As of the end of October 1999, my birth mother has been located. The process began in earnest in April of that year, when my middle son, Dakota (then just 13 years old), was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes (insuling dependent - also called "Juvenile Diabetes). Of course, that realization threw us all into shock! How could this happen to an otherwise perfectly healthy, normal boy who'd never really been sick in his life?!
A few months after that diagnosis, I experienced my own health problems that seemed to be symptoms of congestive heart failure. When the nurse in the Emergency room asked if such a problem ran in my family, it was the straw that broke the proverbial Camel's back. First my son's diagnosis that came out of the blue and then my health concerns! I couldn't continue to sit back and wait for the next surprise; something had to be done about opening my genealogical medical records!!
For well over a year or so, I'd been a member of a little online group of people, based out of New Mexico. I had a lawyer petition the courts for me. After months of waiting and wondering, everything came together and a cousin was contacted by a court appointed Intermediary. Permission was granted to contact me with all pertinent information.
On the 29th of October, I gathered my nerve and made the first call. One week later, plans were made to drive about 1400 miles to meet my birth mother in person. I wasn't as nervous as I think I should have been but I was a little excited. I din't really know what to expect but the fear of the unknown has never stopped me from forging ahead.
For all the wonderful people who've supported me and prayed for that day, I can only, simply say thank you!!!!! The best support I had came from the New Mexico Adoption Registry (click to be taken to more information below).
I'm a 'native Texan' (although I've never lived there; I was only born there) and now live in the Virginia, Tennessee and Kentucky tri-state area with my husband of about 20 years and 2 of our 4 sons. We have a 27 year-old son, Tony (my step-son), Jesse who'll turned 24 in October, Dakota who will be 19 on August 24th, and the "baby" is Kiowa who will be 16 years old tomorrow (Feb. 4th b-day). My husband and I both have birthdays in July, just 6 days apart (July 21 & 27)...and we're six years apart in age. He resembles "Grizzly Adams"; long-haired (to his waist) and fully bearded. For as long as I've known him, my husband has had long hair and a beard. Every morning, he wakes me to braid his hair. My husband was in the Army for about 10 years, mostly in Germany (before I met him) and that's where he learned the telecommunications business (starting from about 30 or so years ago).
I used to take Isshin-Ryu karate lessons in Harrogate, TN at Master Smith's dojo. I went there for about 1½ years but have been out of it for about the last 4 or 5 years. I started karate because my sons wanted to be like the Ninja Turtles. LOL I went to keep an eye on them and make sure they behaved. While my sons quit not long after earning their green belts, I continued learning and earned my brown belt. Unfortunately, I had to quit just before earning my black belt. Besides being great exercise for the body, it's also proved to be great exercise for the mind in many ways. When I was in the dojo, I was so focused on what we're doing, there was no outside world and no thoughts of any outside problems. I always left after the 2½ hour sessions feeling much better than I did when I came in (unless Sensei Howerton visits and then I usually leave in much pain!!! *teasing him*) Truthfully, I did enjoy working out with Sensei Howerton, as he takes what he does very seriously.
Also, in March of 1998, Grand Master Long visited our dojo and instructed us for several hours. One would have never guessed the physical problems he has had to overcome in his lifetime as he demonstrated technique after technique. Unfortunately, Master Long was hit by yet another medical problem, not long after being struck with a brain tumor. This last medical condition was too much for him; too soon before completely getting over the other. He passed away and has left an empty void in the Isshinryu world. There are many reminders of him though, that keep him close to us. He made many intructional videos, tapes and spoke to many media sources....leaving much of himself for us to use in the years to come. On our Family Page below, I have included a photo that is in color and hangs on my wall. The picture was taken while Master Long was visiting the dojo in Harrogate, Tennessee in March of 1998.
To find out more about this form of discipline, see: INTERNATIONAL ISSHINRYU KARATE ASSOCIATION
The photos that were on this page have now been moved to their own page to save loading time. Go to Our Family Photos.
I'm an adoptee who was searching. I was born in El Paso but was adopted through the state of New Mexico. My birth mother was married at the time of my conception and had 3 older children; 2 boys and one girl. Apparently she was divorced during her pregnancy with me and it was not known if she returned to her family.
Turns out, she married my birth father!
She was 35 at the time of my birth, 4'10" tall, 115 lbs, with blonde hair and hazel eyes. My birth father was 55 and was said to be 6' tall, 190 lbs, with black hair and brown eyes. Photos of my father when he was younger can be seen on my genealogy page (linked below). Photos of when I drove out to meet my birth mother can be seen there also.
See my
Genealogical Page for more information and photos of my birth mother and father!
Also see Raymond Moore's page with links to census images and genealogical information going back to the mid-1800's for my father's family.
My life has been a good one, all things considered. I did more living in the first 20 years of my life than most people do in 100 years of living. I have no complaints about being given up for adoption.
One of my opinions is that we make choices; good and bad, based on our experiences and it's a waste of time to go back and second guess yourself (or someone else). Yes, hindsight is 20/20, but you can't see the forest for the trees when you're standing at the tree-line (at the edge). If we could all step back from the tree-line and see the forest, then we might be able to make good decisions. It is not my intention or interest to intrude or embarrass anyone. I simply have questions that I would like to have answered, such as my medical and genealogical information.
Being able to look around see their family connections is something most people take for granted. For those of us who cannot look at a "blood-related" family member, it's a horse of a different color. Imagine looking at your first child and realizing that s/he is the first person you have looked at that you know is actually related to you by blood. It's a truely amazing experience! To fully understand, you have to be in our shoes. My (adopted) family has dark hair, dark eyes and has darker skin (depending on time in the sun). Many people would comment on how different I looked from the rest of the family. It never bothered me to hear this, or to explain that I looked different because I was adopted. I always knew I was adopted; it wasn't hidden from me. My mother told me I was adopted from the time I came to be a part of the family - and in her way of explaining things, it was something special, not something to be pitied for. *many hugs to my Mom!!*
For those of us who are adopted, it's important to have OUR medical
and genealogical histories available to us. Some States have recognized the importance and have taken steps to make the adoption records open to the adoptee who's searching. However, as far as I know at this point, NO State will let the adoptee have, hold and/or keep their original records!! Some States have included the birth parents and related family members in allowing access to the records.
As mature adults, we should have the right to have, hold and examine our own records of birth. We had no say in the adoption process and to continue to deny us this simple right is to deny us our dignity. PLEASE add your voice to ours when your State has legislative meetings to examine the old laws and help us to reform them for the better!
And that is something people comment on also - I call my (adoptive) mother, my Mother. And why shouldn't I? She's the one who raised me and took care of me....through the good times and the bad. Isn't that what a parent is? My birth mother is the person who gave me life.......and I'd like to say here, THANK YOU! Without her co-operation in giving me life, I wouldn't be here. I recognize her as being the woman who gave me life and will let herdetermine how involved she wants to be with me.
UPDATE 2008: Over the years, there have been a few people who've stumbled across my pages and who've thought they might be related. After a few of these encounters, I've become cautious about getting too excited in the beginning because the connection as family wasn't there.
Just before Christmas of 2007, again someone wrote to me via email and thought they might be related. As usual, I wanted to get excited but managed to control my emotions until more evidence proved a connection. WOW! This time it turns out that a nephew of my own age (going on 48 this summer of 2008) was, in fact, a close relation! He is the son of my oldest brother who will be 80 years old very soon!! WOW!!
Alvis Ray Moore is the name of my paternal grandfather AND the name of my oldest brother. When my nephew gave me that name and thought it was the same name as his father, I thought he had to be mistaken; that name I knew only as being that of my grandfather. When my birth mother passed away, my cousins in Colorado sent me some things. One of those things was a book for guests to sign at my father's funeral. In it, two names are given as Ray's sons; Alvis Ray Moore and Ray Moore, Jr. After more contact by phone, we finally determined our real family connection and since the beginning of 2008, I've had many phone calls with my oldest brother who lives in California!
Yes, it is a wonderful life!
See links to genealogical sites:
Cyndi's List of Genealogy Sites on the Internet. I am registered at:
BirthQuest and also with
The NMAR also has a great line of support via email. It is open to all in the adoption Triad who have a connection with New Mexico. To put your name on the email list, look for the link from NMAR's pages. There are many email lists for different States. To choose which one is right for you, go to: Yahoo Groups. Or NMAR's Yahoogroup can be found here: newmexico Adoption Email group with Yahoo. In order to post to the group, you must first sign up with Yahoo, which is quick and easy. To subscribe to the group, simply click on the "pre-addressed" email: newmexico-subscribe@yahoogroups.com.
