Larry Nabisco: You're right about that, I'm not sure one cage can hold those two...

Mike: Alright, let's get this one on the way...I'm told the NEW Tag-Team Champions, Home Improvement Incorperated, have a few things to say...

"The Ocean" by Led Zeppelin starts to play as pyro and smoke rise-up from the enterance ramp. Through the smoke and pyro you can see two figures step out from behind the curtain. The two figures then step out through the fireworks and the crowd begins to cheer the tag team champions. They each give away their special items to two very lucky fans. They both grab mics and jump up into the ring. The Plumber begins to talk

The Plumber: Well hello all you NEW fans out there. Finally folks, the NEW Tag Team Champs Home Improvement Incorparated has come back from our about a week's leave of absence.

The Electriction Claude Southerns: Yes, yes. Now if all you folks have been wondering exactly where we were, well we were down on the eastern coast of North Carolina working on peoples houses that were destroyed and damaged by that friggin Hurricane Floyd. Now people like Mikey say they were help out with the hurricane damages in Delaware but it really never hit there hard. Our home state is where it hit hard. And Home Improvement Incorparated has been fixing all kinds of stuff in the past week. We have fixed everything from missing roofs to missing cats.

The Plumber: Yeah. I think me and you both were a little out of our element looking for peoples cats, but anything for the money right? Yeah, but now on to our tag team titles. We would like to maybe defend this baby say next week but there are no tag teams that have earned a shot yet. So what I am think is maybe next week there can be a big tag team battle royal and the winners will fights us for the tag team titles at the next pay-per-view.

The Electriction Claude Southerns: Yeah then there will be a really number one contending tag team for us to fight.

The Plumber: Exactly Claude. And any tag team can enter. The Lady Killers, The Powers That Be, The Horsemen, The Untouchables, or even those Pimpin Powers That be. We don't care. If a team can survive that match and come out on top then they have gained our respect.

The Electriction Claude Southerns: Yeah and we are willing to give them a shot. So be ready tag teams.

Mike: Ok, HII are leaving the ring, and now for our opening bout, the Cruiserweight Title is on the line as Madd Money Maxx Millions faces the Champ, Jade Diamond!

("Kashmir" by Led Zeppelin starts up, and Jade walks to the ring with a microphone in hand. He plays to the fans, decked out in green foil pants and a pair of Arnette's.)

Jade: This evening, the falling fast card gets the benefit of seeing the best damned showman in NEW history! If you tire of plodding giants tumbling around like morons, rise up! The Cruiserweight Kingpin is here, and the show has truly begun! Maddimus Maxxi-Pad, get the hell out here!

Jade Diamond vs. "Madd Money" Max Millions (CW Title)

MI: Here we go! Jade starts off with a nice kick to > the mid-section, and backs Max into the corner. He > kicks him once, twice, three, four times, and the ref > has to pull Jade away! Jade begins to argue with the > ref, and Max hits Jade with a chop-block! Jade goes > down, and Max locks on a half crab leglock! Jade's > knee is being taken out! Jade reaches the ropes, and > the hold breaks! Jade escapes to the outside! Now, > Max chases after him. Jade is screaming!

Jade: Ah, he's a madman!

LN: Jade back in the ring, and Max follows. Jade > kicks him again, and hits a fisherman's > suplex...1...2...kickout! Jade back up, and hits a > dropkick! He leaps up to the top, and executes a > corkscrew legdrop onto the prone Max! Jade laughs > manically! Now, he picks him up, and sets him up for > a gorilla press...No, he flows into a > Michinokou-Driver! Beautiful! Jade plays to the > crowd, but Max sneaks up behind, and goes for a > roll-up...1...2..kickout! Max sets up Jade, and hits > a piledriver! He's down, and Max climbs to the top > rope to try a moonsault!

MI: No, Jade leaps up, and kicks out Max's leg! Now, > he follows him back up, and hits a top-rope German > Suplex! Oh my God! He bridges...1...2..kickout! > Jade is back up, and he kicks him and nails a DDT. > Jade wipes his hands together, indicating that the > match is over! He runs into the ropes, and hits a > Lionsault! Jade with more showboating on the top > rope. Max is up, and he grabs jade from the tope rope > and hits a powerbomb! Max runs off the top rope, and > hits a fist drop! He is back up, and now he plays to > the crowd! Wait, Jade jumps back up, and pulls Max > into a Dragon Sleeper! Now, he kicks out one of Max's > legs, and sits down on his back! That's a dragon > sleeper from the camel clutch position! Max isn't > responding! The ref lifts his hand...1....2...3! > Jade has won after Millions passes out!

(the bell rings!)

(Jade releases the hold, and asks for a mic)

Jade: The greatest Cruiserweight champion ever > strikes again! There is no way to stop me! Jonas, > see you at the pay-per-view!

Mike: We'll be right back after this commercial break!

*Commercial for Stunnin Steve brand Hemeroid Cream plays*

Mike: We're back, and wait, what's this?

Larry: The damn lights just went out...

*"When Worlds Collide" by Powerman 5000 starts-up as the lights go out, and the green spotlight shines on the entrance way. TYRANT then walks out, with a mic in hand, and he smiles as he walks down the aisle and climbs into the rings. The music fades, and he begins to speak:*

TYRANT: Shut your damn mouths! All that booing is doing is makin' in so you wont be able to hear what I gotta say, and trust me, *Laughs* you wont want to miss it! Alright, now, I'd like to call out a Mr. Slim Cross, the Commisioner of the NEW. Slim, would you waddle your fat cowboy ass out here please?

*Slim walks out, with a worried look on his face and his own mic, and slowly gets into the ring*

Slim: What's this about TYRANT?

TYRANT: You damn well know what it's about, Cross! You deducted 3,000 bucks from my paycheck. Do you know what happened to the LAST guy that stole money from me? Let's just say they still haven't found him...All of him, anyway. *Laughs*

Slim: You can't intimidate me, TYRANT. I'm your boss, I can fire you any dock any amount of money from your pay ANY time I want! So in other words boy, I OWN you!

TYRANT: *Gets a pissed off look on his face* Ok then, sounds like you've put me in my place...Sorry I mentioned it...

*Slim nods and turns around, and then tries to get out of the ring, but TYRANT grabs him by the back of the neck and picks him up, then slams him down on his face! Post-Mortem!*

TYRANT: Sorry Slim, I don't know what came over me...Enjoy the broken nose. *Laughs*

Slim: *Sits-up as TYRANT starts to leave* No, no, screw you TYRANT! You're fired!

*TYRANT goes back and picks Slim up again, but then "It's All About The Benjamins" by Puff Daddy starts-up and "Big Money" Benjamin G, the owner of the NEW, comes out*

Benjamin G: TYRANT, lay off for a sec, ok big guy? Just listen up for a minute. Slim, I'm sorry about the nose, but think clearly please. You fire TYRANT, and there goes one of our main eventers that quite frankly, we need. TYRANT's the #1 Contender to the World Title, you can't just fire him. > Slim: Get outta here Benny, I'm the Commisioner, I wont stand for this bullsh*t! TYRANT is fired!

Benjamin G: No Slim, he's not. I own the NEW, I say who's fired and who's not! I'm above you, and I say TYRANT stays!

TYRANT: At least one of you fatass idiots has some brains! Now step-off cowboy, before you REGRET your mouth further! Hehhehheh...

*TYRANT leaves the ring, smiling, as the fans boo and Slim Cross is escorted out by security*

Mike: How about that? The #1 Contender for the NEW World Title almost got fired here tonight!

Larry: Looks like trouble brewing in the front office...

Mike: Ah, well. Let's get to our next match featuring the returning Pastor Mark Brian against the former World Champion, Riptide!

(Scene opens as both men are already in the ring. Mark Brain is in the corner praying while Riptide is trying to rally the crowd.)

Ding Ding Ding

Mike Ixnay: Riptide starts out with a kick to the gut of PMB, he follows up with an elbow to PMBs back.

Larry Nabisco: Man, PMB is really showing some rust early. Riptide climbing the turnbuckle. He jumps off, Flying elbow drop.....PMB rolls out of the way.

Mike Ixnay: PMB takes advantage of the opportunity, leg drop onto Riptide. He pulls Riptide up and gives him a Russian Leg Sweep. He puts Riptide into an anckle lock.

Larry Nabisco: Ritide wiggling around, struggling to get out. His wrestling Boot came off! Riptide wrestling with only one boot.

Mike Ixnay: PMB smacks Riptide over the head with the boot. Oh my god, The Good Pastor is goin to town on Riptide with a wrestling boot. Now Brian Steps on Riptides bare foot.

Larry Nabisco: Riptide is out of it. He looks so embarrased. PMB from behind with a roll-up 1...2...Kick out.

Mike Ixnay: Riptide grabs the boot from PMB and puts it back on. Riptide with a b*tch smack to PMB.

Larry Nabisco: Riptide Drop kicks PMB into the corner. Bronco Buster applied by Riptide.

Mike Ixnay: Rip with a roll-up. 1..2..kick out. This match is proving to be most excellent. PmB, starting to get up now, Riptide goes for a spear, PMB dodges Rip and Rip goes flyin head first into the turn buckle.

Larry Nabisco: He's outcold man. PMB climbing the turnbuckle, Oh no he trips on the way down and busts his nads. The rust is starting show now. Both men are laying unconcious on the mat.

Mike Ixnay: Rip crawls over to PMB and lays a hand over him for the pin 1...2...Roll out.

Larry Nabisco: PMB is back up now, he has his second wind. He kicks Rip in the head. Leg drop onto Rip. He pulls Rip up and Power Bombs him. Now he puts Rip into the firemans carry, its the meltdown! PMB is out of breath. He falls down for the pin!

Mike Ixnay: 1...2...3! Pastor Mark Brian wins!!! PMB comes back to the NEW with a huge victory over Riptide!

Larry: That was amazing, looks like the good Pastor is back with a vengeance!

Mike: Right on Larry, and hold on...I'm getting word TYRANT had been attacked backstage!

*One of the camera men runs back to TYRANT's locker room to find him hog tied on the floor with horse sh!t covering his face. Beside him lays a shovel and a t-shirt that says "Hell Hath No Fury Like Hawk Manson!!"*

Nabisco: Mike, thats the shirt the fan had on 2 weeks ago when he attacked TYRANT.

Ixnay: You know, I think youre right. This Farmer John guy means buisness. Can you imagine having horse shit on your face...

Nabisco: Thats fvcking disgusting!!!!!!!

Mike: We'll be right back...

*Commerical for Ru's Hardcore Brewski plays*

Mike: Welcome back, let's get on with the show with a great match featuring The Untouchables, TEI and Trent Michaels, facing The Powers That Be, The Man They Call GRENDEL and the returning Sport Jones!

Mike: Here comes the Untouchables...

("New Breed" By Fear Factory blasts loudly over the p.a. system. The lights go out to black, then red pyros go off and they return to a red. A blood red. On the NEWtron it shows photos of Tei and Trent in blood winning a match. It shows them throughout their careers even in different feds fighting together and against each other. Tei jumps over the apron into the ring and Trent slides under the ropes. Tei sits atop the top turnbuckle and Trent slumps down in a corner, both with mics.)

Tei: The mystery is not of what you like to do to stop the unstoppable, the untouchable...It's what you can do to stop us. Jon, Jones, treated like a sideshow clown. You rotted while I tried to hold you up, then you just drop me. Then, because I retire from EOCW wrestling, because I did all I needed to do, what happens? I'm fired. I was doing a good job for you, and you fire me as booker. Jon, the past exceeds...Me and Trent have known eachother longer then you've been playing with newcomer's minds. Me and Trent we're out there killing eachother and breaking our necks for the fans to continue watching all the way up to the main event you were always in. You were always the jealous type Jon. I came to EOCW, and in only two months I had held 7 DIFFERENT championships. I had done more then anyone in the fed. So, I retired. Then, it seems that as I quit, the fed slowly went down. Soon, slowly, everyone stopped to talk. No one was booking the shows anymore. The fed goes down. You brought it down Jon. You brought it down in the worst way for a fed to be brought down. It was so you could get the money, and you NEVER did anything for the fed. You can't do it without me Jon...How far did you get with...Death Valley? NOWHERE. You looked at me, who was fighting DV and thought, hmm...This kid's got promise. I took you to the top, I carried you on my back to the top. Then, you screw me. Jon, you are the one who is jealous, jealous that you aren't what you say you are, and many people are. Jealous that you are now an old man, a washed up hasbeen. I will make you bleed, in this no DQ match, then you will lose after the 1...

Trent: 2...

Crowd: 3!!!

Trent: Profit$, your humorous fighting will get you nowhere. Mikey, the prince of evil? I am the King of HARDCORE! This will be no DQ, and you guys will feel pain. But, as you are on the mat, getting put on a stretcher after the match, you wonder...Why are we standing there in the ring Un-hurt. Untouched? That's because we're the Untouchables. Now, GRENDEL, a millenium man? The millenium is only a downfall to the ones with the big mouths and big egos. You, Grendel, will have a large downfall. The powers that be are really the powers that were. Pain will come to you, and I will knock you down!

Mike: Strong words from the new guys the Untouchables.

Larry: Now?

Comfortably Numb" by Pink Floyd plays over the p.a. system. Sport Jones runs out and Tei meets him halfway up the isle, they brawl like crazy)

Mike: This is a crazy fight between the two! Jones with rights! Tei with rights! Jones clotheslines Tei over the gaurdrail! Jones joins him in the crowd in this brawl! This is the first time they've seen eachother in person since Jones fired the guy! Jones has a chair! He takes a wild swing at Tei!

Larry: TEI DUCKS AND SPORT KNOCKS OUT A DRUNKEN FAN! Tei with a right jab! Another! A left jab! A right hard punch, and a left cross! A spin and a RIGHT UPPERCUT! Jones is reeling, Tei runs at him! Jones catches him with a clothesline! Right onto the cement! Trent Michaels runs over to Jones?Wait! The lights just went out!

("More human Than Human" By White Zombie plays over the p.a. system. A clock counts down, 5?4?3?2?1?Huge pyros go off! The crowd erupts)

Mike: GRENDEL IS BEHIND TRENT MICHAELS! DON'T TURN AROUND! DON'T TURN AROUND! He turns around, Chokeslam! Here comes Mikey and Bernard! Bernard gets a big boot! Kick to the gut on Mikey, he lifts him up! WAAAY up! Gorilla Press Slam! Grendel kicks Trent in the gut?Powerbomb! He picks up the lifeless Bernard?POWERBOMB! He grabs Mikey?POWERBOMB! To the skies and back down! He has cleared house!

Larry: Meanwhile, Tei and Jones are having a sword fight, or should I say chair fight? Tei knocks the chair away from Jones, WHACK OVER THE HEAD WITH THE CHAIR! Grendel pins all three men in the ring! 1-2-SAVE BY TEI! Man he's fast!

Mike: He sure is. Tei bounces off the ropes?Grendel swings and he ducks, he slides under Grendel's legs, Dropkick to Grendel's knee! Another! Grendel slowly falling down! Tei bounces off the ropes, he goes for an axe kick!

Larry: NO! Grendel caught him in mid-air! He's gonna go for a suplex! Wait! Mikey on top! MIKEY BULLDOG'S TEI WHO'S ON GRENDEL'S SHOULDERS TO THE MAT! HE HIMSELF DOUBLE BULLDOGGED TWO GUYS!!!

Mike: Not just any two, Tei and Grendel! That was the first time I've ever seen that move! Mikey now helps up the seemingly lifeless Bernard. Trent is getting up?Double Clothesline on Trent! Sport is now back to the ring and Grendel's back up! The two hit double spears on Mikey and Bernard! Oh man, they are out! Jones with a DDT on Tei! Jones pins Tei?1-kickout! How?

Larry: I dunno! Grendel Now powerbombs Tei! A pin! 1-2-thr-kickout! WHAAAT?!?!?

Mike: Uhh?What amazing resiliency Tei has shown! Sport going for the Fisherman's Angler now on Tei! Double axe-handle from behind by Trent! Whatta save! Grendel with a clothesline on Trent! Now on HTM's partner! He pins Tei and HTM nonchalantly! 1-2-kickout! By both men! Grendel is now mad! Chokeslam on Tei! Powerbomb on Trent! Powerbomb on Bernard! Powerbomb on Mikey! Now Tei in the corner trying to rest up?Jones hits the Slam Dunk on Bernard! He pins right in front of Tei!

Larry: Bad idea!

Mike: No kidding! Tei with a poke to the eyes to break the pin before it starts! Tei crawls on top of Jones?punches! Repeated punches! Tei is just pounding on Jones! Grendel's grabs him by the back of the neck! Wait! Mikey with a boot to the nuts from behind on Grendel! OH MY GOD! Mikey had a barbedwire boot on!

Larry: Brings back memories of Fuego don't it?

Mike: Now Trent and Tei with a double team on Mikey! Trent nails him with a barbedwire steel baseball bat! They pick him up, double DDT! Tei and Trent go to the outside?

Larry: Tei and Trent both have chairs...Trent throws the chair to Grendel and Tei throws the other chair over to Sport Jones...DOUBLE VANDAMINATOR!!!

Mike: Bernard sneaks a pin on the fallen Grendel...1...2...kickout!

Larry: WHOO! Not just a kickout, Grendel threw him across the ring! GRENDEL IS ALIVE!!!

Mike: He grabs Mikey, and he grabs Tei, DOUBLE CHOKESLAM TO THE OUTSIDE OF THE RING!!!

Larry: Trent Michaels is on the top rope! Grendel turns around...Missle Dropkick! Grendel is right back up! He kicks Trent into the gut?POWERBOMB!!!

Mike: Jones now grabs Trent...Fisherman's Angler! 1! 2! thre-SAVE by Tei! Tei pounding on Sport, fists to the face, more...more...DROPKICK! Grendel goes to get Tei, but Trent pulls him to the outside! Wait! A cage is lowering! Only Tei and Sport are in it! Now Tei sets up a table in the corner...Jones goes for a spear into the table...Tei moves! Tei sets up a table in the middle of the ring?Tei grabs a chair...He puts Jones on the table?HE GOES TO THE TOP OF THE CAGE! TEI WITH AN ARABIAN FACEBUSTER OFF THE TOP OF THE CAGE ONTO SPORT THROUGH THE TABLE!!!

Larry: Now Tei makes his way out of the cage, it's now raising!

Mike: Now the Profit$ and Untouchables are all brawling in the isleway! WAIT!

Larry: OH MY GOD!!!

Mike: Tei just hit Trent with a chair! Blatently!!! He locks on...WAIT! That's the LIGHTS OUT! Oh my god!!!

Larry: Now Tei sets up a table, He sets it on fire! Mikey and Tei DOUBLE POWERBOMB TRENT THROUGH THE FLAMING TABLE!!! Jade runs out from nowehre in the middle of the isle and pins Trent!

Mike: 1...2...3! TEI TAKES OFF HIS MASK! OH MY GOD! IT'S TREY REED! LOOK AT THAT SICK BYTCH! DAMN HIM!

(The crowd boos like crazy and then seconds later Jonas and Poe runs out, Jonas with a chair)

Mike: JONAS HAS RUSHED THE RING! He takes out Mikey! Now Bernard! Trey Reed and Jade ditch and grab Mikey and take him with them, Bernard now follows...

Larry: Jonas has a mic!

Jonas: Jade...You are a betrayer...Trey, you are a betrayer...*Looks at Trent* You, and I have both been abandoned...I feel your pain friend. I feel your loneliness. I feel your feeling. We are the great ones, that they turn their backs on. We are the Fallen...Join me...arise...Trevor Haven!!!

(Trent is helped up by Jonas, the three walk to the back...)

Mike: The Fallen? Trevor Haven? The betrayel? What the??? Well, The Profit$ have one this one...And Jones and Grendel are MAD! But wait, what's this??? That's Ares! And Shawn Steele! They have just entered the ring from the audience, they're behind Jones and GRENDEL! The Powers turn around, Ares catches Sport Jones with the Mars DDT! Steele catches Grendel with his own DDT! Ares and Shawn Steele are back! The Powers That Be are out!

Larry: What a night!

Mike: Oh great, first all that and now I'm told TYRANT's on his way out! Ares and Shawn Steele are out of the ring, and the PTB are following fast!

"When Worlds Collide" by Powerman 5000 starts-up, making the fans boo as TYRANT stomps out, furious at what happened to him earlier. He choke slams the ring announcer and grabs his mic, and then begins to talk

TYRANT: Ok, Hehhehheh, alright, NOW I'm pissed off! First, I almost get fired because sheep-f*cker Cross can't find the stick in his ass, and then Farmer John, probably related to Cross, blindsides me in the back with a Goddamn shovel and rubs sh*t in my face! *The fans cheer* Oh, yeah, cheer now but after I'm done crippling Cross for fun, and then breaking the Farmer's neck, you'll all see how funny it is. John, we don't even know if that's your real name, but the point is, you hit me in the name of Hawk Manson, so now we know where you stand. *Laughs* The thing is, Death by Desire is ironically enough, Dead on Arrival! Hawk Manson's gone, I retired his ass for GOOD! And Tombstone? All you pathetic fans may think he's back with what happened last week, but I gotta surprise for you! Hehhehheh...That was ME that attacked Maxx Millions, it was ME that impersonated him, just to get all your hopes up. Tombstone is still in the Hospital, eating through a tube. Why? Oh yeah, because I KICKED HIS ASS! *The fans boo louder than ever at this revelation* Hahhahhah...Yeah, Tomby is still out, and will remain that way for GOOD!

Just then, to a good pop, Farmer John walks out with a smile on his face and a shovel in one hand and a mic in the other

John: TYRANT...You may have impersonated Tombstone last week, but what about two weeks ago? I'm sure you all remember that woman's voice come over the NEW Tron, and that voice told you all to call a name. You didn't know who to call, but now you do...So without further ado...

The NEW Tron then flashes and to a huge pop, Heather appears on the screen! She has an angry look on her face, and she seems to stare right at the surprised TYRANT

Heather: CALL HIS NAME!

Fans: TOMBSTONE! TOMBSTONE! TOMBSTONE! TOMBSTONE!

The lights go out, and the fans continue to cheer Tombstone's name, then the lights come on and the roof blows off the building, but why? The camera focused on TYRANT...

Farmer John: Look behind you, big man!

TYRANT looks behind him, and it's Tombstone! He's back! He's back! Tombstone has appeared out of nowhere, he's dressed in a leather trench coat and a Cowboy hat, and he just drew a six-shooted on TYRANT! The gun is pointed right at the startled monster's forehead! TYRANT backs off and tries to make Tombstone lower the gun with gestures of his hands, but the icy stare of Tombstone remains locked-on his nemesis, as well as the six-shooter

TYRANT: Hey, uh, Tomb! Long time no see buddy! Hehhehheh...Uh, you mind pointing that thing somewhere else? Tomb?

Tombstone just shakes his head and continues to stare right through TYRANT, but then he lowers his gun a little and shoots right next to TYRANT's feet, making him jump back and fall on his ass! The fans cheer, and Tombstone walks closer to TYRANT and he stands over him and points the gun at his head once again. The fans then pop loudly once again, and Heather walks out to a huge ovation! Farmer John walks to the ring with her, and John pulls-out a thick rope that was tied to his belt. Heather gets in the ring and stands next to Tombstone as he holds the gun in place making sure TYRANT doesn't move, and then Farmer John grabs TYRANT's arm, but TYRANT pulls back, but Tombstone arms his six-shooter and TYRANT is forced to let John tie his arms to the ring ropes

John: See TYRANT, this is what you get. You didn't think your actions would come back to haunt you, but there's just some things you can't kill. Death by Desire is back, and better than ever, and anyone that wants to try and do a damn thing about it is going to REGRET it, as you say TYRANT! Hahhahhah...You broke Tomb's bones, you shed his blood, but his spirit is stronger than TEN of you monsters! Have a nice night, TYRANT!

Heather then laughs and flips TYRANT the double-bird, then she cracks him across the jaw with a closed fist to a big pop, but TYRANT just smiles and spits blood out of his mouth and nods his head as Tombstone and Heather walk out of the ring. After they're gone, TYRANT breaks free, stands-up, and walks to the back

Mike: What a show! Tombstone and Heather have returned to the NEW, and it looks like a new beginning to the heated feud between Tomb and TYRANT!

Larry: Yeah, but did you notice Tomb didn't say a word? And he looked a little under the weather...

Mike: Good point, maybe he's not 100%? He hasn't been gone long enough, in my oppinion, to heal all the injuries TYRANT gave him.

Larry: I guess we'll see, time will tell if Tombstone is ready to come back yet...

Mike: We'll be right back with our Main Event!

*Commercial for Jade Diamond's Silk Shirts plays*

Mike: We are back, and it's time for our Main Event! Ru faces Trent Raven in a Birdcage Match, and the Hardcore Championship is on the line!

Larry: Kiiiiiick ass...The match opens as the view shows the steel cage on the ground, spotlights shine all around it to show it's deadliness. Weapons of all kinds are being tossed into it by the ring crew, steel chairs, a sledge hammer, a few tables...This is going to be a warzone. "" by starts-up and Trent Raven, the challenger for the Hardcore Title, comes out to a good reception and steps into the cage, then sits in the corner. "Ressurection" by Fear Factory then begins, and the Hardcore Champion, Ru, makes his way out to a big pop. Ru raises his arms and then goes back behind the curtain to get his shopping cart full of goodies to an even bigger pop! From here the cameras can see a hubcap, a baseball bat, a tire iron, and much more dangerous items! Ru pushes the shopping cart into the cage and kicks it over, spilling the contents on the floor. Trent looks up at his opponent and just smiles as Ru looks down at him and does the same. The cage is then locked shut by an official, but then "Smells Like Teen Spirit" by Tori Amos starts-up and J J Hart walks out to a chorus of boos! JJ comes out and claps for Trent, who is now shaking his head in embarrassment. The official gives it an A-OK, and the caged ring along with Trent Raven and Ru begins to lift-off fifty feet into the air, and JJ cheers on below. The cage makes a haunting creeking sound as it comes to a hault, and the cameras in the rafters position themselves and the bell rings, signaling the beginning of the match: DING! DING! DING!

Mike: Ok ladies and gents, this Birdcage match is underway and the Hardcore Title is on the line! Remember, the only way for either man to win is for them to get out of the cage, and on to the floor fifty feet below, without dying, of course! Ru looks like he's going to start things off with a steel chair in hand, and Trent stands-up out of the corner and grabs one of his own! Both men circle the ring, their eyes locked on each other, and now the charge! Dueling chairs now, the steel cracks together as both men are trying to take each other's heads off!

Larry: Oh, and it looks like Ru gets the upper-hand here, he just ducked a shot from Raven and crunched him in the gut with the end of that chair!

Mike: Trent buckled over, and now Ru cracks the chair right on his back! Ru throws the chair away, and begins to stomp right to the spine of Raven, and now a jumping elbow-drop to the back of his neck! Ru knows this thing isn't even close to over, so he grabs a baseball bat! But Trent comes up from behind to everyone's surprise with a Cloathsline! Now Trent with furious kicks to Ru's back and sides, and now with the pick-up by the hair, and Trent sends Ru right back down with a hard right to the jaw! Raven now going for a lamp post, he raises it up and brings it down hard across Ru's side!

Larry: Ru looks resiliant here, he's up on one knee and Raven's still beating on him with that lamp post! Looks like Ru's trying to block-out the pain, but Trent give him one last crack, and then runs across the ring, Hart Attack! Ru's head just bounced off the canvas and Raven is back up!

Mike: I guess that one was for JJ Hart, he's down here going nuts right now.

JJ Hart: That's Trent for ya! Always thinkin' of his friends!

Mike: That's great JJ...Anyway, Trent's on top of Ru beating the crap out of him with flying fists, and now a big head-butt from Trent busts-open Ru's forehead! Raven gets up and reaches for a tire-iron, but Ru knocks him down with a Drop Toe-Hold! Raven's face smashed down on top of one of the steel chairs, now he's cracked open! Both men bleeding and on the mat trying to get up, they charge each other again and lock-up, and Ru grabs Trent in a Head-Lock, and now a takeover onto a ladder! Ru now choking Raven, but Trent reaches-up and punches him in the eye! Raven stands on top of the ladder and performs a Drop-Kick, knocking Ru down on top of a pile of weapons!

Larry: Trent's now jumping on top of Ru again, and he smashes his elbow into Ru's jaw over and over again! This has quickly become a bloody war!

Mike: Raven stands-up momentarily and Ru kicks him to the mat! Ru quickly grabs the baseball bat, and he cracks it across Raven's ribcage! Trent Raven is now down and looks unconcious, and the bloody mess Ru is setting up some tables! Three tables were folded in a corner, and now Ru is setting them all up, and he's stacking them on top of each other! Ru must be a bit disoriented though, because he doesn't notice Trent Raven setting up a ladder behind him! Trent Raven climbs up the ladder, waiting for Ru to turn around, but Ru quickly turns around and jumps onto the ladder! Raven and Ru are now battling on the ladder trading punches, and they're both on the top rungs! Raven catches Ru with a punch in the gut, and OH MY GOD!!!! Trent Raven just DDTed Ru right through the three stacked tables!!! These fans are on their feet!!

Larry: Ru is out cold! There's no getting up from that!

Mike: Trent Raven is now trying to get up from the wreckage, and Ru is laying motionless! Raven is climbing the cage with all he has left, and now he's no the other side, but how's he going to get down?

Larry: Well, it looks like he's going for the rafters, he's reaching over, and yes! Raven has ahold of one of the railing bars, and he's let go of the cage!

Mike: Very high risk right here, Trent Raven grabs the railing bars with both hands and pulls himself up with amazing upper body strength! Raven is in the rafters! He's on his feet! And now all he has to do is walk down to the arena floor, and he wins the Hardcore Title, and Ru is still out cold! Something is wrong here...

Larry: Yeah, that was a great move, but usually Ru gets back up after these things...

Mike: And Raven is down! Trent Raven is the new NEW Hardcore Champion! JJ Hart has joined the new Champ as he collapses on the floor, and the Birdcage is now being lowered down, and some paramedics have arrived on the sceen. JJ Hart and the Referee are raising Trent Raven's arms as he grasps his new Hardcore Title, and the ring is now down and the paramedics are checking out Ru...

Larry: Looks like they're getting the pieces of table out of the way, I wonder if we can get a camera in closer...

Mike: Looks like we can Larry, let's see if we can hear some more of what's going on...

Paramedic: Are you alright? Where are you? Do you know your name?

Ru: Shut the fvck up! I can't feel my fvcking legs! I can't move my fvcking arms!

Paramedic: Calm down son, we'll get you to a hospital stat! Get a stretcher up here now!

Mike: Oh no...Ru was saying he couldn't move his arms or legs, this is terrible...

Larry: Ru could be paralysed! That DDT through those three tables...Man, this sucks...

Mike: The paramedics have put a neckbrace on Ru and are now carrying him out on a stretcher. The fans are chanting his name, but it looks like Ru's lost conciousness again. How horrible this is. Fans, for Larry Nabisco, I'm Mike Ixnay and this has been NEW Monday Night Masscare. Goodnight, and thanks for watching. We'll give you an update on Ru's condition as soon as possible...

*Cut to Copyright*