(The screen fades in to some advertisement against theft of cable and Pay Per View, when all of a sudden, the ad explodes to a video footage feed featuring such top superstars as Grendel, Stunnin Steve, Pimp Daddy Cain, Wolverine, Matt Foster, RipTide, tiny, Bowen Danes, and Jason Wylde. The camera then explodes to an arena, filled to the rafters with wild fans screaming at the top of thier lungs with the NEW Year's Eve Theme blaring over the PA as the camera pans over to Mike Ixnay and Larry Nabisco at the broadcast booth.)
Mike Ixnay: Ladies and gentlemen,. welcome to NEW Year's Eve, live and only on Pay Per View!!! Tonight, we will see Stunnin Steve in action against Bowen Danes in the much anticipated final ICW world Title Match with Sugar Ray James as the special guest referee.
Larry Nabisco: So much controversy has surrounded this match for the past few weeks! Crimson Black has helped The Powers put Stunnin Steve in the looney bin. Stevbe has left a trail of bodes leading to this match, Ray and Danes have been taunting Steve leading up to tonight. What a night it is going to be!
Mike Ixnay: I would like to introduce to you at this time, our special guest commentator for tonight, the new governor of Minnesota, Jesse "The Body" Ventura!!!
(The crowd pops as "Hail to The Chief" blares over the PA as Jesse goes over to the broadcast area and sits next to Mike and Larry.)
Mike Ixnay: A big welcome for this man, the wrestling ledgend, former broadcast journalist for WCW and the WWF, the one and only Jesse Ventura. How's it going Jess?
Jesse Ventura: Well, it's been a while since I've been at this position for a wrestling show, so I'm really excited about tonight! Ru v. "Sweetness" Stevie Love for the World Title, Jason Wylde v. RipTide, and student v.teacher I guess you would say in Pimp Daddy Cain v. Matt Foster! What a night it is going to be!!!
Mike Ixnay: I hear that Scheme Gene is standing by in the back with tiny, who is awaiting the arrivals of his opponments for this opening bout. Gene?

(The camera goes to the back where tiny is sitting in a lazyboy recliner in his private locker room. The springs are popping out of the cushion and tiny is sitting eating twinkies, laughing aws he is watching the end of "Time Bandits", a Monty Python classic. Gene is standing by.)
Scheme Gene: Mike, Larry, Jess, we are standing back here with the newly returned superstar, tiny, who is apparently watching a movie. tiny, I have noticed that since your return to the NEW, you have gained about 15 pounds, what is the deal? Mr. Reaves DOES have a rule in the NEW about weight control and you may need to lose some weight if you happen to ge tthrough tonight!
tiny: Gene, when I first came to the NEW, I was the hottest newcomer to the sport, and probably the most under rated wrestler of all time. I was in a lot of battle royals that should have ended with me winning, but I always came in on the short end of the stick. No one is going to throw me out of the ring tonight, because I am the biggest, baddest motha in the ring today! Now can you dig it?
Scheme Gene: I don't doubt that you are the biggest man in the ring today for your size, but you could be holding up cue cards again in the hospitl with a stroke on it's way if you don't watch it!
tiny: Gene, I told you and everyone else a few weeks ago that I was going to have gold around my waist VERY soon. I am not going to go back on my word. Sweeny, I will beat you later tonight to become the new NEW United States Champion no matter what it takes! Nobody is gonna throw me out tonight, and Sweeny, when I meet you in the ring, you better be ready for the Urban Bombshell to be dropped on your ass!
Scheme Gene: Back to you Larry, Mike and Jess!

Battleroyal - Winner gets a shot at the States Title later in the night:
(The camera goes back to the arena where "Exit for a Film" by Radiohead plays on the PA System as The Bookkeeper comes out.)
Mike Ixnay: Here comes the former Television champion, The Bookkeeper. We haven't seen much of him in the past few weeks guys, but this should be a good match.
Jesse Ventura: Well, the smart money is on tiny tonight in my opinion. He doesn't win the jesse "The Body" Award, but I don't see anyone putting him over the top rope to win this one...
Mike Ixnay: Maybe so, but here we go with the second man for this battleroyal...
(The fans erupt as "Intergallactic" by The Beastie Boys plays over the PA astiny ap[proaches the ring with a sack of doughnuts and a tub of ICe Cream.)
Mike Ixnay: What the hell???
Larry Nabisco: Looks like he is ready for war!!! Or desert...
Jesse Ventura: He's playing a smart move, if they can't lift him, he can't lose tonight!
Mike Ixnay: Yeah, but he's gonna have some serious diarreah tonight after the match...
(bell rings)
Mike Ixnay: tiny put the ice cream down and The Bookkeeper is running toward him... TINY BLOCKS THE CLOTHESLINE AND SENDS THE BOOKKEEPER TO THE MAT!!!
Larry Nabisco: Damn, that had to have hurt!
Jesse Ventura: Even if it didn't, The Bookkeeper is doing an awesome sell job!
Mike Ixnay: tiny pulls up Bookkeeper and he sends him to the corner... TINY WITH A RUNNING SPLASH INTO THE CORNER AND BOOKEEPER IS FLATTENED LIKE A PANCAKE!!! I've NEVER seen The Bookkeeper take a beating like this before!!!
Jesse Ventura: He looks like an ant in the ring with a cockroach in there!!! tiny is just flattening Bookkeeper in the corner and tiny pulls him out of the corner... BODYSLAM IN THE MIDDLE OF THE RING BY TINY!!!
Larry Nabisco: I'd take a rain check if I were him, because tiny is running off the ropes...
Mike Ixnay: BIG SPLASH ON BOOKKEEPER BY TINY!!! AND HERE COMES PSYCHOTICA WITH A CHAIR!!!
Larry Nabisco: Maybe this will help...
Jesse Ventura: I seriously doubt it, this man is so full of mass and meat, he might just absorb the blow!
Mike Ixnay: Psychotica is in the ring, he's reeling back and HE SMACKS TINY UP AGAINST THE BACK WITH FULL FORCE!!!
Larry Nabisco: And he's still standing!!!
Jesse Ventura: Holy macrol!!!
Mike Ixnay: I've NEVER seen anyone take a chair shot like that!!! tiny turns around and HE'S CHOKING PSHYCHOTICA!!! tiny shoves Psychotica and sends him out of the ring!!!
Larry Nabisco: My god!!!
Jesse Ventura: I've never...
Mike Ixnay: Sweet Jesus!!! The bookkeeper is staggering out of the corner and he sees the chair... he grabs the chair and tiny turns backa round... HE NAILS TINY IN THE HEAD WITH THE CHAIR, BUT TINY SHAKES IT OFF!!!
Jesse Ventura: I don't think that's gonna cut it!!!
Larry Nabisco: This guy could seriously beat Sweeny tonight if he gets his hands on him!!!
Mike Ixnay: You're telling me!!! tiny grabs Bookkeeper and whips him to the ropes... tiny misses the clothesline... BOOKKEEPER WITH A SUNSET FLIP!!!
Jesse Ventura: tiny is just lifting him back off the ground from between his legs!!! tiny is unstoppabole tonight!!!
Mike Ixnay: HERE'S STEVEN SLASH!!!!
Larry Nabisco: He's running up behind tiny with a running axehandle!!!
Mike Ixnay: tiny drops Bookkeeper and now Bookkeeper and Slash are both trying to lift tiny's left leg up over the top rope!!!
Jesse Ventura: HARLEM SIDE KICK BY TINY ON SLASH!!! tiny sends Bookkeeper out of the ring with a hiptoss and now he is going for Slash... pick up by tiny and HE SENDS SLASH OVER THE TOP ROPE!!! TINY WINS!!!
Micheal Buttbuffer: The winner of the match, tiny!!!

Mike Ixnay: I have never seen anything like it!!! This is his most impressive win to date in my books.
Jesse Ventura: I've never seen anyone look more dominant than tiny.
Mike Ixnay: I am being told that our next match will be for the NEW World Heavyweight Title...
Larry Nabisco: WHAT?!?!?
Jesse Ventura: Since when does a World Heavyweight Title match come second on a 6 match card?
Mike Ixnay: Don't ask me, I'm not the booker... let's go to the ring with more action!!!

Ru v. Sweetness Stevie Love (World Heavyweight Title):
("The American Nightmare" plays as "Sweetness" Stevie Love approaches the ring to a chorus of cheers.)
Mike Ixnay: Here he is, the man that won WarGames at NEW/FoWWW Capital Punishment almost two months ago, Stevie Love.
Jesse Ventura: How did he get a title shot though for this important Pay Per View?
Mike Ixnay: He won the WarGames Match.
Larry Nabisco: So?!?!?
Mike Ixnay: Let's go to the ring... you are both impossible ya know???
Larry & Jess: Thanx!
("Got The Life" by KORn plays as Ru approaches the ring.)
Mike Ixnay: Here he is, the winner of the Lord of the Rings Tournament from December, and the World Heavyweight Champion, Ru.
Larry Nabisco: Why is that the past few Lord of the ring winners and the majority of the past World Title holders seemingly drop off the face of the earth after they get the big win?
Mike Ixnay: I have no idea, but...
(bell rings)
Mike Ixnay: We're underway with our second match, and they start with a collar elbow tie-up in the middle of the ring... Love is pushing Ru to the corner and rake to the eye on Ru!!! Love with an elbow jab to Ru and Love rakes Ru's face across the ropes!!! Love smashes Ru's head into the cornerpost and why are fans chanting that???
crowd: BORING!!! BORING!!!
Jesse Ventura: Well, we ARE in Philadelphia right now aren't we???
Mike Ixnay: Actually, we are in the hardcore redneck contry of Monticello, Arkansas at the Armory... Jesse Ventura: Ah!!!
Mike Ixnay: I've seen FiteNite's more hardcore than this, what is going on here???
Jesse Ventura: I don't know, but Love slams Ru in the middle of the ring and he is putting him in a figure four.... and the fans are not liking this...
Mike Ixnay: Love may be a well known star in Canada, but no one knows him here in Monticello, or anywhere else for that matter, and RU WITH A JAB TO THE JAW OF STEVIE LOVE!!! Ru is out of the figure fourn and he is pulling up Love... Ru with a punch, BUT LOVE BLOCKS IT!!! Love is pushing Ru back to the corner with jabs and hooks and now they are in the neutral corner. Love with a whip, and Ru reverses... Ru sends Love to the corner and roll up...1....2... kickout!!!
Jesse Ventura: And the fans are getting more restless... A fan is trying to jump the rails, but the security team is holding him back!!!
Larry Nabisco: I think that tradition IS dead!!! Scotty might now have been kidding!!!
Mike Ixnay: Love with a clothesline on Ru and he's pulling him back up now and he bodyslams him in the middle of the ring. Love is going to the top rope now, what is this??? He's giving the signal and HERE COMES GRENDEL!!!
Jesse Ventura: The fans are on their feet chanting, "Grendel!!! Grendel!!!" and Grendel shoves Love off the top rope!!!
(bell rings)
Mike Ixnay: Grendel is in the ring and he is pulling Ru back up and he's going for... CHOKESLAM ON RU!!! THE PLACE HAS ERUPTED WITH A BIG POP FOR GRENDEL!!!
Larry Nabisco: Love is back up and he is going for an axehandle to Grendel, but Grendel kicks Love in the gut... GRENDEL WITH A POWERBOMB ON STEVIE LOVE!!! Jesse Ventura: The ref is trying to get Grendel out of the ring, but Grendel sends him out of the ring!!! Mike Ixnay: Grendel is calling for a mic...
GRENDEL: I have sat back for the past little while and watched this whole thing with Stunnin Steve go completely out of control. Steve, you are a damn psycho, and that's the bottom line!!!
(Big heel pop for Grendel.)
GRENDEL: Ru, you say you have not had a REAL challenge since you got the belt, well here it is... I am here to take the Power back!!!
(The fans begin to chant, "GRENDEL!!! GRENDEL!!!")
GRENDEL: I have sat idley by and watched the system screw me over for too long now, and it is time for me to call something to order... I want MY World Heavyweight championship back, and it will be back in my possession by the end of the month, you can mark my words on it!!!
(The fans go wild for The Man Called Grendel.)
GRENDEL: Ru, Steve, and anyone else that is in my way... I am taking the power back... MY way!!! Steve, you want it hardcore, we'll play your little "Hell On Earth" game if you want, but let's make it interesting... how about you and me in a straight jacket match???
(The fans begin to chant, "Looney Bin!!! Looney Bin!!!")
GRENDEL: One ladder, a straight jacket suspended high above the ring. You and me... what do ya say??? Let's play Stevie!!! Ru, as for you... hw about you and me??? One on one... this Monday, and if you have the guts Love... you and me after I am finished with you Ru.
(GRENDEL throws the mic down as "More Human Than The Human" by White Zombie blares over the PA.)
Mike Ixnay: Oh my!!! GRENDEL with an open challenge to Ru, Stevie Love, and Stunnin Steve!!! The former champ has made his intentions VERY clear... he wants to be the World Champ again, and we'll be right back after this short time out...
(Ad for a three day cruise with the superstars of the NEW for the one year anniversarry plays for the weekend of Feb. 12-14.)
Mike Ixnay: Ladies and gentlemen, we're back and as we have seen over the past few weeks, this newcomer, this clean cut youngster, Matt Foster has blazed an impressive trail of unblemished wins through his short career thus far, but tonight is his toughest challenge as he not only faces a REALLY hardcore crowd, but a way larger, way more experienced former champion in Pimp Daddy Cain. Standing by is Scheme Gene with Matt Foster as he prepares for his toughest encounter as of late. Gene?

(The camera pans out to the back, just behind the runway, where Gene stands by with rookie sensation, Matt Foster.)
Scheme Gene: We're here backstage with Matt Foster as he prepares to meet Pimp Daddy Cain tonight in an anything goes match! How are you holding up, Matt?
Matt Foster: Not bad, not bad at all. You know, I thought that PDC was somebody I could learn from, but it looks like he's going to learn from me. You see, I'm just a rookie in this business, but there's a lot I can do. Sure, I've made a few mistakes, but that doesn't mean I'm not going to try, try again. If PDC doesn't want to give back the respect that I am showing him, then I'll just have to drag it out of him...the hard way.
Scheme Gene: That doesn't sound like the clean cut young man we've gotten to know from Cleveland, Ohio! What would Mother Foster say?
Matt Foster: Well, I just got off the phone with her before you came in, Gene, and she told me what she always tells me...to do my best, to aim for the skies, and to never look back. And PDC, when you look back on tonight's match years from now, you're going to realize..."Damn...I should have never messed with Matt Foster."
Scheme Gene: Wow!!! Back to you Mike, Larry, and Jess...

Matt Foster v. Pimp Daddy Cain:
(The camera cuts back to the arena where "Bittersweet Symphony" by The Verve plays as Matt Foster approaches the ring.)
Mike Ixnay: Man, I can't believe what I just heard come from his mouth!!! What do you think guys?
Jesse Ventura: Until he proves himself in the ring, I think he is just another young rook trying to get a piece of the experienced Pimp Daddy Cain's spotlight.
Larry Nabisco: couldn't have said it better myself...
("Enter Sandman" by Metallica plays as Pimp Daddy Cain comes out of the runway with a singapore cane, a six-pack of cans of Lipton Brisk Tea, and a couple of candy cigarettes in his mouth. PDC is wearing baggy pants, a dirty white t-shirt, and ragged shoes.)
Mike Ixnay: Oh my god...
Larry Nabisco: I've seen EVERYTHING now...
Mike Ixnay: The master of immitation has done it again... the cheapest ripoff I have EVER seen of Sandman...
Larry Nabisco: In a family oriented way...
Mike Ixnay: The candy cigarettes, and HE'S SPEWING THE TEA AT THE AUDIENCE, AND THE FANS ARE GOING WILD!!!
Larry Nabisco: Notice... no ho's with him tonight. He's not EVEN going to make a peace offering tonight. He's here to kick ass NEW style!!!
Mike Ixnay: The fans are already heckling Foster with that chant...
crowd: "You're not hardcore!!! You're not hardcore!!!"
(bell rings)
Mike Ixnay: The bell has rung, PDC swings the cane and FOSTER WITH A DROPKICK TO PDC!!! PDC dropped the cane. Foster picks it up and FOSTER IS BEATING PDC WITH THE CANE!!!
Larry Nabisco: Not hardcore???
Jesse ventura: Foster is choking out PDC with the cane now and PDC with a back kick to Foster. What a wake up call Foster just got!!!
Mike Ixnay: I'll say... PDC sends Foster to the turnbuckles and the fans are going wild!!! PDC smashes Foster's head into the buckles, the fans are counting the smashes...1....2...3....4....5....6...7....8....9.......10!!!!! Foster is dazed and PDC with a jump to the ropes and SPRINGBOARD MOONSAULT ONTO FOSTER BY PDC!!! PDC is pulling foster up and he lifts him up... SHOULDERBREAKER ON MATT FOSTER BY PDC!!!
Larry Nabisco: What hardcore action!!!
Jesse Ventura: I'll say... I'm glad I retired when I did...
Mike Ixnay: PDC sends Foster to the outside and PDC goes to the top rope... SUICIDE DIVE BY PDC, BUT FOSTER DUCKS!!!
Larry Nabisco: Smart kid...
Jesse Ventura: Foster is climbing up to the apron and he's watching for PDC... SPRINGBOARD MOONSAULT ONTO PDC BY FOSTER!!! And Foster is going for a chair!!!
Mike Ixnay: Foster is setting it up ont eh outside and the fans continue to heckle him... Foster is setting PDC across from the chair and... SLINGSHOT SUPLEX OFF THE GUARDRAILS AND ON THE CHAIR BY FOSTER!!!
Larry Nabisco: What a match so far!!! I can't believe some of the stuff Foster is doing!!!
Jesse Ventura: Neither can I!!!
Mike Ixnay: Foster is pulling up PDC and he's following up with a set of European uppercuts. Foster is forcing PDC to the guardrails and he backs up... attempted splash on PDC but... PDC moves out of the way!!!
Jesse Ventura: PDC sends Foster into the ring and now he is going to the top rope.
Mike Ixnay: Foster is back up and he runs into the buckles!!! PDC falls down!!! Foster is climbing to the top now and... ARABIAN FACEBUSTER OFF THE TOP ROPE ONTO THE OUTSIDE!!!
Larry Nabisco: Did he lose his balance???
Jesse Ventura: I think so...
Mike Ixnay: Foster and PDC are both out on the outside and the fans are chanting, "We want more!!! We want more!!!". The fans are absolutely going wild out here tonight!!!
Jesse Ventura: What a totally unexpected turn of events here tonight.
Mike Ixnay: PDC is getting back up now and he is going for a fallen Foster on the outside. PDC rolls Foster back into the ring and follows him back into the ring. PDC with a pull up and a scoopslam!!! PDC is going for the Pimp Drop right now!!!
Larry Nabisco: PDC is on the middle turnbuckle and FOSTER MOVES OUT OF THE WAY!!!
Mike Ixnay: Foster is pulling PDC to the top rope and IT'S A SUPER FISHERMANBUSTER OFF THE TOP ROPE!!! Matt pins...1.....2......3...... Matt Foster wins!!!
Micheal Buttbuffer: The winner of the match, Matt Foster!!!!
Mike Ixnay: Listen to the fans!!!
crowd: He's hardcore!!! He's hardcore!!!
Mike Ixnay: I think the fans got thier money's worth tonight...
Larry Nabisco: The fans are all giving Foster high-fives, showing thier appreciation for this young superstar as PDC stands shocked as he just got back up from that super fisherman buster!!!
Mike Ixnay: What a match... up next is the official announcement for the CruiserWeight division for the first four qualifiers for the tournament and then the United States Title Match as tiny will face Dan Sweeny for the title. So without further adue, let's go to Schem Gene for this announcement from the one and only Mr. Reaves. Take it away Gene!!!

(Camera pans to the runway where Gene is standing by with Mr. Reaves.)
Scheme Gene: Ladies and gentlemen, I am standing here right now with the Owner and CEO of the NEW, Mr. Reaves, who has an announcement to make aobut the CruiserWeight Title that will be up for grabs in the VERY near future. Mr. Reaves???
Mr. Reaves: Thank you Gene... We will soon have a 8 man tourney for this title, the CruiserWeight Title and it will be decided on at the one year anniversarry, the same night that we will induct the first 8 men to our hall of fame. the finals will be held that night and as you know, I always draw the names from a hat, but the first four names have been released for the drawing... they are as follows:
(The crowd fall silent.)
MR: The former Television and Extreme Champion, and current "Too Extreme For Television" Title holder, Jason Wylde!!!
(The fans go wild.)
MR: Rookie sensation, Matt Foster!!!
(The fans go wild again.)
MR: Former Extreme Champion, RipTide!!!
(Some fans booing and some cheering.)
MR: And the former Extreme, Television, and Stable Champ, Wolverine!!!
(The fans begin to chant, "Wolvie!!! Wolvie!!!")
MR: Six more names will be released Friday night as we will have the OFFICIAL drawing and bracketing NEXT Friday Night.
Scheme Gene: I think i speak for everyohne when I say that this title has been LONG over due... I thank you Mr...
(All of a sudden, Ares appears at the runway and interrupts.)
Ares: How can you hgave a CruiserWeight division without the FIRST Television Champion and the GREATEST CruiserWeight/JuniorWeight of all time, Ares in the ring??? Huh??? How Steve-o???
(The fans give Ares a big pop.)
Scheme Gene: I would like to welcome to the set, the former Television, Extreme, Stable and World Tag Team Champion of the World... Ares!!!
(The fans give Ares a big ovation.)
MR: Ares, I have not heard from you in over three months, your contract has since expired, and the guys that got you into the business, EnFuego and Dan Ashe, has since retired. I just think that your time has come and gone...
Ares: Steve-o, are you trying to call me... OLD, chaps? I am still young enough to whip ass with the best. C'mon... gimme Wolvie again!!! We can go back to barbed wre city a few times!!! Gimme this rookie whippersnapper guy, Foster, or even The Green Dragon. He's coming back isn't he? Steve, I am the BEST damn CruiserWeight and the BEST damn wrestler in the business today! I beat your so called, TROPHY, Stunnin Steve, I beat Wolvie!!! C'mon!!! I gotta play, and play in my old hood with the boys again! It's an open challenge! Anyone in the NEW that has it in them to challenge the best CW in the World... don't sing it... BRING IT!!! you have just been graced with the presence of the modern day ICON of the NEW and the FoWWW, ARES!!!
(Ares walks to the back with the fans screamingh at th top of thier lungs.)
Scheme Gene: Looks like the CruiserWeight division is heating up!!! Back to you Mike, Larry and Jess!!!

Dan Sweeny v. tiny (United States Title):
(The camera pans back over to the broadcast booth as "Intergallactic" by The Beastie Boys plays n the PA.)
Mike Ixnay: Thank you Gene. And I think that the CruiserWeight division IS heating up with the apparent return of Ares, and the comings of some of the new talent. As we see, tiny is on his way to the ring and he looks like he is primed for tonight's fight.
Larry Nabisco: tiny is dressed up in his street gear and has that game face on that I haven't seen in a while. he may win tonight!
Jesse Ventura: I watched this young lad when he first started in the NEW. He was a cleabn cut young man with a lot of raw power and a lot of talent. His talent never got used to it's fullest extent, and I think that tonight he may actually go all the way.
Larry Nabisco: (under his breath) All the way to the fat farm...
(Both Ventura and Ixnay slap Larry in the back of the head.)
("S~E~X~X~Y" by They Might Be Giants plays on the PA as Dan Sweeny approaches the ring with the United States Title draped over his shoulder.)
Mike Ixnay: Here he comes, the man that has been talking a lot of smack to the CEO as of late about the US Title situation, but not showing us much in the ring.
Jesse Ventura: I don't know, smack can get you over these days, but the ring action is what keeps you in shape. tiny is a little "over" with the twinkies and the Ding Dongs right now, but... Mike Ixnay: I know, tough call... (bell rings)
Mike Ixnay: The bell has sounded and Sweeny is trying to go power for power in the early part of this bout with tiny. He is goig for a test of strength and tiny is powering him to the ground!!!
Jesse Ventura: tiny is built like and Ox and about as stubborn as a mule, I doubt you can go toe to toe with this guy unless you have the jaws of life on hand...
Mike Ixnay: Sweeny is pulling up and full arm drag and twist by Sweeny and he kicks tiny in the chin, but it does nothing!!! Sweeny is trying to whip tiny to the ropes, but he will not budge!!! What gives???
Larry Nabisco: Maybe tiny has forgotten about "the sell"???
Jesse Ventura: tiny is a big big man, I don't know how Sweeny plans on trying to get him down at this rate...
Mike Ixnay: Sweeny is trying to con the ref now and tiny runs for Sweeny!!! tiny with a splash to Sweeny sends him to the corner and tiny is chopping at Sweeny in the corner. Sweeny's chest is turning red and the ref is trying to pull tiny off of Sweeny.
Larry Nabisco: Sweeny is coughing for air and tiny is running toward the turnbuckels again, and Sweeny moves out of the way!!!
Jesse Ventura: Sweeny is working over tiny now with kicks to the midsection. Sweeny is chopping at tiny in the corner and now he is going for a cross corner whip. Sweeny sends him to the other side and TINY RAISES HIS FOOT AS SWEENY RUNS TOWARD HIM!!!
Mike Ixnay: Sweeny is stumbling from that superkick out of the corner by tiny, and tiny lifts up Sweeny for the POWERSLAM ON SWEENY!!! The ref is checking Sweeny now ansd tiny is pulling him back up... SWEENY WITH A JAW BREAKER AND TINY IS BACKING OFF INTO THE CORNER!!!
Larry Nabisco: The ref is checking on Sweeny now and here comes Mr. Reaves!!!
Mike Ixnay: Sweeny may be hurt here, but what IS Reaves doing out here???
Jesse Ventura: What is Mr. Reaves doing on the apron???
Mike Ixnay: I don't know, but the ref is turned to Sweeny and Reaves has a chair... HE NAILS TINY IN THE HEAD WITH THE CHAIR!!!
Larry Nabisco: I think that Sweeny and Reaves have been in cohoots all along!!!
Mike Ixnay: You may be right, but tiny is choking Reaves out now!!! The shot to the head didn't seem to phase him one bit!!!
Jesse Ventura: Sweeny shoves the ref asisde and he goes up behind tiny wth a roll-up...1.....2.... kickout!!! tiny back up and Sweeny ducks a clothesline... SWEENYSIZER ON TINY!!! Sweeny pins....1....2.... kickout!!!!!
Mike Ixnay: What a battle this is!!! tiny is dazed and Sweeny is pulling tiny back up into the Sweenysizer position, and... IT'S THE URBAN BOMBSHELL!!! TINY PUT THE URBAN BOMBSELL ON SWEENY AND HE GOES FOR THE PIN....1....2...... Reaves jumps in and stops the count!!!
Larry Nabisco: Get him out of there!!!
Jesse Ventura: tiny is going for Reaves again, that is a mistake for the young tiny!!!
Mike Ixnay: Sweeny has the chair and he nails tiny in the back of the leg. tiny is hobblign and drops Reaves. Sweeny is going for a DDT, but TINY WITH A BELLY TO BELLY!!! Tiny is rolling Sweeny up....1....2...3...... TINY WINS!!!
Micheal Buttbuffer: The winner of the match, and NEW United States Heavyweight Champion, tiny!!!
Mike Ixnay: what a match that was!!! tiny is the new Champion and Reaves and Sweeny are going to have a LOT to say about this on Monday i can guarantee it.
Jesse Ventura: That was a swirv that I didn't expect. Sweeny and Reaves???
Mike Ixnay: Scheme Gene is standing by in the locker room with Pimp Daddy Cain. Gene?
(Camera goes to the locker room area where Gene is with Pimp Daddy Cain.)
Scheme Gene: Fans, we are back here in the locker room of Pimp Daddy Cain who lost to a virtual unknown tonight. The rookie sensation, Matt Foster. Pimp, how'd it feel to lose to a rookie?
PDC: He didn't wrestle like one tonight. Well, Foster, you're hardcore. Are you finally happy? But see, feuds don't end with one match. They're ongoing. And It's gonna keep on rolling 'til Monday Night. You see, you used to piss me off. Now, you've got my attention. This Monday, I'm gonna up the ante. Weapons match. You pick one, I pick one. We'll see who's hardcore.
Scheme Gene: Back to you guys....

Jason Wylde v. RipTide (ETV Title):
(The camera fades back to the arena where "Pretty Fly For A White Guy" by The Offspring plays as RipTide approaches the ring.)
Mike Ixnay: What a turn of events!!! I guess that one is goig to happen again on Monday!!! I think that PDC got woken up in a way he didn't really want to be.
Larry Nabisco: It is always hard to take a loss to a rookie or someone less experienced than you, but I see something special in this kid now. Somethin g that a lot of newcomers DON'T have... TALENT!
Jesse Ventura: This Fly Guy called RipTide though, he has bumped off some pretty big names as of late hasn't he?
Mike Ixnay: Most recently, he beat Pimp Daddy Cain this past Wednesday after Matt Foster hit him in the head with a chair accidentally.
Jesse Ventura: A win is a win!!!
Mike Ixnay: Maybe so, but it is time for the prelude to the main event as we introduce the champion...
("Chance" by Savatage plays as Jason Wylde runs to the ring wearing some "slightly different" attire. He is sporting a tiedye shirt and ripped jeans and a pair of sunglasses.)
Mike Ixnay: What the hell???
Larry Nabisco: Jason has a new look!!!
Jesse Ventura: He looks like a reject from the 80's. Kind of glamourish I guess you would say...
Mike Ixnay: He kind of looks like a former United States champion we all know if you smell what I am cooking...
Larry Nabisco: He's refered to him a lot in the past in interviews, but what is going on here?
Mike Ixnay: I don't know, but...
(bell rings)
Mike Ixnay: The match is under way as RipTide catches Wylde coming into the ring with kicks. Wylde hasn't even gotten the belt off yet and RipTide sends him to the ropes... RipTide ducks as if to back drop wylde, but Wylde stops and kicks RipTide in the face!!! Wylde with a pick up and a Ligerbomb on RipTide!!!
Jesse Ventura: jason is on the offense now, but RipTide with a clothesline on Wylde!!! Riptide is pulling Wylde up and MICHINOKUDRIVER ON WYLDE BY RIPTIDE!!!
Larry Nabisco: I can feel the Nasty Wave coming up!!!
Mike Ixnay: You can feel YOUR Nasty Wave??? What??? RipTide is pulling Wylde up and HURRICANRADA ON WYLDE OUT OF THE RING!!! RipTide is wanting to take it to the outside and he has his footing back. He is on the top rope and SUICIDE DIVE TO THE OUTSIDE BY RIPTIDE ON WYLDE!!!
Jesse Ventura: RipTide is on a roll right now and he is sending wylde back into the ring and Wylde s getting back to this feet. RipTide is in and Wylde with a trip up on RipTide as he gets in. Wylde goes back to the attack with a few stomps to RipTide, Wylde pulls RipTide up and BODYSLAM ON RIPTIDE IN THE CENTER OF THE RING!!!
Mike Ixnay: Wylde is going for some sort of submission hold in the center of the ring... a "Hollywood And Vine" kind of thing and what is The Nugget World Order doing coming out???
Larry Nabisco: I dunno, but The Freak is distracting the ref and Head breaks the hold!!!
Mike Ixnay: Wylde is up and he is mad now at Head, but Riptide is also back up and he nails Wylde with an axehandle!!! RipTide and Head with a double team on Wylde, double whip to the ropes, Wylde ducks the clothesline and DOUBLE DROPKICK ON RIPTIDE AND HEAD SENDS HEAD TO THE OUTSIDE!!!
Jesse Ventura: Wylde back on the attack to RipTide and head goes over to The Freak to converse... Wylde is pulling up RipTide and the ref is trying to get the Nugget World Order ot leave ringside, Wylde with a nice fishermanbuster and he has him pinned!!! 1....2....3...4...5.... where's the ref???
Mike Ixnay: With the nWo of coarse!!! Wylde is going to the ref to get his attention, and RipTide whips Wylde around and into a... IT'S THE NASTY WAVE!!! RIPTIDE'S VERSION OF THE STUNNER!!! RipTide goes for the pin...1...2...3... RipTide wins!!!
Michal Buttbuffer: The winner and NEW "Too Extreme For Television" Champion, RipTide!!!
Mike Ixnay: Oh my, I didn't see this coming...
Larry Nabisco: Neither did I...
Mike Ixnay: He has the mic...
RipTide: Okay, now you may have been wondering why I saved them and they saved me by now. I'm not gonna tell you because they are... hit it boys...
Head !!: Hey yo NEW, wassup???
(The crowd gives Head a big pop)
Head !!: The Nugget World Order and this man here, RipTide, the new "Too Extreme For Television" Champion, got tired of being dumped on and attacked left and right. So we needed someone to watch our backs, so we watched his! Now We got something in this bag that we brought out earlier...
(The Freak pulls out a few Terror Squad t-shirts and two UNC caps Head and The Freak put on the caps.)
RipTide: We have two more surprises in store for the NEW that will be on our side VERY soon, so this goes to the The Powers That Be, and DOOM... because you sould be afraid... VERY afraid, feel our Terror, The Terror Squad!!!
(The corners explode with the fans erupting with a big pop for The Squad.)
Mike Ixnay: The Terror Squad with an open challenge to The Powers That Be and DOOM??? I am being told that we need to go to the back with Gene right now as he is with Jason Wylde... Gene???

(The camera cuts to the back where Scheme Gene stands by with Jason Wylde as Wylde is packing his bags up to go home for the evening.)
Scheme Gene: Ladies and gentlemen, I'm back here in the locker room area trying to get a word witht he former ETV champ after his loss to riptide.. Jason! Jason can we get a word...
Jason Wylde: A word Gene? Failure... That's the word. I have now lost two weeks in a row to a person who is less than worthy to wear that belt. I... I dont know...
(all of a sudden jason starts to look around... searching the air for something)
JW: Do you hear it Gene?
SG: Hear what? I think you took one too many shots to the head tonight Jason.
JW: There's metal in the air tongiht Gene...
(starts to laugh somewhat maniacally)
JW: Metal in the air, and it tells me that a change is needed... oh yes... a change...
SG: Ok, whatever you say Jason. Fans, this has gotten too wierd for me... back to you guys.