Nedster's Film and TV Vat

Oh, the X-Files. The X-Files. The X-Files. I'm overcome with love for the X-Files. Here are some links.

What else? I think that's all there is to say. Oh, no! I'm wrong! Here are some of my favourite episodes, complete with title, weird number-thing, little descriptive bit, and thing to watch for. Some of them have been chosen simply for one scene that's so good I couldn't fail to include it.

Jose Chung's 'From Outer Space'	3X20	Hilarious. But only for people like me.	Bizarre direction
Syzygy	3X13	Two hormone-crazed high-school girls kill everyone they hate. Like Carrie except far, far cooler.	The 'Hate him, hate him, wouldn't wanna date him' chant
The Host	2X02	Mutant worm-man kills people. With Darin Morgan in a worm-costume!	The freaky bit where the guy's brushing his teeth and spews up a worm
Post Modern Prometheus	5X01	Hilarious. But only for people like me. And filmed entirely in black and white. And with Cher.	Mulder and Scully dance at the end!
Blood	2X03	Unexplained freaky thing uses LED screens to take over people's minds.	The kooky final scene
Kill Switch	5X01	William Gibson wrote this one. Not very original, though. About a sentient computer. That kills people.	Punk Hacker Girl. The look for the millenium!
The Unlikely Suspects	5X01	It's got the Lone Gunmen in it! And they're cool!	Byers as a conformist!
Home	4X03	Crazy inbred people with shack full of deathtraps! A recipe for coolness.	Vomit-worthy deformations
Sanguinarium	4X06	Satan-worshipping plastic surgeon!	Serioulsy icky liposuction scene
Bad Blood	5X01	Hilarious, but only for people like me. And with vampires.	Impecccable self-parody
Musings of a Cigarette-Smoking Man	4X07	Hilarious, but only for people like me. And really touching. And stylishly apocryphal.	Cancer Man gets a life!
3	2X07	Lots of vampire serial-killers do scary things	Mulder gets laid!
Never Again	4X13	Crazy man gets told to kill by his own tattoo (voiced by Jodie Foster)	Scully gets laid!
D.P.O	3X03	Teenager has power to control electricity. And lightning. And stuff.	Shocking cow death.
War of the Coprophages	3X12	Mass hysteria about alien robot cockroaches.	Bambi...
The Field Where I Died	4X05	Suicide cults and past lives	The scene where Mulder walks through the bodies is indescribable
Small Potatoes	4X20	Shape-shifting rapist! With Darin Morgan in a shape shifiting rapist costume!	Mulder and Scully nearly kiss!

Hooray! The 'cool episodes' thing for Buffy is finally here! Again with the episode title, a little summary-type-thing and then my favourite bit from the episode.

Welcome To The Hellmouth	The very first episode.	We meet lots of the people we now know and love for the very first time
The Harvest	Buffy gets involved in her first real adventure.	"Day-light... isn't for another seven hours, you dolt!" swish swish swish schcrrplt!
The Pack	Very funny episode with evil hyena-spirits	Xander eats a live pig
I Robot - You Jane	Fantastic title, and Alyson Hannigan (Willow) gets a chance to shine.	Moloch in his robot body smashing his way through a wall
School Hard	Best 'feel-good' episode of Buffy, as well as the introduction of Spike, the coolest villain. In anything. Ever.	"Get the hell away from my daughter!"
Surprise	Buffy and Angel battle the Judge, a big killer smurf-thing.	Buffy and Angel get it on, with unpleasant consequences
Innocence	Angel turns evil and Buffy kills the Judge	"Cannot be killed with any weapon forged..." Yeah, right.
Passion	We see how evil Angelus really is	The end... so, so sad...
Becoming pt. 2	Angelus tries to suck the entire world into Hell	"You know... uh... 'get the hell away from my daughter!'" and also the climactic swordfight.
Faith, Hope And Trick	Faith and Trick arrive in Sunnydale.	Faith, we love you!
Homecoming	Buffy and Cordelia get hunted through the woods by lots of evil things.	Cordelia bluffing it with the remaining Gorch
Lover's Walk	Spike is back! Spike si back!	"Home... ugh... sweet... home..." thump!
Helpless	The Watcher's Council does an evil thing to Buffy	The Robert Harris-esque main vampire
Bad Girls	Buffy and Faith have fun.	Buffy and Faith dancing.
The Freshman	Buffy goes to College.	Sunday and her gang.
The Harsh Light Of Day	Spike comes back to Sunnydale.	Spike goes out with the ring.
The Initiative	Buffy finds out about the Initiative.	The massive underground James Bond-esque secret base.

It's based on the 1992 film, which sucked beyond description, in case you didn't know. Don't get them confused. By the way, I have a signed photo of Sarah Michelle Gellar, by the way! Yes I do! Yes I do! And now for some links.

Yes. Here's a Star Trek section. I made it, and I'm proud. You may despise us. You may revile us. You may outcast us. But one day we will rule the world! Yes! Yes! WE WILL RULE ALL! Bwahahahaha!

My favourite film ever. The word innumerable comes a very small way to describing a tiny fraction of the amount of mediocre films there are. Then there are lots and lots of good films. And lots of great films. But the number of Great films is such that you could brutally cut all someone's fingers off, and then one would still almost be able to count them on one hand.

Edward Scissorhands is one such Great film. It's touching, and funny, and perfectly formed.

The two Batman films are great. (There are technically four Batman films, but the other two such frail imitations that if someone sneezed within four hundred miles of them they'd be ripped into their component atoms). Jack Nicholson rocks in Batman, and Danny DeVito rocks even more in Batman Returns. Everyone in the next two 'films' bites, largely because they're not directed by Tim Burton.

The next part of what is rapidly turning into a treatise on the music of Danny Elfman, who, in my opinion, was perfect for the Batman films and Edward Scissorhands, three fantastic gothic fairytales, but was an awful choice for To Die For, which is more of a blackly comedic urban myth. Which is very cool. And hilarious. And has the best credits sequence of any film. Ever. By far.

Hellraiser is great. Even if it's basically an incoherent series of images. I regularly use the phrase 'The boundaries between pleasure and pain are easily crossed' in conversation. It disconcerts some, but that's their problem.

The Alien franchise. Yay! I've not seen Aliens, Alien 3, and Alien Ressurection, so it's no longer so pathetic for me to read all the books and have all the merchandise. And Aliens and Alien Resurrection were really amazing, by the way. Borg Xenomorphs! They would rock! Yes! They would! Yes yes yes! And Tribble/Alien hybrids! Ooh baby! That's a thought, actually: now they're making Yoda Furbies, they could make Alien Furbies.

Bless my soul, what a great film The Game is. I've sent innumerable pretentious things about it to the Internet Movie Database. See it. Now. Now! Don't daudle! Don't read the next bit! Go and see it!