-Beth-
The questions kept filling my head and my concentration level was at zero. I opened my locker and a saw a few people pointing and whispering about me. I knew that they were talking about the little Taylor-slapping incident and me, but it wasn’t really bothering me very much. I needed to talk to him so badly. The bell rang for homeroom. I found it almost impossible for so many bad things to have already happened this early in the morning.
I sat down next to Alicia and she gave me this look like “Start explaining everything right now or I will kill you”, but I ignored her looks, set my bookbag down on the desk and then went to Taylor. He looked up from his little ‘group’ of friends that flocked around him every morning. They were all looking at me, too.
“I need to talk to you.” We both said at the same time. He stood and stepped away from the group of guys. Our eyes searched each others. He grabbed his books and I got my bookbag. The teacher was sitting at her desk and I told her that Taylor and I was going to the library for the homeroom period. She nodded and marked down on the attendance sheet that we were present. Once in the hallway, I took Taylor’s hand and he looked into my eyes, smiling.
We reached the library and I noticed that it was nearly empty. I was relived because I didn’t want too many people to be around. I chose a table to sit at towards the back of the library, secluded from the front desk.
“Tay, I’m sorry that I slapped you.” I said. He shook it off as if it was nothing.
“I’m sorry that Jaime was being such a dick. He said that he was just testing you.”
“Jaime was only testing me? God, I felt so horrible when he said that.” I said.
“I wanted to rip his head off. I never said that about you. You have to believe me, Beth.” Taylor pleaded with me. I smiled.
“I do believe you, but why would he say that in the first place?” I wondered. Taylor looked like he knew something and that he wanted to tell me, but he didn’t say anything. “Tell me what you’re thinking.” I demanded.
“Well…” he started. He stopped, not saying anything more.
“Taylor, don’t even--”
“Ok, here’s the thing…all the guys think that I’m using you, but I’m not. I would never use you, never. But, for some reason, they think I am because of,” he stopped for a few seconds. “Because of my past with girls and everything.”
“What about your past with girls?” I pretended like I didn’t know about all his little 2-week relationships. In a way, I wanted to think that Alicia was only making them up to try to get me not to start to like Taylor again. Hearing the words come from his lips would be like confirming that it was true.
“I guess that you can say that I was never really serious about anyone after you moved away. I had a lot, and I mean like, tons of girlfriends. I wouldn’t even consider them girlfriends because I never even had feelings for them, I was just, well, using them.” He explained.
“Using them for what?” I asked. What a sly way of getting out the answers. Alicia had told me that there were several sexual stories from some of the girls that he used to go out with and I wanted to know if he was still … pure or not.
His cheeks reddened as I asked that question and that’s when I knew that he wasn’t a virgin anymore. I was honestly shocked. I crossed my arms over my chest and leaned back in the chair that I was sitting in. Taylor looked ashamed.
“For sex?” I asked a little too loudly. I didn’t mean for my voice to be so loud, it was an accident. A student sitting at the table next to us looked up from the book he was looking in and then nonchalantly began to eavesdrop. His face turned even redder.
“Beth, after you moved away, I never thought that I would see you again. And the actual chances of you moving back to Tulsa and ending up coming to the same school as me were really slim! I had no earthly idea that I would ever see you again and if I would, I never thought that we would be back together.”
“So I was right?” I asked. He lowered his head, then nodded. I became furious. “Please elaborate Taylor, just how many girls have you fucked?”
“Don’t be angry at me for what I did after you left.” He begged.
“You didn’t answer my question.”
“This isn’t the time or place to be having this conversation.” He interjected.
“Why not?”
“Fine, do you really want to know?” he asked, his voice raising slightly. The kid that was sitting at the table next to us reminded us that we were in a library and to keep our voices down. I glared at him, not caring where we were. This was going to be said now, and I didn’t care if we were in the stupid library or not.
I could not believe anything that had happened so far today. Why did I jump to conclusions with Taylor? Why did I just kiss Isaac? Why was I feeling all these little butterflies flying around in my stomach when I thought back about kissing Isaac? Why had I believed that kid when he said that about Taylor?