What do you get if you cross a policeman with a ghost?
A police in-spectre!

What would you get if a monster trod on Batman and Robin?
Flatman and Ribbon!

What skeleton was Emperor of France?
Napoleon Bone-apart!

Who's the most important member of a ghost football team?
The ghoulie!

What's the best thing to do with a green alien?
Wait until he is ripe!

What do you call a clever monster?
Frank Einstein!

What's a vampire's favourite fruit?
Necktarines!

What do vegetarian cannibals eat?
Swedes!

What is a monster's favourite game?
Swallow my leader!

What's the difference between a monster and a biscuit?
You can't dip a monster in your milk!