Winner: Psychotica

The Nugget World Order v. The Watermellon Fellon and The KFC Bandit:
The match started off with The Saltine Slayer walking to the ring with KFC and Fellon to hold thier chicken and watermellon. Teh match started off quickly as Head and Freak got a jump start on Fellon as KFC was finishing off a piece of chicken at ringside. Head and Freak were doubleteaming Fellon with powermoves suchas double suplexes and double powerbombs. As The Fellon got tired, he went to go for the tag, and KFC was telling him, "Wait jez a miunet foo! I finishin my shicken!" With The Fellon distracted, Head sidesuplexed him back and pinned him for a fast 3 count. Then The Freak and Head ran up and swiped the chicken and watermellon from The Slayer and ran to the back as KFC and Slayer chased after them.

Winners: The Nugget World Order

(As The Watermellon Fellon began walking back to the back, the Monday Night Massacre theme began to blast over the PA and the fans erupted as teh fireworks began at the runway and in the four corners of the ring.) Mike Ixnay: Welcome ladies and gentlemen to Monday Night Massacre as we are on the heels of a major PPV for Friday in which a NEW NEW World Champion will be decided in the main event! Joining us is our very own Living Leech, Larry Nabisco... Larry Nabisco: That's LEDGEND!!! MI: And... (THe fans are in suspense as The silent Assassin approaches the ring.) MI: What's going on here??? LN: I dunno... SA: For the next few minutes, I will control you all and everything that you think and believe... so do not attemp to adjust your TV sets at home... (the fans are booing) SA: Steve, I only came back for one reason and one reason only and you know it... to take that title of yours, the ICW World Title that you cherish so much... (the fans are booing chanting for "Stunnin Steve!!! Stunnin Steve!!!") SA: You have brainwashed all these people into thinking that you are a god or something for so many years, yet you will not defend the title against the ONLY top contender, and that is... me. (the fans are booing louder) SA: Steve, I hate you so much, I can taste it on my toungue... the way you manipulate those weaker than yourself, and those who don't follow you. Steve, at the PPV, I will walk out with your belt whether you like it or not... Steve, you say you want to meet me in hell Friday, and that I am going to have to kill you first to beat you? If I have to go there to beat you, it will be done, because you can't beat me... Stunnin Steve: Yo, yo, yo day dreamer!!! (the fans begin to cheer abruptedly as Stunnin Steve is shown standing in the balcony with a mic, pointing at The Assassin.) SS: It seems to me that you have a VERY short memory... I DID beat you and it seems that you are 0 and 1 with me. See, the reason why you are supposedly... a silent assasin, is that you are unable to cope with the anguish that you feel inside for not being able to beat a 45 year old man for a crappy title like the ICW World Title. (some fans, now offended, are booing Steve as he looks around him shocked.) SS: I would defend this title against you happily to shut your stupid ass up, but the simple fact is... is that Ray Yarbrough went AWOL! He simply does not exsist! I AM the last Don, forget what Marcotte says, I am the last ICW world Champion... live by it and learn to love it, because it will never change... SA: I just knew you were going to say that Steve, so I want to introduce to you right now... THE FOUNDER AND OWNER OF THE ICW... SUGAR RAY JAMES YARBROUGH!!! MI&LN: WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!? (The Monday Night Massacre intro replays as Sugar Ray James approaches the ring. Ray has with him contract. He is wearing an Armony suit and is sporting a handlebar mostache with his head peeled and is wearing a left earing and sunglasses. Ray is walking out to a standing ovation and Steve is staring at Ray in shock.) MI: I can't believe it!!! It really is Ray!!! LN: Man, he looks... different!!! MI: He looks like he means serious business and The Assassin is helping him into the ring. Sugar Ray James: Steve, you stupid son of a bitch!!! (the crowd pops the roof!) SRJ: Hehehehe, Steve, you have often said that you were the reason why the ICW survived the times and you have often said that with no business training at all, you were a better promoter than myself... Who hired the man with a frizzy hair style that outdated in teh 80's, along with the ragged clothing you used to wear before joining the ICW? (the crowd is erupting and Steve is foaming at the mouth) SRJ: Steve, I respect the fact that yu are Champ and no you don't have to defend at this Friday's PPV... BUT, you WILL have to defend at the big NEW Years Eve show and you MUST show up, with MY belt!!! (the crowd pops as Steve is shaking his fist at Ray.) SRJ: Furthermore, the referee for the match... will be none other than the good ol Prez himself... Sugar Ray James!!! MI: Oh my god!!! SRJ: I've looked forward to having you across the ring from me for so long my boy, and I hope to god, that at that match, the BEST man will come out on top... oh but but but... MI: But what??? SRJ: You CAN rebut the decision by winnig against Assassin at the Friday PPV. If you win, he gets no title shot and you will be the last Champion and he must expose himself to the world and reveal his true identity... (the audience seems relieved.) SRJ: But WHEN he wins, your ass is his!!! (the audience pops the roof off with Ray smiling at Steve.) SRJ: May the... BEST man win... MI: Oh my god... Steve will have to defend the belt against Assassin if he losses at the PPV? SRJ: The President has spoken Steve... MI: We will be back fans with our first match on Massacre!!! (commercial for classic action figures plays feturing Destructo, Stunnin Steve, Enfuego, Ares, Hawk Manson and Trent Raven.) Mike Ixnay: Welcome back ladies and gents, we arte still in shock!!! Sugar Ray James back in the NEW??? What for??? Larry Nabisco: I don't know, but he had a nice little poker face on him didn't he? MI: Up next is a match between two of the top contenders for the NEW World Title for the Lord of the Rings... Pimp Daddy Caina dn RipTide!!! Let's go to the ring!!! ("Pretty Fly For A White Guy" plays over the PA System as RipTide approaches the ring.) MI: This guy attacked Psychotica early on tonight... I must say, since his entry to the NEW, he has impressed me quite a bit! LN: Yeah, but does he have what it takes to win the big proize in the NEW? MI: Well, we'll find out Friday, but now... ("Sexual Healing" by Marvin Gaye plays as Pimp Daddy Cain walks to the ring with three women in slutty attire with his arms aroung thier backs.) MI: Oh my god..... I didn't see this coming... first he immitates The Road Dogg and Bad ASs Billy Gunn, now this??? When is he going to stop? PDC: Hey now boy!!! (RipTide looks at Pinp in amazement.) PDC: You know me, so you know what I am... I am a pimp! Now I got a offer you can't refuse, because judging by your appearance, you can't get none any other way... I'll give you these hoes... FRE if you step out now and avoid a serious ass beating!!! MI: RipTide just flew out of the ring and into PDC!!! (bell rings)

Pimp Daddy Cain v. RipTide:
The match starts off with RipTide fighting PDC on the outside. Holds the momentum for the opening moments of the bout with him droping PDC chin first on the guardrails, and sending him through a table with a suplex. He continues to dominate him to the point he gets PDC into the ring. PDC begins to backpeddle and he then sends him face first into the cornerpost and PDC rolls him up...1...2...kickout. PDC now with the advantage is carrying the match with numerous power moves and weardown holds. PDC carries the momentuym of the match until he attempts a whip into the ropes and RipTide reverses. He sends PDC into the cornerposts and back suplexes him and goes for a pin...1...2..kick out. RipTide continues to carry the edge over PDC until finally he is on the top rope going for a finishing move. Psychotica then races to the ring with a chair qand knocks him off the top rope and attacks him in the ring. The ref calls for the bell.

Winner: RipTide by disqualification

MI: Oh my, Psychotica is beating him senseless and now PDC is trying to pull him off of Riptide. PDC is fronting him and PSYCHOTICA NAILS PDC WITH THE CHAIR!!! HE'S GONE NUTS!!! LN: Here comes some guys in white suits!!! MI: They have come to take him away and now they are having to physically restrain him and put him in a straight jacket.... Man, they need to tkae him away... LN: What a nut... and this ring is a mess now. MI: Standing by now in the back is Scheme Gene. Maybe he can shed some light on this subject... Gene??? (The NEW camera crew along with their ace reporter, Scheme Gene, are on the heels of Psychotica.) Scheme Gene: Well, we are back here waiting for Psychotica to be taken back here to this janitor room where I am being told he will be restrained for the rest of the night and... Here they come now!!! (The men in the jackets bring Psychotica to the back and throw him in the office. Gene and teh reporters then follow him into teh room to conduct the interview.) Scheme Gene: Psychotica... (They turn the corner and their is Psychotica sitting all by himself in a janitor's office.) Scheme Gene: Psychotica, if you will we'd like to ask you a couple questions about what you did to Riptide tonight. Psychotica: Well, what I did tonight was just a taste of what you can expect in the tournament. See I could tell that Riptide was overlooking me. He could already feel the gold around his waist. Well, Riptide is just an example that I'm here in the LOTR and NEW for one reason and one reason only......TO HURT PEOPLE. Scheme Gene: Well I know I was overwhelmed by your actions just now. What about the fans? Why did you make them witness this beating? Psychotica: It really wasn't that bad of a beating. I mean heel, it's not as bad as some of the ass kickings I've handed out in the past. Now you want to ask me about the fans. To tell you the truth, I don't give a damn about them. I mean all they do is cheer for all the pretty boys anyways. Well mabye they should start cheering for the underdog in the NEW. And that would be me. Scheme Gene: Why do you say underdog, you just laid out an established wrestler in the NEW and you say your the underdog? Psychotica: Hey, I may be a few bricks short of a load, but I'm not an idiot. I realize that I'm basically making my NEW debut in this tournament, but I honestly believe that I've got as good a chance as anyone to walk away with the title. Scheme Gene: Good luck against RipTide you may need it. Psychotica: Oh shut the hell up, I don't need luck. You saw what I did to him tonight, well next time he won't have that security to save his sorry ass. (Psychotica rips off the jacket and starts throwing mops, brooms, and a bucket around. It looks like he might have snapped or something.) Scheme Gene: Mike, Larry, back to you... (camera fades back to the arena.) MI: Ladies and gentlemen, we'll be back shortly as we will have Wolverine in action as well as Stunnin Steve and then our big main event for tonight... a rematch betweeen Ru and Jason Wylde!!! Fans, stay tuned for more on Monday Night Massacre!!! (commercial for Bellvue plays as Crazy Joe is narrating and we can see Scotty G and Psychotica staring at the celing fan drooling... ewww!!!)

MI: Welcome back fans,a dn form what I understand, the office that Psychotica is in is locked down so that he cannot escape! LN: Good, all we need is for another Scotty G or Crazy Joe to be running loose in this joint. What a psycho!!! MI: Up next is the NEW Television Champion, Wolverine v. Scorpio!!! Let's get to the ring with Scorpio in the ring standing by for the match... ("Closer" by NIN plays on the video wall and over the PA as the fans go wild. Wolverine is being accompanied by Stonecold.) MI: Ladies and gentlemen, this man coming to the ring right now will be facing Jason Wylde in only a few days to merge the NEW Television and Extreme Titles to begin a new era called "Too Extreme For Television". This title will be defended amongst rookies and up and comers as well as a few of the older wrestlers, that may not want to wait for a World Title shot. LN: Whoever wins this title on Friday will have really established themselves in this federation. Look at people like Jason Bagwell, Ares, and Buck Master... (bell rings)

Wolverine v. Scorpio:
This match starts and stops almost at the same time... They begin to get into a collor and elbow tie up as a cage lowers and a voice is hear over the PA.

Official Decision: No contest

voice: Let us pray... MI: What in the world... voice: Dear heavenly father watching over these two men tonight, please protect them from any danger and any harm that may encounter them. MI: That voice... voice: These young brave men are in the midst of an armegeddon that will fall upon the NEW as of immediately. On their path they may encounter perilious dangers and life threatening situations. (As he continues the cermon, a big splash of liquid falls from teh roof and falls on Scorpio and Wolverine.) voice: I wash these two men with holy water, the blood of Jesus Christ himself, to rid them of thier sins and to protect them from danger... LN: This is not good.... MI: What??? LN: A cross is coming down!!! voice: In the lord's name I pray... MI: It's in the ring and Wolverine and Scorpio are looking a little scared... voice: AMEN!!! (suddenly, a big BLAST explodes from the ring as the cross is suddenly bursted into flames.) voice: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! MI: The cross was burned and Wolverine and Scorpio are trying to get out!!! They are terrified!!! LN: My goodness!!! Who could do something like this??? MI: The cage is coming up adn Stonecold is pulling a frantic Wolvie out of the ring and Scorpio is running through the crowd!!! The cross is gone and a big burned stain remains on the mat!!! Fans, we woill be back after the ring gets cleaned up!!! ("Who Will Save Your Souls" plays as the new Jewel album is being advertised by the mysterious voice.)

MI: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to Monday Night Massacre, and the last match was nothing less than... LN: Just that!!! MI: Our next match will feature Stunnin Steve against Hatchetman of The Rave. Let's go to... ("Voodoo Child" by Jimi Hendrix plays over the PA as Stunnin Steve powerwalks to the ring. He is alone and has an intense look on his face.) MI: Here he comes and he is running right for Hatchetman who is waiting in the ring!!! (bell rings) Stunnin Steve v. Hatchetman:
Steve runs into the ring aned is met with an attack of stomps to the back by Hatchetman. Hatchetman sends Steve to the ropes and connects with a Hatchetkick as Steve rebounds. STeve gets right back up as he turns to pose. Steve then catches him when he turns back around with a punch to the forehead. Steve sends him to the ropes and catches him with a superkick. Steve then pulls a mic out of his trunks and speaks...

SS: Assassin, take a look at this... this is you Friday!!!

(Steve spits on Hatchetman and then...)

SS: Assassin, you said that I was a total disrespect to Hogan? Well, eat this!!!

(Steve runs off the ropes and delivers a legdrop to Hatchetman. He then lifts him up and into a TKO style Stunner. Steve drops him in the middle of the ring and sits him back up by the hair...)

SS: Silent one... come and be the hero now!!! Come and save him!!! COME ON!!!

(Danes comes in from under the ring with a chair and smacks Steve with it. The crowd erupts as Assassin stands over Steve in teh middle of the ring.)

(bell rings)

Winner: Stunnin Steve by disqualification

MI: Here come The Powers That Be coming out from the back, and they are ganging up on The Assassin. Steve is back up now and all five men are standing over him. Grendel pulls Assassin up for Steve and Steve nails him!!! LN: He's in bad trouble... MI: Steve is pulling him back up and he drops him in a stunner ON THE CHAIR!!! SS: You son of a bitch, we'll show you not to f--- with The Powers That motha f---in Be!!! (Grendel reaches into his jeans and pulls out a can of spray paint.) MI: They're spraypainting him with the Powers That Be symbol (THe Wu-Tang thing) and he is helpless in the ring... LN: Here comes Sugar Ray James and The Powers are leaving the ring!!! SRJ: Steve, you stupid little boy... I will stand by this man until he gets what he deserves!!! MI: Ray has joined The Silent Assassin!!! SS: You just stay out of my f---ing business you piece of trash!!! SRJ: Come and get it!!! MI: We'll be back after this!!! (commercial for starving kids plays as Sally Struthers is holding The Green Dragon in her arms as the poor child.) MI: Ladies and gentlemen, it's that time of the night!!! We are on the shank of the evening and we are proud to bring you a sure bloodbath. The NEW Extreme Champion will face off against Ru tonight in this non title bout. ("The Gambler" by Kenny Rogers plays, but no Jason Wylde.) MI: Well, The Gambler is playing, but where is the Extreme Champ??? LN: I have no idea, but he needs to hurry. I'm going to be late for my "appointment". MI: What appontment? LN: I got a "pick up" I gotta make after this... MI: Okay... (All of a sudden, "Chance" by Savatage plays as Jason Wylde runs out on a stick horse wearing chaps and a cowboy hat. The crowd all of a sudden busts out in uncontolable laughter as well as the officials and the commentators.) MI: (crying) Wh... what the hell??? LN: Hmmm..... this is getting interesting!!! MI: Mr. Wylde (choking) is in the ring in his incredibly ridiculous get up and... JW: Well, HEEEEE HAW fellers!!! This is Jason Wylde!!! (Ixnay falls out of his seat and Larry is eating pop corn with a smile on his face and the fans are laughing thier putoots off.) JW: WEll, gee gosh golly dog gone derned it, ya'll was sayin that I was a cowboy er sumthin, so I decided to dressed the part! MUCH obliged... MI: Oh god.... (still laughing and choking) LN: Hmmm..... he hasn't looked this good in ages!!!! JW: Well it sure as heck don't werk with this here new music now does it??? (He drops the stick horse, the hat and the chaps and stomps on them. The fans pop with an ovation like none other and Jason points to the camera.) JW: Ru, prepare to get your ass handed over to you on a silver platter tonight at the hands of the NEW and improved Jason Wylde!!! ("Freak on a Leash" by KORn plays over the PA as Ru walks out of the back with a shopping cart. It has in it barbed wire, a bat, DYNAMITE???, brooms, mops and a STOP sign. Ru gets a full ovation.) LN: Looks like he's loaded for bear... MI: (regathreing himself) Ru is on his way to the ring... (clears his throat) He has some goodies in the cart and he is giving the fans the sign! LN: This is going to be good!!! MI: Ru is riding the cart to the ring and Wylde is calling him out!!! (bell rings) Ru v. Jason Wylde:
MI: Ru is PICKING UP THE CART AND THROWING IT INTO THE RING!!! LN: AND THE CAGE IS COMING BACK DOWN!!! MI: Ru is in and Wylde has the wire and he lassoes it.... (giggling) around Ru's neck... He's jerking him up and pulling him around by the wire, and Ru kicks up a bat!!! LN: He's swinging it back... MI: HOMERUN FOR RU, AND THE FANS ARE GOING WILD!!! LN: This match is too much... MI: Wylde releases the wire and Ru is wrapping it around his fist and he nails Wylde from behind with a axehandle!!! Ru is slaming away at Wylde and it is scraping the flesh off of his back!!! LN: Wylde is falling to the rope and HE KICKS BACK AND HITS RU BETWEEN THE LEGS!!! Wylde s getting up, bleeding all over the place, and he is going for the cart... he is picking it up and HE SLAMS IT ONTO RU'S BACK!!! Ru is hurting and now Jason is picking Ru up and he rams him into the cage!!! Ru's face is cut wide open!!! MI: Man oh man.... I think Wylde is going for the door.... what is he doing??? JW: Hand me that please... LN: What is this??? MI: Michael Buttbuffer is handing him a chair and Wylde is swinging it back and Ru dropkciks it into his face!!! Wylde is downa dn Ru is climbing to the top of the cage and he is dragging Wylde along with him!!! What is going on here???? LN: I dunno, but what else can they do??? MI: He's setting him on top of the cage and IT'S AN ARABIAN FACEBUSTER OFF THE TOP OUT OF THE CAGE!!! They land on a table with broadcasting equipment on it!!! They are both down adn out!!! LN: MAn what a match!!! MI: I think Ru took the brunt of that one, because Wylde is getting back up... Wylde is going for a guardrail??? He is jerking it out of place and he's proping it up against the cage... a crazed fan runs up and kicks Ru!!! LN: Field goal for the people!!! MI: Fans are running to ringside and WE NEED RIOT CONTROL RIGHT NOW!!! A RIOT IS BREAKINGOUT AT RINGSIDE!!! LN: I have never seen anything like this!!! MI: Jason has Ru up and HE SUPLEXES HIM AGAINST THE GUARDRAIL!!! the guardrail falls on top of Ru and Wyulde is stomping on it and HE'S JUMPING UP AND DOWN ON IT NOW!!! Wylde has a wild fire up under like none before!!! LN: Wylde is lying the rail on the floor and the riot is continuing at ringside!!! Security is coming out to containt eh hostile crowd!!! MI: My my my... only in the NEW... Wylde is pulling up Ru and the fan come up and kicks him on his scraped up back!!! RU TAKES THE TIME OUT TO SMASH HIM INTO THE GUARDRAIL WITH A DDT!!! Ru is applying a Ring of Saturn.... or is that.... IT'S A CRIPPLER CROSSFACE ON WYLDE ON THE RAILS!!! LN: The fans are literally tearing down the cage and it collapses!!! The riot is out of control!!! MI: A 400 pound man from the crowd is jumping on Ru with an elbowdrop!!! The cops are coming to take him away!!! Wylde is back up and he is sending him back into the ring and HERE COMES PDC!!! LN: Oh man!!! Is he here to contain teh crowd??? MI: He's in the ring and he stomps Wylde as he goes for the pin!!! He's kicking Wylde and Ru is back up now and he slings the cart into PDC!!! RipTide is jumping into the ring and now he is taking on all three men!!! This one is gone... LN: Psychotica is loose!!! He's on his way to the ring!!! And the riot is getting into the ring!!! MI: We gotta go... see you on Friday... (abrupt cut as a mob mauls the announcers)