking this caretaker status,
but I am
beginning to question my usefulness. At first, I had believed that
if Will and
I were left alone together for a long enough time, I could establish
a more
reliable mental link with him and bring him out of this. That ideal
is fading
is the light of the harsh reality that Will might never come out of
this.
Today I have decided to
go to my mother for help. Being a more powerful
telepath, perhaps she can help me in creating that stronger communication
with
Will. It is now time for his food injection.
End log and save.
=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=
Lwaxana rang the chime to
Will Riker's quarters, where Deanna had now set up
residence. The ambassador felt it ridiculous for Deanna to beputting
herself
through such mental trauma. Will was important, no doubt about it,
but Deanna's
mental health was more important to her.
**Maybe I'm just biased
because I'm her mother,** she thought tiredly. There
was no response immediately following the activation of the door chime,
so
Lwaxana rang again. Looking at Mister Homn, who merely shrugged, she
thought-
cast inside.
**Little One, it's mother.
Are you awake?**
**I'm in the shower, Mother.**
**Sweetheart, how am I supposed
to get in?** Lwaxana asked, puzzled.
**Announce your presence
to the computer, and the door system will let you
in.**
**How nice.**
**I thought so.**
"Computer, this is Ambassador,
Lwaxana Troi. Identify," Lwaxana stated in her
primmest of tones.
"Working... Identified:
Troi, Ambassador Lwaxana."
The doors swished open,
revealing a dark living room and a bed with glittering
lights. On the biobed, underneath a blanket, lay a nondescript figure.
Lwaxana
could only guess it was Will. Entering, Lwaxana gestured for Mister
Homn to
follow. "Computer," she called out, "lights." When the lights blinked
on,
Lwaxana was horrified at what she saw.
The figure she had seen
on the biobed had *not* been Will. It had been his
blankets rumpled up on the bed. Will was lying on the floor next to
the bed,
eyes closed, mouth open in a silent cry for help. One arm was outstretched
before his head, in the direction of the lavatory, hand hardened in
a clawlike
grip on the fibers of the carpet. The lights on the display attached
to the
biobed were blinking furiously and a muted alarm had gone off. Will
looked as
if he had been trying to crawl to Deanna.
Of course, in a sonic shower,
Deanna would have been able to hear none of
this. Homn moved to pick up Will, but Lwaxana mentally stayed him,
her hand
outstretched.
**Little One! Deanna! Come
quickly!**
"Mother, I'm coming; what
is..." Deanna had been coming through the bedroom
doors, a clean, new dress on, and the sight that greeted her eyes made
the
remainder of her words catch in her throat. Dropping the glass of water
she had
been holding in her hands, she ran to Will's side.
"Oh, my God! Will!" She
placed her hands lightly on his shoulders, as if
afraid to touch him. "Dear God, Imzadi, speak to me! Imzadi?" She smacked
the
comm badge she wore. "Beverly! Come to Will's quarters quick! It's
an
emergency!"
"I'm on my way," came the
clipped voice of the CMO. Lwaxana and Homn stood
back and watched as Deanna bent her head down to Will's, crying mixed
tears of
relief and sorrow. Will had moved. The question was: in which direction?
=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=
Beverly shook her head in
puzzlement. "I just don't understand any of this."
She turned to Troi and raised her eyebrows. "His brain activity, at
the time he
decided to go for a walk, was off the charts. Now, it's relatively
back to
normal." She smiled at Deanna reassuringly. "All signs say he's out
of the
coma. Have you tried a mental scan, yet?"
Deanna shook her head. "Will's
blocking me somehow. Perhaps I'm not strong
enough..." A light went on over her head. "Mother?" she said, turning
to
Lwaxana, who had (suprisingly enough) remained silent up until now.
"Mother,
could you...?"
A look of sympathy crossed
Lwaxana's features. "Even *I* can't read someone
who's unconscious, Little One."
Deanna looked confused.
"But, I was able to read Will while he was in a
coma..."
Lwaxana smiled wanly. "There
are various levels of consciousness and
unconsciousness, Deanna. What you would describe as a coma would probably
be a
state in which the individual's-- in this case Will's-- mind or brain
had been
traumatized to the degree where they became trapped inside their own
subconsciousness, either voluntarily or against their...will." She
quirked a
corner of her mouth at the miniscule joke.
The younger Troi nodded
slowly. "So," she said, "Will wasn't technically
asleep, but trapped inside a... a mental shell?"
"Or hiding, Deanna."
Deanna, looking down at
her feet, nodded again. "Or hiding." Turning to
Beverly, who was scanning Will again, she asked, "Bev, can you stimulate
him?"
Crusher gave her an amused
look. "How did you have in mind? Remember, I'm
engaged to be married; how would Jean-Luc react?" While Deanna found
herself
caught between laughter and indignation, Beverly consulted her tricorder.
"Besides, I don't need to; he's coming around on his own."
Sure enough, Will's eyelids
fluttered open and he moaned groggily. Deanna
barreled past Beverly so fast she almost knocked the good doctor to
the floor.
"Will!" She latched onto his hand closest to her, gripping it tightly.
"Imzadi!"
As Will sat up slowly, he
looked around in confusion. "Wh-where am I?" he
croaked.
"You're in your quarters,"
Deanna managed to say calmly. "Welcome back,
Imzadi..."
He looked at her as if he'd
never seen her before in his life. "Who's
'Imzadi'?" Smiling at her in a mildly flirtatious manner, he said three
words
that caused Troi's world to cave in around her: "Have we met?"
=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=
END: part 3 of 5
"Forever Love"
=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=
========
Newsgroups: alt.startrek.creative
Subject: REV/REP: "Forever Love" (R/T, P/C, TNG, PG-13, 4/5)
From: trekr4life@aol.com (Trekr4Life)
Date: 28 Jan 1999 03:45:33 GMT
--------
SUBJECT:: New:"Forever Love" (R/T, P/C, AU, TNG, PG-13, 4/5)
AUTHOR:: Kella
CODES:: R/T, P/C, A.U.
SERIES:: TNG
RATING:: PG-13
PARTS:: 4 of 5
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Please refer to part 1 for original disclaimers...
Much love to all, and the occaisional nuggie,
-=/\=-Kella-=/\=-
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Synopsis: Will and Deanna were lovers, but for the past 13 years, they've
simply been good friends. But nobody knows the strain Will has put
himself
through, caused by guilt of a relationship gone awry. Deanna soon discovers
that Will's mental health depends on the depth of her feelings for
him and
whether she has the courage to reveal them....
=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=
"Forever Love" by Kella
(part 4/5)
=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=
Jean-Luc Picard could've
sworn that he had heard a woman's scream, resonating
throughout the bridge. He looked around abruptly, then fixated his
gaze on
Data. "Data, did you just hear anything remotely unusual?"
The android cocked his head
in confusion. "Yes, sir. It sounded very much like
Counselor Troi."
La Forge moved to the captain's
chair from his engineering station. "I heard
it, too," he said softly.
Picard's worry got the better
of him. "Counselor Troi," he shouted at the
overhead intercom system, "is everything all right down there?" There
came no
response. "Computer, location of Counselor Troi?"
"Counselor Troi is in the
quarters of Commander William T. Riker."
"Where is the Chief Medical
Officer?"
"Doctor Beverly Howard Crusher
is in the quarters of Commander William T.
Riker."
"Computer, list any other
conscious inhabitants of said quarters."
"Troi, Ambassador Lwaxana.
Homn, Mister. Riker, Commander William T."
"What?" Picard breathed.
"Computer, restate last conscious occupant."
"Riker, Commander William
T."
Something in Picard's voice
conveyed the urgency to La Forge and Data as he
said, "Geordi, Data; follow me please." Together, the walked to the
turbolift
as fast as they could.
The trip three decks down
seemed far longer to Picard than it actually was.
When the 'lift got to Riker's deck, the three practically ran down
the hall,
almost knocking over a hapless ensign who almost didn't get out of
the way in
time. Not bothering to ring the door chime, the men walked right in.
Inside, they were all astonished
by the sight that greeted them: Lwaxana and
Will were locked in a staring contest, while Beverly and Mister Homn
were
kneeling at the side of a fainted Deanna Troi. Beverly looked up and
gave
Picard a worried expression, jerking her head in Will's direction.
Picard went
to the ambassador's side.
"Lwaxana..." he started.
"Not now, Jean-Luc. His
mental defenses are weakening."
Picard looked to Riker,
who didn't appear to react to this. Finally, after a
long, agonizing moment, Lwaxana Troi turned to face Picard.
"Just as I had thought,"
she said simply. She looked at her daughter, who was
coming around. Then back to Picard, "Captain, I think it best that
we-- with
the exception of Will and Deanna-- meet in Sickbay immediately. Or
the
conference lounge, whichever you prefer. Meanwhile, my daughter and
Riker can
introduce themselves." She walked out of Riker's quarters as Picard's
mouth
fell open.
"Introduce themselves to
whom?" he asked, puzzled.
Beverly appeared behind
him, laying a hand on his shoulder. "I'll explain in a
minute," she whispered in his ear, guiding him out. Geordi and Data
followed,
as did Homn, leaving a saddened Deanna Troi alone with a forgetful
Will Riker.
=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=
"So, you're saying he doesn't
remember anything concerning Deanna at all?"
Beverly nodded. "It's very
localized, Jean-Luc. He recognized me at once, the
ship, asked about you, the others, but drew a blank when Deanna appeared
to
him. She needs to work with him to discover exactly how localized his
amnesia
is."
"But she cannot do so telepathically,"
Lwaxana interrupted. "To do so would
doom Will's memory forever."
Picard's head snapped abruptly
around to face her. "Explain," he said tersely.
Lwaxana Troi sighed and sat
down on one of the biobeds. Gesturing vaguely with
one hand, she said, "I saw inside his mind, Captain. As is with all
amnesia
patients, a portion of his mind is battling for independence. I know
not what
he was fighting in his mind; but if he loses, his memory will be lost
forever.
That is why Deanna *must not* use telepathy when dealing with Will,
otherwise
he will be distracted-- and a single distraction can cause the battle
to be
lost."
La Forge looked puzzled.
"Then how can we help him regain his memory?"
"We must join him and help
him fight from without, not from within," was
Lwaxana's solemn reply.
=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=
Meanwhile, Deanna had moved
from the chair Beverly had left her in to get
something in one of the back rooms, the bedroom. When she silently
reappeared,
Will regarded her with open curiosity. She carried a small box that
Lwaxana had
brought her from Betazed. Inside that box were remnants of Troi's memories,
from the time when she and Will had been together on Betazed, all those
years
ago. No look of recognition crossed Will's features as she set the
box down on
the coffee table.
After taking an obvious
effort to compose herself, she calmly turned to look
at Will. "I apologize for the obvious confusion you must be feeling
right now.
I'm not sure exactly how I would react if I awoke to find a strange
man in my
quarters."
Will smiled lightly. "That's
all right, I've always wanted a roommate. I guess
I'm glad I finally got one that's a woman." He cleared his throat after
a
moment, realizing that his attempt at a joke had gone flat. The silence
was
uncomfortable. Finally, he hopped off the biobed and stuck out his
hand. "I
heard them call you 'Deanna'. I'm Commander Willam Riker." He paused,
then
smiled, mildly embarrassed. "But of course you already know that. Your
name is?
Miss..."
Deanna took a deep breath.
"Troi," she said, shaking the proffered hand.
"Counselor Deanna Troi."
Will looked puzzled. "Counselor
to whom?"
"To the *Enterprise*," she
said simply.
"We have a counselor?"
Deanna sighed, took him
by the arm, leading him to the couch. "Will," she
said, sitting him down, then sitting next to him, "you have what is
known as
selective amnesia. Do you understand what that is?"
Riker nodded. "It means
that I am unable to recollect certain events based
around a certain theme in my life."
Troi nodded. "Such a memory
loss could be caused by a traumatic event;
therefore--in order to avoid another trauma by having to deal with
the event--
the mind shuts out or down all memory engrams that have to do with
the person
or place that had to do with the traumatic event."
Riker smiled wryly. "And
since I can't remember *you*, it stands to reason
that you were the cause of my traumatic event."
Troi lowered her eyes to
the carpeting. "Much to my grief," she agreed. "But
we're going to get your memories back, Will. I need your help, all
right?"
Will nodded; she took his
arm again, guiding him to the bedroom with the
lavatory in it. She released him when they entered the bedroom--- which
she had
been sleeping in lately--- and selected some off-duty fatigues for
him to wear.
Turning to the door, she said over her shoulder, "You might want to
freshen up.
Take a long, hot shower, and get dressed."
As she left, it was then
that Will noticed that the only thing he was wearing
were silk underwear and a sickbay shift... which was, of course, open
in the
back, and not nearly long enough. He sighed.
**Wonderful...** he thought,
heading off to the shower.
=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=
As soon as Deanna heard the
water running from the livingroom, she collapsed
onto the couch and cried until she fell asleep.
=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=
Riker tested his memory as
best he could. For the life of him, he could not
remember a single thing having to do with the woman out in his livingroom.
He
could remember the alphabet, he could remember the tours of duty he
had on
every ship he'd ever served on. He could remember the names of all
his friends.
He could remember the great Zefram Cochrane and the reports of the
battle with
the Borg. What he could not remember was anything having to do with
the woman
on the other side of those doors. This frustrated him to no end. He
was damned
sure that she had played some sort of major role in his life. What
it was, he
didn't know exactly.
Meanwhile, the ringing of
the door chimes woke Deanna from a fitfully short
nap on the couch. Groggily, she got up, smoothed out her dress, and
went to
answer the door. The panels parted to reveal two nervous-looking men,
commonly
known as La Forge and Data. Gesturing them in silently, Deanna went
to the
replicator and made a cup of tea for herself. Turning to them and sipping
her
tea gingerly, she cocked an eyebrow.
"What can I do for you two?"
Geordi and Data looked at
each other hesitantly, as if wondering how to breach
a delicate subject. La Forge turned to her. "We were just wondering,
Counselor,
how you wanted to play this..."
"What Geordi means," Data
interjected, becoming more human all the time, "is
that we wish to know the course of action you are going to take in
recovering
the commander's memories."
Deanna sighed. "I don't
know, you two. I just don't know."
"That makes four of us,"
came a bass voice from the rear of the livingroom.
"But I could sure go for a synthehol drink right about now. How about
you,
Geordi? Data?"
Data watched Deanna visibly
wince at the realization that Will was
uncomfortable addressing her personally. But, to her credit, she picked
up
Riker's lead, nodding as if she had intended nothing else. "That sounds
wonderful, doesn't it Geordi?"
Geordi and Data played along,
as only friends could. "Guinan hasn't seen the
commander for a while. She'll be wondering where her favorite poker
player is,
don't you think?" Geordi offered with his most disarming smile.
Riker offered his arm to
Troi, who dutifully took it, and led his friends out
of his quarters. "Well, God forbid we keep Guinan waiting much longer!"
he
chuckled as they made their way to the reincarnation of the old *Enterprise*'s
Ten-Forward. They entered the mess hall, which had a small bar at the
back of
the room, and planted themselves at a booth near the viewports.
Guinan, the ubiquitous El-Aurian
hostess, appeared by their table immediately,
padd in hand. "What can I get for you all today? Commander Riker, good
to see
you up and about again!"
Riker nodded slowly. "It's
good to be up and about again..." His voice trailed
off as he looked at Deanna for a long moment, then looked back to Guinan
abruptly. "Two Skagway Slides and a Transporter," he said, reciting
Geordi and
Data's --as well as his own-- favorite drinks from what was left of
his memory.
He looked back to Deanna. "And you..."
"Srjula," she said shortly.
"And a 'srjula' for the
lady."
Guinan seemed aware that
something was amiss, but she gave Troi a look that
clearly said *later*. Deanna nodded. Aloud, Guinan said, "Andorian
tea? That's
not your preferred usual, Counselor."
Troi shrugged. "I order
to reflect the mood I'm in."
Guinan nodded. "I hear you.
Drinks are on the way."
When the woman was gone,
Riker turned to Deanna. "What about Andorian tea
reflects the mood you're in?"
Troi remained silent and
Geordi caught the commander's eye. Shaking his head
inconspicuously, Geordi ended that branch of the conversation. However,
fairly
new still to the inane understandings of human nature, Data was determined
to
make yet another *faux pas*.
Cocking his head like a
sparrow not sensing the ever-present cat, the android
looked at Counselor Troi, who shifted slightly under the scrutiny.
"Over the
past three-hundred years, Andorian tea has been regarded as bitter,
tart,
potent, unattainable, rich, tasteless, and remedial; the Andorians,
of course,
have regarded it widely as nerve-calming and therapeutic..."
"Thank you, Data." Deanna
was sure that if looks could graphically maim and
kill, Data would have been no more than charred body parts, strewn
along all 24
decks.
"But, I am curious as to
which feeling you are using these regards as,
metaphorically, in order to describe herself," Data forged on.
Deanna silently wondered
how Data's head would look, mounted above her
holographic fireplace.
Trying to make light of
a sticky situation that Data had, once again, helped
Deanna find her way into, Geordi looked at Riker, then Data, squarely.
"Well, I
sure wouldn't call the good counselor a tart. Rich is also out of the
question,
as monetary gain has been equalized for at least two centuries," he
laughed.
"And I definitely wouldn't
say Counselor Troi is tasteless, she has excellent
taste in style," Riker picked up, smiling. "However, I find her presence
nerve-calming, and extremely remedial. Therapeutic, even."
Troi blushed.
Data, unaware that he had
gotten them into a mess of polite extrications and
veiled meanings, blindly perpetuated the conversation. "But is the
counselor
potent, unattainable, or bitter?"
Geordi and Riker exchanged
glances, while Deanna silently wished to send her
android companion crashing through the nearest bulkhead. Riker cleared
his
throat and raised his eyebrows. "Given my lack of memory, Data, you'd
have to
tell me about that. I honestly don't remember much concerning the good
counselor."
Data nodded. "Ah, I am sorry,
Commander."
Geordi couldn't resist turning
the last table on Deanna. "What does Andorian
tea represent to you, Counselor?"
The daggers that shot out
of Troi's eyes were almost tangible. Then, composing
herself just as the drinks arrived, she said, "Comfort. I regard it
as I would
any other tea. It represents comfort and hope and sympathy."
Guinan smiled. "Nice definition,
Deanna. I would have said the same thing."
Giving the younger woman a knowing glance, she moved off to another
table.
Geordi watched her escape, envying her ability to leave. Sipping his
Skagway
Slide, he allowed his gaze to wander over the room. After a few faces
passed
under his gaze, his focus rested on a dark-skinned female sitting across
the
room from him. And she was *smiling* at him.
As the others prattled on
and on about little things, like how long it had
been since their last shore leave, Lwaxana Troi breezed throught the
entrance
of Ten-Forward. Seeing his window of escape at hand, Geordi stood,
sipped the
last of his drink, and nodded to his three companions. "Commander,
Counselor,
Data. I've gotta get going. I wanna get to bed and get some sleep."
He turned, having said that,
and moved in the direction of the young woman who
had been meeting his gaze.
Commanders Riker and Data
followed his movements visually, smirking as Geordi
offered his arm to the young lady and she took it. Data cocked his
head,
feeling slightly envious at Geordi's narrow escape of Lwaxana Troi.
The
Betazoid ambassador quickly found them and was soon a foot from their
table.
"Hello, Lit--" Her voice
trailed off as she received a mental warning from
Deanna, reversing gears. "Hello, Deanna."
Deanna looked utterly composed.
"Hello, Mother."
Lwaxana looked innocently
at the chair that had been vacated by La Forge not
too long ago. "May I join you, or is this seat taken?"
The younger Troi smiled
politely. "Geordi went to bed, he needed his sleep."
Data gave Deanna a patronizing
look. "Counselor, Geordi may have gone to bed,
but I seriously doubt that he will get any sleep tonight."
Riker, Data, and Lwaxana
proceeded to laugh heartily as a puzzled Deanna
watched La Forge leave with a woman on his arm.
=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=
When they returned to Riker's
quarters, there were a couple of moments of more
uncomfortable silence between them. Nervous clearing of throats had
now become
common place. Deanna and Will, just stood there looking into one another's
eyes, wondering what the other was thinking. Lwaxana had been convinced
to take
Data to the holodeck, where the anxious android was hoping to coerce
her into
participating in a recreation of Sherlock Holmes. Therefore, Will and
Deanna
were alone together.
This put them in a sticky
situation. Before they had returned to his quarters,
Deanna had tried to make preparations to move back into her own. The
computer
had primly stated, in no uncertain terms, that the quarters she had
entered
were no longer her own, but were general access guest quarters, presently
reserved for Lwaxana Troi and company. After inquiring as to who made
the
transfer of ownership of her home, Deanna deduced that the captain
and his
fiancee were the ones responsible. **I'll make sure they have a wedding
they
won't forget....** she thought darkly.
Will knew her predicament
almost as well as she did. While they had been
walking from the new Ten-Forward, Deanna had briefly outlined their
past
together, up until the coma. Any questions he had asked, she had answered,
some
more reluctantly than others. Basically, he understood that he and
the
professional counselor in front of him had had a strained relationship
at best,
usually--especially throughout the latter years--they had remained
the best of
friends. Secretly, he wondered to himself what he had done to ruin
a romance
with the beautiful woman he was about to share quarters with.
Peculiarly enough, the word
she had told him about...*imzadi*... *that* rang a
bell with him. He didn't quite fully understand the meaning of the
word still,
but he knew that it was a word that he and Deanna had often ascribed
to one
another. She had described it only as, "a word that comes from my Betazoid
heritage, and a word that you and I know...knew together."
Deanna seemed tired, she
dropped on the couch. Gesturing to the biobed, she
smiled. "I suppose you won't be needing *this* anymore...."
He moved to sit beside her.
"No, but you might want to keep it around... for
emergencies..."
Troi looked at him, barely
concealed fear in her eyes. "Please, Will. Don't
scare me anymore than I already have been. I don't think I could take
another
coma, especially not if it was you..."
Will made soft comforting
noises, gathering her hands up in his. "Shh. It's
all right. I don't intend to become comatose again. I would never put
you
through that for me again."
Sadness and anger hardened
her gaze as she seemed about to say something, but
evidently thought twice about it. Instead, gently removing her hands
from his,
she stood. Going to the replicator, she ordered up a hot chocolate.
**That's right....** he
thought to himself in shock. **Deanna is a chocolate
fanatic!**
Deanna didn't take notice
of his inward surprise; instead she took a gulp of
hot chocolate and looked at him, then toward the two bedrooms. "I don't
quite
know why you asked for your quarters to have two bedrooms, but there
they are.
I've moved my belongings out of yours, which I have been occupying,
and into
the 'guest' bedroom.
Since Jean-Luc and Beverly obviously went to great lengths to make
sure my
quarters were non-existent, we are forced roommates."
There was something in Will
that knew *exactly* why there had been two
bedrooms installed... but, once again, it was just outside of his grasp.
He looked at her sadly,
with tears welling up in his eyes. "I wish I could
remember..."
Deanna obviously felt remorseful
for the harsh words that had come galloping
from her mouth. She crossed to him, placing a hand on his bearded face.
"I'm
sorry, Will. I am truly sorry, I didn't mean the things I said. Forgive
me?"
Will shook his head. "Not
unless you forgive me. I've obviously hurt you
somehow, and I ruined the life we might have had." Memories were coming
back
for him, a drop of rain at a time, pooling up in his mind. But, of
course, for
some reason Deanna couldn't sense this.
"Will, it wasn't your fault."
"Yes, it was. It had to
have been."
"Well, it wasn't, and that's
the end of it. Understood?" Deanna's tone left no
room in Will for argument. "We'll discuss this tomorrow after the wedding."
Will was slightly puzzled.
"Wedding?"
"Yes, wedding. Remember?
Jean-Luc and Beverly are *finally* getting married
tomorrow. He made the announcement while we were walking."
Will remembered. "Ah, I
recall it now. But, Dee, I don't have anything to
wear..."
Deanna had stiffened. "What?"
she asked, her face blanched. "What did you
say?"
Confused, Will repeated,
"I don't have anything to wear..."
"No! Before that!"
Will thought. "Dee?" As
she stiffened again, he thought he had crossed some
invisible barrier. "I'm sorry, I've obviously offended you. I'll go
to bed
now..." He moved to leave.
She caught his arm as he
exited the room, halting him for a second. "No, Will!
You didn't offend me. You've made me very happy; you're making tangible
progress!"
Will looked surprised. "How
do you figure?"
"You haven't called me 'Dee'
in ages!" Tears of joy spilled from her eyes.
Will, still a bit confused,
only nodded. "All right then, Dee. I'm going to
bed, all right? I need to be fresh for the wedding..."
Troi got a hold of herself,
pushing him through the doorway to his bedroom.
"Of course, go to sleep! Get some sleep!" The doors closed behind her
as she
ran to her own bedroom.
Will, undressing for bed,
had only one thought about the woman sharing
quarters with him:
**That is one _weird_ lady...**
=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=
Meanwhile, as Will and Deanna slept....
The battle was won, the enemy
vanquished, and the victor dragging himself off
the battlefield. He had just enough strength to make it home...
He was halfway home...
He was home....
God, it was good to be home....
Opening the door, he saw
the lights were out. There was nobody home...
=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=
END: part 4 of 5
"Forever Love"
=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=
========
Newsgroups: alt.startrek.creative
Subject: REV/REP: "Forever Love" (R/T, P/C, TNG, PG-13, 5/5)
From: trekr4life@aol.com (Trekr4Life)
Date: 28 Jan 1999 03:50:04 GMT
--------
SUBJECT:: New:"Forever Love" (R/T, P/C, TNG, PG-13, 5/5)
AUTHOR:: Kella
CODES:: R/T, P/C, (La/f)
SERIES:: TNG
RATING:: PG-13
PARTS:: 5 of 5
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Disclaimers in part 1...
Be glad that I finally decided to end the trauma of an endless story.
yes, this
is the final part to "Forever Love". If you are missing a crucial part
of the
story, and there are thirteen crucial parts to be exact, please e-mail
me and I
will get them to you ASAP. This story will be reposted in bulk so as
to allow
easier readership. God help me, this story has been going on since
September,
but I apologize! Trying to complete my education and keep my financial
status
at a positive level required most of my time. Hey, I do what I can.
By the way,
I may have solved that problem I've been having with my browser, so
my web page
will hopefully be altered to become more of what I had hoped. Thank
you for
your patience, and now on with the show.
wanta thank Robin again!!! love ya!
Much love and occaisional nuggies,
~~~Kella~~~
(Last night I played a blank tape on my stereo at full blast. The mime
next
door went nuts....)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
-------------------------------
Synopsis: Will and Deanna were lovers, but for the past 13 years,
they've
simply been good friends. But nobody knows the strain Will has put
himself
through, caused by guilt of a relationship gone awry. Deanna soon discovers
that Will's mental health depends on the depth of her feelings for
him, and
whether she can gather the courage to reveal her feelings to him....
------------------------------------------------------
"Forever Love" by Kella
(part 5/5)
**************************************
**The victor couldn't see,
there were no lights in his home that were on. He
stumbled around in the dark, searching for something that would trigger
the
lights and let him see what had been done to his home while he had
been away at
battle. While he was moving from one corner of his home to the other,
he
tripped over a figure lying on the ground. The figure looked up at
him,
blinking through bleary eyes.
"I was wondering when you
were going to come back." The figure smiled wryly.
"It's been hell on earth trying to figure out how to run things without
you..."
"What happened? I mean,
I *know* what happened, but I mean since I've been
away?" The champion's brow furrowed. "What happened to Deanna?"
His mirror image stretched.
"Nothing happened to her really. She's been worn
to the bone, physically and emotionally, just trying to take care of
you. Me.
Hell, I don't know anymore."
The victor thought for a
moment, then said, "Listen, we're going to have to
merge sooner or later... we should combine memories. We'll know what
each other
knows."
The mirror image nodded,
smiling wryly again. "She loves... us... you know.
She wouldn't let me call her 'imzadi' without knowing completely what
it
meant."
The champion nodded. "I
know. Somehow, I know."
Then, as if moving to embrace,
the two figures held their arms open wide, as
they merged into one being.
The lights flickered for
a few seconds, then shone bright as one figure stood
alone.**
=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=
Will Riker's quarters lit
up as Deanna ordered the lights to full
illumination. Once awakened, she could not get back to sleep, and she
had heard
a noise in the middle of the night. She had gone in to check on Will,
finding
him in the grips of a nightmare. His sheets had been tangled up around
him and
he had been sitting bolt upright in bed, wild-eyed and sweating. She
had tried
scanning him; but, no, the mental shields were still in place. She
had sat on
the side of the bed, soothing him and drying his forehead with the
corner of
his sheets.
After talking to him for
a while, she was disappointed to find that not only
did he not remember a thing about his nightmare, but he hadn't regained
any of
his memories, either. Although he was still calling her 'Dee'... That
was
something, at least...
She sat at the dining table,
after replicating herself a hot cup of chocolate,
shivering slightly as she settled into her chair; she adjusted her
nightgown
around her for maximum warmth. Slowly sipping her hot chocolate, she
savored
the aroma as it reached her nose. She let out a slow sigh of contentment,
brief
as it may be, and asked the computer for the time.
"It is currently 0730 hours."
The answer came in the form of Will Riker's
voice, and she looked up to see him leaning his hands on the opposite
end of
the gleaming surface of the table. He looked like he had fallen out
of bed,
there was a red hue to the left side of his face, and his beard and
hair were
rumpled so comically that she had a hard time keeping a straight face.
He had a
smile on his face, however.
"I had a dream last night,"
he said softly. "Do you know what I saw in my
dream?"
Deanna gestured to the chair
next to hers, Will sat down. Fully interested,
she leaned forward to him. "What did you dream about, Will?"
Will looked at her for a
long moment, then his face was the picture of longing
and love. "You."
Deanna blinked back a solitary
tear that threatened to expose her. "You did?"
Riker put his hand on her
forearm, using his other to cup her chin. Looking
her straight in the eye, he nodded. "I dreamt that we had a chance
to rekindle
a romance we had thought lost. And in my dream, we were both afraid
to, worried
that our already strained friendship would break apart if we tried
to start a
shipboard relationship. But I knew, in my dream, that I loved you,
and that I
was always saddened that the courage was never in me to tell you how
I felt."
Troi suddenly remembered
that she had to breathe. Gasping softly, she composed
herself and tried to be as professionally detached as possible. "Are
you sure
it was a dream, or was it a memory resurfacing?"
Riker smiled wryly. "I couldn't
tell you, Deanna. You're the one whose
memories are intact." He got up and walked back to his bedroom, the
doors
shutting behind him.
Deanna watched him go, finally
letting the tear out and sighing softly.
"Sometimes, I am not so sure that they are, where you're concerned,
Will
Riker..."
=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=
"Well, Captain," Will grumbled
as he tried to button the collar on Picard's
wedding tuxedo, "Either we need to cut down on the amount of beer and
cake at
bachelor parties, or you managed to do this on your own."
"Careful, Will...." Picard
mumbled.
Finally, Will got the clasps
shut on the collar. "All right, you can breathe
now..."
Picard looked at his first
officer sideways. "Thank you, Will."
Will nodded, guiltily.
Picard went to the younger
man. "Will," he said softly. "It's okay. We've all
forgiven you for what happened. These things happen to the best of
us."
"I don't think your counselor
has forgiven me for what happened."
Picard looked at him. "What
do you mean?"
Will was silent.
"Well, she's been through
a lot. I'm sure she's forgiven you, but she might be
wary of you." Picard clapped him on the shoulder. "These things take
time,
Will."
"Time seems to be something
I'm running short of..."
Picard nodded, then started.
"Oh, speaking of which...Computer. What time is
it?"
"The time is 0900 hours,"
came the prim, female voice.
"Well, Will, seems we've
got fifteen minutes to get to a wedding. Don't you
agree?"
Will nodded, the wheels
in his head turning. He picked up his flower, to be
pinned on the lapel of his own tuxedo, and followed the groom out the
door.
=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=
Admiral Tao Nguyen, a petite
Asian woman with a frost of snowy white hair,
cleared her throat, pulling at the collar of her dress uniform. She
could
hardly wait for the ceremonies to be over with so that she could change
out of
this incredibly uncomfortable monkey suit. The downside to being an
admiral was
that she was required to perform the marriage between the captain and
his CMO,
thus having to put up with this insufferable costume for the next three
hours.
Her personal yacht was waiting outside the ship, off the port bow.
She could
use her admiral's prerogative to override this particularly inconvenient
protocol of Starfleet's, leaving the ceremony to the android officer
to
perform. But, of course, that would be dereliction of duty, and it
would hurt
her friend Jean-Luc's feelings... thus she suffered.
The sudden rise and fall
of volume of the Federation Horns signalled the
arrival of Jean-Luc and his trusy sidekick, William Riker. Nguyen was
aware of
certain difficulties regarding the handsome First Officer. She had
discovered
the basic gist of the situation through the time-honored traditional
gossip...although the details were as blurred as several rounds through
the
ship's scuttlebutt would obscure. There appeared to be no problem with
the best
man, however, as he took his place behind Picard, who had assumed his
position
in front of the admiral. The podium in front of the short admiral (which
had
been shortened, because Data had not wished to cause any discomfort
for the
diminuitive woman) was suddenly adorned with the booklet of marriage
vows and
the Federation code and blessing, as Data gently placed it on the top
of the
podium and hurried to take his place behind Riker.
Then, in strode Geordi La
Forge, looking happier than he had in years. Hooked
on his arm was one of the most stunningly gorgeous ensigns on the ship.
An
ensign from the science division, if Picard remembered correctly. Geordi
winked
at her and whispered something into her ear, then took his place behind
Data.
All there was left to do
was wait.
They didn't wait long.
The Federation Horns rose
again in tribute, as Beverly Crusher and her
entourage entered the redecorated lounge. Her dress was a flowing periwinkle
blue, with sequins lining the hem of the skirt. The skirt itself was
slit up
the side on the thigh. Muffled gasps of admiration and surprise came
from the
guests, and elicited raised eyebrows from the groom's attendants. Except
for
Jean-Luc; although he had not seen the dress any time previously, he
knew it
was not atypical of Beverly, and was not surprised. If anything, he
was
pleased.
Will's attention was focused
on Beverly's Maid of Honor.
Deanna was in a lavender
dress, strapless and low cut. It too had a tight
bodice and a flowing skirt that was slit up the side. She refused to
meet
Riker's scrutiny but for a brief glance in his direction. She was just
thankful
that they weren't at a Betazoid wedding. That would have been a *great*
way to
infuse memories into Will...
The bridesmaids took their
place behind Troi, and Nguyen cleared her throat.
"Since the first days of
the wooden sailing ships back on earth, it has been
the honor and priviledge of ship captains to perform marriages for
those
aboard, be they guests or crew. Jean-Luc Picard is a captain who has
been
honored to have performed many such rites of bonding, on all three
ships that
he has captained. And now the captain is himself getting married. And
the rest
of us are saying, 'It's about bloody time'..."
Jean-Luc blushed sheepishly
as Beverly and the guests laughed.
And the ceremony continued....
=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=
Later, when all the wedding
paraphanalia for the ceremony had been cleared
away, the reception kicked into high gear. Of course, the honored couple
got
the first dance. Riker and Troi had seated themselves at a small table
off to
the side of the dance floor, where they proceeded to make inconsequential
small
talk.
Troi had long since ceased
trying to read him, having given up the task as
futile. Riker's shields had cracked enough to allow her to read him
if she
tried hard enough, but she just didn't try. So she didn't know.
Riker, on the other hand,
had a slightly different problem. "Dee..."
She held up a hand abruptly,
stopping him. "Will, please. I was ecstatic when
you remembered your pet name for me, but enough is enough." With tears
in her
eyes she looked at him. "Don't you see? Unless you remember the big
things, the
little things become meaningless. Unless you remember our past, our
future is
irrelevant."
"And what do you think I'm
trying to do? It's not easy Dee...anna," he
finished after a glance from her. "I can't patch things up to heal
if *you*
refuse to give me the band-aid box!"
She cocked an eyebrow. The
guests hadn't noticed his outbreak, and
fortunately, neither had the Picards. Lowering her voice, she said,
"Well, I
want you to be able to remember on my own, with no help from me."
"Why? So I can struggle
with this alone? Is that what all good counselors do?
Sit back and watch as their patients try to do things alone without
any help?"
His tone was neutral, almost
Data-ish, but still caused a tear to roll down
the side of her cheek. "Don't you think I'm hurt and frustrated too?
Don't you
think it's been as hard on me as it must be for you?" She stopped,
thought for
a second, then looked immediately contrite. "Will, I'm sorry..."
He smiled lightly. Placing
his hand on her arm, "RaBeem." That was all he
said, but that single Betazoid word carried an electrical current into
Deanna.
*I understand...*
Wait a second... Hiding
the turning wheels in her head from her expression on
her face, she smiled evenly. "So, let's try a scan of what you remember."
He nodded, taking his hand
from her arm. "Shoot."
**He'd better thank his
lucky stars I have the sanity not to take that
literally...** she thought darkly.
"So, what do you remember?"
she asked simply.
"That's a professional scan?"
he said humorously.
"It's a simple question..."
"Give me something definite..."
Troi thought for a moment,
then said breezily. "What poetry comes to mind?"
Riker sensed a trap, but
forged ahead. "Well," he said, as if uncertain,
"there's not much. I assume you want a specific poem that we both know..."
She nodded. **He shouldn't
be able to remember this yet...At least not the
whole thing...**
He paused, then:
"I hold you close to me.
Feel the breath of you,
and the wonder of you
And remember a time
Without you
But only as one would remember
A bleak and distant nightmare
And you shudder against
me in your sleep
Do you share the memory
with me of dark times past?
And you smile
Do you share the memory
of times to come?
The future holds such promise
And just as I cannot imagine
how I survived the past
Without you
I cannot imagine a future
Without you."
He shrugged. "That's all
I remember of it. I can't seem to remember who wrote
it though..." he stalled. Suddenly, he began to feel the prickling
of hairs at
the back of his neck, an all too familiar sensation. He looked at Deanna.
She
simply was silent, staring back at hin.
They both began to notice
that the denizens of Ten-Forward had begun to
applaud loudly, and whistling noises could be heard.
Riker himself had not noticed
that he had been speaking in stentorian tones,
loud enough for people to hear. Troi shifted as if uncomfortable.
That feeling again... Riker
hoped it wasn't what...
Suddenly, Troi stood up
so fast that her chair toppled backward. Being an
incredibly small table, it was no small stretch what she did next.
The crowd was stunned silent
as Deanna Troi took a wide swing with her right
arm and slapped Will Riker hard across the face. The sound of flesh
meeting
flesh so violently reverberated around the bulkheads. Even Guinan was
shocked
silly. Everyone stared at the two in the middle of the lounge. Jean-Luc
and
Beverly were standing there in mortified fascination.
"You f***ing son of a b*tch!"
she shrieked. An utter non-sequiter for the
counselor, to be sure.
Gasps were heard at this
outbreak. The counselor gathered up her dress and
stormed out of the lounge. As she exited, for some strange reason,
the doors
remained open. Various murmurings were overheard in the crowd:
"He recites poetry...beautiful
poetry...to her, and she curses and slaps him
in the face?" one voice said in puzzlement.
"Remember, she had that
affair with Commander Worf... it must be a Klingon
thing she picked up..." another voice answered.
Attempting to bring levity
into a bad situation, Riker stood up proudly and
indignantly. Pointing a finger after her, he looked sideways at the
doors.
"Madam, I would have you know that my sex life is none of your damned
business.
Furthermore, in none of her past lives was my mother ever a canine!"
he
proclaimed loudly.
With that, he strode after
her.
Beverly looked squarely
at Jean-Luc. "Well, I suppose that's the entertainment
for the evening..."
=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=
Riker found Deanna sitting
huddled on the floor, leaning her back up against
the bulkhead, halfway down the corrider from Ten-Forward. She obviously
hadn't
gotten far before her anger and her tears had caught up with her. So,
she sat
against a bulkhead on the floor, crying as if no one else was there
to care one
way or the other.
As he neared her in proximity,
she sensed him. In one fluid movement, she was
up on her feet in a heartbeat. She extended a hand, backing away from
him
slowly, blinking hard to see through her tears. "Stay away from me,"
she
shrieked. "I don't want you near me!"
"Deanna, I..." he started,
but she cut him off.
"No! I don't want to hear
it!" With that, she took off at a high-speed bolt
down the corridor.
Will stood there, befuddled.
He felt a presense behind him and half-turned to
face it. Lwaxana just stood there, serene, not at all angry like her
daughter
had been.
"She's confused, Will. She's
angry, scared, and confused." She urged him with
a gesture, making the words she said next almost unnecessary: "Go to
her."
Will took off at a steady
jog after Deanna, leaving Lwaxan Troi behind. One
didn't need to be a telepath to know where Deanna had gone. She was
where she
always went when she was having emotional problems and wanted to be
alone. He
was also just as sure the doors were locked. With the highest security
clearance that Troi could muster without captain's authorization.
Which is why he stopped
by the officers' deck on deck 8. Entering the rec
lounge, he saw Security Chief Arlon sitting in a lone chair near one
of the
viewports. She was sipping her synthale quietly, obviously thinking
private
thoughts. Unfortunately, Riker wasn't in a mood to be patient and wait
for her
to turn around and notice him.
"Rona," he gasped, having
run up two decks, pausing for breath only in
turbolifts. "I need your help for a minute."
The tone of his voice mated
with his words caused the young woman to go on
four-siren alert. "Where's the problem, Commander?" She instictively
reached
for her phaser at her hip.
Riker put his hands up.
"Whoa, Chief, hang on a second. There's no security
breach. Counselor Troi has locked herself on the holodeck without her
communicator, and we think she may be in some sort of emotional trauma.
For a
Betazoid, this is a serious condition, and we need to unlock her security
codes. The only way I can do this is to have you use your security
override
code."
"Why wouldn't the captain
himself do this, sir?" she asked respectfully, with
just a hint of suspicion in her voice.
"The captain is attending
his own wedding," Riker explained patiently.
"All right," she replied
after a beat, "let's go."
Together, they made their
way up to deck five, and stopped at the entrance to
the holodeck. Once there, Arlon entered her voice print identification
code.
The doors beeped and parted. Behind them was revealed lush Betazed
scenery.
Riker turned to the security chief.
"Thank you, Rona." Pause.
"You really should join the reception in
Ten-Forward., Lieutenant. It's really something. "
She shifted uncomfortably.
"I would rather not, sir. I do not like large
gatherings of people altogether much. Too easily, they oftentimes conceal
the
deadliness of an unexpected knife. It is much too easy to be caught
off guard
there, sir. I prefer my solitude, Commander."
Riker smiled warmly. "Just
like a certain Klingon aquaintance I used to know."
He entered the holodeck,
allowing the holodeck doors to shut in front of Rona,
who quickly went back to deck 10 to be alone.
Riker knew the location
here like the back of his hand. It was the glade that
preceded the Betazoid Art Museum. He and Troi had spent many endless
days here,
during his tour on Betazoid. She had used the museum to teach him about
opening
up his mind and soul to others, including herself. Somehow, it seemed
oddly
appropriate that he find her sitting in front of the painting with
the large,
goopy paint swirls. It was one of the many paintings in the museum
that Riker
could just not get used to. No matter how hard Deanna had tried to
coax him to
open up his mind and relax, to see a picture where there was none,
Riker just
couldn't adjust his definitive mindset to accomodate her.
But that was the younger
Will. The Will of the past.
The Will of today had no
such problems adjusting his mindset.
He saw the picture clearly.
Or painting, as the case may be.
He walked in her direction,
until he was standing directly behind her.
"Deanna," he began.
She interrupted him, not
sounding particularly angry, rather like she was lost
somewhere in the past. "Will, remember that time when we were working
on your
mental shields? Or projection? Yes, that was it. We were working on
a way to
enable you to project your thoughts to telepaths and to help you construct
shields around your mind so that no one could read your mind without
your
knowledge."
"Deanna..."
"Who knew that you would
prove so adept at forming shields around your mind?"
He fell silent as he saw
a tear roll down the side of her face. How did this
happen to them? He remembered everything now...
"I know you do," she broke
in, telling him that the bond they shared was still
intact. She had read his thoughts. "The thing I'm wondering is, for
how long
have you remembered? Were you ever really in a coma?"
"Deanna, how could you doubt
it? I couldn't even remember you. I couldn't wake
up."
"Will, stop lying to me.
You know you could have if you wanted to. You just
didn't want to. As for the amnesia, well, I couldn't break your mental
shields,
they were too strong. Mother claimed that she saw something in your
mind,
but..."
"Deanna, be quiet. Now.
Let me speak."
She looked at him, dumbfounded.
To her recollection, Will had never taken that
tone of voice with her before.
"First time for everything,"
he allowed. The bond was still alive and well.
She gestured to the chair
opposite her bench. He sat down.
"Deanna, I don't know where
exactly to begin, so just ask me a simple question
and I'll give you an answer as elaborate as I can make it."
Thinking this over for a
moment, she nodded. "How long have you had your
memories back?"
Riker shrugged. "I don't
know, actually. I just woke up this morning and I
suddenly understood and could recollect everything. I went to bed with
amnesia
and woke up remembering everything."
Deanna looked at him. "Why
didn't you tell me you'd gotten your memories back,
Will? Why the deception?"
Will sighed, then took her
hands in his. "First of all... no, Deanna, look at
me." He took her chin in between his thumb and index finger, angling
it to face
him. "First of all, it was never my intention to deceive you. You have
to
understand it was a very disorienting experience for me... having my
memories
back, all of the sudden. Then, remembering things, I felt guilty. For
what I
had done to my friends. For what I had done to you..." He shrugged.
"I don't
know what came over me, Deanna. I'd been like that for a long time.
At least
since the first time I saw you and Worf together. I know it's silly
and petty
and ridiculous..."
She cut him off. "No, Will.
It's not entirely healthy to be jealous," she
paused, "but it is entirely normal." She leaned forward to whisper,
"Just
between the two of us?" He nodded and she smiled slyly. "I never was
in love
with him as much as I was in love with you. I thought I could be, but..."
She
paused. "I guess that our bond is stronger than we think... which leads
me to
believe that you haven't exactly told me everything...like about this
morning
for example?"
Will feigned ignorance.
"What about this morning?"
"Well, for instance, your
unusual behaviour this morning?"
Will grinned sheepishly.
"I was trying, in my own sleepy way, to seduce
you..."
She laughed softly, her
bosom shaking slightly. She crooked her finger at him
and he leaned in for her to whisper: "It worked."
He looked into her eyes
for a long minute. "Imzadi, I've made so many mistakes
where we're concerned. I don't know where to begin to make things right.
But
I'm asking you to find it in your heart to forgive me."
She smiled sadly. "We were
partners in this fiasco, Will. If I forgive you,
you forgive me."
Will sighed. Then he smiled
back. "Deal." He cupped her chin in his hand. "The
first order of business..." He lowered his mouth to hers, which she
greeted
readily. The kiss was long, sweet, and filled with the possibility
of things to
come.
She looked at him when they
pulled apart. "Imzadi," she whispered.
Will nuzzled her neck. "Yes?"
"First of all, you have
my permission to call me 'Dee' again..."
Will faked shock. "Oh my
God! You mean it?"
She batted his arm and kissed
him again. Another long one.
When they broke away for
the second time, Will eyed her. "What's the second
thing?"
Deanna smiled. "Do you think
we should ask the Picards if they wouldn't mind
sharing the happy day?"
Will's eyebrows almost collided
with his hairline. "Dee? You mean it?"
"Never been more serious
in my life."
"Glad to hear it." He picked
her up. "Computer, end program." He carried her
out the door. "Let's find the others, shall we?" They continued down
the hall
towards the turbolift, her still in his arms. They entered the turbolift
and he
called out for Ten-Forward.
As the doors to the 'lift
slid shut, Deanna looked at him quizzically. "By the
way, how did you override my password lock?"
=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=
Meanwhile...
Lwaxana Troi, smiling, strode
over to Beverly Picard and whispered something
in her ear. Jean-Luc patiently stood by. Beverly came away from the
whispering
with a huge smile on her face. The new husband looked at the two ladies
quizically. "What?"
Beverly told him what Lwaxana
had sensed as Riker came through the doors to
the lounge, bearing a smiling Deanna Troi.
As applause rang throughout
the lounge, Jean-Luc Picard cried out, "Oh,
Admiral Nguyen?"
The petite admiral, who
had been in the process of discreetly making her exit,
turned, dread on her face. "Yes, Captain?"
Jean-Luc smiled. "Would
you mind staying a bit longer?" He turned to Data.
"Bring the podium back. Everyone gather round! Replicate another bouquet!..."
Admiral Tao Nguyen blanched.
"Oh, my god..."
=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=
------------------------
END: Part 5 of 5
"Forever Love"
------------------------