Mike Ixnay: Fans, we are sold out at Barton's Colluseum!!!

(pyroes go off all over the arena)

Mike Ixnay: This is NEW Monday Ngiht Massacre!!! I am Mike Ixnay and this is Larry Nabisco joining me... our show has been postponed for two weeks, but a lot has happened, and this weekend is Lord of the Rings 4!!! A Hall of Fame induction is scheduled and we have a 16 man tourney to decide the new LOTR champion of the quarter... fans, Gene has disappeared off the face of the earth, but we have a scoop from the inside that House of Pain and Sauce have abducted him!

Larry Nabisco: What? That can't be!

Mike Ixnay: It makes no sense, but hopefully we will have more on this later, and Wicked Clown has disappeared too!

Larry Nabisco: Weird...

Mike Ixnay: Fans, kicking off the night is a match for the Hardcore Title as we go to the ring for Massacre!!!

(bell rings)

Trey Reed v. The Oozing Sore (Hardcore Title)

Mike Ixnay: This should be a great match Larry. World Champion/Hardcore Champion Trey Reed Vs. Mr. Reaves Pet...... Umm Mr. Reaves pet for the hardcore title.

Larry Nabisco: They are both in the ring as the bell sounds. Trey goes at Sore first, extremely Hard.

Mike Ixnay: He better save some for Ares later tonight. Trey with ax kick knocking the repulsive sore on his ass.

Larry Nabisco: Trey goes up top for a flying headbutt....HE CONNECTS. He goes for a quick pin

Mike Ixnay: 1......2...... KICK OUT. Damn near an early ending here. Trey Pulls sore up by the scabs on his head. Oh no! They all just poopped open, Reed has puss and blood all over him.

Larry Nabisco: That is one sick sight Mike.

Mike Ixnay: Not as sick as the time I cought you and scheme Genes son in Law in the lockar room together....

Larry Nabisco: Shut the Fuck up Mike. We dont need to hear about that. anyway... Sore goes for a low blow and connects. Sore picks up Trey and throws him into the turnbuckle, he goes for a midsecxtion bronco buster to work on the ribs of Trey Reed.

Mike Ixnay: He is in some real pain folks..... put he pushes on hard.... crotch chop to sore. Kick to the head of Sore..... Trey jumps off the top tunbuckle and does a moonsault onto Sore. He has his mojo going now.

Larry Nabisco: Well heres somthing that may spoil his day. Mr. Reaves is comming to the ring. He has a shovel in his hand. He goes up to the ref and cold cocks him. the to Trey.. Trey is out.

Mike Ixnay: Reaves and Sore pick up Trey, DOUBLE DDT onto the shovel head. Sore with a pin

Larry Nabisco: There's no ref....wait Reaves is making the unt 1.....2.....3.... WE have a new Hardcore champ here.

Mike Ixnay: Can he do that?

Larry Nabisco: He's owner, he can do whatever he wants.

Mike Ixnay: So he could do.......lets just say Scheme Gene's son-in-law if he wanted too?

Larry Nabisco: Shut up Mike...

Mike Ixnay: What did you say???

Larry Nabisco: I said... SHUT THE FUCK UP MIKE!!!

Mike Ixnay: Oh... Mr. Reaves has a mic... let's hear him out...

Mr. Reaves: (laughing) Trey Reed, we just showed you tonight why you shouldn't have gotten in our way... that's right Jade, you just help your little friend to the back, because the bitch is back!!!

(The fans begin to boo)

Mike Ixnay: WAIT!!! Isn't that another guy's saying???

(Mr. Reaves drapes the Hardcore Title over his shoulder as if he holds the title, and Oozing Sore is applauding)

Mr. Reaves: Now, onto more important business... I announced that I had soemthing important to say tonight at the end of the Independance Day show, well, Stunnin Steve... I would like for you to come out at this time, as it has to do with you...

(Stunnin Steve comes out to the ring area to no music. The fans are showing thier support to Steve patting his back as he walks the isle.)

Mike Ixnay: I don't like the sound of this...

Larry Nabisco: Neither do I... hold me!!!

Mike Ixnay: Please...

Mr. Reaves: Now Steve, you have been a big part of this company for the year and a half that it has been open thus far... you went from nothing to superstardom off of an idea in my head and you even won the World Title... Steve, bad mistake. You booked yourself and your friend, Trent Raven, to the NEW World Title while I was away. Steve, I am offended that you would blantantly disregard my feelings over this issue. Steve, when you and Trent helped open the doors, you both agreed that neither of you would win the World Title on any given date. Steve, now that I am back in charge of the company, you will be properly dealt with on this issue... effective immediately, you are fired...

(The fans boo)

Mike Ixnay: Oh no...

Larry Nabisco: Steve...

Mr. Reaves: Pack up your bags, because you are out of the NEW...

Mike Ixnay: This can't be happening.

Mr. Reaves: On this day, The Powers That Be are no more... I am the man in charge of the NEW, and you and your flunkies were responsible for the death of Cowboy only a year ago in a gang related attack on him... actually, I think it WAS on this day... how ironic that you be served your punishment exactly one year later... Steve, as long as I live, you will never work here again...

(The fans begin the chant "ASSHOLE!!! ASSHOLE!!!")

Stunnin Steve: Reaves, you can go to hell...

(The fans pop and Reaves looks shocked)

Stunnin Steve: And YOU (pointing at Sore, who is now looking at Steve)... you have no guts...

(Stunnin Steve leaves the ring to a chorus of boos. The fans continue to show thier support as they pat hands with Steve on his way out.)

Mr. Reaves: You will never step foot in another wrestling ring again!!!

Mike Ixnay: Fans, we need a break... stay tuned.

(Commercial for Tampex plays as you see The OOZING Sore trying desperately to clear up the Sores with rubbing pads to spread his medicine)

(Camera fades back in to Sniper's brand new theme music "Break Stuff" by Limp Bizket playing over the PA as he walks down to the ring wearing his new Sniper wrestling attire.)

Mike Ixnay: Fans, welcome back to Massacre, and Big Daddy Viper... er Sniper is in the house!!!

Larry Nabisco: What???

Mike Ixnay: Lots of changes these past few weeks... The Powers basically split up and Reaves just nailed the coffin shut. Sniper is now on his own with a new name and a new mission so to speak...

(He has a very arrogent look on his face as he climbs into the ring and pulls out a mic and begins to speak.)

Big Daddy Sniper: NEW, MAKE SOME NOISE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(fans go crazy)

Big Daddy Sniper: WHO HERE THINKS VENOM SUCKS?

(nearly all the fans stand up and begin to chant "Venom Sucks, Venom Sucks"....)

Big Daddy Sniper: I PROMISED YOU ALL A SURPRISE GUEST REFEREE, YOU READY TO FIND OUT WHO IT IS?

(Fans all scream "Hell ya")

Big Daddy Sniper: ALRIGHTY THEN! LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THIS MAN HAS NEVER GRACED THE RINGS OF NEW, BUT HE HAS OF THE WWF. HE IS THE TRUE SNAKE MAN,SO TAKE THAT TRADE MARK OFF YOUR STUPID NAME VENOM LADIES AND GENTLEMEN THE SPECIAL GUEST REFEREE IS.......

(Complete silence.)

Big Daddy Sniper: JAKE "THE SNAKE" ROBERTS!!!!!!!!!!

(fans literally faint as Jake the Snake Roberts makes his way to the ring wearing and black and white stripped shirt and a baseball bat. Sniper hands him the mic)

Mike Ixnay: What the hell???

Larry Nabisco: I can't believe that Snipe got him off the bottle long enough to do this one...

Mike Ixnay: That was wrong... Jake the Snake Roberts is on his way to the ring and this is unbelieveable... Jake Roberts, the special guest referee???

Jake Roberts: Venom, you disgust me boy! You come out claiming to be a snake charmer, you mother f*cking disgrace all snake kind!

(fans go crazy even more)

Jake Roberts: Don't worry I'll call the match fair, because Sniper really doesn't need any help to kick your ass, but when the match is over, and I'm hoisting the hand of Sniper up in the air, he is gonna give me a few shots with that flaming bat at you and you will see that you are nothing more then a mere gardener snake compared to the one true python!

(Roberts hands the mic back over Sniper)

Big Daddy Sniper: I know you are very privleged to be facing me Venom, in such a high octain match, but to me, its jobbers like you that are the gas thats makes the Mac Truck known as Sniper run, you will be nothing more. and when I put you out of action in your second match back from injury you will be sorry you ever accepted my challenge. You will be just another prison bitch. On behalf of Jake "The Real Snake" Roberts, Sniper has Spoken, now hit my damn music.

("Break Stuff" by Limp Bizket begins to play again as Sniper and Jake Roberts exit into the locker room arena.)

Mike Ixnay: Fans, I don't know what that was all about, but I am sure that will be one to go down in the record books... let's go to the ring as Mikey and Slade are ready to do battle...

(bell rings)

Mikey v. Lance Slade (Raven's Rules)

Mike Ixnay: The bell has rung, and Slade goes right for a clothesline, but Mikey ducks... MIKEY WITH THE HANDFULL OF BARBED WIRE ACROSS SLADE'S FACE!!!

Larry Nabisco: Ares and Mikey told me today that they were on a mission... and I think they started it tonight on Slade...

Mike Ixnay: Mikey picks up the chair and sets it up... Mikey pulls up Slade and whips him to the ropes... Mikey with a droptoehold and SLADE FALLS FACEFIRST ON THE CHAIR!!! SLADE IS ON THE GROUND GRIMMACING IN PAIN!!!

Larry Nabisco: Mikey is one tough customer... he'll knock out all your teeth if you cut him any slack...

Mike Ixnay: Mikey unwraps the wire from his fists and HE'S CHOKING OUT SLADE!!! THE REF IS LETTING THIS ONE GO SINCE IT IS UNDER RAVEN'S RULES...

Larry Nabisco: Or Mikey's rules...

Mike Ixnay: Now Mikey... MIKEY IS BITING SLADE'S FACE!!! HE'S GONE CANNIBALISTIC!!!

Larry Nabisco: This is truely sick, and Ares is sliding in a table and Mikey releases the hold... what are they up to now???

Mike Ixnay: I dunno, but Mikey is now setting up the table and Ares is holding a can of gasoline!!!

Larry Nabisco: Oh no... they taught this man too well...

Mike Ixnay: MIKEY IS TAKING THE GASOLINE AND HE IS POURING IT ALL OVER THE TABLE!!! MIKEY GRABS A LIGHTER FROM HIS TRUNKS AND HE SETS THE TABLE ON FIRE!!!

Larry Nabisco: We've seen this before!!! Fuego did this to win the Extreme Title from Buck Master!!!

Mike Ixnay: Mikey pulls up Slade and IT'S THE FIREBURN SUPLEX INTO THE BURNING TABLE!!! LISTEN TO THESE FANS!!!

(The fans are chanting "MIKEY!!! MIKEY!!!")

Mike Ixnay: Mikey goes for a pin...1...2...3....

(bell rings)

Mike Ixnay: Mikey has won this one and here comes Big Danny Cool and Wolvie!!!

Larry Nabisco: What are those goons doing out here?

Mike Ixnay: I dunno, but they both have a pair of steel toe boots on and Ares and Mikey are leaving the ring...

Larry Nabisco: Slade is trying to get back to his feet and BDC and Wolvie are in...

Mike Ixnay: WHAT THE HELL??? THEY ARE PLAYING SOCCER WITH SLADE'S GROINAL AREA!!!

Larry Nabisco: BDC AND WOLVIE ARE KICKING SLADE IN THE NUTS!!!

Mike Ixnay: I JUST SAID THAT... FANS, WE'LL BE BACK AFTER BDC AND WOLVIE ARE DONE PLAYING SOCCER.

(Commercial for BDC's special track running shoes plays as you watch him kick field goals so to speak.)

Mike Ixnay: Fans, welcome back to Massacre, and wasn't that fun wathing slade burn???

Larry Nabisco: Oh hell yeah!!! I never thought that the IWA's logo would hold true... Slade is a jobber and he was Mikey's main coarse!!!

Mike Ixnay: Fans, let's go to the ring for our next bout on Massacre!!!

(bell rings)

Venom v. Sniper (Flaming Bat Match)

Mike Ixnay: The match is on it's way as Sniper opens with an... armbar???

Larry Nabisco: WOW!!!

Mike Ixnay: SHUT UP!!! Venom sends Sniper to the ropes and... CLOTHESLINE!!! Venom goes and he starts to stack up the cans... SNIPER SENDS VENOM FACE FIRST INTO A GAS CAN!!!

Larry Nabisco: GOSH!!!

Mike Ixnay: BE QUIET!!! Sniper throws Venom to the corner and... VENOM THROWS SNIPER OVER THE TOP!!!

Larry Nabisco: HE HIT HARD!!!

Mike Ixnay: Venom stacks up the cans and... he has the bat!!! Venom jumps off and he grabs a gas can from the outside and... HE SETS THE BAT ON FIRE AND HERE COMES WOLVIE!!!

Larry Nabisco: WOLVIE!!!

Mike Ixnay: Wolvie has a fire extinguisher and... HE USES IT TO PUT OUT THE BAT!!!

Wolvie: ONLY YOU CAN PREVENT AREANA FIRES!!!

Mike Ixnay: Sniper grabs the bat... SNIPER SWINGS FOR VENOM BUT HE HITS REF WITH THE BAT!!! Sniper with a powerbomb!!! Jake Roberts counts..1....2....3!!!

Larry Nabisco: Sniper wins!!!

Mike Ixnay: Fans, this was wierd, but right now, I'm being told that we have to go to the back as something is going on with RipTide and Psycho...

(Camera goes to the back and you see Riptide and Psycho battling it out)

RipTide v. Psycho (Anything goes)

Mike Ixnay: Fans, this match has already started at the runway... Psycho jumps Rip from behind with a kendo stick!!! Psycho is choking out Rip from behind with the stick and he is pulling him back to the exit...

Larry Nabsico: What is in that man's mind?

Mike Ixnay: PSYCHO JERKS RIP OVER TO A GARBAGE TRUCK!!!

Larry Nabsico: WHERE THE HELL DID HE GET THAT???

Mike Ixnay: I dunno, but Psycho is trying to put Rip in the trash bin of the truck, but Rip reverses!!! Rip with a hiptoss and Psycho is in the dump truck!!! Rip jumps in and the truck is taking off!!!

Larry Nabsico: Who is driving it???

(The camera pans to the front of the truck and you see that it is The DOA at the wheel.)

Mr. Hump: Get ready to jump!!!

(Mr. Humpidy Hump sets the settings to autodrive, and The DOA abandons ship as the truck collides with a concrete wall.)

Mike Ixnay: What the hell??? The truck ran into the wall, and Rip is falling out of the truck... Psycho falls out as well...

Larry Nabsico: I think they both took a good jerk to the back...

Mike Ixnay: Psycho catches Rip with a piledriver on the concrete floor!!! Security is trying to get the match back to the arena, but Psycho with a forearm to Loner, the CEO of security!!! Psycho takes out Drug Dillenger with a swift punch to the eye!!! Riptide slowly back to his feet, and he grabs a iron rod... Psycho is trying to send Rip to the wall, but RIP HITS PSYCHO IN THE BELLY WITH THE ROD!!!

Larry Nabsico: That's gotta hurt!

Mike Ixnay: RIP SMACKS PSYCHO IN THE FACE WITH THE ROD AND NOW HE LIFTS UP PSYCHO... IT'S A STUNGUNN INTO THE WALL!!!

Larry Nabsico: I haven't seen this much action from Psycho in a long time!!!

Mike Ixnay: Psycho is dazed, and Rip lifts him up for a bodyslam!!! Rip picks up Psycho and he runs him into the wall!!!

Larry Nabsico: Rip is still holding him and he is taking him back toward the ring...

Mike Ixnay: I think he might have knocked Psycho completely out... Rip rolls Psycho in the ring and Rip rolls in... Psycho is trying to get to his feet... Riptide hits Psycho with the Tidal Burst, Rip pins...1...2...3....

(The bell rings and the DOA, and Sniper come out and they all start beating on Riptide.)

Mike Ixnay: Riptide wins, but he looks as if he's lost the battle!!! The DOA is holding back Rip and SNIPER WITH A SWEET CHIN MUSIC TO THE SIDE OF RIP'S FACE!!! Now the genetic marvel has Rip set up... IT'S TIME FOR THE SNIPERBOMB!!!

(The fans go wild as Venom and The nWo run in and attack Psycho and The DOA.)

Mike Ixnay: Fans, Sniper releases the hold, and the other 6 guys are going to the outside... Rip is back up abnd he whips around Sniper... IT'S THE TIDAL BURST!!! Riptide is running toward the entrance ramp... Rip has a mic...

Riptide: Sniper, you know for damn sure this is not over. And that's just the way the tide turns and you can't... (the fans chant with him) do a damn thing.... BOUT IT!!!

Mike Ixnay: This one is far from over... fans, we'll be back with more after this...

(Promo for Lord of the Rings 4 plays)

(Camera fades back in to the backstage area)

Mike Ixnay: Fans, we are back and TOMBSTONE JUST ATTACKED RIPTIDE!!! TOMBSTONE AND SNIPER ARE ATTACKING RIPTIDE AND HEATHER IS CONDUCTING TRAFFIC!!! WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE???

Larry Nabisco: I dunno, but this doesn't look good for Rip...

Mike Ixnay: Fans, let's go to the ring for our next match for the Cruiserweight Title!!!

(The camera fades to the arena, Jade and JJ are inside the giant cage, with the ladder leading to the Cruiserweight Title above them.)

(bell rings)

Jade Diamond v. Hardcore Jeffery James (Tower Inferno Match - Cruiserweight Title)

Mike Ixnay: Jade and Hart go at each other, Hip-Toss by JJ, Jade back on his feet, Drop-Kick to the knee of JJ, sending him to the mat. Jade picks-up JJ by the hair, tosses him into the wall of the cage sending him bouncing back where Jade gives him a Back-Suplex. Jade now with a Spring-Board off the ropes, but JJ catches him and slams him down with a mini Brain-Buster! JJ now sprints for the cage door, but Jade dives and trips him up, then gets up and HE sprints for the door, but then JJ dives and HE trips Jade up! The two jump to their feet and begin to brawl, but then JJ catches a fist from Jade, give him a forearm to the face, then picks him up and SLAMS him with a Juvi-Driver! JJ now jumps up and waves to the crowd, recieving boos, but JJ just bows and applauds himself. Jade now from behind Spin-Kicks JJ in the back of the head, sending him down! Jade now pulls-up JJ by the hair, sends him into the ropes, and gives him a powerful Tilt-a-Whirl Back-Breaker! Jade now on the top-rope, Corkscrew Moonsault on JJ! The crowd's going nuts Jade now scurries tot he door of the cage, and JJ wont stop him this time! Jade now on the outside...

JJ Hart: Help me!

Mike Ixnay: Oh well... Jade now scaling the side of the cage, but JJ all of a sudden gets up and runs out the door, and pulls Jade off the cage, slamming him into the guardrail! Jade and JJ now brawling again, Jade ducks a punch, then gives JJ a huge over-head Belly-to-Belly Suplex! Jade now keeping on the offensive, he runs over and drops down on JJ with an Elbow-Drop. JJ now rolling around on the ground, Jade once again begins to scale the cage, but amazingly JJ gets right up and begins to scale it as well! JJ and Jade now having a fist-fight while both hold on to the wall of the cage, Jade leaves himself too open, and JJ takes advantage by kicking Jade square in the balls! Jade falls off the cage, luckily he wasn't too far up! JJ quickly climbs the cage, then at the top begins jumping up and down, arms raises, cheering for himself to a round of boos from the crowd. Jade not wasting any time, gets up and climbs the cage wall, only to see JJ Hart nearing the top of the ladder! As Jade approaches, JJ jumps off the ladder and meets him, the two both duck attempts at a lock-up, but then Jade catches JJ and DDTs him right on the top of the cage! Jade now climbing the ladder, JJ gets-up AGAIN and stops Jade by pulling him off and giving him a Spine-Buster! That cage looks fit to cave-in at any second, one more power-move like that and we could see two blood-stains on the mat! JJ now playing the crowd again, he arrogantly climbs the ladder, rung by rung, smiling every step, he's on the final rung! One arm-length stretch more and we'll have a new Cruiserweight Champ! But no! Jade's up and, Drop-Kick! My God, Jade just drop-kicked the ladder with JJ at the top! NO! JJ fell off the cage! I repeat, JJ HART FELL OFF THE CAGE!!!

Larry Nabisco: Dear Lord, JJ fell through the Spanish Announce Booth!

Mike Ixnay: Good Lord, he's dead! No wait, I see movement! Jade looks-on from the top of the cage, he looks dissapointed in himself. Jade angrilly picks-up the ladder, and he climbs to the top and grabs his Cruiserweight Title!

Larry Nabisco: The match is over, but we have a bigger story here, as JJ is barely moving in the wreckage of the Spanish Announce Booth, that he just fell through from 20 feet up!

Mike Ixnay: Jade Diamond now coming off the cage, he goes over by JJ where Medical Personelle are tending to him. Jade crouches down by JJ's head, asking if he's ok, and appologizing to him. Well, here come's the stretcher, the Meds are strapping JJ on it now, and taking him back to a waiting ambulance. The fans applaud JJ as they take him out, and Jade follows close behind. Fans, we'll be back with our main event after this...

(Commercial for KY Jelly plays as you see Wicked Clown stroking the barrel of a gun.)

Mike Ixnay: Fans, welcome back to Massacre, and as you saw, JJ took a nasty spill off the cage. Hopefully we will have an update on him this weekend, but for now, let's go to our final bout on Massacre!!!

(bell rings)

Main Event: Trey Reed v. Ares (World Title)

Mike Ixnay: The bell rings and Trey and Ares are staring each other down... Trey has a furious look on his face, and I haven't seen this look on Ares' face before... it's almost as if he's nervous...

Mike Ixnay: Anyway, Ares goes for a punch, but Trey blocks... Trey is pushing Ares to the ropes with punches and a whip off the ropes by Trey... Trey with a clothesline and Ares ducks... Ares rebounds with a Harlem Side Kick, but Trey catches him... TREY WITH AN INVERTED TBONE SUPLEX!!!

Mike Ixnay: Ares is back up and TREY WITH A NECKBRACE!!!

Larry Nabisco: WHAT THE HELL???

(bell rings and the fans boo)

Mike Ixnay: What the hell is going on here???

Larry Nabisco: Wolvie is on his way out and Trey Reed is leaving the ring...

Mike Ixnay: I smell a setup here...

Larry Nabisco: Oh god... Wolvie and Ares embrace... that wasn't Ares that did the J.O.B.

Mike Ixnay: Where IS Ares anyhow???

(The camera goes to the back, and you see a door being caved in... Ares and Mikey bust the door down with a locker. THey toss the locker to the side and run toward the ring.)

Mike Ixnay: Wait a second... ARES AND MIKEY ARE ON THIER WAY TO THE RING!!!

Larry Nabisco: ARES AND MIKEY ARE TAKING OUT THE FAKE ARES AND WOLVIE!!!

Mike Ixnay: THIS IS EXCITING!!! AND BDC, LONER AND THE REST OF SECURITY ARE COMING OUT!!! FANS, WE ARE OUT OF TIME, TUNE IN THIS WEEEKEND FOR LORD OF THE RINGS 4!!!

(Camera cuts to copyright)