Check out Hyde's
belt buckle...It's a buckeye leaf, right? Go Ohio State Bucks! Oh great,
now the Smileys are floating! What are they saying? "...if you hate
the hair on your ass so much, why don't you shave it off?..." "...Pinciotti
the underdog, up by five, she fakes right, she fakes left, she fakes right,
then left, she fakes faking right, and fakes left, now she *actually* fakes
right..." "Donna, what are you doing?" "Running out
the clock." "There is no clock." "...*swoosh* Sucker!"
All decked
out and ready to party? No. Eric seems like he would rather smash the disco
ball than watch his mom do the Hustle again. Now, Eric, the only way you
are allowed to smash the ball is if you aim for Jackie's head. Just kiddin'.
Too messy. Wilmer sure looks different as a 90's guy. But he's a wild and
crazy guy any way it goes. Smile Kelso. Your gettin' some.
Now, the question
is, are we looking through a fisheye lens or is Eric repelling the camera-man?
Eric, are your little friend's drinks on coasters? Alright, who kicked
Kelso in the nuts? Or does Jackie just have the leash too tight? Watch
it Fez, those Lava-Lamps get hot! Or are you just thinking that Jackie
gets you that hot?
And what is everyone
thinking during this shot? Jackie has Kelso whooped. Kelso is wondering
why he wasn't hired at Fatso Burger. Steve is just waiting for prison.
Fez is happy to be with his whores. Eric's bein' suave. Donna's tired.
She hasn't been able to sleep well without a scrawny little neighbour boy
next to her.
Isn't it weird how
the chicks from Charley's Angels (?) live in Hooterville? Jackie seems
to be really enthused and Kelso, mop up that drool, boy! "...Dear
Penthouse..." Now is Eric imagining Donna as his own Eric's Angel?
"Hey Eric, I got this new Bikini and think it's too small. Can I model
it for you?"
And next up
on Fox, Paige's favourite show in the whole world, That 70's Show! Staring
Topher Grace as Eric, Ashton Kutcher as Kelso, Danny Masterson as Hyde,
Wilmer Valderrama as Fez, Mila Kunis as Jackie, and Laura Prepon as Donna.
I love you guys, man!
Do the Hustle!
Kitty Forman knows how to do it. Midge Pinciotti knows how to do it. Bob
Pinciotti...well, he knows how to butt-bump Kitty. It's like the 70's Macarena
only not like the Macarena. I've asked all over and no one remembers how
to do it. 
Personal Note of Thanks: I want to thank Mariel, you are *the* greatest,
Heather, you fellow groovy 70's chick, and Jay, who's happenin' in a far
out kind of way.
Follow
the singing smiley back home,
man.
