> *The camera opens up to a Rated "R" sign in the top corner and it shows a picture of Sniper when he first entered NEW as Viper, and a bell is heard three times in the background. The scene goes down the line of what's happened so far. First it shows hi-spots of the matches last night, including the return of Ru, and then it shows sadly what may be the end of Jade Diamond's career. Next it shows the sad tragedy, the passing of Sniper, the funeral, the message Sniper left, and the announcement of the Memorial match. The scene fades to what has happened so far between Trey and Sport Jones. From the beginning in EOCW, where they faced off and Trey defeated him for the Asskicker title. Then it shows later on Trey joining Death Valley, only when Sport Jones became President, he was too filled with power, and everything went corrupt. It shows what has happened in NEW now, as from the beginning, Death Valley was against Trey Reed, and Jones felt like he needed a break from the team and quit. Then he and Trey dominated for a long time, and when the problems really started in NEW, Sport decided to quit, thinking Trey would come with him. Jones returns to NEW now, and is an enemy with Trey Reed, he and Trey try and kill each other for about a month. Now it shows a houseshow just a couple of days ago, where in the end of the show, Trey Reed and Sport Jones were the men standing in the ring, looking at each other with respect* > Mike: Welcome to Monday Night MASSACRE! As you just saw, the history between Sport Jones and Trey Reed is very long, and incredible! As you also know, Trey was interrupted in a match last night via the Fallen, but Sport Jones made the save and they were the men left in the ring! I'm Mike Ixnay and conspicuous by his absence is Larry Nabisco! Wait, we understand something is going on in the back! > *The scene opens to the back, the church of macabre are * > Mike: Well, how about that? The powers that be are > Ru vs. DEMONIC - Hardcore rules > Hardcore title #1 contendership > Mike: Okay, DEMONIC is already in the ring, and now here comes Ru! > *"Resurrection" by Fear Factory plays over the p.a. system. Ru sprints to the ring pushing the Shopping Cart of goodies* > Mike: Oh, Ru's rushing to the ring and he's got a…a…Croquet mallet from the Croquet set that was IN HIS CART! He's in the ring! Oh! He just nailed DEMONIC on the top of the head with it! Demonic is down! Ru pins! 1! 2! 3! What!?! Oh, it was a kickout! Ru's now going up to the top rope now! He goes for an axehandle! Wait! OMG! DEMONIC GOT THAT MALLET UP WITH HIM AND BUSTED RU IN THE CHIN! He's bleeding! Ru's chin is busted open! DEMONIC is going crazy with that Mallet! He's nailing Ru in the knees! He's swinging it back! No! No! No! Oh! You can hear the snap! If Larry was here, he'd say "Hey, Ru just felt the snap of DEMONIC! Huh huh…" And then I'd smack him…Ohh…The days! DEMONIC going outside the ring, what's he doing? He pulls a table out from under the ring and throws it in! He grabs another! He tosses the two tables into the ring now, he grabs another table! Three tables! Wait! He's got a ladder! He's setting up all three tables! Now the ladder right next to them! He's bringing Ru onto the ladder! He pushes him over and onto the table! DEMONIC is now on top of the ladder! Ru's climbing the ladder slowly though! He grabs DEMONIC! SUPLEX FROM ON TOP OF THE LADDER THROUGH THREE TABLES! But only Ru hit and went through the tables! DEMONIC fell straight to the ground from the ladder! Ru had way more damage done to him! DEMONIC rolls on top of him! 1! 2! kickout! God! RU IS INHUMAN! DEMONIC slowly now getting up, he grabs a trashcan from the Shopping Cart, it's full of trash! Now he's got a broom! He sets the trashcan down face up, and WHACKS RU WITH THAT BROOMSTICK! He picks up Ru! He just trash-canned Ru! Head first! Into all that garbage! Now DEMONIC going up to the top rope! He's got a SINGAPORE CANE! Uh-oh, Ru's legs are hanging out! No! No! He goes off the top rope and nails Ru in the crotch with that cane! From the ladder! OOOOOOOOW! Wait, look at the strength of Demonic! He's lifting up the trashcan with Ru in it! He tosses it all the way outside the ring and it nails the guardrail! Ru must be dead! The guardrail is broken and laying flat! THREE PEOPLE IN THE CROWD ARE TRAPPED UNDER THE GUARDRAIL! Demonic now is on the top rope, Ru is falling out of the trashcan, OMG! Demonic with a HUGE splash from the top onto Ru onto the guardrail! Those three trapped people have gotta be crushed! Demonic throws down a fan, he's got the chair! Ohh! You hear that WHACK across Ru's ahead! Demonic now bodyslams Ru into the Shopping Cart of Goodies! He's going back up on the top rope! Ohh! Ru sits up and Demonic hits an end of a shovel! He's bleeding like crazy! From his ass! Oh wait! Oh no! I just noticed! Look at Ru! When Demonic hit the head of the shovel, the other end lifted up and nailed Ru HARD in the balls! I think Ru's nads are broken in two! Wait! Ru is falling back in pain! He grabs a apple-shaped paperweight and nails Demonic with it as he falls back! Ru is shaken up! He's slowly getting up! Demonic is still bleeding from the ass! Ru empties the "Goodies" into the ring! Let's see, there's…Home appliances and electronics, gardening tools, computer equipment and dishware! Oh my! He rolls Demonic into the ring! He's got a stoneware plate! Oh! He breaks it over Demonic's head! Demonic is bleeding from the skull too now! Ru picks up a whole CPU tower! He tosses it at Demonic! Demonic catches it! VANDAMNINATOR INTO THE CPU TOWER! Ru's got a toaster! Facebuster onto the toaster! He pins! 1-2-kickout! Ru's got the computer monitor, he's waiting for Demonic to get up…Whack! Ohhh! That had to hurt! And now Ru sets the monitor down, EVENFLOW DDT ON THE COMPUTER MONITOR! Demonic crushed the monitor and Ru crushed Demonic's face! Demonic is totally out cold! Ru's running to the back! Huh? Ru's been gone for awhile now, what's going on?!? Wait! Here comes someone! Oh my! It's Ru! And he's got a forklift of unstacked tables! There's 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12! 12 tables! Ru brings the forklift next to the ring and lifts up the tables on the lift! Ru now drives the forklift as far as he can into the ring. Ru now climbs the forklift, he kicks the tables into the ring! He sets up one, now another! A third! He's now on the forklift again, a fourth table?!?! Wait, he's got the ladder! He sets it on the forklift? Huh? He's stacking up a fifth table! Uh-oh, he'd better be careful in balancing himself up there! He's gonna do it! A sixth table! Wait, he's got it! Seven tables! Oh god! He climbs down the ladder and grabs another! EIGHT TABLES! He drags the bloody Demonic with his bloodied hand…He's helping Demonic climb the ladder, how nice. As Larry would say, "Hey, that rookie, with Ru's help, is really climbing the ladder! Hahah!" Then I'd probably smack him….Ahhh! I mis the good old days! I want Larry back! I can't take it anymore! > *Mike cracks and begins switching from seat to seat, acting as Larry and himself* > Mike: Demonic is punching Ru! Ru is gonna fall! Ru with a dropkick! > Larry: Holy Lord! Demonic just fell through 8 tables! That's a record! > Mike: Well, he only broke through 4 of them, the other four are cracked a little, but holding him up! OH WAIT! > Larry: Ru feel backwards off the ladder that was on the forklift about 20 feet back in the crowd! His head cracked WIDE open on the bottom of those stairs! Ru is a pure bloody blood bathy bath! > Mike: Shut-up! Both men are basically dead. The ref can't start the ten count though, it's hardcore rules! > Larry: Well, he's doing it anyway! > Ref: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59, 60, 61, 62, 63, 64, 65, 66, 67, 68, 69, 70, 71, 72, 73, 74, 75, 76, 77, 78, 79, 80, 81, 82, 83, 84, 85, 86, 87, 88, 89, 90, 91, 92, 93, 94, 95, 96, 97, 98, 99, 100! > Mike: No, wait, it was 99! Demonic got up! Well, it doesn't even matter though, because there is no count in these matches… > Larry: Demonic is now in the ropes taking a breather, and the bloodied Ru is slowly, slowly, slowly crawling through the crowd back to the ring, he's about halfway there! Demonic is now up and alive! Wait! Someone's running out! It's…It's…Sherman Willis! Sherman Willis is back in NEW! He storms the ring! Wait! Willis Driver on Demonic! > Mike: As we all remember, Demonic and Sherman Willis were in a huge feud when Sherman Willis had to leave for "personal" reasons. And now Ru is making his way to the ring! He's there! He falls dead and lays a hand on Demonic! 1! 2! 3! No! It's not over! > Larry: Damn, wait, what's he doing? > Mike: He's grabbing something from the inside of the forklift…WHOA! It's gasoline! Hey, you know whose trademark hardcore weapon that is! > Larry: Yeah, Trey Reed, but it's also a lot of others, you idiot. Man, you're starting to sound like that idiot from the WWF, Jim Ross! > Mike: Ru's got that ladder on fire! Oh crap! He managed to POWERBOMB him into the ladder! Pin! 1-2-3! Ru wins! This match is over! > ("Resurrection" by Fear Factory plays, while three refs help Ru up, and his hand is raised for the crowd to huge cheers. He walks over to the camera and signals to Chaos that he is next.) > Mike: Wait! It's Scarecrow in the entranceway! Ru is telling him to bring it! OH! From the crowd! The Church of Macabre! Trevor Haven first in! HE HIT RU WITH THE KENDO STICK! Ru is totally busted open! The rest are stomping on him! TYRANT gives Ru the Last Regret! We'll be back! > Cardinal (c) vs. Wayne Fixx vs. Tommy Matrix vs. 00Pimp - Battle Royal > Crusierweight Title > Mike: Welcome back I'm Mike Ixnay and *sigh* Larry Nabisco is still gone…I hope I wasn't too hard on him…*sniff* You'll have to excuse me! > (Mike runs off carrying tissues and crying. Now Slim Cross walks down to the ring and then "It's all about the Benjamin's" plays and following him is the official President of New Extreme Wrestling, Big Money Benjamin G.) > Slim: Welcome back to NEW, sorry, but one of our NEW announcers didn't show up and the other, well… > Benny: Is a Nancy boy! > Slim: Well, yeah…Anyway, we got ourselves a Battle Roy-al! > Benny: Hey, you gotta be in a match later tonight, huh? > Slim: Yeah, and I'm gonna win the tag-titles! The Hardcore legend and the uhh…Legend! > Benny: Anyway, let's go to our next match! > ("I want it that way" by The Backstreet Boys plays as Joey "00Pimp" Anderson struts out annoyingly to the ring.) > Benny: That guy, is a moron! He's so annoying! > Slim: Yeah, and here comes Tommy Matrix! > ("Bawidaba" by Kid Rock starts up and you can hear Tommy with a mic) > Tommy: My name is TOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!! > (He steps out to huge cheers) > Tommy: TOMMY MATRIX! > (Huge pyro explodes and Tommy runs down into the ring and slides in.) > Slim: Looks like we're already starting! Joey with a huge elbow drop! Tommy slowly getting up, ohhh! Pimp Smack! > Benny: Are you sure? That looked like more of a bit-*beep* slap then a pimp slap to me! Anyway, now Joey picks him back up! That's his variation of the fameasser! Now he lifts him up once again…Powerbomb! No! Tommy grabs his head! Tornado DDT! He lifts Joey up, Spinning Piledriver! Joey rolls out under the bottom rope! > Slim: That means he's still alive! He's slowly getting up, wait, Tommy's getting momentum bouncing off the ropes! Huge Plancha to Joey! What an idiot! > Benny: I! I! I! He just went over the top rope! Tommy Matrix stupidly eliminated himself! WHY?!? > ("Dope Show" by Marilyn Manson plays and out runs all three men in the Freyk Show. They begin to pound on Joey Anderson) > Slim: This isn't fair! > ("Kashmir" By Led Zeppelin plays to a mixed crowd reaction as Cardinal, Saturday Night Fever, and Trey Reed walk out to the ring. Cardinal gets into the ring with Wayne Fixx, while Trey and SNF battle it out with Blockade and Omega Zappa.) > Slim: Well, there's your crusierweight champion! > Benny: And the Profit$! Blockade knocks out Bernie! Now it's fair evens on the outside and in the ring! Omega and Trey going toe-to-toe! Same with Mikey and Blockade! Blockade pokes Mikey in the eyes! Ohhh! Mikey kicked him where it hurts! > Slim: Mikey's got a chair! Blockade pushes it straight into Mikey! Blockade and Omega now have the double team on Trey Reed! > Benny: Meanwhile, in the ring, Wayne Fixx with a Spinning Heel kick on Cardinal! Joey now in the ring! From behind on Wayne with a Torture Rack! Ohhh! That's gotta hurt! Cardinal with a missle Dropkick to both men! They're both in the ropes! Cardinal rushes them! Ohh! All three go over the top rope! > Slim: WHAT?!? Who's the winner? > (Reid Wilson is seen walking out there, the three fed-heads have a conversation. They agree on something and tell it to Michael Buttbuffer) > Michael: Ladies and Gentleman, there is no winner to this contest, and Cardinal is STILL your New Extreme Wrestling crusierweight champion! > (Joey and Wayne are furious) > Michael: HOWEVER! There will be a three-way dance elimination match NEXT WEEK! If there is > interference by ANY stable mate, the wrestler who is interfered FOR will be eliminated! This will be a > double cage match, that is, ONE cage stack on top of another to make a 50 foot cage! The winner will have > to climb the cage and grab the title at the top! > Benny: That ought to please all the fans! Wait, we understand they have Mike Ixnay under control > backstage and he's coming back out to announce! > Slim: Good, cause we need to tend to business in the back! > Reid: Huh? What are yah talking about? > Slim: I hear that us three get free food! All night long! Whoohoo! Let's get our Shindig going! > *The three walk off as Mike, happy as a clam, walks down the isle* > Mike: Hello everybody! Welcome back to Mike! I mean, yeah! I'm Mike, and I'm a happy-pappy boy! > happy happy! And, wait, what's going on? > *He here chomping and chewing and is looking all around, he looks under the table and looks shocked.* > Mike: Larry! Larry Nabisco! What are you doing under that table? Get out from there! > *Larry is telling him to be quiet but to no avail, and then Mike pulls him out from under the table, chicken > leg in hand* > Mike: Larry! You made it! HI LARRY! HI! > Larry: Umm, hey Mike…I guess…Umm, I just wanna say to all those people out there, THE RUMORS > ARE TOTALLY FALSE! I didn't eat that whole buffet that they had set up for the bosses! Seriously! Even > if I did, I hear that whoever did it, which WAS NOT me, still left a chicken wing and Tuna Sandwich and > some Potato salad and beans and ahhhhhhh… Anyway, please do not hunt me down and try to lock me up > and throw away the key! Seriously, I'm a good little boy! I didn't eat your food! DON'T HATE ME > BECAUSE I'M BEAUTIFUL! Please, don't hurt meeee…I'm just a little child! I didn't mean to! > Mike: Umm…Okay, we'll be back! > *Commercial break for lobotomies at your local Chiropractor and special feel-good happy-pappy drugs. > Mike: All right, before we go to our next match, Slim > Cross has schedule a huge announcement.... > *Camera switches to Slim and NEW Chief of Security > Sauce, who are both wearing NEW windbreakers. Slim and > Sauce shakes hands with fans as they make their way to > the ring. Fans are giving the two NEW officials a loud > pop as they enter the ring* > Slim: I'm glad to see everyone is doing well here > tonight. Let's cut the BS and get to the main point of > all this. I hate coming out here and doing these, > because it wastes time that could be devoted to more > wrestling, and I know that's what y'all came out here > tonight to see. (fans pop) Well, I feel that this > announcement is important. It has to do with an > upcoming NEW event. > Larry: Hmm.... > Slim: As you all know, the banned former NEW > commissioner Boomer Karr has expressed serious > interest in booking and promoting a pay-per-view this > month, entitled November to Dismember. Now, Boomer, > wherever you are, this ain't the old ICW. You can't > call all the shots and do as you please. First off, > you're a nobody, you have no authority. Boomer, the > most important thing that you forgot is that you and > Terrell Payne are banned from the NEW for illegal > substance abuse. That means that you cannot be > involved in the NEW in any way, shape or form. Now, I > have been hearing reports that you and Payne have been > trying to sneak into house shows as of late. Well, I > have given the NEW Head of Security, Sauce, the > permission to do as he pleases if you two scumbugs are > caught again. So, the point to all this, is that I am > canceling the November to Dismember pay per view!! > Mike: WOW! > Larry: Oh my..... > *some fans boo* > Slim: Don't get me wrong, it would've probably been a > great show, but Boomer has no right what-so-ever to > think that he still has the power to promote and PPV, > when he isn't even allowed in this federation!!! > *a voice comes over the loudspeakers* > Voice: Slim, why would you want to displease all these > loyal fans of NEW?! > Larry: WHO IS THAT?! > Mike: I don't recognize that voice.... > Slim: WHO IS THAT?! Sauce....do you know who that is? > *Sauce looks surprised* Sauce...tell me! > Voice: Oh, belief me, Sauce knows who this is....don't > you, champ?! Slim, hold on, I'm coming out > there....just let me find my way out of the > locker-room area.... > Mike: Good, now we'll get to see who the hell it > is...... > Larry: BRING HIM OUT!!! > Slim: Come on out!!! > *the spotlight shines on the entrance to the rampway. > No one walks out* > Voice: Damn! Wrong turn! > Larry: That guy is in peanut heaven!!! > *a spotlight is beginning to search in the upper decks > of the arena* > Voice: HEY! Over here!!! > *the spotlight shines in one of the press boxes* > Larry: LOOK!!! > Mike: WHAT IS HE DOING HERE IN NEW?! > Voice: Sauce......How ya doin?! > Mike: IT'S FORMER ICW VP BRIAN BRAND...IN NEW!!! > Slim Cross: Well, well, well...if it isn't Brian Brand > of the old ICW. What brings you out here?! > Brand: Well, Slim, frankly, I don't like the way > things are going in the wrestling world, especially > here in the NEW. > Slim Cross: Did your buddy Boomer tell you to come > here? > Brand: Actually...sorta. You see, Slim...Boomer wanted > me to tell you that he and Terrell are doing fine...in > fact, I have a video of them for you to see. > *"Steal My Sunshine" by LEN plays as a video of Boomer > and Terrell Payne starts up. It is of different clips > of them playing various board games and putting > together puzzles. Then clips of them partying and > flirting with women are shown. The video ends* > Brand: Ah...they are doing well. Anyways, Slim...you > can't go and put an end to this PPV! > Slim Cross: Who are you to tell me what I can and > can't do? > Brand: Well, Slim....you ain't talking to former ICW > VP and Highway 666 Co-founder Brian Brand. No sir-ee, > you're talking to NEW Booker Brian Brand. > Slim Cross: WHAT?! > Brand: Let's just say that I was always behind the > scenes here in the NEW! > Slim Cross: NO YOU WEREN'T!!!! > Brand: Oh yes I was. You see, I was creeping and > lurking in the shadows waiting for a good time to come > out and reveal to you Slim that I am a NEW employee!!! > Slim Cross: In what capacity? > Brand: Let's just say that I "own" someone here! > Slim: WHO?! > Brand: That is unimportant now. Slim, I won't bull > sh!t any longer. The fact of the matter is that > November to Dismember will go down on Sunday November > 21st! And......I AM PROMOTING IT!!! > Slim: You can't over-rule me!!! > Brand: Yes I can....There is one match already signed! > Slim: WHO?! > Brand: Well, I received a match request from two NEW > stars who weren't given proper respect during their > tenure here. They have requested a match against two > men...One a NEW official, and one a NEW wrestler. So, > I have granted them that tag match. > Slim: WHO ARE THEY?! > Brand: These two men are going to lead us into the > next millenium and beyond. We are going to rise from > the ashes, my friends. At November to Dismember, the > Reunion will take place and all those who wish to join > can come and take part. > Slim: What are you talking about?! > Brand: Slim Cross, you have nothing to fear. Two men > back in the locker-rooms, they are the ones who should > fear. Sean Steele and Scheme Gene....little by little > your lives have been slowly taken from you. At > November to Dismember, your blood will flow. I have > wiped my hands from you. It is not my responsibility > of what will happen to you two. > *camera splits to the back in Steele's locker room. He > is dressed in street clothes. He is watching his > monitor, and he is shaking his head. He grabs the > remote and hurls it against the wall. Scheme Gene > walks in* > Brand: Scheme Gene and Sean Steele.....November to > Dismember....you two and the Dark Carnival. Can you > two handle it? > Slim Cross: *looking at Sauce* Brian Brand....if you > think that you and your cronies are coming into > NEW...IT'LL BE OVER MY DEAD BODY!!!! > Brian Brand: Oh, that was the wrong thing to say..... > *the lights go out. When they come back on, Slim Cross > and Sauce are covered in a Faygo bath in the middle of > the ring* > Mike: Larry, don't tell me that Brian Brand > and...and...Wicked Clown and H.O.P. are together!! > Larry: This is bad.... > *Slim and Sauce are trying to get up, but they both > fall to the mat as the Faygo is slippery* > Mike: So...Scheme Gene and...and....Sean Steele are > going to face House of Pain and Wicked Clown at > November to Dismember? > Larry: I guess so...but where the heck are those two > goofballs? They show up last week, but only for a few > minutes. And this Reunion....a Reunion of who? > Mike: I think this November to Dismember will go down > in the books! > Larry: Brian Brand...in NEW?! That's hard to > believe!!! > *Sean Steele and Scheme Gene rush down the aisle to > assist Cross and Sauce as the camera fades* > Lance Slade vs. Trevor Haven - Electric Barbwire cage match > Loser has to be the others SLAVE for one week > Mike: We're back and what a match we have for you! This is gonna be incredible! Two NEW up-and-coming stars > Larry: *whispering to the camera* That means jobbers… > Mike: I heard that! ANYWAY, Lance Slade, the annoying toad and Trevor Haven, the evil little child, are gonna hook it up! And guess what, the loser has to be the other one's SLAVE for one week! This will be a great match, these men have a GREAT arsenal of moves! > Larry: Umm…Yeah…Here comes Slade… > *Lance Slade's music plays and he walks out, sunglasses and windbreakers on, awfully strange for the new body he was resurrected in. He has tanned his body a very light brown, and his dreadlocks are all shaved off and his hair is in a type of flat-top fro.* > *The background organ music to "Indagadedavida" plays over the P.A. system and out to the ring runs Trevor Haven, his hair is sunned bright blonde. He is lugging an 8 gallon water jug cut that is filled with weapons, and nails Slade with it as he enters the ring.* > Larry: Ohhh! Slade got nailed! And now the cage is lowering! > Mike: Remember fans at home, this barbwire is electrocuting, and can send even send up to 100 volts of power! Trevor Haven pulls out, a crockpot! Huge crack across Lance Slade's head! Slade is busted open already! > Larry: Well, that and there's the fact that Slade is also out cold on the mat. Anyway, Trevor Haven empties the water-jug of weapons! Lets see. What weapon to choose! Oh so many! He picks up a pair of symbols from a drum set! Ohhh! He clapped the symbols across Slade's head! I'm betting Slade's got a headache! > Mike: That's true! But also, look at what Trevor has now! It's an asthma inhaler! He grabs it and shakes it up, Slade slowly getting up, Oh My --- > Larry: God! Trevor sprayed the asthma inhaler into Slade's eyes! Slade fell back into the cage! The barbwire is stuck on his back, and he's being electrocuted! Trevor grabs the water-jug, he tosses it at Slade, and dropkicks it! Slade is really stuck into the barbwire! I don't think he can be shocked anymore! > Mike: It looks like he's drained all the electricity from it! Lance looks to have died once again! Trevor Haven is now looking for something under the ring, he's got, he's got…A pale? > Larry: *His face goes white* Oh no Mike! That's not just ANY pale, that's…that's…A pale of water… > Mike: It is? Oh no! Don't do it Trevor! No! No! No! Please don't! No! This is sick, or it's going to be! > Larry: Wait Mike! Lance Slade got himself out of the barbwire! Trevor threw the water and the electricity zapped Trevor! Oh my god! Slade with a rockbottom onto that pale! Trevor's head is almost split in two! Slade pins! 1-2-kickout! How did he kickout? I dunno, but I don't care what Mike thinks! Lance Slade backs into the cage, OHHH! TREVOR THREW A CHAIR INTO LANCE SLADE'S FACE AND HE GOT KNOCKED INTO THE CAGE! Lance Slade falls down, possible dead. Wait, what's Trevor doing? He's got a ladder! He's climbing the top of the ladder! He just jumped onto the top of the cage! His rubber shoes are keeping the electricity from shocking him! OH MY GOD! TREVOR HAVEN WITH A GIGANTIC DOUBLE FLIP SHOOTING STAR PRESS ONTO SLADE! He is completely knocked out himself though! He cracked his jaw on a shovel! Lance Slade's arm falls on top of Trevor's! 1! 2! 3! Slade wins! Trevor has to be Slade's slave for a week! > Mike: He's already the Church of Macabre's slave! > HII(C) Vs. Slim Cross and Wolvie(Tag Titles) > *Slim and Wolvie are already in the ring as HII make their way to the ring > wearing their titles around their waists. Claude Summers taunts Slim, and > maybe even Wolvie too by coming to the ring with a walker.* > Mike Ixnay: Electrician leaves the walker at ring side as The Plumber and > Wolvie start things out. > Larry Nabisco: Wolvie with a running power slam to The Plumber. He > immidiatly goes for the DAS, but Plumber grabs the ropes. Wolvie now with a > kick to the gut of The Plumber. He's reeling. PEDIGREE. Wolvie pins > 1......2....kick out. Plumber gets up and makes the tag to Summers who runs > in and Spears Wolvie. He climbs the top rope. Moonsault. > Mike Ixnay: Summers now applies and ankle lock. Wolvie breaks. He makes the > Tag to Slim Cross. Slim Cross tackles Summers. He steps back takes and > runing start, Belly Flop!!! Cross Pins..1..Kick out. Summers is now up. He > gives Cross Repeated rights and lefts to the face. He has bloodied the > comishioners lip. Cross just colapses. Summers pins. 1....2....Wolvie jumps > in to make the save. Summers pulls Cross up and puts him on his shoulders. > Plumber on the Turnbuckle. Closeline! Both men are beating the crap out of > Comish. Wolvie runs in and throws both men out of the ring. Wolvie follows > them outside the ring. > Larry Nabisco: Summers leads him into a trap as he smashes the walker over > Wolvies head. Meanwhile Plumber sees Slim laying unconscious in the ring. He > runs in and pins. 1...2...Kick out. What? jelly belly got out of a pin? > Mike Ixnay: Well he did used to be World Champion about 25 years ago. Back > in the day. > Larry Nabisco: I'm sure you remember it like it was yesterday Mike. > Mike Ixnay: Quest what Larry? > Larry Nabisco: what? > Mike Ixnay: Shut the f*ck up. > Larry Nabisco: Well while YOU were not paying attention to the match, Wolvie > and Summers and now fighting near the entrence way and Slim Cross is > furiously attacking The Plumber, who is.......in the corner LAUGHING! Jesus > Christ man. > Mike Ixnay: meanwhile outside the ring Wolvie just grabbed a chair and > waylaid Summers, I mean he floored his ass. Wolvie runs into the ring to > give Slim a hand. Wolvie with a spear on Plumber. DDT! Slim now with his > famous Belly Flop!! Wolvie holds Plumber as Slim pummels him. Wolvie now > applies the DAS. > Larry Nabisco: Slim and Wolvie have this one won, its only a matter of time > before Plummber taps. Slim goes over to get the belts....WAIT SLIM JUST GOT > FLOORED WITH A BASEBALL BAT!! Some old guy gets in the ring and busts Wolvie > across the mouth with it. Wolvie is unconsious. Plummber pins. > 1....2....3!!!! HII wins. Summers walks walks over to the ring. > Electrician: thanks Grandpa. > Kreig Summers: No problem Claud, now lets take out the trash. > Mike Ixnay: HII and Claud Summers grandpa are all visously attacking Slim > Cross. Wolvie is just leaving the ring and leaving Slim to the dogs. WAIT > HERE COMES SOMEBODY!!! I dont know who the hell that is but he spears Wolvie > in the asile, runs into the ring and clears HII and the foggy. > Larry Nabisco: He's helping Slim up. > Slim Cross: SON!!! It's been...... > Mystery Dude: Too long Dad. I'm sorry I never visited, but I was busy. > Slim Cross: Too busy for your family? > Mystery Dude: No Dad, working my ass off to become a member of the family. I > wanted follow in your footsteps and wrestle. I want to be great like you > Dad. > Slim Cross:*tearing up* I love you boy. *calling for a mic* LADIES AND > GENTLEMEN, THE NEWEST MEMBER OF THE NEW, MY SON, DEVIN CROSS!!! > Devin Cross: Correction Dad, its "The Sun Dance Kid" Devin Cross. > Larry Nabisco: Slim looks at Devin proudly. They embrace. Slim and Devin > leave as Slim Places an arm on his sons shoulder. We'll be back! > *commercials* > Chaos vs Rancid > Hardcore Title Match > *The match starts with Rancid already in the ring. "Faith" by Limp Bizkit starts-up, and the Hardcore Champion, Chaos, comes out to a good pop. Chaos storms the ring and begins to brawl with Rancid, this is on!* > Mike: Chaos and Rancid are trading punches back and forth! Rancid ducks, European upper-cut! Chaos is down, and Rancid stays on the offense with a rolling knee-drop across the chest! Cover by Rancid, 1-2-Kickout! Already a close victory, that caught Chais by surprise! > Larry: Yeah, but now Chaos is pyssed! A low-blow buckled Rancid over, and now a hard DDT! Remember, in a Hardcore Title match there's no rules at all! Unlimited nut-shots are legal! > Mike: Uh...Right...Anyway, Chaos is kicking Rancid furiously, and now he's picking him up by the hair, Chaos sends Rancid into the ropes, and a cloaths-line from Hell sends him out of the ring! Falls count anywhere too, so the ring doesn't limit anything! Chaos grabs a chair, and he cracks it across Rancid's back! > Larry: Chaos makes the cover, 1-2-Kickout! Close one! Rancid's rolling around on the ground in obvious pain, and Chaos sets-up a table! The fans are cheering Chaos on, and he sets Rancid on the table after a hard right across the jaw! > Mike: Chaos climbs back into the ring and is up on the top turnbuckle! Chaos comes off with an elbow-drop, but Rancid moves! Chaos crashed right through the table! He might be out! Rancid is up, and he picks-up Chaos, and gives him a pile-driver right on top of the table wreckage! Rancid makes the cover, but wait! It's Demonic, he jumped out of the crowd with a sledge-hammer! OH! Demonic cracked that sledge-hammer right across the back of Rancid! > Larry: He really is Demonic! Chaos rolls over and draps his arm over Rancid, 1-2-3! This one is over, and thanks to Demonic, Chaos retains the Hardcore Title! The fans are cheering both men's efforts! > *Commercials* > TYRANT, Scarecrow McBride, and Ragnarok vs Rick Derringer and Two Mystery Partners > *"The Outlaw" Rick Derringer comes out to no theme music, as he is obviously distraught from the recent betrayal of his friend Tombstone, and the death of his mentor and friend, Hawk Manson. Rick walks out to a good ovation, and gets into the ring with a microphone* > Rick: I know many of you are wondering who my partners are tonight. Well, I had one. And I don't know about the second. You all know the story, so I guess I'm going to have to take-on the Chruch of Macabre myself. And I have no problem with that. Get you big dead asses out here! > *With that said, "When Worlds Collide" by Powerman 5000 starts-up, and Ragnarok, Scarecrow McBride, along with the NEW World Champion TYRANT walk out all with smiles on their faces. Well, maybe Ragnarok has a smile. His face is kinda covered by his mask. They all climb into the ring at once, and when TYRANT points at Rick, Scarecrow attacks him, but Ragnarok hangs back for some reason* > Mike: Well, it looks like the bitter rivals Rick Derringer and Scarecrow McBride will start this thing off! Punches flying, Derringer gets the early advantage. but then Scarecrow drives a knee right into his gut! Scarecrow looking for the early win with a Power-Bomb set-up but Rick back body-drops him! Rick now going for Scarecrow with punches to the forehead, but Scarecrow reverses by kicking him right in the teeth! > Larry: Scarecrow picks-up Derringer by the throat with both hands, and slams him back down! Scarecrow picks Rick up again, and he's holding him, it looks like for Ragnarok! > Mike: Ragnarok looks like he's telling Scarecrow to just go ahead, and TYRANT looks at him confused. TYRANT just shakes his head, and he gets into the ring! TYRANT and Scarecrow are now double-teaming Rick Derringer, this is a mugging! Wait, the fans are going nuts! OH MY GOD! IT'S HAWK MANSON! HAWK MANSON! But, he's dead!!! > Larry: Not anymore, Mike! Hawk's in the ring with a steel chair, and he lays TYRANT and Scarecrow out! Hawk is kicking the sh*t out of them! And Ragnarok is now in the ring! > Mike: Ragnarok is looking at his fallen partners, it's like he doesn't know what to do! Wait, he's saying something to Rick...Let's see if we can get in closer... > Ragnarok:...Haven't found them yet... > Mike: Haven't found who yet?! Wait, Ragnarok motions to Hawk Manson, and Hawk knocks him down with the steel chair! Cover by Hawk, 1-2-3! Ragnarok didn't even fight back, but TYRANT and Scarecrow didn't see anything! They're out cold too! What's going on here?! > *Commercials* > MAIN EVENT: Trey Reed vs. Sport Jones > In Memory of Sniper > *Slim Cross, Ben G, and Reid Wilson all walk to the ring, mic in hand before the > match starts.* > Slim Cross: Last Monday we lost one of our dearest freinds to a tragic > death. > Ben G: Sniper died doing what he loved best. His death possibly could have > been avoided, but he wasn't afraid to lay it all on the line. If we had more > wrestlers like him, then this place would be a whole lot better. > Reid Wilson: If this world had more people like him, the world would be better. > Thats why tonight we chose the two men in the NEW who we feel best > represented what Sniper was all about. Lets bring them to the ring now. > *Snipers theme music, "Break Stuff" By Limp Bizkit begins to play as Sport > Jones walks to the ring wearing Powers that Be cuttoff which has RIP Sniper > writen across the back in chalk. After Sport is in the ring Trey walks down > wearing the first shirt ever worn by Sniper in the NEW, a Viper: feel the > venom shirt, he grabs a mic.* > Trey Reed: I have talked to the three big bosses *points to Reid, BMBG, and Slim* and they have agreed that NO MATTER WHAT, there will be a winner. No matter HOW MANY interference's, and HOW MUCH blood loss, and HOW LONG outside the ring, the match will go on! The only way to win, is by "Pin or Submission"! I dedicate this match to my homie, my great friend, Sniper. You are definitely one of a kind! There's only one man that can pull this match off to be the best…E-e-eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeVER! I know you're up there somewhere Sniper, and tonight, the world's eyes are on the former 2-time NEW world champion! You will be missed throughout the universe! > Mike Ixnay: the loss of Sniper was indeed very tragic. I'm sure it makes > Sniper proud to see two of his very best friends fighting in his honor. Trey > and Sport Shake hands as the bell rings. > Larry Nabisco: Trey starts things off the way Sniper always did, with a kick > to the midsection. Trey now with some knife edge chops to the chest of > Sport. Man Trey, you can tell is putting his every thing into this match, > just by the look on his face. > Mike Ixnay: Yeah, him and Sniper were pretty close. Sport Jones comes > roaring back though with a Russian leg sweep. Sport loved that guy too man. > We all did. Sport now with a DDT to Trey. Sport climbs up top. He connects > with an elbow drop. He tries to apply a figure 4 on Trey, but Trey squirms > too much and gets out. Now both men are on their feet. > Larry Nabisco: They lock up and Sport wins out as he gets Trey into a head > lock. Trey now with elbows to the gut of Jones. He breaks free. Trey with a > head sissors to Sport. He climbs the turnbuckle now and connects with a > sunset flip. Now trey jumps onto the rope, bounces off, does a flip in mid > air and......misses Sport. > Mike Ixnay: Nice ariel ability by Trey. Both men are now down. Sport climbs > to his feet first. He pulls Trey up. X-factor by Jones. Jones picks up Trey > and throws him into the turnbuckle. Sport charges at him, Trey dodges. Sport > goes head first into the buckle. Trey now with an ax kick. > Larry Nabisco: Dont look now but here comes trouble. It's Tyrant and The > Church of Macabre. > Mike Ixnay: those b@stards have gone too far if they plan on interfereing in > this match. Wait. The Powers that be charge out and attck them from > behind.Go POWERS!! Grendel Spears Tyrant and Roanoke at once, while Bowen > Danes go to work on the others. Meanwhile in the ring, the two competitors > have no clue whats going on outside the ring. Sport Jones now has the > advantage as he comes off rope. SPORT WITH A HUGE SPEAR! Trey is in another > state now. > Larry Nabisco: Yeah, the state of confusion. Heres an interesting fact, > there hasn't been a single pin yet. > Mike Ixnay: thats the way it should be Larry, they just want to honor their > late freind. > Larry Nabisco: Meanwhile outside the ring the only two men left standing are > Grendel and Tyrant all the other men have been laid out on the ground and > are all bloody. Tyrant and Grendel are each gushing blood as well, yet they > are nailing each other with crow bars. they are nailing each other hard too > but either one refuses to go down. Back in the ring Sport Jones is still > dominating. He puts Trey up on the top Turn buckle. He pulls him over > Vertical Suplex off the Top turnbuckle. He now climbs the top rope, Shooting > Star Press. He pins 1...2...th..., no wait the ref says its only two. That > was an extremely questionable count. Sport doesn't b*tch about it though. > Mike Ixnay: Sport sends Trey into the turnbuckle. Splash!! Trey is exausted > and The Ultimate Athlete in Jones is comming out. Sport now with an overhead > arm drag. He pulls Trey up. Belly-to-back suplex. He pins. 1....2...kick out > by Trey. He'll be damned if he loses this match Larry. > Larry Nabisco: No kidding Mike, Sport pulls up Trey. Outside the ring > Grendel and Tyrant have put down their crowbars and are now choking slaming > the hell out of each other. Tyrant with a choke Slam on Grendel. Grendel > gets right back up. Grendel chokes slams Tyrant. tyrant gets right back up. > Tyrant Choke slams Grendel. Grendel gets right back up...... > Mike Ixnay: Inside the ring Sport jones with a face buster on Trey Reed. > Sport now with a Melenkoplex. Trey reed using every ounce of strenght he has > left reverses it. pin 1...2..Sport barely kicks out. Trey now with his > second wind with a titlt-a-whirl salto to sport Jones. Jones back up. > Spinning head sissors. Sport struggles to get to his feet, diving closeline > by Trey. Gradually the tide is turninging in Treys favor now. > trey with a shoulder breaker on sport. Sport is down. Trey climbs the > turnbuckle. Flying headbutt!! Oh god! he mis-calculated it. He missed and > both men are laying in the ring, struggling to get to their feet. The fans > are going crazy, > Lary Nabisco: Some chant for Sport, some chant for Trey, other simply chant > Sniper. Both men climb to their feet. Sport with a knife edge chop to Trey, > Trey comes back with a kick to the gut of Sport. Sport follows that with an > elbow to the gut of Trey that sends him to his knees. Sport follows up with > a Scoop slam. Sport pulls up trey. Sport with a sidewalk Slam. Sport now > pulls up trey up again. SNIPER BOMB!! Sport points to heaven were we know > Sniper is looking down proudly on his two freinds. Sport pins, > 1....2.....KICK OUT!!!! That has got to be the greatest kick out in the > history of the NEW. The fans are on their feet. > Mike Ixnay: Sport pulls Trey up Trey with an elbow to the gut of Sport. > Wait, Outside the ring Tyrant has just laid out Grendel and is making his > way to the ring. Out of the back comes The bosses. They all pounce on > Tyrant. Tyrant throws them off with no problem. He Powerbombs each one > before throwing them into the crowd. I cant take this anymore Larry. > *Mike Ixnay throws off his headset and runs out and tries to attack Tyrant* > Larry Nabisco: Mike actually has some balls after all. Tyrant looks down and > laughs at Mike. meanwhile back in the ring. Trey Reed with a missile drop > kick at Sport Jones. Sport falls to his knees. Trey slide tackles Sport and > Sport collapses. Trey climbs the turnbuckle now. another Flying headbut. HE > CONNECTS!! But he bounces of Sport as soon as he hits him. both men are once > again down in the ring. Trey trys to crawl over to Sport. He does, he lays a > hand over Sports chest. 1......2.....2 1/2. Sport kicks out. Outside Tyrant > has shoved Mikes head through the gaurd rail. Mike is bleed profusely. Tyrant > is now entering the ring.......wait here comes Wolvie!! Wolvie pulls Tyrant > down and puts him in a DAS!! Tyrant passes out. Wolvie must've done it in > memory of Sniper, what a true freind to Sniper Wolvie was, even after Sniper > turned his back on him, Wolvie remained loyal to Sniper. Wolvie points to > heaven then he points to the two men in the ring and applauds. Wolvie is now > rallying the crowd. The crowd is screaming. Wolvie is screaming for the two > men in the ring. Wolvie is now in the announcers booth with me. > Wolvie: Hey Larry. Helluva a match isn't it? Wow these two competitors are > laying it all on the line for that great guy in the sky. And dont even ask > why I came down here, I let by-gons be bygones with sniper and well leave it > at that. Trey Reed is now up. He pulls up Sport Jones who can barely stand. > Russian Leg Sweep. He spring boards off the ropes. And goes for the pin > 1....2...kick out. > Larry Nabisco: Sport Jones jumps to his feet, he now has his second wind. > Sport charges at Trey, but he stops dead in his tracks. He must've pulled a > muscle or something. Trey not wasting any time spears Sport. > Now....NEACKBRACE!!!!! ITS THE NECKBRACE!!!! Sport is fighting it, fighting > it.......fighting it. HE BREAKS IT!!!! IT's THE FIRST TIME IN THE HISORY OF > THAT MOVE THAT IT HAS EVER BEEN BROKEN. Sport now climbs to his feet. He > sends Trey into the turnbuckle. Stinger Splash! That's one, he throws him into the opposite corner, ANOTHER! The third corner, another Stinger Splash! Now the last corner! Ohhh! A fourth Stinger Splash! Jones is signaling to the crowd for 1 more! He whips Trey! NO! TREY REVERSES IT AND WHIPS SPORT INTO HIM AND TURNS HIM AROUND AND HE HITS DOWNWARD SPIRAL! INTO THE TOP TURNBUCKLE! But Trey is busted open in the back of his head by a crowbar set down by Tyrant! > Wolvie: Larry, this is excellent display of talent, balls, and respect for > Sniper and one another all in one. Both men are unconscious. The crowd is at > an all time high. > Crowd: Sniper! *Clap Clap* Sport Jones *Clap Clap Clap* Trey Reed *Clap-Clap Clap-Clap-Clap* Sniper! Sport Jones! Trey Reed! WHOOOOO! > Larry Nabisco: Trey begins to squirm over to Sport, its almost a shimmy on > the ground, he throws his arm up. He barely gets it over before he passes > out. The ref counts....1....2...3 TREY REED WINS!!! The ref helps both men > to their feet and raises Treys hand in the air. Trey points to heaven. > Wolvie: Trey shakes Sports hand, then Sport leave the ring, and Trey begins to exit through the crowd. > Both of these men did one Helluva a job here tonight! > Larry: True, folks, this has been a great night…Especially since Mike has passed out! This is Larry Nabisco, saying goodbye for Wolvie and Mike Ixn…Wait! Something's going on! > Wolvie: What? The rest of the Church of Macabre are here! > Larry: They're jumping Sport and the Powers that be! TYRANT's up and attacking too! > Wolvie: Okay, somebody's gotta stop this! > Larry: Wait! Wolvie! Wolvie has just rushed out to the ramp where the Church of Macabre are! They're beating the crap out of him! Sport is laid out! Here comes Ru, and Trey Reed's coming back from the crowd! Wait, they're planning something here…Look at them talk to each-other! They both pick-up chairs! Tyrant pushes Trevor Haven out in front of them! Trey, what!?!? Trey throws a chair to Trevor, AND HE TURNS AROUND AND BUSTS TYRANT ACROSS THE HEAD! Ru and Trey are in the fight now too! The numbers are evening out here! Wolvie and Jones are up! The Church of Macabre is in a brawl with some of NEW's best! OMG! Trey and Tyrant are battling on the NEW-tron stage! Oh My God! NOOOOOOO!!! HELL NO! TYRANT JUST PUT TREY THROUGH THE LAST REGRET INTO THE NEWTRON FROM 20 FEET UP! THE WHOLE STAGE COLLAPSES! TREY MUST BE DEAD! DAMN TYRANT! Damn him! F*ck him! Fans, all that stands now is Jones, Wolvie, Ru, and Trevor Haven looking over the limp, possibly dead body of Trey Reed, this is sick! Fans, sorry, but we gotta go! > *Fades to copyright*