> > > > (The camera opens up with the familiar opening theme music of Monday Night Massacre in a filled ECW Arena in Piladelphia, PA. the music quickly switches to "Come With Me" by Puff Daddy as the fans pop.) > Mike Ixnay: Fans, welcome to Monday Night Massacre, and I guess we are starting off the night with RipTide... as you all know, he is not the World Champ, thanks to OOZING Sore. > Larry Nabisco: Yeah, Sore came out and he meant well, but he cost his ally the title. > Mike Ixnay: Fans, we had a lot go down on Millenium Bowl, but for now, let's go to the ring... > Riptide: After Millenium Bowl.... I was furious. For a number of reasons. First and foremost, I lost the World Title match. To Sniper, of all people. I felt down because I KNOW I can beat Sniper. Now, that I lost to him, it will be pretty hard to wrestle agian. But I will go on. And second, Mr. Reaves and Oozing Sore. Sore you cost me the match. You might say it's an accident. But it cost me the match still. The main thing... I told both of you bitches that if any of you interferred, you would be done for! So Reaves, Sore, both of you get your asses out here, caz I WANT to know why!! > (Sore starts down the ramp alone to a mixed reaction. Some fans are throwing crap at him.) > Mike Ixnay: Fans, I don't know what to say... Sore is not scheduled to wrestle tonight, and as you can see, he doesn't have the Hardcore Title with him... > Larry Nabsico: See that neckbrace? > Mike Ixnay: Yep! Sore now sports that brace curtosy of the new Hardcore Champ, Ru after a stunning Tigerdriver 91 finish!!! > OOZING Sore: Hey, Rip... cool down, I can explain... > Riptide: Then explain you dumbass!!! > (Fans actually start to cheer Riptide for the first time) > OOZING Sore: Look dude, I didn't mean to cost you the win... you were in a bind and I thought you could have used a hand... look at me, I don't even have my belt now!!! > Riptide: Well I don't care if you meant to or not! I told you not too, and now you can go fuck yourself!!! > (Fans go nuts as Riptide gives him the finger. Sore goes for a punch, but Rip blocks, and kicks Sore in the gut and delivers The Tidal burst! Rip starts beating the hell out of Sore.) > Mike Ixnay: Fans, I can't belive this!!! RipTide has just attacked Sore!!! > Larry Nabsico: Now security is trying to pry him off of Sore... > Mike Ixnay: What a way to start off Massacre... both men are finally out of the ring, so let's go to our first match!!! > ("New Breed" by Fear Factory blasts over the p.a. system. The Hoursemen wait for the Untouchables when the lights go out, then start flashing on and off.) > Mike Ixnay: Fans, up next is a tag team that was introduced at the PPV... Trent Micheals and this familiar face that wants to be known as simply "The Extreme Icon" who saved The Profit$ from a beating at the hands of The Family... > Larry Nabsico: These two men look rough and rugged. This oughtta be a good one... > Mike Ixnay: They will square off with a new "Four Horsemen of THe Apacolypse" tangent brought in by Sniper as they face The Pale and The Red Horse... > (When they appear back to normal, there are Trent Michaels and the Extreme Icon behind them, with barbwired aluminum bats. They each take a swing at their opponent's legs. The bell rings.) > The Horsemen of The Apacolypse v. The Untouchables > Mike: The Untouchables waste no time in starting this one off... Pale Horse rolls out and The Extreme Icon follows him out... Extreme is working him over heavy and now sets the Pale Horse on a table. He jumps up onto the first rope, now the second, now the top, asai moonsault off the top rope through the table!!! > Larry: WHOA! Now the Red Horseman out and he breaks it up. Trent Michaels follws out Red Horse and now it's a brawl between them all! The Red Horseman with A HUGE CHAIRSHOT ON TRENT! Trent gets back up! Another! He gets back up, daring for the Red Horse to hit him again! He turns and hits the Extreme Icon with the chair! Trent grabs the red horse from behind... Reverse DDT! > Mike: Okay Larry, now shut-up! The ref has finally gotten them back in the ring, and The Extreme Icon slowly getting up, dropkick on The Red Horse. Pale Horse grabs a chair, and so does Trent. A sword, er uh, chair fight! Wait! Extreme Icon with a standing side-kick to the back of the Pale Horse's head! At the same time Trent swung that chair! it was a sandwich! The Extreme Icon wedges a table between the ring apron and railing, uh-oh. He jumps into the ring and grabs Pale horse! Wait! Pale with a reverse! PALE HORSE JUST BELLY-to-BELLY SUPLEXED THE EXTREME ICON OVER THE TOP AND THROUGH THE TABLE! The Extreme Icon just folded into two! Now The Horsemen are working over Trent Micheals... double dropkick on Trent Micheals, and he stagers around... The Horsemen with a double fameasser on Micheals!!! Pale goes for the pin...1...2..kickout... Red stomps Trent and Pale pulls him up... Pale with a neck breaker and Red follows up with a slingshot into the ropes!!! Trent is holding his neck, and Pale rolls him up...1...2..kickout... Red is choking out Trent while Pale stomps his legs. The Horsemen are looking at each other, and Pale puts Trent in a boston crab... Red has Trent in a headlock... The Extreme Icon is back in and he DDTs Pale!!! Red releases the hold and walks into a clothesline!!! Extreme is checking on Trent and Red with a chairshot on Extreme... The Horseman team are just pounding on The Extreme Icon! Stomping on him. Quick elbow drops! Big leg drop, stomping on him again! Wait! TEI is getting up! They're pounding on him, but he's still getting up! > Larry: (as if reading a script poorly and quickly) And The Extreme Icon in a surge of power throws both of them across the ring!!! Wow!!! Incredible!!! > Mike: Shut-up! TEI throws back his arms and lets out a scream of rage! WHAT?!? The lights just went out! I CAN'T SEE! > (The lights now start flashing red then black, over and over. In the ring you see The Extreme Icon, and on the outside you see Trent Michaels pinning the Red Horseman, where blood's everywhere, and a fallen over gaurdrail next to him.) > Mike: What the? Trent Michaels pins...1...2...3... The Untouchables win! > (The Untouchables, bloody and beaten, but still the victors, each grab a mic) > The Extreme Icon: Yo! Is this example enough? We are the two most DANGEROUS extreme HARDCORE Icons you fools have ever seen. Hardcore Trent Michaels, (points to his partner) The extreme Icon, THE UNTOUCHABLES!!! Got it, punks? > Hardcore Trent Micheals: We're just to extreme! > The Extreme Icon: Yeah, we're just too unstoppable! > Hardcore Trent Micheals: We're too sweet... > both: AND WE'RE DAMN TOO UNTOUCHABLE!!! > (They exit to "Enter Sandman" by Metallica) > Mike Ixnay: What a devastating team this is... > (The camera fades bckstage where you see Riptide throwing tables, punching stuff, and shoving people around.) > Mike Ixnay: This is uncanny!!! RipTide is on a rampage tonight. I fear for the lives of Psycho and DOA, who face him later tonight... > (Camera fades back to the arena where is suddenly goes dark.) > Mike Ixnay: Wha??? > (A voice speaks over the PA) > voice: Sometimes in this world we live in, great injustices are commited. The truth, the honesty, the heroics, are destroyed by the harsh reality of the dark life that consumes us all. When the darkness becomes too much, rarely is there someone to stand-up to it. Someone dead to the world, yet alive to the justice which he seeks. Where is this savior? This Spirit of Vengeance? All around you, you just have to want him here. Cry out to the Heavens, shout his name, and justice will guide him to you... > (The lights go back up and the fans pop) > Mike Ixnay: Fans, that was weird... lord know what that was... anywas, Thursday Night, The Powers That Be returned to NEW!!! They are the Stable Champions, they are the guys that Benjamin brought in as Mr. Reaves' replacements, and on his retirement... Mr. Reaves brought in, get this... McKai Collins who shortly there after made short work of JJ Hart... > Larry Nabsico: Something is in the works on this one, because tell em Mike... > Mike Ixnay: Oh yeah! Later tonight, you will see Stunnin Steve face Trent Raven TONIGTH!!! That's right!!! This should be on PPV, but you get it tonight!!! Ain't Massacre grand??? > ("Rock Is Dead" by Marilyn Manson plays as TYRANT approaches the ring.) > Ixnay: TYRANT is now making his way to the ring. He is one mean SOB. > (All of a sudden, "Dead Bodies Everywhere" by KORN, begins to blast through the PA.) > Nabisco: What the hell is going on here? > (Out of the crowd jumps a man in Blue Jeans and a white t-shirt that says "Hell Hath No Fury Like Hawk Manson". He just nailed Tyrant with a steel chair in the back of the head. He places the chair on the floor and picks up Tyrant.He puts him in what looks like the torture rack, squats just a little and pushes up on Tyrants butt and flips him over into a DDT on the chair. The man pulls a mic out of his back pocket.) > man: Tyrant that is just a taste of what is to come. You will pay for what you did to Hawk. Tombstone, I know you are here. You know who I am and why I am here. Lets finally make Death by Desire the best damn stable this place has ever seen. > (The gentleman spits on Tyrant and dissapears into the crowd. The bell rings as Jerrodd Smith goes to work on TYRANT.) > Jerrodd Smith v. TYRANT > Mike Ixnay: Fans, this is incredible!!! A fan just attacked TYRANT, and Jerrodd with a whip to the ropes... TYRANT ducks a clothesline, AND TYRANT SPINS AROUND JERRODD WITH A SHOKESLAM!!! Jerrodd has been literally disected by TYRANT here tonight, as the monster has claimed Jerrodd is the first of Sniper's Horsemen to feel their Last Regrets. And speaking of which, there's a kick to the gut, Jerrodd's up in a Power-Bomb, but down with a Choke-Slam! Last Regret! Cover by TYRANT...1...2...3! TYRANT has won this match, but he's not stopping! The Devil-Man is laughing at his fallen opponent Jerrodd Smith, and now TYRANT is grabbing him by the back of his neck and picking him up off the mat! No! Jerrodd is down face-first from seven feet in the air! Blood is pouring out his nose, it has to be broken! TYRANT calls this move the Post Mortem, he's just adding insult and further injury to this already defeated man, Jerrodd Smith! What a demon! oh, now TYRANT's laughing at the unconcious Jerrodd, but wait, no! TYRANT's kicking Jerrodd in the back hard, the man's already unconcious! Here comes security! One man is in the ring with a baton, and now his partners are encircling TYRANT, good! Take that monster out of here! No, no, oh my God! TYRANT just kicked a member of NEW security out of the ring with a Big Boot, now the other three members are on top of TYRANT, but one's already down with a Choke-Slam! Another goes down with a snap-mare takedown! Now the other is pulled in front of TYRANT, Power-Bomb! TYRANT now drops an elbow across a security guard's sternum, and now another guard is behind TYRANT, but he gets a Stunner! TYRANT stands-up, and he's laughing again! He's just dismantled Jerrodd Smith and the NEW Security team! Oh, there go the lights, and red and white lights have just come on, and there's the Pale and Red Horsemen in the entrance way! TYRANT looks at them and smiles evily, and the Horsemen stare-on with blank looks in their eyes, as TYRANT picks Jerrodd back up and throws him out of the ring! This is dead-on War between TYRANT, Sniper, and the Horsemen of the Apocalypse! > (The Lighs in the arena go out and crackling fire appears on the titon-tron. it fades into the face of Sniper who is standing somewhere in a darkended room with candles lit all over. He has the World Title stap hanging over his shoulder.) > Mike Ixnay: Oh my god! It's Sniper, it's the champ! He wasn't even supposed to be on hand tonight! > Sniper: Tyrant, you are on the path of darkness. You are on the highway to your hell. I will make your life miserable until the day I'm done with you. I will fester in your mind, I will live in your soul, I will send my minoins to torture you physically, and by the time you stand toe to toe with me in the ring you will beg me to kill you. And I will comply. However, I will warn you this one thing, Dont turn around. > Larry Nabisco: Oh no Tyrant dont turn around. He did it anyway! Sniper! Sniper is standing in the ring, he just nailed TYRANT with the title. > Mike Ixnay: The lights are back on. Sniper hovers over Tyrant. This is really creepy. > Larry Nabisco: Sniper spits on TYRANT, oh my god he spit blood! somebody get him outta here. > Mike Ixnay: You won't have to do that he's just walkin back into the backstage area. Too creepy. Fans, we'll be right back... > (Commercial for NEW Action figures plays) > (The camera fades back into the arena and you see Mikey in the ring awaitng Wolvie's appearance as "Closer" by NIN plays.) > Mike Ixnay: Fans, welcome back to Massacre, and as you can see, we are all set for the Television/Condom Cup Title Match. Wolvie has made a few sporadice appearances here and there, but he has not defended the title in about 30 days. This is cutting it close. > (Wolvie comes out to a tremendous pop) > Larry Nabisco: Most places would have already stripped him of the title, but he is a guy that has done a lot of stuff for the NEW... > Mike Ixnay: I would agree... > (bell rings) > Wolvie v. Mikey (Television/Condom Cup Title) > Mike Ixnay: The match is underway, and they lock up... Wolvie tickles Mikey and an eyegouge to Mikey!!! Mikey is wretching in pain, and now Wolvie is wiggling his index finger in Mikey's face??? What is that all about? > Larry Nabsico: He's strange... > Mike Ixnay: SHUT UP!!! Mikey is laughing... god this is weird... Wolvie with a T-Bone Suplex!!! Wolvie is signalling for a Double Armbar Submission, and here comes Stunnin Steve and GRENDEL!!! Steve is on the apron and Wolvie with a clothesline sending him off the apron... GRENDEL catches him, and Mikey from behin with a rollup... he has a handfull of tights!!! The ref counts...1...2...3... Mikey is the new Television/Condom Cup Champion!!! > Larry Nabsico: I can't belive it... Mikey is the new champ, and Steve and Grendel are in the ring... Wolvie is working over Steve and Grendel spins him around and into a CHOKESLAM!!! GRENDEL WITH A CHOKESLAM ON WOLVIE!!! > Mike Ixnay: Mikey is trying to escape, but Steve pulls him back in by the tights... Steve tosses Mikey to Grendel and GRENDEL WITH A CHOKESLAM!!! They have the mic... > Stunnin Steve: Playtime is over NEW!!! I am back and The Powers is back!!! Tent, you say I am a withered old hasbeen... we'll find out who the hasbeen is later tonight, but this goes out to you, TYRANT and all... this man next to me is the greatest World Champion to ever grace a ring with his presence... he is the baddest man on the planet!!! Fans, we all know Marcotte is in the back tonight... Marcotte, it is time to quit hiding from us and to come out like a man... > ("Blaze of Glory" by Bon Jovi plays as IWA World Champion, Brian Marcotte comes out with the belt in hand.) > Stunnin Steve: This is the man that just won the IWA World Title... the man that returned to NEW over a month ago and has not shown his face on our program since his return... come on in... > (Marcotte enters) > Stunnin Steve: Now, you know that this man is the best damn thing to ever grace a ring... he beat you twice and buried your career. I order you, as the new higher power of the NEw to surrender your belt to GRENDEL. > BABM: Steve, I'll admit, GRENDEL is a tough competitor, but he is far inferior to me. I'll give him this belt, or the NEW belt over my dead body... > Stunnin Steve: So be it... > (GRENDEL blindsides Marcotte and a bell rings) > Stunnin Steve: This is what happens when you defy authority... crush him!!! > Mike Ixnay: This is uncalled for, and GRENDEL WITH A POWERBOMB!!! Grendel pins...1...2...3... I can't belive it!!! > (The fans are booing) > Stunnin Steve: Grendel is the man... he is the man that will bring us to the new millenium.... TYRANT, Trent Raven... you mean nothing, this man means everything, and McKai... you are the next victim... > (Just then, McKai and Trent Raven run out to a huge pop) > Mike Ixnay: The Powers are bailing out!!! Listen to the fans!!! > (The fans begin a small "Ronin!!! Ronin" chant.) > Stunnin Steve: Save it for the ring fellas!!! > Mike Ixnay: This is crazy!!! Fans, in the back at this time, we've got some recorded comments from Jonas Testament. > (The scene cuts to the back, where Jonas Testament sits in complacent silence near the loading area. Boxes and shipping crates surround them. The darkened room is the perfect setting for another of Jonas' cryptic messages. Poe sits beside him. One arm is wrapped around her protectively. His tattered biker jacket is wrapped around her shoulders. He wears a dark Skid Row t-shirt, with jean shorts. Staring at the floor, he slowly speaks.) > Jonas: Next week, the first offering will be made. > The first example, I am afraid to announce, will have to be Jade's bodyguard, Beranrd. I direly hope that Jade is paying you enough money, friend, because you're gonna have a lot of medical bills to cover. The method is still unclear. Maybe I'll drop you through a table headfirst. Maybe I'll kick you off the entranceway, letting you land on your neck. There is no alternative, Bernard. My anguish cannot be ignored any longer. I will not tolerate being taken lightly. This next Monday, to prove to all the world just how demented I am, I am going to hurt Bernard. Maybe I'll also hurt Mikey and Jade. One way or another, everyone in NEW will know who I am, and everyone will know my pain. This is the Testament of Jonas. > (Jonas slowly lowers his head. Poe rests her head on his shoulder, and smiles sudductively. Camera then cuts to several commercials for the origonal Transformers Movie to be rereleased on VHS... COOL!!!) > (The camera fades back in and you see Stunnin Steve and GRENDEL walking out while "White Lightning" by Def Leppard plays. The fans are to seem to be booing them more than cheering.) > Mike Ixnay: Fans, welcome back to Massacre, and it is time for Stunnin Steve v. Trent Raven, but it's looking to be more of a pro Trent Raven crowd... > Larry Nabsico: Well, after that number Steve and G did earlier tonight, I can't blame them... Wolvie may be out for a while... > Mike Ixnay: The origonal Powers That Be are back as we go to the ring... > ("The fans pop as "Something I Can Never Have" by NIN plays. Trent Raven runs out to the admiration of the crowd. Steve and Grendel jump Trent as he enters. The bell rings.) > Stunnin Steve v. Trent Raven > Mike Ixnay: They are wasting no time here fans!!! Steve abd Grendel are working Trent over and they pull him up... a whip to the ropes, an attempted double clothesline, but Trent ducks... Trent back with a clothesline of his own, and Steve is down, but GRENDEL seems to be uneffected!!! Trent is begging off!!! GRENDEL with a kick to the gut, and POWERBOMB!!! Oh my god!!! > (The fans pop as McKai Collins storms the ring.) > Mike Ixnay: Here comes McKai!!! He's in and he and GRENDEL are going toe to toe!!! Referee Mills Lane who on the outside dis taking to them the back... McKai and GRENDEL are fighting all the way to the back, and Trent and Steve are back up... Trent with a dropkick on Steve... Trent is straddling Steve punching him in the face!!! Steve pushes Trent off and now he's on top!!! > Larry Nabisco: What an orgy!!! > Mike Ixnay: Shut your pie hole!!! Steve is dribbling Trent's head like a basketball against the mat... Steve up and a stomp top the face... Steve is calling for a chair, and a fan throws one in... Steve is measuring up Trent and STEVE NAILS TRENT IN THE FACE WITH THE CHAIR!!! Steve bounces off the ropes aned does a running spine side kick!!! It's a modified Vandaminator!!! Trent falls back, and Steve bounces off the ropes... IT'S A LEGDROP!!! Steve is stomping the chair, and Trent has to be bleeding!!! Steve rests one foot on top of Trent, and the fans are booing him... what a nonchalant cover... Steve pulls up Trent, and Trent with a kick to the gut... Trent powers Steve over for a northern Lights Suplex!!! Trent takes the chair off, and he has it... Trent with a chair shot to Steve, and he catches Steve falling forward... IT'S A DDT!!! STEVE IS OUT!!! Trent is pulling him up one more time... and here comes referee double, Fat Faggerson!!! Trent has Steve up... IT'S THE DIVEBOMB!!! Trent pins...1...2...3... Trent wins and Grendel is back in... Grendel is working over Trent and Steve is back to his feet... MacKai is back out and all hell is breaking loose!!! Security has stormed the ring to break them up... > Trent Raven: Powers That Were... you started a war you can't win... we'll take you on at the PPV if you want!!! > GRENDEL: Why wait??? You two against us... next week, you won't stand a chance!!! > Trent Raven: Don't sing it, bring it!!! > Mike Ixnay: I can't belive it!!! These four ledgends are all back for one night, and they already challenge to a Stable Match for the next PPV??? > Larry Nabsico: This could get interesting... > ("Ha" by Juvenile plays as Boomer Karr and Terrell Payne make their way down the aisle to a chorus of very loud boos) > Mike Ixnay: I was fixing to say something, but Boomer Karr and Terrel Payne are on thier way out... these two make me sick!!! > Larry Nabisco: Yeah, the two Benedict Arnolds....... > (The two men enter the ring and Boomer calls for a mic.) > Boomer: (dusting of his suit) Cut the fucking music! > (music stops) > Boomer: Thank you. Now then... The brass here at the NEW do not like me. I know that for a fact. Slim Cross... I ain't done with you yet. You cheated me out of the Commissioner's chair at Armegeddon. I remember that. Do not for one second think that I'm done with you, because I'm not in a longshot. Your hiring of Ralph Lenier to screw me out of the win proved one thing to me... And that is that you know that I am better than you. I'm a better wrestler than you, I'm a better booker than you, and that I am a much, much better Commissioner than you. > (fans boo) > Boomer: Fine, boo me all you want, you ham-and-eggers. You will see on Saturday, October 16th at Autumn Arsenal, live from the Civic Arena in Pittsburgh, only seen on pay-per-view, since the Arena sold out in under thirty minutes. Fans, you will be seeing much more than wrestling, let me tell you. Oh yes you will. Now, I am starting to book matches for this show. I am encountering one problem. I don't know who I should sign to face Terrell Payne. The general consensus around NEW is that everyone is afraid of him. My God, he took out a so-called legend of the sport in Sauce. Sauce, big guy, wherever you are, I know that you're realizing why I made the move and got rid of your big black ass. You're way past your prime. You're a gimp. You're arm's shattered. So, me and Terrell did you a favor at the Millenium Bowl. We damaged your arm so bad that you will probably never return to the ring again. > (he hands the mic to Payne) > TP: Sauce.... Yo bitch-assed motha fucka! Listen up! Now dat yo finally gone from da scene, I can go on wit my career. It seem dat everywhere I go, people say to me dat Sauce is dis an Sauce is dat. Frankly, I don't give a shit who Sauce be! I know da real Sauce! Da real Sauce is a bitch-assed motha fucka not no legen' an shit. Nigga, I know yo know dat I be betta den yo. I always was. An, Booma showed his faith in me by becomin my managa. Booma knew dat I was betta den yo Sauce. Now, I got every person in da NEW scared of me. No one wants to fight me. So be it. Gi' me a title shot, den!!! > ("Hoody Hoo" by TRU starts to play as the crowd goes wild) > Larry Nabisco: THAT'S SAUCE'S MUSIC!!!! > Mike Ixnay: No one is coming down the aisle! Boomer and Payne are looking around frantically. > Larry Nabisco: HERE COMES SAUCE!!! > Mike Ixnay: Sauce is walking down the aisle, with his arm in a sling. He better watch it!!! Payne rushes out of the ring and runs towards Sauce... SAUCE WITH A BOOT TO THE GUT!!!! THERE'S A RIGHT UPPER CUT!!! PAYNE ROLLS BACK DOWN THE RAMPWAY!!!!! FANS ARE GOING NUTS!!!!!! Boomer rushes out to Payne's aid... Payne gets back up. He and Boomer both rush Sauce. Sauce tries to fend them off, but the get the better of Sauce. Payne is kicking away at Sauce's already broken arm!!!! Boomer is slapping Sauce across the face!!!! > Larry Nabisco: ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!!!! > Mike Ixnay: Sauce looks to be in serious trouble!!! This has gone too far!!!! Here come NEW officials. They are trying to pull Boomer and Payne off of Sauce! Slim Cross has rushed out and is prying Boomer away!!! > Larry Nabisco: WAY TO GO COMMISH!!! > Mike Ixnay: Boomer pulls away from Cross and shoves him away. Cross retaliates with a hard right hand! The fans are going nuts!!!!! Boomer staggers back and shoves Slim. Slim shoves Boomer back. TERRELL FROM BEHIND WITH A CLOTHESLINE!!! Payne just leveled the commish!!!! OH GOD!!!! Payne pulls Cross up... RUNNING POWERSLAM!!!!! Cross is laid out!!! OH GOD! Boomer with an elbow drop on his nemesis!!! Now the NEW officials are circling around Cross and Sauce to keep Payne and Boomer away. Here comes Steve Reaves. He rushes down and is confronting his business partner, Boomer. > Larry Nabisco: It looks like Reaves is asking Boomer what's going on. > Mike Ixnay: It looks like Boomer is ignoring Reaves as Reaves is accompanying Boomer and Payne to the back. Here come some paramedics to assist Sauce and Slim. Fans, this time slot was alloted to the new Tag Team Champions of the NEW, Home Improvement Inc... so here come The champoions... > ("The Ocean" by Led Zeppelin starts to play and Home Improvement Incorparated come out and walk down to the ring.) > Mike Ixnay: Here they are, Home Improvment Inc. the Tag Team Champions. These two beat Menace 2 Society and Sonic Youth on back to back Massacre's to win those belts... there are so many new teams formed now... Trent Raven and McKail... The Powers That Be... The Untouchables... The returning Lady Killers!!! this could be great!!! >   > The Plumber: Alright now we are not going to fool around out we are going to get to the point. And that point is that we want the Lady Killers on next weeks Monday Night Massacre.  >   > The Electriction Claude Southerns: Yeah now we have offered challenges but they have not responded yet.  Maybe the thing is that you guys are afraid of us, but I wouldn't know why you would be.  All we want to do is show that we deserve our NEW Tag Team Titles and that we are going to have them for a long time. >   > The Plumber: Exactly so Buckmaster... Pimp Daddy Cain... Lady Killers... If you guys want a shot at the Tag Team Titles we are willing to give you one. So all you got to do accept the match and it is on.  >   > The Electriction Claude Southerns: We will show the world that you guys are too old to be still in wrestling and we will run you plumb out of the NEW for good. But if you guys are afraid to step into the ring just think you guys are going to get a shot at the tag titles.  Which you of course wouldn't win but still you might, might just have a little bit of a chance to become a 3-Time NEW Tag Team Champions. >   > The Plumber: We are The Tag Team Champs... read the name... NEW EXTREME WRESTLING... We ARE The EXTREME!!! And noone can say any different... > (The fans pop as Ru walks out.) > Ru: Did I just hear you talk about The EXTREME??? My boys, you don't know what it is about... I'll whip your asses right now in front of EVERYONE here!!! > The Plumber: Bring it bitch ass!!! > (The fans pop as Ru runs to the ring and the bell rings.) > Mike Ixnay: All hell has broken loose!!! Ru is taking on Plumber and Electrician!!! Flying fists of fury from Ru and he is fending them off... Electrician is knocked to the outside, and Ru is taking on Plumber... Electrician reaches under the ring and he has a light bulb!!! Ru whips Plumber off the ropes, and he sends him out of the ring with a back drop!!! Plumber lands into the Canadian announcer's booth!!! Electrician back in and he busts the lightbulb over Ru's head... Plumber is getting back up slowly, and he tosses in a chair... the fans are cheering... what??? IT'S NEW JACK!!! > Larry Nabsico: What??? > Mike Ixnay: THE ORIGONAL GANGSTA IS COMING OUT!!! NEW JACK IS HERE AND HE BUSTS A CAP ON ELELCTRICIAN!!! New Jack and Electrician brawl to the outside, and Ru kicks The Plumber in the gut... Plumber drops the chair, and Ru whips around Plumber into a DDT on the chair!!! Ru pulls the chair up and he sets it in the middle fo the ring... Ru pulls up Plumber and takes him to the top rope... RU WITH A SUPERPLEX!!! OH MY GOD!!! HE SUPERPLEXED PLUMBER THROUGH THE CHAIR!!! Ru with a pin...1...2...3... Ru wins!!! > Larry Nabsico: Yeah, but Home Improvement are still Tag Champs!!! > Mike Ixnay: Ru showed them who is EXTREME... fans, we'll be right back with our main event!!! > (Commercial for Lord of the Rings plays) > Mike Ixnay: Fans, welcome back to Massacre... before we go to the Main Event... the most horrific, most dastardly event in wrestling history occured at the PPV. We saw Wicked Clown and House of Pain return to NEW and behead a Pony in the middle of the ring, and the enslaved Daughter and granddaughters of Scheme Gene had sex with it's dead carcass!!! > Larry Nabsico: I'd have said it was kinky, but it drew the line... > Mike Ixnay: And we at the NEW are thankful you ran in and helped out Gene... fans, Wicked Clown is the sickest son of a bitch there is... he now has threatened the lives of Boomer and Reaves... > Larry Nabsico: Maybe he'll go easy on Reaves now that he's been fired... > Mike Ixnay: Sheit... I am being told that we need to go the the Motel 6 nearby for the Hotel Match... and... > (Suddenly the lights go out and the fans go silent.) > Mike Ixnay: What is this??? > voice: NEW, the time has come... The Four Horsemen of The Apacolypse have come forth... The coming of a being and the sons of Satan have arrived... and now it is time... > Mike Ixnay: This does not sound good... > ("More Human Than Human" by White Zombie plays as the fans pop) > Mike Ixnay: What's up with this??? What's up with Grendel's music??? > (The lights go back up, and lights forming a cross flash onto the entrance ramp and Pastor Mark Brian comes out.) > Mike Ixnay: Hold the phone... PASTOR MARK BRIAN IS BACK IN NEW!!! > PMB: The day has come... 9999 was the end of an era, and the beginning of an age of darkness in the NEW... Wicked Clown, HOP... I have come back to right the wrong. You have shed blood on the innocent, and that has brought forth several demons to the NEW. I am here to see to it it doesn't go any further! > (The fans give Mark a big pop) > PMB: The gay son in law and the grandson of Scheme Gene... the six year old gril from Little Rock, the 12 year old girl from Benton Arkansas, the waitress from Tennessee... all these were innocent people. Your sins will not go unforgiven Clown... House of Pain, you support him, you are just ass wrong. If I have to rid NEW of all the evil starting with The Horsemen... if I have to defeat all the demons in the NEW just to get to you... so be it, but the new millenium will not go down as the end, but the beginning... > (Mark Brian returns to the back as the fans continue to chant his name.) > Mike Ixnay: Fans, a revelation has come forth... the new day becons us!!! Mark Brian is back, and I am being told that we are ready at the hotel... > Main Event: RipTide & Venom v. Psycho & DOA > (Camera switches to the hotel. You see The DOA and Psycho looking for Venom and RipTide. They chatter amongste each other, and the lights go out... you hear punching, biting and falling... the lights go back on, and you see the DOA knocked out with a bloody Cardinal lying on each them as Psycho looks to be in shock.) > Psycho: What the hell??? > (Psycho runs to the counter and pulls the lady working the counter over it, and drags her off.) > Psycho: You are coming with me... > woman: HELP!!! > Mike Ixnay: What is going on here??? Psycho is walking to the back area near the pool, and RIPTIDE LEAPS OFF THE SECOND FLOOR AND NAILS PSYCHO WITH A SUICIDE DIVE!!! Riptide is brawling with Psycho and he throws him into the lawn tables nearby!!! Riptide pulls Psycho and HE TOSSES HIM INTO THE POOL!!! Rip jumps in and he is dunking his head underwater!!! What the hell??? > Larry Nabsico: Where is Venom? > Mike Ixnay: Who knows? Rip is pulling Psycho out of the pool, and he goes for a DDT, but Psycho blocks... W-w-wait!!! > (Psycho northern lightnign suplexes Rip into the cameraman... the satellite feed is lost. The camera cuts to commercial for about 20 minutes and all you see are promos for crappy Barney merchandise. Finally, after the Neilsen ratings have gone down 2 points, the feed comes back.) > Mike Ixnay: What a hell of a match this has been!!! Psycho is on the balcony, and IT'S A SENTAN BOMB!!! HE NAILS RIPTIDE WITH IT!!! Psycho is going for a cover...1...2...kick out... Psycho pulls up RipTide and he pulls him over to the excercise room... what is going to happen next??? > Larry Nabsico: I dunno, but we've seen almost anythign that could happen... > Mike Ixnay: Psycho is setting up rip against a piece of excercise equipment, and he goes for a stinger splash!!! Rip moves out of the way, and Psycho hits it face first!!! Rip grabs Psycho and HE CHOKESLAMS HIM THROUGH A NEARBY WINDOW!!! Psycho is out cold, and Rip leaps through the window... Rip pulls up Psycho and there is Psycho's Viper... Rip is taking Psycho over to the Viper and he unlocks the trunk... Rip throws Psycho in the Viper and he locks the trunk!!! What the hell??? Rip jumps in and he is taking off!!! Rip is in the middle of an intersection and he stops!!! What the hell??? Rip is leaving the Viper and he runs to a nearby gas station... A MACK TRUCK HAS JUST SIDESWIPED THE VIPER!!! PSYCHO IS LOCKED IN THE TRUNK!!! Rip is on the phone sipping a soda!!! > Rip: Yes, I need to make a reservation for Psycho at the Smackdown Hotel!!! > (pause) > Rip: He's checked in already? Good! > (He hangs up) > Mike Ixnay: I guess Rip has won... I hope Psycho gets out of the trunk... we'll see you next week fans!!! > (Camera cuts to copyright)