The lights dim, and thousands of fans in the arena get on their feet to make some noise as a spotlight falls on the old MNM broadcast position tucked safely away in the back of the building. A bulldozer comes charging through... at the helm, NEW Vice President Des. The fans scream as the bulldozer demolishes the old booth. After turning the structure into rubble, Des steps out of the bulldozer and pulls out a mic. Des: "Extreme wrestling calls for extreme announcing! Here is the original Mr. Massacre, Tobias Sawyer!" The old school manager waddles down the aisle to much applause, finally making a seat at the new broadcast table right at ringside. He puts on his headset as Des and the bulldozer dissapear into the back. TS: "Is this thing on? Hello, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to Monday Night Massacre! You know, this is an extreme place to wrestle, and now the announcing is going to follow suit. Say, I seem to remember a certain NEW Extreme champion in the ranks who went by the name Mr. Monday Morning. I say it's time he comes back to the future!" The former Triple M (now billed under his real name, Johnny Von Truehon,) in a suit and tie, walks down the aisle to mild applause. He pulls out a mic. JVT: "Show some proper respect, garbage people!" The fans jeer as he tosses the mic to an attendent and makes his way to the ringside table, right next to Toby. TS: "It's a good thing that trick knee of yours took you out of the sport, Johnny, because if you were wrestling instead of just announcing, I'm sure you'd be booed right out of the building." JVT: "At least these people remember who I am, old timer, let's get to the card." The Jumbo-Tron displays tonight's action... The Food Chain v. The Inferno Wolves The Saltine Slayer v. RipTide Shawn Steele v. Steve Slash The Nugget World Order & The Cardinal v. The Lady Killers & Matt Foster Sport Jones v. Bigg Joe-Joe ("Too Extreme For Television" Title) and in the main event... MAIN EVENT: Bowen Danes v. Jason Wylde (United States Heavyweight Title) JVT: "This should be a great way to kick off the new year of Massacre, Toby." TS: "Most certainly. We'll be right back, folks." Commercial for the exciting new wrestling site... www.newwrestling.com! TS: "Our first competitors are in the ring, let's get right to the action! The Food Chain v. The Inferno Wolves: The bell has rung, and Grant and Wolf jump KFC and Watermellon at the bell. KFC ducks a clothesline by Grant, and Wolf with a dropkick on Watermellon... Grant with a slam on KFC, and he goes over to work over Watermellon with Wolf. Grant and Wolf with a doublesuplex on Watermellon, and Grant is calling for something... Wolf is going to the top rope, and Grant pulls up Watermellon... GRANT WITH A DEATH VALLEY DRIVER ON WATERMELLON FELLON, AND WOLF OFF THE TOP WITH A SHOOTING STAR PRESS!!! Grant pulls up KFC, and he whips him to the ropes... Wolf cathces him with a droptoehold, AND GRANT NAILS KFC BANDIT WITH AN INFERNO KICK AS HE FALLS TO THE GROUND!!! Wolf pins KFC, and Grant pins Watermellon...1...2...3.... The Inferno Wolves win!!! (bell rings) TS: "The Inferno Wolves win and... what is Boomer out here for?" JVT: "It's Boomer, for christ's sake, he's the man! He can do whatever he wants, especially now that he's the Commish." TS: "And he's most certainly in the pocket of one Mr. Reaves..." JVT: "You only wish you were in that pocket, Toby. Maybe you could afford a better toupee." Boomer Karr: "Mr. Reaves sold out your contracts to me, and in every way, shape and form, I OWN YOUR ASSES FROM NOW TO CARNAGE BOWL, and after that, you and your firend are all fired... IF you survive to recieve your pink slips..." JVT: "HA HA HA! Now that's what I call effective business management..." TS: "Folks, let's go to our next bout!" The Saltine Slayer v. RipTide: The bell has rung, and RipTide with a running clothesline, and Slayer ducks, Slayer rebounds with a roundhouse kick to the back of the head! Slayer dazes Rip, and he dropkicks him into the turnbuckles!!! Rip falls back, and Slayer attempts a belly to back, but Rip falls back with it... RIPTIDE WITH A SLEEPER ON SALTINE SLAYER!!! Slayer is running around in it thought, and he's runnign toward the turnbuckles and he sends RipTide into the turnbuckles!!! The Saltine Slayer hoists RipTide to the top rope, and HERE COMES BOOMER KARR!!! Slayer is going for a belly to belly off the middle turnbuckle, but Boomer holds his leg!!! Slayer falls back, and RipTide falls on top of him! RipTide pulls up Slayer and TIDAL BURST ON SLAYER!!! RipTide goes for the pin..1...2...3... Riptide wins!!! (bell rings) TS: "RipTide wins this one, but I don't quite know what to make of this one. The Saltine Slayer has a mic, and Boomer is laughing at him." Saltine Slayer: "Hey yo honky! Wassup wit yo white ass gettin all up in my bi'ness? Why don't go back to whe' yo came from..." JVT: : "Boomer is coming back to the ring, and this is not looking to pretty, kiddies..." TS: "I'd say not... they are face to face in the ring right now. I don't like the smell of things..." JVT: "That's funny, I was thinking the same thing when I took my seat mext to you. About time to change the odor eaters in those loafers, Toby." (Slayer and Boomer are nose to nose, as the fans are pointing out of the stands.) TS: "THREE HUGE MEN IN BLACK ARE JUMPING OUT OF THE AUDIENCE, AND THEY ARE STORMING THE RING!!! THEY ARE ATTACKING THE SALTINE SLAYER!!! " JVT: "YEAH, BABY! ARE THESE BOOMER'S WRESTLERS FOR CARNAGE BOWL???" TS: "I... I guess so, but here comes the rest of The Food Chain to help out Slayer, and the men step out of the ring and back up behind Boomer..." (The four men are backpeddling out of the arena...) Boomer Karr: "I stay one step ahead of you goofs, so after carnage bowl, you will never work another wrestling show again. And with all the power vested in me, I will see to it that it happens that way..." JVT: "Beautiful! And I thought I was a power broker..." TS: "Folks, we're about to see Shawn Steele take on Steve Slash. And I wonder, it seems Slash is looking over his shoulder. could it be because of the way he has been being treated by the AoC lately? Kind of being left out in the wind, and ridiculed by other members?" JVT: "I think some people just might have a self-esteem problem." Shawn Steele v. Steve Slash: Slash starts off with a lockup and Steele with a hard kick to the sternum. Steele is doing some roundhouse punches to the back of Slash, and he backs him up to the corner... Steele is pounding away at Slash and SLASH REVERSES STEELE INTO THE CORNER!!! Slash is going to work on Steele with punches and kicks, and now a whip to the opposite end... Steele hits ahard and Slash is running to the opposite end, and Steele lifts up his leg and catches him with a big boot...Slash is dazed, and Steele is lifting up Slash for a... IT'S THE STEELEDRIVER!!! Steele pins...1...2..3... Steele wins!!! (bell rings) TS: "Steele won this one and..." Steve Slash: "HEY!!!" JVT: "What the???" Steve Slash: "Grant, I want you to come out here right now... I need to ask you something..." TS: "Here comes Grant, and he is holding onto both of the World Tag Team belts. Something don't look right here..." JVT: "You know what it is? That a no-talent like Slash could be allowed to stand in the same ring as the great Blue Inferno." Steve Slash: "Grant, what in the hell was that with Wolf last week? Where do you stand man? I'm feeling that I'm all alone here... you are holding both fo the belts that WE won, and of all people, YOU are treating me like an outsider... what is the deal?" Steve Grant: "Well Slash you haven't been... 'measuring up to our standards' in the AoC lately. I've carried the team off of my name alone all this time, and it is time for you to recognize who the man in the team is, so you are being voted out..." TS: "Wolf comes out and attacks Slash from behind!!! Wolf and Grant on Slash, doubleteaming him, and Grant is pulling up Slash...WOLF WITH A HURRICARANNA ON SLASH!!! Wolf pulls him back up and GRANT WITH A DVD!!!" JVT: "Here comes Nathaniel Tesch!!!" TS: "Tesch is in the ring now, and Grant and Wolf slide out of the ring. Tesch is standing over Slash, helpng im up... I think the odds are evened up!" Steve Grant: "Tesch, you have sunk to the lowest levels now, alligning with a loser like Slash. At Carnage Bowl, Nick and I'll destroy you both." TS: "Holy moses! This most certainly has been an exciting first hour of Monday Night Massacre!" JVT: "Don't short circuit your pacemanker just yet, old timer, the best is yet to come..." Commercial for "NEW's Greatest Hits" video... coming soon. JVT: "Welcome back to the Johnny Von Truehon show! I'm your host..." TS: "Now, now, Johnny..." The lights begin to flicker. JVT: "See, God is punishing you for interrupting my show, Toby." Down from the rafters comes a burning X and a rather tall, hooded man stands atop it.... "For Whom The Bell Tolls" by Metallica plays in the background.... As the Burning X settles in center of ring, Up comes an Alter with men in Red Hooded robes all standing with there arms folded....Then HE SPEAKS man: "I once reigned supreme here and NOW I WILL ONCE AGAIN.... The Carnival is back.. Bigger Stronger than ever.... Who will it be... Who will be the first soul to be snatched from within taken to the land of ill repute.... Who will be first to feel the carnage that will happen when they meet eye to eye with the underlord himself... Who will be this opponent... I was feared... I was shunned and now I am back to wreak the Havoc that I once did many months ago.... " (HE then raises his arms in the air as a lightening bolt strikes him... and the alter goes up in smoke.... The rest of the hooded men surround the alter.... as it rises into the rafters.... the music plays again as the hodded men all kneel to one knee and raise there arms over head in an X.. The ring fills with smoke and when it clears the ring is empty.....) TS: "Dear Lord, what in the hell was that?" JVT: "Eh? What? I went to go to the can, what'd I miss?" TS: "Oh, brother..." JVT: "You wish you were my brother, then maybe I'd loan you some money for a new outfit, you cheap bas-" TS: "Look out, a six man's comin' your way!" The Nugget World Order & The Cardinal v. The Lady Killers & Matt Foster: Here we go Foster and Cardinal start it off. Foster with an armbar and a slap. Foster is slapping Cardinal around right now. To the ropes... CLOTHESLINE BY FOSTER!!! Cardinal rolls over and tags in Head. Head with a slam. Pull up and Head with a DDT on Foster. Head up and... FOSTER WITH A T-BONE SUPLEX!!! Foster rolls over and tags in PDC. PDC with a legdrop on Head. PDC pull up and he sends him to the outside. Foster and Buck are double teaming on Head and Cardinal and Freak are going to help Head. The four are battleing on the outside. PDC WITH A SUICIDE DIVE!!! IT'S KAOS!!! The ref is trying to get some order in the ring and he's calling for the bell. There is no winner in this and they all are heading to the back!!! And here comes Commish Karr!!! Boomer Karr: "Ladies and gentlemen... at Carnage Bowl 2 it will be Cardinal v. Foster for the CW Title and Lady Killers v. Nugget World Order for the Tag Titles. And there MUST be a winner! Both matches will be in a steel cage, ANYTHING GOES. Thank you." TS: "Boomer's turning to leave, as we..." Matt Foster: "Wait just a minute!" The fans cheer as Foster interrupts. Boomer turns around incredulously. Matt Foster: "Boomer, you better not screw my title defense up... just like you screwed up your own damn stable!" The fans pop as Boomer becomes livid. Matt Foster: "That Highway is shut down, Boom... it's time to face the Powers That Be!" JVT: "What nerve... dumb rookie." The lights go out as "More Human Than The Human" by White Zombie plays and Stunnin Steve walks out to the entrance ramp with Grendel. Right behind them is the United States Heayweight Champion, Bowen Danes.) TS: "As an angry Boomer exits, here come the men that truely brought this federation to where it is today. The group you voted for Stable of the Year, The Powers That Be." JVT: "Hey, I didn't get a vote!" TS: "These guys have taken this place by storm! You have the former World Heavyweigh Champion, Grendel; the current United States Heavyweight Champion, Bowen Danes; the current World CruiserWeight Champion, Matt Foster; and the former World Tag Team Champions, the Lady Killers, the men who beat Grendel and Stunnin Steve for the unification of our tag titles in the NEW." JVT: "I have to admit, as it stands right now, you cannot find a much better combination of men in this sport, than The Powers..." Stunnin Steve: "Gatlinburg Tennessee, give us some noise here!!!" (the fans give The Powers That Be a huge pop as Matt Foster and The Lady Killers approach the ramp after thier match.) Stunnin Steve: "As I just saw, The group of "nuggets" that are going to be flushed at Carnage Bowl have somehow smozied along a title shot out of Matt Foster, the "Hardcore One" himself... and the winners of the match between The Nugget Side Order and the Lady Killers should be the top contenders to the tag straps, and I know that Mr. Danes here is ready to flush this Chump, Wylde, out tonight with a... ROYAL FLUSH, but tonight, the man who should be champ after Friday has something to say... Grendel my man..." (the fans go wild as Grendel takes the mic.) Grendel: "Ares, the scumbag... Ares, the man that has always envied the thought of being Grendel... the thought of being me has captivated him since day one. Ares, you say "Let's get ready to bob on it"? The only thing that is going to be bobbed on is the mat, when your mouth gets busted on it at The Carnage Bowl next weekend, as I take you by the throat, and chokeslam you through the mat... then, you will suffer the concussion of concussions as I lift you up and slam you to the mat with the Powerbomb... yes, whether a title is up for grabs, I want it signed... the fans want it, and you know you want it too... Grendel v. Ares will go down as the battle of the ages... you call yourself "The God Of Wrestling"? All you are to me is a fly on a sheet of flypapaer, trying to get away before being discarded. if you have the guts, let's get it on at the PPV... you and me..." The fans pop as the Powers make their exit. The next two wrestlers make their appearences. Sport Jones v. Bigg Joe-Joe ("Too Extreme For Television" Title: Jones and Joe-Joe start off with a test-of-strenght. Jones is winning and Joe-Joe with a kick to the gut. Joe-Joe with an armbar. Turns Jones around... CLOTHESLINE ON JONES!!! Joe-Joe pulls Jones up and DDT on Jones. Jones slowly gets up as Joe-Joe is mouthing off to the crowd and... JONES WITH A GERMAN SUPLEX!!! To the ropes... SPLASH!!! Cover...1...2...kick out. Jones pulls up Joe-Joe and... SLAM TO THE TURNBUCKLE!!! Jones is on fire and... JOE-JOE WITH A LOW BLOW!!!Joe-Joe sends Jones to the corner and Jones hits the ref. The ref is knockedout and here comes the Prez!!! Jones with ... THE ANGLER!!! Wolvie counts..1....2.....3 JONES WINS!! Jones is looking at Wolvie and Wolvie has the mic. Wolvie: "Jones, you better be on my good side for Friday cause I'm your ref against PDC. So if your not careful PDC might walk out with some gold." TS: "As these men make their exit, I got to ask, what in the hell does Wolvie think he's doing? He's a wrestler, he's a ref, he's the president..." JVT: "He's a renaissance man! A consumate professional..." TS: "Now, the one you have all been waiting for.... and here comes the VP!" Des enters the ring to huge applause. Des: "And now, I'd like to introduce our new correspondent for Monday Night Massacre to do the special introduction for this historic bout... the one, the only, Jesse Gaye!" The fans clap for the former ICW announcer and the most colorful color man in the biz. Tonight, he's wearing silver pants, a short "In Sync" t-shirt, and a nice eyeliner. JVT: "Would you look at this fruit basket?" TS: "It's the 90's, Johnny. Kids got to express themselves." JVT: "Real men don't wear makeup." Jesse Gaye: "Ladies and gentlemen, your challenger tonight... he is a former world champion... led to the ring by the World Champion, Dutch Daeon... he is a fan favorite world wide... and he has great taste in ring attire, if I do say so myself, and I would know, because I am your fashion guru, thank you very much... give it up for Jason Wylde!" Wylde makes his ring entrance to much fanfare. Jesse Gaye: "And his opponent... he is the current United States champion... he was a world champion in the ICW, and is a member... heh heh, I said member... of the most mighty group of men since the Village People, the Powers That Be... here is Bowen Danes!" Danes walks down the aisle carrying his belt, to huge applause. TS: "Jesse's exiting the ring..." JVT: "Thank god... I feel like getting an HIV test just from breathing the same air as that superfreak..." TS: "That was uncalled for..." JVT: "But funny as all hell..." TS: "And the VP is going to watch this match from ringside." MAIN EVENT: Bowen Danes v. Jason Wylde (United States Heavyweight Title: The bell has rung, and the former World champ is going right ot work on Danes... Wylde with several axehanles to the back as Daon is playing air guitar on the outside, and Wylde with a whip to the ropes... Wylde nails Danes hard with a clothesline, and Wylde with a choke while the man is down, the ref is calling for a break...1...2...3...4...5.... the ref is pulling off Wylde, and DAON WITH A GUITAR STRING ACROSS THE THROAT OF DANES!!! The ref is totally distracted by Wylde on the inside, and Daon is now applying pressure to Danes' nek and he releases as Wylde tells the ref to turn around. Wylde pulls up Danes and Wylde with a chinbreaker on Danes... Wylde is pulling him back up, but Danes with a fireman takedown. Danes with an armbar on Wylde and Daon is poking himself in the chest with his index finger on the outside... and he is blowing the tip and shoving it down his side? What is that all about? Danes is pulling up Wylde and he backs him up to the ropes, a whip off the ropes, and Danes off the other side, and he leaps in the air, and flying elbowblock on Wylde and Danes goes for the pin..1...2. kickout. Danes is going for the Sharpfour early on, but WYLDE WITH A ROLLUP...1...2.. kickout!!! Danes goes right back to the headlock and he is trying to weardown Wylde... Wylde is pulling back up and Wylde with a pair of elbows to the ribs of Danes... Wylde is running off the ropes, and Danes with a clothesline, BUT WYLDE DUCKS... WYLDE RETALIATES WITH A HARD FIST TO THE FACE!!! Wylde with a whip to the ropes, and he catches Danes with a Harlem side Kick!!! Wylde is setting up Danes,and IT'S THE FINAL HAND!!! WYLDE COULD HAVE HIM FINISHED OFF HERE!!! Wylde is going to the top and IT'S THE CASH IN, BUT DANES MOVES OUT OF THE WAY!!! Danes is up and he goes for the Sharp Four, and Daon is spastic on the outside... (bell rings) TS: "Bowen Danes retains the belt..." JVT: "Dutch is patting Wylde on the back, telling him 'Good job...' what a fruit. Those lovebirds are walking away from the ring." TS: "Des is on the outside, applauding the US Champion, as we all are..." JVT: "Wait a minute, someone's coming from the crowd..." TS: "Oh my god! It's Dante Edmonds! He's got a lead pipe, and he's clobbering the US Champ with it! Des is on the apron, yelling for the Grifter to stop!" JVT: "YES! Edmonds is really laying into Danes... here come the Powers to stick up for their man." TS: "Stunnin' Steve is holding back Des, asking him to let Grendel take care of matters... oh my, Grendel has Dante up for the chokeslam!" JVT: "And from behind, Dutch Daeon is hammering Grendel." TS: "Des is off the canvas calling for security... Dante is slipping out of here unnoticed as Dutch attacks Grendel... and here comes Sport Jones with a chair!" JVT: "And that chair has Steve's name all over it! Not in the literal sense, of course..." TS: "And here comes Wolvie! But wait... he's grabbing the chair from Sport! What the..." JVT: "Saving one of the Powers? Whose side are you on, Wolvie?" TS: "Des is trying to break up the carnage in the ring... what's happening in the back?" Dante Edmonds has Jesse Gaye by the throat. Dante rips the mic out of Jesse's hand and runs him off. Dante looks into the camera. Dante Edmonds: "Your world is falling apart, Mr. Vice President... Des, I don't care if I have to go through every single member of the Powers That Be... I'm coming for you, Des... I'm on my way..." The Grifter, with cold insanity in his eyes, drops the mic and dissapears into the shadows. TS: "Folks, we have the Powers on one side of the ring, Wylde, Dutch, and Sport on another, as security breaks things up..." JVT: "And there is Des, standing over the beaten body of Bowen Danes... that says it all right there, Dante Edmonds is the force that is going to destroy your pretty world... ha ha, you garbage people deserve every ounce of pain you get...." TS: "And on that, uh, cheerful note, we bid you goodbye, fans! 'Til next Monday, keep it EXTREME!" Commercial for CARNAGE BOWL II... an event you will never forget... no matter how hard you try... bwahahahahahahah!