(the setting opens with a little boy walking out of a toy store with an NEW action figure that he did not pay for and the
dealer coming up behind him saying, "Don't steal that, you can get put in jail for that....."........ then the scene cuts to the
same dealer watching NEw on PPV and the FBI knocking on his door. the scene is cut with Mike Ixnay
interrupting....)
MI: Yeah, yeah...... they'll never catch me though, my brother gets cable for free...... Hi ladies and gentlemen, we are
celebrating 6 months of NEW live on PPV tonight with our Fall edition of Fallout. It was exactly 6 months ago tonight
that Jason Bagwell won the NEW world title by beating 11 other top NEW superstars and tonight, although the world
Title is not up for grabs, we have a spectacular card for you tonight. Let's kick it off with our opening match here live
on NEW!!!!!!
Trevor the Raven v. Nate Tesch:
LN: Here comes Trevor the Raven right now..... he's a real dreary looking guy isn't he?
MI: Yeah, this guy is such a loser.....
LN: What did you say??????
("Mota" by Offspring plays as Nathaniel Tesch approaches the ring)
MI: Hey Nathaniel Tesch is back!!!!!! Hey looks like he is in GREAT shape!!!!!
LN: This FOWWW ledgend has been in NEW before, but he was unfortunately unable to stay for a while. I heard that
he is training some of the young new talent in the wrestling world with this HIWF place.......
MI: As I understand it, Ru, the new United States Champion is a graduate of his training regiment!
LN: No say?!?!?!?!?!?!?
(bell rings)
MI: The match is underway and Trevor is trying to get Nate to shake his hand......
LN: Yeah, byt Nate is not that dumb, well, he is but let's just pretend he is not.......
(Mike slaps Larry)
MI: Nate is acting like he is going to shake Trevor's hand but..... HE KICKED TREVOR IN THE KNEECAP!!!!!!
Smart move, he can't use his arial attack with a bad wheel......
LN: Nate is picking Trevor up now and it is a Juvie Driver to Trevor onto the mat......
MI: This Trevor guy has been getting a following and a few wins lately... if he beats Nate, he could make a name for
himself...... Nate is pulling Trevor back up and IT'S A SNAPMARE TAKEDOWN INTO A
DRAGONSLEEPER!!!!!!
LN: You mean that Nate can do combonations too?!?!?!?!?!?!?
MI: Oh please Larry...... Nate is releasing the hold and he runs to the ropes, a rebound and LANDING DROPCIKC
INTO TREVOR'S FACE!!!!!! THAT'S GOTTA HURT!!!!!
LN: Nate looks like he is getting bored right now......
MI: He's yawning and pulling up one of trevor's legs...... IT'S THE TESCH BITE!!!!!! Nate has Trevor in a
submission hold!!!!!!! Trevor taps out!!!!!!
(bell rings)
Micheal Buttbuffer: The winner of the match, Nathanile Tesch!!!!!!!
MI: Nathaniel Tesch is the winner and he has a mic.....
NT: Hello NEW!!!!! I'm back in da house!!!!!!!
(big pop for Tesch)
NT: Ya know, I've been sitting back watching what is going on here in NEW, and I see an old buddy of mine who has
what makes this sport....... I am talking to you Steveo my buddy, I want your NEW Wolrd Heavyweight Title!
(The fans begin to cheer)
NT: Stevie my man, we have been friends for a long time, but my man, I want a shot at the title and I will not go silently
in the night, I will not go down without a fight, I will hound you until I get what I want. I want one shot my man, and
that is all, because as you know, I'm HOT!!!!! Thank you and have a good night!!!!!
MI: That guy, the World Title?????
(Larry is laughing his ass off)
Dutch Daon v. Crush:
("Number One" by Man O War plays as the people are waiting for Dutch HeavyMetal Daon to approach the ring)
MI: What the hell is going on here?!?!?!?!?!?
LN: I am getting a word fromt he back that Dutch Daon is not here tonight...... what is this?!?!?!?!?!?!?
MI: Here comes Crush to the ring.... he is just powerwalking to the ring!!!!! Whgat the hell is going on
here?!?!?!?!?!?!?
LN: I don't know, but Crush is ready to speak.....
Crush: Hey all, I personally saw Dutch cleaning out his locker Tuesday night after the card. He looked pretty digusted,
and he left this note on the floor. It is made out to Ru, I guess he dropped it. It says, "Ru, you win...... I will never step
foot in another ring anywhere to go up against you. You win.". I guess that means that I get a win over Dutch!!!!!!
(Crush is jumping up and down)
MI: Ahhhgh, what a load of crap...... and he is asking the ref to raise his hand........
LN: What the hell?!?!?!?!?!?!?
MI: The ref nailed Crush!!!!! And here comes Wolverine!!!!!!
ref: LLLLLLLLET'S GET READY TO GET EXTREME!!!!
MI: Ahgh, that's Stonecold with a referee's uniform on!!!!! He just took off his sunglasses and whipped his hair
back!!!!!
LN: Wolverine is tearing up on Crush!!!!!!
Wolverine: Crush, you may have gotten lucky tonight with Dutch, and I don't mean in a quickie way, well, not in a
quickie as in a jobout way, but I mean in a not-so-gay way...... Crush, you will not make it past me tonight, because I
am the best damn wrestler in the world, I am the former EXTREME/ Television Champion, and I am going to destroy
you tonight......
LN: You go Wolvie!!!!!! WOOO HOOO!!!!!!!
MI: Man, give me a break...... get that guy out of there, we are ready with more action......
Cowboy v. Bookkeeper:
("Should Have Been a Cowboy" by Toby Keith plays as Cowboy approaches the ring )
LN: Hey man, here comes cowboy...... HEE HAW!!!!!
MI: What a loser....
LN: Hey man, I like this guy...... he's been getting a following as of late! The Southern Society is better than ever
because of him!
MI: I don't know about that..... OH MY GOD.... THE BOOKKEEPER IS JUMPING OUT FROM THE
AUDIENCE WITH A WEBSTER'S DICTIONARY!!!!!!!!!
LN: That's some HEAVY reading!!!!
MI: He nailed Cowboy with the book and now he is dragging cowboy to the ring and out of the back are coning
Steeler and Th' Clint!!!!!
LN: What is going on here?!?!?!?!?!?
MI: They are helping out Cowboy!!!! And here comes Chino!!!! Chino is clearing house behind The Bookkeeper, but
the Bookkeeper took his eyes off of Cowboy.... Cowboy trampled The Bookkeeper!!!! Now Cowboy is taking
Bookkeeper to the ring and things are looking down for The Bookkeeper right now.....
LN: What is going on here?!?!?!?!?!?
MI: the Bookkeeper is backpeddling and HE SENDS COWBOY INTO THE CORNER FACEFIRST!!!!!
LN: Man oh man, I imagine that Cowboy would be better off not chasing after his opponments like that!
MI: The Bookeeper is pulling up Cowboy and buck Master is at ringside!!!!! He is throwing the finger at The
Bookkeeper!!!!!
LN: don't be distracted, come on!!!!!
MI: The bookkeeper is going to BuckMaster now and BUCK THROWS A FOREIGN OBJECT TO
COWBOY!!!!! Cowboy is running toward the ropes with it and...... Bookkeeper moves out of the way!!!!!
LN: Buck Master got flattened by Cowboy with that object!!!!!
MI: FALLING CABINET ON COWBOY BY BOOKKEEPER!!!!! The bookkeeper pins....1...2...3..... The
Bookkeeper wins!!!!!
MI: The Bookkeeper wins, but he is looking bad right now....... Both cowboy and Buck Master are in the ring beating
the tar out of him..... AND CHINO IS RUNNING TO THE RING!!!!!!
LN: (In an elvis tone) The southern society has left the building!!!!
MI: (Immitating Elvis) Thank you very much...... Now Chino and Bookkeeper standing side by side and watching each
other's backs...... Up next is the first title defense of the new United States Heavyweight champion, Ru, a graduate of
the HIWF training facility run by the FOWWW's and our very own Nathaniel Tesch. He will be defending against
RipTide.....
LN: We don't see very much of him......
MI: Oh well, let's get to the ring for more action on Fallout!!!!!!
Ru v. Riptide (United States Title):
("Freak On A leash" by KORN plays as Ru approaches the ring with Crush following him closely)
MI: what is this?!?!?!?!!?
LN: Crush is following Ru!!!!!
MI: Ru sees him and Crush is offering his hand to Ru!!!!!
LN: In marraige?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
(Mike slaps Larry)
MI: No you moron...... he is wanting to be his partner, we have seen it before, it happened this past Monday!!!!!!!!!!!
("Come with Me" by Puff Daddy and Page plays as RipTide approaches the ring)
MI: What is going on here?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? Now Crush is offering his hand to RipTide?!?!?!?!?!? I think ripTide is giving
in......
LN: RipTide nailed Crush!!!!! Now he is being double teamed by Crush and Ru with the United States Title on the
line.... and what is going on here?!?!?!?!?!?!?
MI: Crush has RipTide where he wants him...... CRUSHIN BOMB ON RIPTIDE!!!!! And Ru is setting RipTide
back up.... I think he is fixing to set him up for his finisher right now!!!!!
LN: Who is that coming from under the ring?!?!?!?!?!?!?
MI: It's Dutch Daon!!!! And he has an electrick guitar!!!!!! He nails Crush with ithe guitar!!!!!! And now Ru turns
around and HE GETS THE GUITAR RIGHT IN THE GUT! Ru and Crush are out cold and here comes Scotty
G!!!!!!
LN: Dutch is leaving!!!!!
MI: Yeah, but he left behind a lot of carnage in the ring....... could that have been his plot all night??? Just to get to Ru?
We'll be back with more after this.......
(Advertisement for Cyber Thrill Casinos plays)
MI: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to The Fall edition to NEW Fallout. It was exactly 6 months ago this week
that we made our break from ICW official, but now that we saw the appearances of House of Pain and Sugar Ray
James this Monday, this leads me to believe that NEW will once again fight the ICW to defend it's ideals and
freedom....
LN: Well, this is what I have to say, if they are coming in to cause an upheaval, then they have another thing coming to
them, because they can come in, but they will not check out....
MI: Up next, Buck Master will defend his EXTREME Title agaist his #1 contender, the man known as The
Bookkeeper......
LN: This Bookkeeper guy got a win over Cowboy earlier tonight after buck Master tried to help the guy out.... do you
expect for cowboy to show up and do the same thing for Buck?
MI: I suppose so, let's go back to the ring with more NEW action!!!!
Buck Master v. Bookkeeper (EXTREME Title):
("Exit For A Film" by Radiohead plays as The bookkeeper approaches the ring)
MI: this young up and comer is really getting a lot of attention these days now that he is being guided by NEW star,
Chino......
LN: This kid has come a long way to get to this point. I have a lot of respect for this kid....
("Blind" by KORN plays as Buck Master approaches the ring with the NEW EXTREME Title draped over his
shoulder)
MI: Now you want to talk about guys who have gone a long way, this guy you should take a look at......
LN: I remember this kid used to get thrown from pillar to post when he was concentrating solle on getting into alpha
Storm, but now that this man has been in the ring a few times and taken his lessons at the school of hard knocks, this
guy has become one of NEW's brightest stars in only a few months!
MI: There is not enough you can say about either of these two competitors, they took it as it came in the ring and they
are seeing thier rewards for thier hard work right now in the ring. Did you ever think you would see Buck Master with
an NEW title?
LN: Maybe on a milk carton.....
(bell rings)
MI: The bell rang and the two are in each others face from the start.......
LN: You gotta remember, Buck Master came out and tried to get Bookkeeper to lose earlier tonight against
Cowboy.....
MI: The Bookkeeper spat in Buck Master's face!!!!!
LN: Buck spears Bookkeeper!!!!! Now Buck is pummeling Bookkeeper through the mat!
MI: Buck is looking good right now, and Bookie is having a rough start..... buck is pulling Bookie up and he's giving
him some hard knees to the groin..... Buck is now pullin Bookie over and GUTWRENCH SUPLEX!!!!!
LN: Buck is trying to get Bookie back up, but now Bookie pulls Buck into the corner, Bookie behind Buck now and
GERMAN SUPLEX ON BUCK MASTER BY BOOKKEEPER!!!!!
MI: Buck is down and Bookie is trying to pull him back up but..... EYEJAB!!!!! BUCK JUST JABBED HIS
THUMB INTO BOOKIE'S EYE!!!!
LN: And who is that coming down the isle????
MI: It's Cowboy!!!! He has a chair!!!! Cowboy is powerwalking to the ring with that chair in hand, and buck is
doubling Bookie over right now and IT'S A VERSION OF A BACKBREAKER SUBMISSION!!!!! HE COULD
DROP BOOKKEEPER INTO A POWERBOMB RIGHT NOW!!!!!
LN: Cowboy is on the apron with the chair..... he is tossing it into the ring!!!!!
MI: Buck Master releases the hold AND BOOKKEEPER WENT THROUGH THE CHAIR!!!!! He's gonna feel
that in the morning!!!!!!
LN: Cowboy is still on the apron and he is signaling buck to pull Bookkeeper up and now Bookie is up........ buck
whips Bookie to the ropes and BOOKIE REVERSES AND SENDS BUCK INTO COWBOY!!!!!
MI: Cowboy gets nailed by Buck!!!!!!! Bookie rolls Buck Master up...1....2.....kick out in the nick of time!!!!!
LN: What is that?!?!?!?!?!?!? Steeler is coming out of the crowd with a water cooler holder full of water
containers!!!!!
MI: Bookie is pulling Buck up and STEELER NAILS BOOKEEPER WITH THE CRATE!!!!!!!!
LN: the ref is trying to get Steeler to leave the ring, Buck is up and he pulls bookie back up..... BUCKBOMB ON
THE BOOKKEEPER!!!!!!!
MI: Cowboy is coming back to and he is getting back on the apron...... Now what is this?!?!?!?!?!? Buck Master is
coming over to check on Cowboy and Cowboy shoves Buck!!!!! Bookkeeper rolls Buck up...1...2.... Steeler breaks
the count!!!!!!!
(bell rings)
MI: What the hell is going on here?!?!?!?!?!?
LN: Buck Master has been disqualified!!!!! Cowboy is in the ring and all hell has broken loose!!!!!! Steeler is trying to
hold the two back, I don't know what to make of this!!!!!
MI: Neither do I, but from what I hear, Stunnin Steve and Scotty G aqre going to have some special surprise
opponments for tonight! They will be defending against thier top contenders for the EXTREME TEAM Titles, but up
next is a match for our world Tag Team Titles, so let's go back to the ring now that The Society has been escorted
away from the ring......
Menace 2 Society v. Ares & EnFuego (World Tag Team Titles):
("Firestarter" by Prodigy plays as NEW President Dan Ashe and Hatchetman lead Enfuego and Ares to the ring
approach the ring)
MI: What is this?!?!?!?!?!?!? Mohammed Abdul just flew from the balcony above The Alpha Army and flattened The
President and Hatchetman!!!! And here comes Kamal with a trash can!!!! He just took out Ares and Abdul is brawling
with Fuego!!!! It is turning into a peer 6 brawl!!!!
LN: Watch out, M2S is from the streets of Compton, they might pull out a 49 and bust a cap on yo ass!
MI: Man, you suck as a gangsta, maybe you have been around Sauce and Terrel Payne too long....
LN: Don't go there..... (under his breath) those white boy wannabes....
MI: Now Kamal and Fuego are going into the crowd!!!!!! Kamal flips Fuego into the crowd and they are really
starting to mosh both men!!!!!
LN: This is starting to look more like a riot than a World Tag Team Title Match! The crowd is starting to beat up on
Fuego and Kamal!!!!! What is going on here?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? This is out of control!
MI: This is NEw at it's best! Ares and Abdul are going to the ring and now i just heard a crash!!!!! What was
that?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? FUEGO GOT FLATTENED IN THE CROWD WITH A FIREEXTINGUISHER BY
KAMAL!!!!!!
LN: Hardcore at it's finest!
MI: right now Ares is at the mercy of Abdul, but ARES WITH A LOWBLOW ON ABDUL!!!!! Kamal is on his way
to the ring ans HATCHETMAN LEVELS HIM WITH A BASEBALL BAT!!!!!
LN: It's a home run for Hatchetman!!!!!
MI: Ares is on the top rope and he flys off and HE NAILS ABDUL RIGHT IN THE CHEST WITH A FLYING
SWANDIVE!!!!!! Ares is doubling him over into the........ CRIPPLER CROSSFACE!!!!! IT'S SINCHED AND
ABDUL IS PASSED OUT!!!!!!
(bell rings)
MI: Ares and Fuego wins the Tag Titles in the most hardcore match in NEW history!!!!!!
LN: I can't believe it!!!!!! Kamal, fuego and The President are being carted off by the paramedics and Ares is
celebrating with Hatchetman on the victory of the Tag Team Championships of the world!!!!!!!!
MI: What a match!!!!!!!!
MI: I am being told that we need to go to the locker rooms right now with Ru and Crush right now!!!!!
LN: What is going on here?!?!?!?!?!?!?
(the camera flashes to the locker room area where Ru and Crush are talking and a man sneaks up from behind and
slams a trash can into the bacdk of Crush and Ru turns to the man with the can)
MI: what in the world? Crush was just flattened by the can in that man's hand and SOMEONE JUST NAILED RU
FROM BEHIND!!!!!
LN: The man with the can is unmasking and, IT'S DR. MAXWELL!!!!!
MI: And that was "The Franchise" Kyle Polo who just flattened Ru! They need medical attention immediately!!!!!!!
Wolverine v. Crush (Television Title):
(the camera flashes back to the arena where "Hurt" by NIN is playing on the PA Systeme with Stonecold approaching
the ring with Wolverine beside him)
Stonecold: Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, chilren of all ages!!!!!! the NEW is proudly bringing to you at this
time, the uncrowned, undisputed, NEW Television Champion of the World......... the baddest son of a bitch, the
hardest cored, the one and only true rolemodel of the NEW....... the one and the only......... WOLVERINE!!!!!!!!!
MI: These guys are full of themselves aren't they?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
LN: I love these guys!!!!!!
MI: You would...... what is going on here?!?!?!?!?!?!? Stunnin Steve just ran from the back adn he has a chair!!!!!!
He slams it into Stonecold and Wolvie turns around..... IT'S A STUNNER ON WOLVERINE!!!!!!!
LN: That bastard!!!!!!
MI: Steve is dragging Wolvie to the ring right now and what is this??????
("Untouchable Face" by Anna Defranco plays as Crush approaches the ring)
MI: Crush is on his way to the ring to defend the TV Title, but Stunnin Steve has Wolvie laid out flat in the middle of
the ring.....
LN: Crush is in the ring and STEVE CATCHES CRUSH THROUGH THE ROPES WITH A STUNNER!!!!!!
MI: What is this? Steve has a mic.....
SS: Ladies and gentlemen, the ICON has something to say........ this piece of trash in the ring, called Wolvie is not what
you think he is. Do you want to know why he left McGehee as a child? He is my long lost little brother...... he ran away
to escape the abuse of our household and changed his name, didn't you wolvie? You left me in McGehee to grow up
under the torture of the life style that would be. Wolvie, it is time that your big bro teaches you about pain..... this
Friday on fire, I will make you feel the fire man. I will beat you up in a good old fashioned McGehee high School brawl
in front of our home town!!!!!! See ya Friday brother.....
MI: Well, Stunnin Steve just dropped the mic on Wolvie's chest and now Stonecold has come back to and he is
crawling over to Wolvie.....
Stonecold: Is there a doctor in the house?!?!?!?!?
MI: This is awful, the paramedics are in the ring and Stonecold is trying CPR on Wolvie........ this looks bad.....
LN: Just a moment.....
MI: Well, Larry just left the broadcast area and the paramedics are getting out a gourney for wolvie......
LN: (now at ringside) Hey wait a minute!!!!
paramedic: What????
LN: Let me have a crack at it!!!!!
MI: This is amazing!!!! Larry is in the ring and he's is clearing everyone away from wolvie..... HE'S GOING TO TRY
MOUTH TO MOUTH AND WOLVIE BLOCKS LARRY!!!!!
LN: Don't force it kid......
MI: Wolvie is back up and he just put Larry in the DVD!!!! He grabs the paramedic....... DVD ON THE
PARAMEDIC!!!!!! And what is this?!?!?!?!?!?!? Stonecold just threw the dfriver out of the ambulance and Wolverine
is hopping in the passanger's seat!!!!! They are taking off in the ambulance!!!!!! What a turn of events!!!!!! We'll be
right back folks......
(advertisement for Viagra, sponsored by JJ Hart, plays...... yeah, it even worked for him!!!)
MI: Welcome back fans, and just a moment ago we saw Larry and some paramedics get taken out with a DAS at the
hands of Wolverine! They were taken to the back by a few trainers during the commercial break, so i guess that about
wraps it up on.......
("Voodoo Child" by Jimi Hendrix plays as Stunnin Steve and Scotty G approach the ring)
MI: Well, here come the EXTREME Team as Steve likes to call them or the "unholy alliance" as Scotty G calls them....
either way, they are the EXTREME Team Champions and it looks to me as if Stunnin Steve and Scotty each have a
mic.....
SS: Hey..... cut the music!!!!!!
(the music stops)
SS: Well, since we won these straps in a match with ares and Enfuego, everyone has been scared to take us on.....
EVERYONE is scared of us.... we took out Ares, Fuego AND Hatchetman in record time and hell, we even took out
the good ol Prez himself!!!!! I don't think that there is anyone else!!!!!
SG: Steve, I wouldn't say that my man.....
SS: Wha????
SG: I found us soome top contenders for tonight!!!!!!
SS: Ya did?????
SG: Yeah man, and I would like to bring them out right now my good buddy! Hit the music!!!!!!
("Highway to Hell" by AC/DC plays as House of Pain (?) and Sugar Ray James (?) approach the ring)
SS: Oh no...... you shouldn't have!!!!!!!
SG: Merry Christmas!!!!!!!
MI: Oh my god that's House of Pain and........ wait a minute!!!!!!! Why are Steve and Scotty laughing?!?!?!?!?!?!?
SS: Bring em on man!!!!!
MI: That's not HoP and Sugar Ray, that's Reno and Rude of The Turks!!!!!!
SS: Get your asses in the ring and we'll take you out!!!!!!!
(bell rings)
Stunnin Steve & Scotty G v. Reno and Rude dressed as Sugar Ray James and House of Pain:
MI: Well, the match is underway and......
SG: Take em out Steve!!!!!! Ahgh, Steve with a nice clothesline on Ray..... and OOOHHHH, that kick to HoP's groin
had to have hurt......
MI: What the hell? they are providinhg thier own commentary!!!!!!
SG: Tag me!!!! Tag me!!!!!!
MI: Steve tags in Scotty, and Scotty is taking the mic and.......
SS: HE'S CHOKING HOP WITH THE MIC!!!!! I can't believe this man!!!!! Scotty is just standing there now doing
some crotch chops at HoP and SRJ!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
MI: And now Scotty is calling Steve back in and Scotty is taking, I guess that's Reno, to the top rope!!!!!!! now
Stunnin Steve has Reno's neck sinched and IT'S A STUNNER OFF THE TOP ROPE!!!!!! And Scotty G has Rude
in a Buzzkiller!!!!!! Stunnin Steve is putting his foot on Reno's chest!!!!!!
(bell rings)
SS: that shows you not to screw with the ICON and the real sickest son of a bitch in the world....... the unholy one's,
your EXTREME Team Champions of the world!!!!!!!!!!!!
SG: See you later losers!
MI: I can't believe this!!!!! For NEW, Larry Nabisco, this is Mike Ixnay signing off!!!!!
(cut to copyright)