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19 September 98 Saturday

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All evening I spent drawing the diagrams that I felt I needed to illustrate Thursday's Journal entry, and now it's Saturday morning. It takes me a while when I get to drawing. I get fascinated and start messing with the bits, rearranging things-- I'm working with Paint. It's not very sophisticated, but I've done some really neat stuff with it. I have a disk full of tiny .bmp files that make great wallpaper, for instance. I also did a lot of neat scenes and landscapes and some cool geometric Escheresque stuff, but I "lost" all the big files when my hard drive crashed last winter. The files are still here, on the old hard drive, which is sitting right under the new drive, but since it's very wonky it isn't plugged in, and I can't get to all the pictures I drew back when I was really losing my mind. When I'm very upset I like to draw, especially on the computer. I can sit for hours on end, creating pictures, literally bit by bit. Most people would go crazy from doing that, but I find the intense concentration very restful. I suppose you could call it Autistic Therapy. Whatever, I was having a very bad time two years ago (life falling apart, things like that) and I spent almost every evening on the computer drawing, drawing, drawing-- I had one heck of a dandy Christmas/Hannukah card that year. If I can find a copy of it, I'll have my friend Lew scan it and you'll see. Anyway, tonight I spent five hours working on the diagrams, listening to Johnny's Greatest Hits, enjoying every mindless moment. But now I'm tired and that's why I'm going to wait until tomorrow to finish putting together Thursday's entry. Good night!