Hello. Welcome. Sorry about the introduction. I suppose you were expecting fireworks, brimstone, that sort of thing. But to be honest, I'm a bit depressed. Its not been one of my better days. I've just had to accept...defeat.
Maybe I set my sights too high. Tempting the Son of God was always bound to be tough. And, er, it was.
I think that I stuck to my task well - forty days in the desert we spent together. And it was hot! No, not as hot as here, of course, but I felt jolly uncomfortable.
Anyway I thought he was going to make my work easier when he started to fast. He ate absolutely nothing. So I waited a few days until he would have been really hungry and then started to create visions of breads and meat and wine and sweetmeats and all sorts of lovely things to eat. My tummy was rumbling!
Then I whispered in his ear. "If you are God's son, order this stone to turn into bread." Yes, I thought it was rather clever too. Er, no, he didn't turn the stone into bread. he just said "The Bible says 'Man cannot live on bread alone' " and went on praying.
But I didn't give up! Instead I made his head spin by showing him in a second all the kingdoms of the world, with all their beauties and treasures and resources. "This all belongs to me" I said. Not strictly true I know but all's fair in love and war. "I can give you all of this, if you worship me." I thought I would really have him with that - its worked so many times before!
But he just looked at me and said "The Bible says 'Worship the Lord your God and serve only Him'" and went on praying.
Right, I thought, this deserves one more try. I took him to the highest point overlooking Jerusalem and said 'OK if you really are God's son - prove it! Throw yourself down. God will send his angels to take care of you. It says so in Psalm 91. I know my Bible too you know. But, oh, he didn't even falter. "The Bible says" he told me, again "do not put the Lord your God to the test".
Well, I was speechless. Me. To be honest I just slunk away. I decided to leave him alone for a while. And when I've stopped feeling sorry for myself, I'll think of something else...Now go away and leave me alone.