September 21, 1998

How is everything? I am not to bad myself. Well, actually, I am a little tired and ready for a mid-day nap, but today is a busy day and I won't have time for that. Actually, I am kind of tired of typing letters right now, not to offend you or anything, but I am... and so I don't know how much of a letter this is going to be. I actually feel like not talking about anything at the momonet so I may just blabber on about nothing for a little while cause I have nothing to say... But, that would be a waste of space, so let's move on, shall we?

I talked to Dr. Child about my hands on Sunday, and he said that he was going to try to get me in to see one of his friends who has a Mission Office some time soon... so we will have to wait and see what happens with that. As for my hands, they still hurt, but I am getting used to it. The only thing that bothers me at the current moment is that I have to wear those stupid braces at night and they are starting to leaves scars on my hands, and yes, I am wearing them right, I have just been doing it for so long now that I am beginning to get irritated... the skin, and the mind. Anyhow, as for other news...

Elder Hammond leaves Mission this Wednesday and I will be getting a new companion on Thursday, so I have some members planned to stay with during the day on Wednesday... Also in the Mission news, is that they are thinking about splitting my area into two areas. Yes, a Mission North and a Mission Norther. He he he... It is about time is all that I can say about that. It is really hard to keep up with all the work that almost 200 square miles produces. We get so many referrals, that if they aren't home the day we get the referral, we probably won't get the chance to call them for another week. And that is rediculous... But, should the area split, it would also mean a new car for Mission... and maybe I would get it... cross your fingers.

As for the people that we are teaching right now, they are all super... and thanks to some recent families that we have found, my spanish is growing again... it had been awhile since I last taught anything in Spanish because all of the media referrals that we get are in English. So that is that.

Jake
Emperor of Everything.

October 26, 1998

I have had a very interesting week... first off I must tell you of the war that I have declared in my apartment. Well... General Dixon and I got tired of our apartment being a boarding house for roaches and assorted vermin... so we declared war on them... this is the story of the war to this point... arranged by day for convenience...

Day 1: While taking a trip to the refridgerator for a midnite drink, General Naylor noticed from the corner of his eye, a large mass of darkness in the kitchen corner, somewhat illuminated by the light of the fridge. When he moved closer to investigate, the mass charged at him and then ran down the hall... (General Naylor ran down the hall in the opposite direction).

Day 2: While at home for a lunch break General Naylor sought after a short nap on the couch, and thus leaned his head against the wall... shortly thereafter the evil beast began to scratch the wall directly behind his head... so General Naylor's nap was spoiled and the two generals went back to work. Upon coming home slightly early the very next day, and still having a recollection of the beast in his mind, General Naylor headed for the bedroom... when the lights went on... General Naylor found to his horror, the beast was in his room... once again the beast charged after the General and then after General Dixon who was on his way into the bedroom when the beast and General Naylor (trying to follow him this time) nearly knocked him down. The two generals were somewhat agitated by this experience and thus were very upset at not being able to sleep due to the beast's evil scratching of the walls ALL NIGHT LONG.

Day 3: War was declared. General Naylor purchased beast catching traps, and General Dixon purchased Roach bait. Upon returning home from the store... General Naylor began to set up the Beast traps, when he heard a muffled cry from General Dixon... Racing to the bathroom to help he found a General Dixon behind an in-wall laundry hamper bin that had been pulled out to reveal a large snake of unknown classification... unknown because as soon as General Naylor saw the snake, the bin was pushed back into the wall... and the attack for the snake was put onto the back burners... You see, what is worse, a beast in the bedroom or a snake in the bathroom... Today the opposing forces of the unwanted guests were also named in the following manner... Roaches: Footsoldiers of the beast. The Beast: The Beast. The Snake and his reptilian legion (legion is used because of the great number of reptiles that live in our apartment): Jorge and the Lizzard Children. Day 4: The beast was not captured... Although he did manage to chew a hole through an exceptionally large bottle of oil... thus the entire kitchen and hall have a very slippery coating. The traps for the Beast were re-arranged.... The footsoldiers had one casualty. Jorge signs a peace treaty towards us and we allow him to hunt down and eat the footsoldiers.

Day 5: 3:50 a.m. The beast is captured by one of the ingenious traps of the Great General Naylor, the only problem is that the traps are too small... thus the following occurred. At 3:50 a.m. the beast's tail falls into a glue pit strategically located between a toaster and a crock pot in the kitchen. Struggling to free himself, the beast knocks the toaster off of the counter, to which General Naylor awakes... before General Naylor is able to get up, the crock pot is moved and the beast falls off of the counter and on to the floor. Then the beast proceedes to run down the hall draggin the trap behind him... When he reaches the end of the hall the trap gets stuck in the doorway, and the beast trys to pull himself out of the trap... At this point, General Naylor enters the scene... General Dixon is still asleep... The beast sees General Naylor and begins to frantically pull at himself to free himself... General Naylor arrives on the scene and before he can decide what to do, the beast frees himself and runs down the hall and under the kitchen oven. General Naylor goes to bed, angry once again.

Day 6: Monday the 26 of October, I have not been home as of yet... The beast is still at large. Well, that is pretty much the exciting part of this week...

The only other news is that I was sick all week long... and still have a cough... hoping to rid myself of that pretty soon.... But enough of that, I will talk to you later...


Jake
Emperor of Everything.

November 2, 1998

Dear Everyone:

Hi there. How are you doing? I am good... I had a much better week this week than I did last week... As for the rodent problem... the beast is still at large... but we know that he is still roaming the place because General Dixon saw him last night when we got home. The work is going well... It doesn't look like there will be anymore baptisms in Mission before I leave... I have a feeling that I will be leaving soon... Let's say, two weeks.

Well, I really must appologize but there is not anything really new that has happened this last week... so I don't really have that much to say... Oh well... I am sorry... maybe next week will be more interesting...

The only thing that you might find of interest is that we taught more discussions this last week than I have ever taught in one week... so that is going good... But I suppose that is about it.

I love you.

Jake
Emperor of Everything.