(The camera opens up in a locker room area where Wolverine is accompanied by Mr. Reaves and Boomer Karr. Wolvie is wearing nothing but his tights.) Mr. Reaves: Sorry to do it this way Wolvie, it just needs to be done to answer all the questions. (Wolvie stands on a scale and looks down with a depressed look on his face.) Mr. Reaves: You are 232 lbs... that is 3 pounds overweight. sorry Wolvie, but you must forfeit the belt. Wolvie: NO!!!! I'll do anything... I'LL CUT IT OFF!!! THAT'S 2 LBS. RIGHT THERE!!! Mr. Reaves: Sorry but you have a big night ahead of you. Remember??? Wolvie: Oh yeah, here have my belt, I DON'T NEED IT!!! Mr. Reaves: I knew you would see it my way. Tonight will make up for it in the end... (Reaves and Boomer leave the locker room area and a tear rolls down Wolvie's face as the camera fades back into the arena.) Mike Ixnay: Ladies and gentlemen, as you just saw, Wolverine has just given up the World CruiserWeight Title due to the weight limit, but what was that talk all about back there? Bobby Strainin: I don't know, but Reaves and Boomer has soome s--- eating grins on thier faces. I wonder what they have planned... Mike Ixnay: Let's kick off Monday Night Massace, the first edition of our second year of New Extreme Wrestling as we go to opening bout between Stonecold and Steve Slash... (bell rings) Stonecold v. Steve Slash Slash is off to an early start on SC. Slash with a clothesline, SC ducks and he kicks Slash in the mid section. SC with a DDT on Slash!!! Pin..1...2... kickout. Slash with a legsweep on SC. Slash pulls him up and... A HARLEM SIDE KICK!!! Slash is just killing SC right now. Slash pulls up SC and....PILEDRIVER!!!! Slash is going for the pin..1...2... kickout!!!! SC throws Slash into the ref and he's knocked-out!!! Slash with a DVD!!! HERE COME STEELER!!! Steeler makes the count...1...2.. HE PUNCHES SLASH IN THE FACE!!! Steeler pulls Slash up... STEELDRIVER!!! SC PINS THE REF IS UP..1...2...3.. Stonecold WINS!!!! (bell rings) Winner: Stonecold Mike Ixnay: Oh my god, Steeler just stole this one right out from under Slasha dn the two men are having some words with each other right now and HERE COMES THE ALLIANCE OF CHANCE!!! Bobby Strainin: Fans, this one could get hostile. Mike Ixnay: I'll say, Grant is having to restrain Slash and the rest of The Allince is having to hold back Steeler. I am not sure if the AoC is really wanting either of these men in thier group that bad to put up with this crap. Bobby Strainin: Slash needs to get a life is what I say... Mike Ixnay: Ladies and gentlemen, last night you saw Death Valley win the World Tag Team Titles under VERY questionable circumstances. Steeler got involved to try and make Slash drop the ball, but wound up helping him get the winning pinfall. I don't think that Steeler's head is in the right place if he was trying to cost his stablemate or whatever the match. Oh well, we also witnessed the revival of The Powers That Be with the refoerming of the Tag Team of the Year as voted by the NEW fans... The Lady Killers! Fans, let's go to the ring to see the Lady Killers in action on thier first night back to work... (bell rings) The Lady Killers v. The DOA Buckmaster and Humpster start off things and Buckmaster with a leg trip on Hump. Buckmaster with a standing-tow hold. Hump is in real pain here folks. Buckmaster lets go and picks up Hump and...PILEDRIVER!!! Buck drags him to the corner and tags in PDC. PDC with a kick to the gut. PDC pulls him up and sends him to the ropes. PDC attemps a clothes line but Hump with a Flying Head Scissors!!! Hump tags in Redeemer. Redeemer with a clothesline and another and another REDEEMER IS ON FIRE!!! Redeemer with a Death Drop...1...2...kickout by PDC. Redeemer with a body slam on PDC. Leg drop and PDC rolls out of thre way and tags in Buck. Buck with a DDT on Redeemer. Buck pulls him up and...POWERBOMB!!! Hump comes in and PDC sends him to the outside. Buckmaster puls Redeemer to the corner and...BUCK DROP!!! Pin..1...2...3 LADY KILLERS WINS!!! (bell rings) Winners: The Lady Killers Mike Ixnay: Wow!!! what an impressive return by The Lady Killers! When we come back, Nate Tesch makes his return against Dutch Daon, the former... and yes I DID say former World Champion. Also we will see the World CruiserWeight Title Match, and much much more on Massacre!!! (commercial for UWA wrestling in Union City, Tennessee plays.) Mike Ixnay: Welcome back fans, as you all know, Wolvie just lost the CW belt at the top of the show. Things are just not looking good for him tonight. Bobby Strainin: But remember what Mr. Reaves said at the top of the program. Wolvie is going to get his sometime tonight. Mike Ixnay: Let's go the United Satest Title Match as Bowen Danes faces Wolverine for the US title... (bell rings) Wolverine v. Bowen Danes (United States Title) Danes starts off hard with a slap to Wolvie's chest. Wolvie counters with a kick to the midsection. Wolvie with a body slam. Wolvie to the ropes... LEG DROP!!! Wolvie picks up Danes.... DANES WITH A SMALL PACKAGE..1...2... kickout!!! Wolvie up diving clothesline. Wolvie with a back spin kick. Danes goes to the corner. Danes draws Wolvie in and turns Wolvie to the corner and is hitting him into the ground. SC is coming to the ring with a wheelchair!!! He throws it to Wolvie... DANES DROP KICKS WOLVIE INTO THE WHEELCHAIR!!! Danes picks up Wolvie.... DDT ON THE CHAIR!!! Pin..1....2..... kickout!!! Danes pulls up Wolvie and...LOW-BLOW BY WOLVIE!!! DVD ON THE CHAIR!!! THEY'RE KNOCKED OUT!!! 1....2...3....4...5...6...7...8.... Danes pins Wolvie..1....2.. kickout!!! Danes picks up Wolvie, Wolvie grabs his legs... DVD!!! He's going for the DAS!!! Danes is in the center of the ring but the ref is knocked out. Wolvie isn't letting go. Wolvie notices the ref and he's trying to revieve him. HERE COMES ARES FROM THE CROWD!!! HE HAS A CHAIR!!! (you hear a loud smack as Wolvie gets nailed by the chair.) Ares hit Wolvie with the chair, and Ares rolls Danes on top. Ares goes to revive the ref, and he counts..1...2...3 DANES WIN THE US TITLE!!! (bell rings) Winner: Bowen Danes wins the United States Championship Danes has left the ring, and Wolvie sees the evidence in the ring. That's EnFuego's throne!!! Wolverine: Ares, tonight, I'm gonna retire this damn chair over your damn head! Now get out of my way!!! Wolvie is pissed, and Danes is the champ! Are next, are former World Champions, Dutch Daon and Nathaniel Tesch in one on one action as we go to the ring... (bell rings) Dutch HeavyMetal Daon v. Nathaniel Tesch Tesch starts off with a running fore-arm smash to Daon's head. Tesch picks up Daon....SIDE SUPLEX!!! Tesch pulls him up again and....GERMAN SUPLEX!!! Tesch up again...DDT!!! Daon is in real trouble here. Tesch picks him up....DAON WITH A DROP KICK TO THE KNEE!!! Tesch looks hurt bad. Daon trys to pull him up but Tesch can't stand on one knee. Daon with a DDT. Daon picks him up...BACK BREAKER!!! Daon picks Tesch up again and...TESCH WITH A LOW-BLOW!!! Tesch is trying to stand but he just falls to the ground. Daon is holding himself and...Daon with a suplex. Tesch is trying to get to his feet. Daon helps him up and....PILEDRIVER!!! Daon is pulling Tesch to the ropes picks him up and...IRON MAIDEN. Cover....1.....2.....3 Daon wins!!! (bell rings) Winner: Dutch Daon Mike Ixnay: Daon pulls out another win tonight and... uh oh... what is this? (Jason Wylde stands at the runway with the world Title) Jason Wylde: Daon, my old friend... isn't it ironic that a few weeks back, I was the one that was not on top, and needed you for advice? I appreciate what you did for me so much, and respect you so much... not only as a firend, but as a profesional, to give you a rematch this Friday for this belt. Do you accept? Dutch Daon: All my MetalHeads out there... my fans of TRUE metal out there, if you think that I should get a rematch this Friday, give Wylde the mighty Hail!!! (The fans respond with a bold and mighty HAIL!!!) Dutch Daon: I think the fans have spoken... Jason Wylde: I'll see you Friday friend... Mike Ixnay: Fans, you heard it here first. Friday, you get the rematch between Daon and Wylde... probably one of the biggest title matches in NEW history. We'll be back fans with the CruiserWeight Title Match after this, so don't go away!!! (commercial for Prep-H hemmroidal cream plays... god knows Wolvie needs some...) (The camera opens back in as Matt Foster makes his grand entrance to "Bittersweet Symphony" and the Lady Killers and a flock of fine ho's follow him to the ring.) Mike Ixnay: Welcome back fans, it is time to decide on the new CruiserWeight Champion. As you all know, Wolvie's US Title Match got completely sabotaged by this man, Ares... Bobby Strainin: These two have had a biter rival since they started in the NEW. Mike Ixnay: It was always the wars between wolvie and Alpha Storm that used to fill the arenas in anticipation for matches such as Wolvie v. EnFuego (Hair v. Mask), Wolvie v. Ares (Hell In A Cell)... (Ares makes his entrance with Boomer as "Live And Let Die" by G'N R plays.) Mike Ixnay: Indeed, he is one of the main men in line for the World Title... but the headline match for Carnage Bowl right now, is Ares v. Grendel. Bobby Strainin: And Matt Foster, he is looking ready for tonight. Danes has already walked off with gold, Matt could get his first title here tonight!!! (Matt gets on the mic.) Matt Foster: Ares, Boomer, you two used to be a big deal... USED TO BE! You better get a good look right now at the three Ladykillers before your eyes, because you will not only be witnessing the three studliest grapplers in this busines... can I get some back-up from the fans here? (Huge pop!) Matt Foster: ...but you are looking at the men who run this industry now. You just might say we are the POWERS THAT BE! (bell rings) Matt Foster v. Ares (CruiserWeight Title) Ares starts off strong with a running clothesline on Foster, foster spins around it and TORNADOE TAKEDOWN BY FOSTER, Foster follows up with an attmpted a clothesline of his own, Ares ducks, Ares goes for a sidekick, but foster ducks, foster with a belly to belly suplex on Ares!!! Ares runs back after Foster, and Foster with a armdrag takedown into a headlock on the ground. Foster is rocking it back, but Ares is pulling up... Ares elobows him in the back and sends him to the ropes. Ares with a leapfrog, and foster back with a somesault over Ares as Ares rolls back. Foster with a sunset filp to ares. Foster has him in a pinning situation, but Ares hugs the bottom rope to get the immediate break... the ref counts...1...2....3...4...5.... the ref is forcing the break, but Ares rolls Foster out of the ring with a headscissors. Ares is running to the opposite side, and he catches Foster with a baseball slide kick to the mouth. Ares now with a springboard plancha on Foster!!! Ares is pepped up!!! Ares grabs a chair from the audience, and Foster with a strand of barbed wire from under the ring... Ares swings with the chair and Foster ducks. Foster with a clothesline with the barbedwire on Ares!!! Foster drops the wire on the chair and he grabs Ares as he gets up.... FACEBUSTER ON THE CHAIR AND WIRE!!! Boomer is getting antsy!!! He is grabbing under his pants and into his... package and he pulls out.... A HERRING!!! Boomer is fixing to chop down the mightiest tree in the forest with... A HERRING!!! Boomer hits Foster with the salmon... er HERRING, and foster turns around enraged.... Ares is back up and... LOWBLOW ON FOSTER!!! Ares rolls in Foster, and Wolvie... WOLVIE IS RUNNING OUT WITH ENFUEGO'S THRONE!!! Wolverine: Ares, I told you I was going to retire this throne tonight, and I'm gonna retire it... RIGHT OVER YOUR HEAD. Now can ya dig that? Grendel is in the ring, and the ref is trying to get Wolvie away from the ring... Grendel clotheslines ares!!! Grendel pulls him back up and POWERBOMB ON ARES!!! Grendel just rolled Foster on top of Ares, and Wolvie is telling the ref to turn aroud as Grendel leaves the ring... the ref pins....1....2...3..... MATT FOSTER WINS!!! (bell rings) The match is over, and Wolvie is in with the chair, and Grendel runs off Boomer Karr, and WOLVIE SMACKS THE THRONE AGAINST ARES' BACK!!! Grendel is back in the ring, and they are kicking and laughing at Ares... fans, we'll be back... (commercial) Mike Ixnay: Welcome back fans and... what is that altar that was brought out all about? Bobby Strainin: I dunno, but I don't like this... ("for Whom the bells Toll" by Metallica plays as a tall man in shrouds is being accompanied to the altar by another, SHORTER man in shrouds and a flock of "druids". A clap of thunder ignites the arena with a cloud of anticipation... maybe even fear falling upon the crowd, as the tall, cloaked man sits at the altar in the runway.) Man: NEW, the place that used to be home for so long... my children, I have returned, and with a vengence. YOu have all lived in piece for far too long since my abscence. I am back to spread Havoc, and Darkness upon the land that is the NEW, and leave the Carnage of all who oppose me in my wake... (the crowd is in complete silence as this man speaks.) Man: I have once felt the Extreme and Tag gold around my waist, but that was another time... I am back to show you all what destruction, and darkness is all about. Marcotte once felt my wrath as he was pinned up to this very altar in front of a housecrowd, just to set the example. Prepare for the dark cloud that will soon drift over you... (A bolt of lightning strikes the altar as the arena goes black. The fans go wild, and a few moments later, the lights go back on, and the altar, the druids, and the mysterious man is gone.) Mike Ixnay: What a night this has been... And now, it is time for the main event as we go to the ring... (The "stockholders of the NEW" (just a bunch of old men in suits and ties, doesn't matter... they are just the people, who combined, carry 51% of the stock...the other 49% being held by Mr. Reaves) enter to sit at ringside as Warlock Hall enters the ring.) Mike Ixnay: There have been a lot of sweeping changes in NEW Wrestling ever since Reaves made the company public. He is still chief executive officer, but with the old boys' club that owns the stock, he could be at their mercy at any time. (Reaves makes his entrance with Commish Boomer in tow to a chorus of boos.) Mr. Reaves: It's time to get this show on the road... Warlock, come on down!!! (Hall enters to a lukewarm reception... he hasn't done anything to piss off the fans, but they know he's worthless anyhow.) Mike Ixnay: Warlock hasn't been too popular since letting the Hall of Fame ceremony get out of control this weekend... you know how much money was put into that production? Only to have 'The Grifter' Dante Edmonds waltz in and wreck the place... I haven't seen so many cake frosting stains and popped balloons in my life... and I've been to a lot of crazy children's birthday parties... Mr. Reaves: And his opponment... from Death Valley!!! He stands tall at 6 foot 3, and weighs 232 lbs. give a warm welcome, to the only man in NEW history to hold all of the company's titles... Mike Ixnay: Oh no, it had better not be... Mr. Reaves: He's the people's champion, and your rolemodel.... WOLVIE!!!! Bobby Strainin: YEAH!!! WOO HOO!!! Mike Ixnay: NOOOOOOOOO!!!!! This is terrible!!! Bobby Strainin: Apparently the fans like it!!! Mike Ixnay: I can't believe it... (bell rings) MAIN EVENT: Warlock Hall v. ??? (For the Presidency) They lock up and they are just walking around the ring...What's going on here??? Wolvie pushes Hall. Warlock back into a tie-up and...THEY'RE DOING THE TANGO AND WOLVIE'S LEADING!!! What da...Wolvie's doing a twirl around and clothesline on Hall. Hall's sent to the outside by the clothesline and....SPINGBOARD PLACHA ONTO WARLOCK!!! Wolvie is raising da roof!!! Wolvie's pulling up Hall and....TITTY PINCH ON WOLVIE!!!! WOLVIE'S IN PAIN!!!! OLVIE WITH A TITTY PULL!!!! THEY'RE HOLDING EACH OTHERS BOOBS!!! Wolvie and Hall breaks the infamous titty pinch and Wolvie grabs a beer??? Hall grabs one...THEY'RE TOASTING TO EACH OTHER!?!? THEY'RE CURLING THEIR ARMS AROUND EACH OTHER AS THEY DRINK!!! Wolvie spits it at Hall. Wolvie: DAMN IT'S WARM!!! Wolvie bitch slapping Hall, again, again, again...IT'S A BITCH SLAPPING FIGHT!!! Wolvie picks up Hall and is dragging him throught the crowd and up the steps. Warlock is hitting his head on the steps. They're at the refreahment area. Wolvie lays Warlock on the counter. Wolvie: Anyone want some nachos??? YOu here you go... Wolvie drops the nachos onto Warlocks face!!! Wolvie: Anyone want some beer...Warlock I know you do!!! Wolvie poors the beer in Warlocks mouth and Warlock is coughing it up!!! Wolvie drags him over to the bathrooms. THEY'RE IN THE WOMEN'S BATHROOM!!! WOLVIE IS PEEKING UNDER THE STALLS!!! Wolvie opens one and...THEIR A WOMAN PISSING!!! Wolvie: Hey beautiful... WOLVIE GET'S KICKED DOWN BELOW!!! Warlock: Hey sexy... WARLOCK GET'S ONE TOO!!! They're in alot of pain right know folks. Wolvie pulls up Warlock and they're in the men's bathroom. Wolvie is looking for a stall but...WOLVIE DUNKS HIS HE IN A URINAL!!! Wolvie with some shampoo...HE'S WASHING WARLOCK'S HAIR!!! Wolvie: SMELLS LIKE TEEN SPIRT!!! Wolvie rams his head into the urinal. WARLOCK WITH A LOW-BLOW!!! Warlock s throwing toilet paper and garbage cans and...HE'S TRYING TO USE THE SINK!!! Wolvie is up and...HE DRIVES WARLOCK'S FACE INTO THE SINK!!! WOLVIE IS TRYING TO USE THE SINK!!! Wolvie's asking Warlock to help him and..WARLOCK WITH A LOW-BLOW!!! Warlock is kicking Wolvie in the gut. WOLVIE WITH A LOW_BLOW!!! Wolvie is dragging him to the offices. Wolvie throughs Hall onto the table. The phone's ringing??? Wolvie: Hello, NEW The innovators of EXTREME Wrestling Wolvie speaking. Warlock???He's busy right now...who is this??? He's daughter??? Well I'm kicking his ass know but maybe we can do something later??? 6:00??? Fine... Hey Warlock say good bye to your daughter.... WOLVIE BREAKS THE PHONE OVER WARLOCK'S HEAD!!! The phone's ringing again... Wolvie: Hello, NEW EXTREME Wrestling the new NEW Prez speaking...Warlock??? Who is this??? His sister??? Hey were you at the Halloween party??? Snow White??? Hey Warlock I DID YOUR SISTER!!! Wolvie just smashed the reciever over Warlock's head, and Wolvie goes for the pin... Wolvie: Hey, where's the ref? Oh well... Wolvie is counting...1...2..kickout!!! Wolvie pcks up Warlock and he is sending him back out the door, and they are haded back to the men's room. Wolvie slams Warlock into the doorway, and now he's dragging him into the room... he's checking the stalls... Wolvie: Anyone in there? Wolvie busts into the stall, and REFEREE MILLS LANE IS MASTURBATING!!! Mills Lane: Hey, let's get it on!!! Wolvie: Hey warlock, look at this!!! Warlock is holding himself up by Wolvie's shoulders... Warlock: Hey man, you may want to use some baby lotion on that... Wolvie slams his head into the wall!!! Mills Lane: Hey, get out of here!!! Wolverine is whipping Warlock to the opposite wall, and into the sink... Wolvie shoves his head into the sink, and turns on the water!!! Wolvie: Is that refreshing? Warlock: (gargling) Wha??? Wolvie is putting him in the DDT posittion, and he is dragging him back out of the room. Wolvie is going into the halls, and...THE PINKY PULL!!! Warlock is dazed!!! Warlock is down to one knee, and Wolvie is doing a stepover, and WARLOCK IS BITING WOLVIE'S ASS!!! Wolvie is holding his ass and Warlock with a bulldog!!! Warlock puolls up Wolvie and sets him up for the Outsider's Edge, and WOLVIE PULLS HIM UP AND INTO A DVD!!! Wolvie goes into the storage room and he has a box of Scotty G's old trinkets!!! Wolvie: Hey man, I always wondered why women liked these things... Warlock, tell me why... Wolvie just pulled out Warlock's tights, and he shoves a dildo up Warlock's ass!!! Wolvie is shoving it in and out!!! Wolvie: Does that feel good? Warlock: (in a drunken tone) No.... Wolvie leaves the dildo in his arse, and he pulls the tights back up and he shoves him into the women's room... Wolvie is searching through a box of Stunnin Steve' sold props now in the storage room... Wolvie: Hey Warlock, I found something that might fit you nicely!!! Wolvie has the old McGehee High School Cheerleading outfit that Steve used to put people in!!! Wolvie runs up to Warlock and he puts it on him in the outfit, and a woman is coming out of one of the stalls. Woman: what is the meaning of this??? Wolvie: Hey baby, wanna wrestle? The woman kicks Wolvie in the nuts!!! Warlock: (drunk still) Wha??? The woman twice as hard, and Warlock is on the ground drooling on the floor!!! This is exciting!!! Wolvie is holding himself and he is trying to pull Warlock up. he sends him out of the room, and kicks him down the stairs to the backstage area leading back to the ring!!! Wolvie holding his package, is grabbing a janitor's broom... HE'S SWEEPING WARLOCK TO THE BACKSTAGE AREA!!! Wolvie: Just taking out some garbage... Wolvie is sweeping him over to a casket!!! Wolvie: I guess there are easier ways of disposing of trash like you... Wolvie puts him in the casket, and locks it up. Wolvie is running the casket to the ring now!!! I think we've seen it all!!! Wolvie is running him to the ring and he has a mic... Wolvie: Warlock, if you don't answer the 20 count, your ass is history... Mills Lane is coming back out with a Kama Sutra book and he is adjusting his pants... Mills Lane: 1...2.....3....4..... Wolvie: Help him!!! 5....6......7....9....???? crowd: 7....11....69er.... Mills Lane: Ah f---, lost count....18....19....20!!!! Wolvie is yor winner!!! (bell rings and the fans go wild) Reaves, Boomer, and Wolvie are all standing in the ring celebrating the reins of power being back in their hands. The fans are booing as the corporate triumverate embrace one another. Mr. Reaves does a speech about how it is his way and no other way from now on, he has the stockholders, the championship comittee, and "all the support of the fans" (big boo to that!) to help run this company. And as far as anyone trying to undermine his authority? It will never, ever, happen again! Warlock Hall: There's just one thing, Reaves... (Warlock chokes out to the mic...) Warlock Hall: There is one decision I approved as President that you can't counteract... ask the stockholders, and ask the fans... I'm sure they'll approve. Mr. Reaves: What else can you do, Hall? Boomer is acting commish! Wolvie is presiding over all internal affairs, and I OWN this joint! Warlock Hall: But who's heading up the championship comittee, Reaves? Who has to pass all the booking decisions to make sure you don't endanger the company? To make sure you don't you don't taint the good name of the belts? Mr. Reaves: Well, the VP has that power, and it can, of course, be delegated to a comitte chairman... Warlock Hall: Yes! Championship comittee chairman... Warlock Hall! (The fans cheer.) Wolvie: One problem, Hall... I don't have a VP. Warlock Hall: "No, you're right... but ex-President Warlock Hall did! I signed the agreement just before I walked that aisle tonight... my last executive decision, if you will. I can't change the fact that Wolvie is the new Prez... but you can't stop the most popular man in NEW history... NEW's Wrestler of the Year... from doing his thing as the new VP! (The fans begin to cheer.) Mr. Reaves: Are you saying what I think you're saying? Warlock Hall: Let's hear it for the new sherrif in town! (All the stockholders stand up and look to the aisle. A spotlight hits the curtian, and the stockholders begin to applaud. "We Will Rock You" by Queen begins blaring on the speakers. Wearing "a $500 shirt and pants straight off the Paris runway models" (according to the broadcaster), Des appears from behind the curtain. The fans POP (like, the hugest pop since the beginning of time). The stockholders sit down, the fans calm down, Warlock his rolling on the floor laughing his ass of, and the unholy three in the ring are leaning in for a closer listen as Des pulls out a mic.) Des: Well, well, well... if it isn't my three oldest nearest and dearest friends... it's funny what this business does to ya, isn't it... Wolvie? Oh, and Boomer, buddy, I remember when we used to ride that Highway together... but that was a lifetime ago. As for you, Mr. Reaves, it is going to be a pleasure getting checks from you in the mail each week. I'm sure you'll have just as good a time in signing them! Reaves (nervous): Well, VP Des, eh? That's great! You're an honest guy, a team player.... Boomer (shit-eating grin): Yeah, bro, we've had some great times together! Wolvie: You know I'm your #1 fan! Des: That's fine and dandy, then I'm sure you won't mind me putting Warlock in charge of some odd jobs as it pertains to the championship comittee. Wolvie: That's great! The wisdom of Solomon, this man has... Boomer: I'm glad you're still good to go, Des, especially after that unfortunate incident at the Hall of Fame ceremony. Des: Funny you should mention that... Dante Edmonds was a rather random attendee at that invitation-only event... it's almost as if somebody set it up to make me... and therefore Warlock... look bad. Mr. Reaves: Well, I wouldn't really know, Des... the only contact I've ever had with the Grifter was earlier this evening when I finalized... THE DEAL. Des: What deal? Mr. Reaves: The deal that is bringing the NEW a true superstar... not some old retired has-been with a bum knee and a no-talent wife... Boomer: And I'm sure he's not talking about your wife, Des... Wolvie: I DID NOT HAVE SEXUAL RELATIONS WITH THAT WOMAN! I am NOT President Clinton... Mr. Reaves: Ladies and gentlemen, coming to NEW Wrestling... Dante Edmonds! (The fans boo as a higlight clip of the Hall of Fame disaster plays on the screen. The clip suddenly cuts off, and the Powers that Be appear on the screen.) Grendel: Hey man, you know who we are don't ya? Stunnin Steve: I think they barely got past the third grade. Tell em G! Grendel: Well boys, we ARE The Powers THat Be here in the NEW. you all made one big mistake, because the balance of power has been shifted, and from here on in, NEW Wrestling is going to be a level playing field... and the real test will be at Carnage Bowl '99 as I take on Ares in teh Main Event. Ares, tonight was a sample of what we will do to you in (looking at his watch) under three weeks. Ares, if I were you, I'd take all the steroids I could by then, because The Powers are gonna f--- you up. See ya sugar! Stunnin Steve: Cuz you know that the Powers That Be... and the new VP Des...are gonna rock ya! (The monitor fades out as the unholy three kick the ring ropes and curse Stunnin' Steve. Warlock Hall is sharing drinks with the stockholders. And Des is pointing to the crowd and clapping his hands as Queen's "We Will Rock You" blare on the speakers. Meanwhile, the monitor cuts in and out on where the highlight tape was cut off... it is a hazy picture, but clearly a close-up of a deranged pair of eyes... belonging to the partycrasher, Dante Edmonds. Fade to copyright.)