(The camera fades into an arena in Union City Tennessee, where a NEW house show is taking place. Mike Ixnay joins us for color commentary for tonight's show.) Mike Ixnay: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Wednesday Night Warfare, and as you can see, Larry Nabisco is not with us tonight as he was arrested for marijuana possession on Monday Night... (Stunnin Steve, and Trent Raven walk up to the set and Warlock Hall walks up behind Mike Ixnay, slaps him in the back of the head, and does the "oh I'm scared" thing with his hands.) Stunnin Steve: Hey man, get the hell off our set... Mike Ixnay: What??? Trent Raven: Yeah man, no one wants to hear your lame ass, so get the hell out of here!!! Mike Ixnay: What??? Stunnin Steve: Warlock, you know what to do... (Warlock grabs behind Mike and gives him a wedgie pulling him off of the chair.) Trent Raven: Don't forget to wipe!!! (Steve and Trent put on the headsets and sit down as Warlock gives Mike a friendly kick in the butt.) Stunnin Steve: Man oh man Trent, what is on the card tonight? Trent Raven: Well, some 9 man battleroyal thingy for a shot at the World Title on Friday... Stunnin Steve: That sucks, so hey man, you got something to wrestle in tonight? Trent Raven: Yeah man, why? Stunnin Steve: Ya wanna go up against me for the Wrold Title? Trent Raven: Sure, you got the World Title? Stunnin Steve: No, but these fans still need a show, so up up for it? Trent Raven: Well, as Akasha would say... I can go ALL night long! Stunnin Steve: It is signed!!! Stunnin Steve v. Trent Raven tonight in the Main Event!!! Tent Raven: Yeah, you aren't gonna get some show featuring two guys that hate each other and it ending with two gangs coming out and ruining the show... Stunnin Steve: We arent??? Oh my!!! Trent Raven: Nope, becauswe everyone is gonna get a WRESTLING match between two COMPETITORS... Stunnin Steve: Cool concept. Who came up with it? Trent Raven: We did... Stunnin Steve: Oh yeah... Trent Raven, so stay tuned as we bring you the battle royal first... or you can stay in teh bathroom for a few minutes... Stunnin Steve: We need Warlock to do the announcements for tonight... I'm tired of Buttbuffer... Trent Raven: Already on it bro!!! (Warlock grabs the mic from Buttbuffer and kicks him out of the ring.) Warlock Hall: Hey... (Warlock hits on the mic.) Stunnin Steve: Will someone tell that idiot to turn the damn mic on? Warlock Hall: Hey yo!!! (The crowd gives Warlock a big hell pop.) Warlock Hall: Our first match on tinight's card, before the main event, is the ALL OUT EXTREME WAR!!! (The fans go wild.) Warlock Hall: The winner will get a shot at the World Title on Friday Night Fire!!! At this time, we are introducing the man who drew #1... (The fans are going wild.) Warlock Hall: Here is "South Side" Jack Malone!!! Stunnin Steve: Who??? This isn't ANOTHER Sauce wannabe is it? Trent Raven: Not according to Mike's notes... this is his inring debut. Stunnin Steve: Ya know... this our firsat night doing this, and we are already doing better than Mike and Larry? Trent Raven: Pretty sad eh Steve? Stunnin Steve: I know man... so you still Canadian? Trent Raven: Yeah right man... the FoWWW smoked my pole... Stunnin Steve: Wouldn't Akasha get pretty upset about that though man? Trent Raven: Shut up Steve... Warlock Hall: And the man who drew #2... ("Closer" by NIN plays as Wolverine approaches the ring.) Warlock Hall: He is the holder of the "Too Extreme For Television" Title... my drinking buddy... Wolverine!!! Stunnin Steve: Benge drinking idiot... Trent Raven: You know you like him though... Stunnin Steve: Yeah... he's funny!!! "I am Batman"!!! Trent Raven: (Chuckling) Heh, heh, heh... (bell rings) Stunnin Steve: Okay, I guess we could get to the action, or we could play cards like Fuego and company used to... OR we could just talk like they did Monday... what do you think man??? Trent Raven: Hmmm... I dunno man, it's your call... Stunnin Steve: OH WAIT!!! WOLVIE WITH A SLAP TO MALONE!!! Trent Raven: Wolvie lives off of pissing people off... Stunnin Steve: Malone slaps Wolvie back!!! Wolvie and Malone are duking it out right now, and I'm tempted to get that drunk idiot friend of ours to throw some weapons in there to kill the boredom... Trent Raven: I think that is taken care of... Stunnin Steve: Wolvie has some explosives!!! what the hell??? Trent Raven: Oh god... We aren't getting into this Japanese stuff now are we? Stunnin Steve: I hope not... Malone is pulling a wrench out of his tights and HE NAILS WOLVIE IN THE FOREHEAD WITH IT!!! Talk about tightening some nuts!!! Trent Raven: No, THAT'S tightening nuts... Stunnin Steve: Wolvie kicks Malone in the nuts and... did I mention that JJ Hart will be our guest referee tonight??? Trent Raven: What??? Stunnin Steve: Yeah man, the GREATEST FoWWW Champion of all time is our guest referee... Trent Raven: And he sucks more than anyone else in the history of the NEW... Stunnin Steve: Yeah... just like WCW/WWF/ECW relations eh? Trent Raven: Quit it with the "eh" stuff man... it reminds me of FoWWW... Stunnin Steve: And all them damn canucks... Malone is holding his package, Wolvie is pulling him up and MALONE NAILS HIM DOWN THERE TOO!!! Trent Raven: Down where??? Stunnin Steve: You know where... Malone with a armdrag takedown and a stomp to the head. Malone is going to the attack and now here comes The Saltine Slayer!!! Trent Raven: This guys sucks, where are they getting theses guys??? Stunnin Steve: Maybe from the FTW Dojo in Japan??? Oh well, Malone is pulling up Wolvie and Slayer is in the cage. Slayer grabs a chair and he jumps in the ring... Malone runs and charges Slayer with a clothesline and steals the chair!!! Trent Raven: Malone is rearing back like Babe Ruth and HOMERUN FOR MALONE!!! Stunnin Steve: Malone really hit home with that one and The Slayer is on the ground holdin his head. Malone is pounding away at him with the chair and Wolvie grabs a barbedwire bat from under the ring... WOLVIE SMACKS HIS MALONE BITCH UP WITH THE BAT!!! Trent Raven: He's getting pretty bad on that boy and he drops the bat. Wolvie grabs him and I think he is going to DDT him on the bat... but MALONE REVERSES IT AND IT IS A BELLY SUP0LEX ON THE BAT!!! Stunnin Steve: Wolvie has that pokie stuff sticking in his back now, and Malonw with a dropping dropkick on Wolvie!!! Trent Raven: Uh, were are Mike's notes again? Someone else is coming out... Stunnin Steve: That's Silent judgement, he is also making his debut tonight!!! Trent Raven: Malone is faring pretty well right now, and now Slayer is getting up and Malone throws him out of the ring and at Judgement... Judgement grabs Slayer and locks him out of the cage!!! Slayer is gone!!! Stunnin Steve: Good... he sucked anyway... Trent Raven: Not as much as JJ though... Stunnin Steve: Ain't that the truth? Judgement is in now and Malone is signaling him to pull up Wolvie... Judgement pulls up Wolvie and Malone with a clothesline, but Wolvie ducks out of the way... MALONE DECKS JUDGEMENT AND MALONE IS STUNNED!!! Trent Raven: Wolvie with a DVD on Malone!!! Judgement is getting up now and DVD ON JUDGEMENT!!! Stunnin Steve: Wolvie is on fire here, and here comes Jason Wylde!!! Wylde has a guitar on him and now Wylde is in. Wylde is trash talking to Wolvie now and Malone gets up. Malone smacks him from behind and Wylde gets in the ring. Trent Raven: Wylde is in the ring now and he rears back and HE NAILS MALONE WITH THE GUITAR!!! Wylde is playing air guitar over his fallen body and Judgement comes over and nails Wylde... so IS FoXXXy giving you enough at night? Stunnin Steve: She's pretty damn good in the bed, but Sauce and Terrel set me up with some GOOD s---last night. That s---was tight! Trent Raven: What? for some stuff that has been on the floor more times than the carpet your dad instals for a living? Stunnin Steve: So??? Can YOU pass up some good shit??? Trent Raven: No, well... I couldn't when I was single... Stunnin Steve: Judgement is pulling up Wylde now and he throws him out of the ring and into some tables. And what is this??? (PDC walks up to the announcers booth, and talks to Steve.) PDC: Steve, if you go back to the Powers, where you belong, I'll give you some free pussy for tonight! See these three ho's? they'll give you whatever you want tonight for nothing! Stunnin Steve: I tell you what, if you go in the ring and win this thing, I'll go back to the Powers with you, and I'll take the ho's off your back tonight. PDC: Fair enough... Stunnin Steve: Now redheaded bitch, get down here and fish out a quarter. redhead: Where at??? Stunnin Steve: I think I dropped it in my pants... you may have to "fish" it out... redhead: OKAY!!! (The redhead unzips Steve's fly and goes to work.) blond #1: What can I do??? Well, you and the other girl can warm up in the back... blond #2: OKAY!!! (The girls go to the back.) Stunnin Steve: PDC is going to the ring now and he sees Judgement on the outside taking on Wylde... PDC grabs Judgement and HE SHOVES HIM OUT OF THE CAGE!!! JUDGEMENT IS OUT!!! Trent Raven: And PDC lays the smackdown on Wylde... Stunnin Steve: Wolvie is in the ring and he is back up and he hits Malone with the chair... Wolvie tosses him out of the ring and into PDC. PDC grabs Malone and he whips him into the cage!!! Malone hit pretty hard and PDC grabs him and he opens the door... he sends Malone out of the cage and Malone is out. Trent Raven: PDC is on fire here and Wolvie with a stagedive out of the ring. He nails PDC with a clothesline and Wylde runs over to Wolvie and pulls him off of PDC. Stunnin Steve: Here comes Venom and it looks like this one could go on for a while... Trent Raven: Why do you say that? Stunnin Steve: Did you see that match from Monday? Trent Raven: Yeah, I went to the bathroom several times during it... it was pretty cool... Stunnin Steve: Yeah... anyway... Wolvie and Wylde are fighting on the outside still and Venom is going through the door. He grabs Wolvie and HE SHOVES WOLVIE OUT OF THE RING!!! Trent Raven: And Wylde shoves the door shut on Venom!!! Stunnin Steve: WAHT??? Trent Raven: YEAH!!! Stunnin Steve: NO!!! Trent Raven: (chucking) Heh, heh, heh... Stunnin Steve: They're going to both be pissed off tomorrow!!! Trent Raven: Better than being pissed on... Stunnin Steve: Oh well...PDC from behind with a table to Wylde's back... PDC is really wanting it bad eh??? OOOHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! good going hon... redhead: Huh??? Stunnin Steve: Keep going... redhead: (with mouth full) Okay... (The redhead goes back to work) Stunnin Steve: What a night!!! What a match so far!!! No one has submitted yet... Trent Raven: Yeah, but they've been locked out... Stunnin Steve: So, I'm trying to make it sound better for the ones that are out... Trent Raven: Here comes Bigg Joe Joe, and who is coming out from under the ring??? Stunnin Steve: This sheet says it is Ryu Kenzaki from Japan... he is grabbing the chair and he nails PDC with it... he nails Wylde with it and Joe Joe is in the cage. Kenzaki nails him with it and he is making his presence well known here tonight... Trent Raven: Bigg Joe Joe has the ring mic skill of a doorknob, but he looks to be in pretty good shape. He is back up after that blow, and Kenzaki is posing at the corwd. Joe Joe runs up behind Kenzaki and nails him with a swift clotesline... Joe Joe runs him around the ring and to the door... Stunnin Steve: Man, he hit that cage pretty hard didn't he? Trent Raven: He sure did, but now it looks as if Kenzaki will not be able to continue his reign of terror as Joe Joe send him out the door. Wylde is back up and he has the chair... Wylde with a running chairshot, but joe Joe moves out of the way... JOE JOE SLAMS THE DOOR ON WYLDE'S FACE!!! Joe Joe sends Wylde out of the cage, but Wylde is blocking the door, Wylde is back through the doorway and he is belly to belly reversing Joe Joe out the door. Trent Raven: Here comes Bowen Danes!!! Stunnin Steve: The man that THINKS he is the last ICW world Champion... Trent Raven: Well, either way, he is at the doorway, and he grabs both Wylde and Joe Joe by the hair... He bangs thier heads together, and he is dragging them out of the doorway. PDC is back up and runs to the door... HE SHUTS IT!!! HE IS THE LAST MAN LEFT IN THE CAGE!!! Stunnin Steve: WHAT??? Trent Raven: (Chuckling) Heh, heh, heh... I guess you go back Powers eh? Stunnin Steve: No, but I'm keeping the ho's... Trent Raven: Well, here he comes, so I think you should tell him... (PDC makes his way back to the broadcast booth) PDC: So Steve, welcome back!!! Stunnin Steve: f--- you man, I'm stayin Highway!!! PDC: A promise is a promise!!! Stunnin Steve: I tell you what you can do, this bitch is giving me some good stuff... (Steve zips his fly back up as the redhead takes her mouth off.) Stunnin Steve: But I have a MAIN EVENT to wrestle, you can do commentary if you wish... I'm out! PDC: What is up with that Trent? They make a deal and don't fall though... Trent Raven: When we come back, it's me v. STUNNIN STEVE!!! (Cut to PDC's "service" announcment and advertisement for the "best entertainment on god's green earth".) PDC: Well fans, we are back and it looks like this surprise Main Event is turning heads as we speak... no one expected this, but we are going to the ring at this time to Warlock Hall... Warlock Hall: Heyyyyyy yo... (The fans give Hall a big pop.) Warlcok Hall: It's time for the main event!!! (The fans go wild as "ADIDAS" by KORn plays on the PA.) Warlock Hall: Coming to the ring at this time, he is one of the founding faters of the NEW, the founder of Trent's Rave, and the ORIGONAL second member of The Ronin. He is also the former FoWWW Canadian champ, the former IRWF World Champion, the former Stable Champ with me and the boys of The Rave, and the two time former NEW United States Champion... TRENT RAVEN!!! (The fans give Trent Raven a HUGE pop.) PDC: It's good to see this... a big main event with the two biggest names in this sport today!!! Stunnin Steve and Trent Raven. Let's get this one on the road!!! (Warlock is pointing at Trent "Outsider" style as Trent gives him a double highfive.) Warlcok Hall: And his opponment... ("Hollyann" by Boston plays on the PA as Stunnin Steve approaches the ring.) Warlcok Hall: He is another founding fater of the NEW with Trent Raven. Together, they took over the origonal ICW and created the NEW. He is the man that has continued to nnovate this sport with such great stables as The Foundation and The Powers That Be, and is now a member of the NEW Highway 666. He is a former NEW Extreme Tag Team Champion co-holder, a former Stable Title holder with The Ronin, and the former... and some say last... holder of the ICW World Championship... STUNNIN STEVE!!! (Warlcok leaves the ring adn heads to the announcers booth as the bell rings) PDC: Well the match is underway and we have JJ Hart as the referee in this one... Steve and Trent are locking up and Trent with a bodyslam... it seemingly does nothing to Steve and Steve with a chop... trent seems to be unaffected by this and now I am being joined by Warlock!!! How's it hanging? Warlock Hall: Why are you asking about my dick? PDC: Nevermind... Warlock Hall: You a pimp? You got some hook-up? PDC: I did, but Steve like... has it where they are really looking forward to a night out with him. Warlock Hall: You wanna see me hold my breath with some pencils up my nose? PDC: No thanks, but I don't understand it... Stunnin Steve with a german suplex... and Trent Raven is not even seemiing to be dazed or anything... he follows up with a clothesline and Steve runs right through it!!! These guys are seeming like they are doing nothing at all to each other... (PDC puts his hand over the mic) PDC: These guys are doing a poor sell job tonight aren't they? Warlock Hall: I think JJ Hart jobs more than they do... PDC: Idiot... (un-muffled) Steve runs right through Trent with a clothe4sline and he fails to knock down Trent, but HE NAILS JJ HART!!! Warlock Hall: Well he deserved it!!! PDC: Steve with a bodyslam on Trent and he is catches him with a Stunner as he gets back up... Trent fails to fall to it too!!! This is awful sellsmanship on thier part... I'm sorry!!! Warlock Hall: Nah, it's just because they are so tough!!! PDC: Tough my ass!!! Trent isn't even wobbly from that Stunner!!! Trent with a leaping DDT on Steve and Steve is right back up!!! Warlock Hall: JJ is reaching for a chair on teh outside!!! What is he doing??? PDC: JJ has it in the ring and he runs to Steve, but hits Trent!!! Warlock Hall: What an idiot!!! PDC: Trent whips JJ into steve and he catches him with a Stunner!!! JJ is on the ground!!! Now THAT's sell job!!! Warlock Hall: You should have left out the "sell" on that... PDC: Steve is pulling him back up and send him to Trent... he is doing your pose as Trent hoists him into the air... IT'S THE DIVEBOMB!!! Warlcok Hall: These are the two best wrestlers in the sport today!!! PDC: I'll say... (muffled) when they sell (un-muffled) Steve is asking for a double highfive, but Trent pinches both of his nipples!!! STEVE FALLS TO THE GROUND HOLDING BOTH OF HIS BOOBS!!! Warlock Hall: Happy now??? PDC: Yeah, but now Trent is grabbing Steve's pinky!!! STEVE IS TAPPING OUT!!! WHAT THE HELL??? Warlock Hall: JJ sees it!!! (bell rings) PDC: What the hell is going on here??? Warlock Hall: I dunno, but I have to learn that one... PDC: what are you talking about??? That sucked!!! Steve is holding his pinky and Trent is acting like he won the World Title!!! Warlock Hall: What a match!!! Trent is pulling up Steve, and they are hugging!!! I gotta go celebrate with them... they'll need the booze hook-up sionce they have the girls... wanna come with??? PDC: Well, I guess I'm signing off. Tune in for Fire!!! (PDC and Warlock run to the ring as the camera cuts to copyright.)