Make your own free website on Tripod.com



RADIO RESEARCH COMMUNICATIONS
UNIT VIETNAM MEMORIES AND THINGS

The following items were sent in by Lloyd Willis who was with RRCUV from 67 to 68


"THE LIFERS PRAYER"
"OUR HONCHO, WHO ART IN WASHINGTON, HOLLOW BE THY FAME. NY PROMOTION COME, THY WILL BE DONE IN THE ARMY AS IT IS IN TEXAS. GIVE US THES DAY OUR DAILY BENNIES, AND MAKE US NOT CIVILIANS BUT DELIVER US FROM REALITY, FOR THINE IS THE ARMY, THE AIR FORCE AND THE NAVY, FOREVER AND EVER, TEN HUT!"


THE TWENTY-THIRD AR"
"THE ARMY IS MY CRUTCH, I SHALL NOT THINK, IT ALLOWETH ME TO LIE DOWN ON MY RESPONSIBILITY. IT LEADETH ME BLINDLY, IT DESTROYETH MY INITIATIVE, IT LEADETH ME IN THE PATH OF THE PARASITE FOR MY COUNTRY'S SAKE, YEA, THOUGH I WALK THROUGH THE VALLEY OF LAZINESS, I SHALL FEAR NO LACK OF ACHIEVEMENT."


THE TEN COMMANDMENTS"


1.  THOU SHALT NOT THINK
2.  THOU SHALT NOT PLACE THY HANDS IN THY POCKETS
3.  THOU SHALT KNOW THE CHAIN OF COMMAND AND ALL OTHER MISSING LINKS
4.  THOU SHALT NOT LAUGH AT SECOND LIEUTENATS
5.  THOU SHALT NOT USE WORDS BEYOUND THE COMPREHENSION OF NCO'S
6.  THOU SHALT NOT DO THINGS IN A REASONALBE MANNER
7.  THOU SHALT FEAR THOSE OF HIGHER RANK AND >SCORN THOSE OF LOWER RANK
8.  THOU SHALT NOT LAUGH AT RE-UP POSTERS
9.  THOU SHALT NOT SPEAK WITHOUT USING PROFANITY
10. THOU SHALT BELIEVE IN THE NONEXISTING ARMY BENNIES


KING OF THE ZIPS ((SUNG TO THE TUNE OF THE "KING OF THE ROAD"))
SHOWER SHOES FOR SALE OR RENT BY LE-O'S FOR FIFTY CENTS UNDERWEAR OR CIGATETTES HE'S EVEN TRIED MONOPLY SETS ANY THING THAT AINT TIED DOWN YOU IKNOW HE'LL PACK IT RIGHT DOWN TOWN HE'S A MAN OF MEANS ((TO THESE SIAGON QUEENS)) KING OF THE ZIPS HE SELLS EM T-SHIRTS HE HAS FOUND YOUR ARMY BLANKETTS GREEN OR BROWN FATIGUE SUITS, ARMY BOOTS HE'LL EVEN SELL EM WATERED DOWN BOOZE HE'S A MAN IF MANST ((TO THESE SIAGON QUEENS)) KING OF THE ZIPS HE STEELS UNDER WEAR FROM CHICKEN MAN SHOWER SHOES WERE EVER HE CAN APPLES, ORANGES FROM THE OLD MESS HALL AND IF YOUR LOCKER AINT LOCKED YOU'LL HAVE NOTHING AT ALL HE'S A MAN OF MEANS ((TO THESE SIAGON QUEENS)) KING OF THE ZIPS HE KNOWS EVERY BROAD IN EVERY SHOP GETS ALL THEIR PIASTERS ALL THAT THEY GOT HE'S GOT EVERY THING THE PX DON'S GOT AND ITS PROBABLY YOURS LIKE IT OR NOT HE'S A MAN OF MEANS ((TO THESE SIAGON QUEENS)) KING OF THE ZIPS



DEAR FRIENDS

     WE HAVE THE DISTINGUISED HONOR OF BEING AMONG MEMBERS
OF A COMMITTE TO RAISE FIVE MILLION DOLLARS TO BE USED 
FOR PLACING A STATUE OF L.B.J. IN THE HALL OF FAME.

    THIS COMMITTEE WAS IN A QUANDRY ABOUT SELECTING
THE PROPER LOCATION FOR THE STATUE, IT WAS NOT THOUGHT
WISE TO PLACE IT BESIDE GEORGE WASHINGTON, WHO NEVER TOLD
A LIE; NOR BESIDE THAT OF F.D.R. WHO NEVER TOLD THE 
TRUTH, SINCE L.B.J. COULD NEVER TELL THE DIFFERENCE.

    AFTER CAREFUL CONSIDERATION, WE THOUGHT THE STATUE
SHOULD BE PLACED NEXT TO CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS, THE GREATEST
NEW DEALER OF THEM ALL. HE STARTED OUT NOT KNOWING WHERE HE
WAS GOING, AND UPON ARIVING DID NOT KNOW WHERE HE WAS, AND
HE DID IT ALL ON BORROWED MONEY.

    5,000 YEARS AGO, MOSES SAID TO THE CHILDREN OF ISRAEL,
"PICK UP YOUR SHOVELS, MOUNT YOUR ASSES AND CAMELS, AND
I WILL LEAD YO TO THE PROMISED LAND". NEARLY 5,000 YEARS 
LATER F.D.R. SAID "LAY DOWN YOUR SHOVELS, SIT ON YOUR ASSES
THIS IS THE PROMISED LAND." NOW L.B.J. IS STEALING YOUR SHOVELS
KICKING YOUR ASSES, TAKING THE PROMISED LAND, AND RAISING THE
PRICE OF CAMELS.

SO IF YOU ARE ONE OF THOSE PRIVILEGED CITIZENS WHO HAS 
MONEY LEFT AFTER TAXES, WE EXPECT A GENEROUS CONTRIBUTION

				THE COMMITTEE



		
WHAT IS A SOLDIER BETWEEN THE SECURITY OF CHILDHOOD AND THE INSECURITY OF SECOND CHILDHOOD, WE FIND A FASINATING GROUP OF HUMAITY CALLED SOLDIERS THEY COME IN ASSORTED SIZES, WEIGHTS, AND STATES OF SOBRIETY. THEY CAN BE FOUND ANYWHERE ON SHIPS, IN BARS, ON LEAVE, IN LOVE AND ALWAYS IN DEBT. GIRLS LOVE THEM, TOWNS TOERATE THEM AND THE GOVERNMENT SUPPORTS THEM. A SOLDIER IS LAZINESS WITH DECK OF CARDS, BRAVERY WITH TATTOOED ARM AND THE PROTECTOR OF THE WORLD WITH A COPY OF PLAYBOY. HE HAS THE ENERGY OF A TURTLE, THE SLYNESS OF A FOX, THE BRANS OF AN IDIOT, THE STORIES OF WAR, THE SINCERITY OF A LIAR, THE INSPIRATIONS OF A CASANOVA AND WHEN HE WANTS SOMETHING IT US USUALLY CONNECTED WITH A PASS. SOME OF HIS LIKES ARE WOMEN, GIRLS, FEMALES, DAMES, AND THE OPPOSITE SEX. HE DISLIKES ANSWERING LETTERS, WEARING HIS UNIFORM, SUPERIOR OFFICERS, THE CHOW, AND GETTING UP IN THE MORNING. NO ONE ELSE CAN CARRY ALL THIS IN ONE POCKET: A LIGHTR, A PACK OF CRUSHED CIGARETTES, I.D. CARD, A COMB, A CHURCH KEY, A BOTTLE OF GIN AND WHAT IS LEFT OF LAST MONTH'S PANY. HE LIKES TO SPEND HIS PAY ON GIRLS, BOOZE, SOME ON POKER ANT THE REST FOOLISHLY. A SOLDER IS A MAGIC CREATURE. YOU CAN LOCK HIM OUT OF YOUR HOME BUT NOT OUT OF YOUR HEART; YOU CAN SCRATCH HIM OFF YOUR MAILING LIST, BUT NOT OUT OF YOU MIND, YOU MIGHT AS WELL GIVE UP TRYING TO DISPOSE OF HIM, FOR YOU KNOW HE IS YOUR LONG-FROM-HOME SWEETHEART WHO CAN HARDLY WAIT UNTIL HE IS ONCE MORE CALLED MR.


VIET NAM -- "66 -- 67"
JUST ACROSS THE BIG WIDE OCEAN VIET NAM THEY CALL THE SPOT WHERE WE ARE DOOMED TO SPEND OUR TIME IN THE LAND THAT GOD FORGOT OUT IN THE MUD AND RAIN WHERE A MAN GETS BLUE RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE TEN THOUSAND MILES FROM YOU WE SWEAT AND FREEZE AND SHIVER TIS MORE THAN A MAN CAN STAND WE ARE NOT SURPOSED TO BE CONVICTS JUST DEFENDERS OF OUR LAND WE ARE SOLDIERS OF THE ASA EARNING OUR MEARGER PAY PROTECTING THE GUYS WITH MILLIONS FOR A LOUSY TWO FIFTY A DAY LIVING WITH OUR MENORIES AND PARTED FROM OUR GALS HOPEING THAT WHILE WE ARE PARTED THEY DON'T MARRY OUR FOUR F PALS NOBODY KNOWS WE ARE LIVING NOBODY GIVES A DAM AT HAVE WE ARE FORGOTTEN WE BELONG TO UNCLE SAM THE TIME WE SPEND IN THE ARMY IS PART OF OUR LIVES WE HAVE MISSED SO BOYS DONT LET THEM DRAFT YOU AND FOR GODS SAKE DONT ENLIST BUT AS WE PAST BY THOSE PEARLY GATES WE WILL HEAR SAINT PETER YELL FALL IN YOU GUYS FROM THE 509TH YOU HAVE SERVED YOUR TIME IN HELL


         
ODE TO A SAIGON WARRIOR (SUNG TO THE TUNE OF SWEET BETSY FROM PIKE)

SAIGON, SAIGON A WONDERFUL PLACE BUT THE ORGANIZATION'S A GOD DAM DISGRACE THERE'S CAPTIANS AND MAJORS AND LIGHT COLONELS TOO WITH THEIR HANDS UP HEIR ASS HOLDS AND NOTHING TO DO THEY SIT AT THEIR DESKS AND THEY SCREAM AND THEY SHOUT THEY TALK OF THE WAR THEY KNOW NOTHING ABOUT AGAINST THE V.C. THEY ARE NOT DOING WELL BUT IF PAPER WERE CORDITE WE'D BE BLOWN TO HELL A SAIGON COMMANDO, AN UNUSUAL SIGHT HE WEARS HIS FATIGUES THO HE'S NOT IN A FIGHT A KNIFE AND PISTOL, HIS DAILY MOTIF BUT YOU'LL FIND HIM FOR LUNCH AT THE CIRCLE SPROTIF THE SAIGON WARRIORS ALL DRAW COMBAT PAY AND IN SAIGON FOR THE YEAR THEY WILL STAY THEY WON'T LEAVE THE COMPOUND, JUST SIT AT THE BAR THEY DRAW THE SAME PAY BUT THEY DON'T FIGHT THE WAR WHEN WE GO TO SAIGON TO VISIT THE CREW THEY'RE ALL UPSET 'CAUSE OUR BRASS ISN'T NEW WE ASK FOR MORE WEAPONS AND THEY THINK WE'RE IN FUN THEY KNOW THE ADVISORS DON'T CARRY A GUN MOST SAIGON WARRIORS ALL WEAR BRONZE STARS THEY GOT THEM FOR WRITING REPORTS ON THE WAR THEY'VE NEVER BEN SHOT AT, NOR SEEN A V.C. BUT THEY KNOW THEY DESERVE IT, THEY WORK FOR MAC V WHEN THIS WAR IS OVER AND WE ALL GO HOME WE'LL MEET SAIGON WARRIORS WHEREVER WE ROME WE'LL KNOW THEM BY SIGHT, THEY'RE NOT IN OUR CLASS FOR THEY DON'T HAVE THE SHITS, JUST A BIG CHAIRBORNE ASS!!




FROM:  HEADDQUARTERS
RADIO RESEARCH COMM UNIT, VIETNAM
APO SAN FRANCISCO 96307>

BE IT KNOWN AMONGST ALL MEN, WOMEN, CHILDERN, AND
ANIMALS OF A CIVILIZED NATURE THAT ON OR ABOUT
__________________ IN THE YEAR OF OUR LORD ________,
THERE WILL BE RELESED BACK INTO CIVILIZATION A SUN
BAKED, WATER LOGGED AND SLIGHTLY UNSTABLE
INDIVIDUAL KNOW AMONG HIS FRIENDS AND
LOVER ONES AS _____________________ THIS POOR
UNFORTUNATE SOUL WHO JUST OVER THREE
YEARS AGO WAS A NORMAL AND UPSTANDING MEMBER OF
SOCIETY IS ABOUT TO DEPART FROM THE PLEASANT
LITTLE STRAW HOUSES AND OPEN SEWER DITCHES OF
VIETNAM.

THE KNOWLEDGE THAT HE MUST LEAVE HAS CAUSED HIM
TO BECOME MOST IRRATIONAL AND AT TIMES
(NIGHTLY) HE HAS BEEN KNOWN TO INDULGE IN THE
CONSUMMPTION OF ALCOHOLIC STIMULANTS TO A POINT
OF SLIGHT INNEBRIATION. ALL THIS TENDS TO
INDICATE THAT HE HAS ADJUSTED HIS PATTERN OF LIFE TO
THIS PARADISE OF SOUTHEAST ASIA.

THEREFORE TAKE SPECIAL NOTICE OF THE FOLLOWING
WORDS OF ADVICE AND HEED THESE WARNINGS, IT IS
ESSENTIAL TO THE WELFARE AND CONTINUANCE OF
CIVILIZATION. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED !!!!!!!!!!!

1. GET YOUR WOMEN, CHILDREN AND ALL DOMESTIC
ANIMALS WHO ARE BEYOND DEFEDING THEMSELVES
OFF THE STREETS, HIDE ALL ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGES
AND/OR LIQUORS. AFTER A REASONABLE PERIOD OF
TIME (AT LEAST SIX MONTHS) HE CAN SLOWLY, I REPEAT, SLOWLY BE EXPOSED TO THE ABOVE.

2. THIS PERSON HAS SURVIED THE WORST AND MEANEST
THE WORLD HAS TO PUT FORWARD. RAIN,
HEAT, WIND, RAIN, HEAT, FILFTH, RAIN, HEAT, MONSOONS,
HURRICANS AND TYPHOONS, BE KIND TO HIM.

3. BE HIS FRIEND, SON, FATHER, HUSBAND, BROTHER, OR
SWEET HEART, UNFORTUNATELY HE IS YOURS, HE
MAY ACT AND LOOK PECULIAR AND DO STRANGE AND
UNUSUAL THINGS WHICH AT TIMES WILL BE HARD
TO UNDERSTAND AND MAY EVEN SHOCK YOU BUT
THAT IS TO BE EXPECTED AFTER LIVING IN VIETNAM
FOR TWELEVE MONTHS. (THE GATEWAY TO
SOUTHEAST ASIA, THE PARIS OF THE ORIENT, AND
THE RUINATIONS OF MANY A BETTER MAN.)

4. PAY NO ATTENTION WHEN HE STIRS SOY SAUCE IN HIS
SOUP OR POTATOES OR MIXES SOME RAW SNAILS WITH HISbr> RICE IN THE HOPES OF MAKING BOTH TASTE BETTER,
HUMOR HIM WHEN HE PREFERS CHOPSTICKS
TO SILVERWARE, SLOPS HIS FOOD ALL
OVER THE TABLE OR GOES BAREFOOTED EVERYWHERE,
AND TRY TO UNDERSTAND IF HE ACTS AS THOUGH THE
WASTE BASIKET HASN'T YET BEEN INVENTED.

5. DO NOT BE EMBARRASSED OR RUN AWAY IF HE DECIDES
TO URINATE IN THE STREET WHILE DOWNTOWN,
OR SPENDS A HOUR ARGUING PRICES WITH MERCHANTS HOPING TO SAVE A PENNY OR
TWO, OR THREE.. HE WILL GET OVER THIS IN ABOUT TEN YEARS
OR SO.

6. IT'S MOST LIKELY THAT HIS FIRST WORDS WILL BE
SPOKEN IN A LOW SNEAKY WHISPER AFTER HE HAS
CHECKED TO MAKE SURE HE CAN'T BE OVERHEARD, HIS
QUESTIONS WILL UNDOUBTLY BE "WHERE CAN I CHANGE
AMERICAN MONEY AND WHAT WILL BE THE RATE?"
THIS MUST BE EXPLAINED. HE IS TRYNG TO CHANGE
AMERICAN DOLLARS INTO THE LOCAL CURRENCY IN THE
MANNER IN WHICH IS ACCUSTOMED ILLIGALLY AND PROFITABLEY. HE WILL TRY TO SELL YOU EVERYTHING FROM GUM
TO A BOX OF TIDE FROM THE AMERICAN COMMISSARY.
HE WILL FEAR THE POLICE AS HE IS JUST LIKE THE REST OF US A MEMBER
AND FIRM BELIEVER IN THE BLACK MARKET, PLAN ON THIS AS PART OF HIS
REHABILITATION.

7. IF HE MUMBLES SUCH THINGS AS CHUO YOI, CHOW CO
, VIET CAY DINKEY DOW, TIPEO AND OTHER OFF THE WALL
REMARKS WHILE SLEEPING IGNORE THEM, UTS TI BE
EXOECTED.

8. KEEP A CLOSE WATCH ON HIM WHILE HE IS BATHING,
HE IS NOT USED TO HOT WATER OR COMPLICATED THINGS
LIKE A SHOWER STALL AND HAS COMPLETELY FORGOTTEN
THE USE OF A BATHTUB. IN TIME AND WITH PROPER SUPERVISION AND INSTRUCTION
HE WILL LEARN TO HANDLE THESE THINGS BY HIMSELF WITHOUT
CAUSING HARM.

9. UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES MENTION POWDERED MILK
OR EGGS, DEHYDRATED POTATOES, FRIED RICE
SOUP, SHINHOA, C-RATIONS AND ABOVE ALL NEVER LET
HIM HEAR THE WORD "RE-ENLIST".

10. DON'T BE ALARMED IF HE STARES AT NYLONS, CHAIRS
, BEDS, MATTRESSES, AIR-CONDITIONERS ELEVATORS, TALL BUILDINGS,
SINKS, BATH TUBS, SMOOTH ROADS, OR GLASS WINDOWS.
HE WILL GET USED TO THESE THINGS AGAIN IN TIME.

11. CHANCES ARE HE WILL PREFER TO SLEEP ON A
STRAW MAT AND BURN JOSS STICKS OR
IF HE WAS LUCKY HE WILL WANT A COT AND MOSQUITO NETTING
WITH AN AIR MATTRESS, FEW WERE FORTUNATE
ENOUGH TO HAVE A BED, HE WILL PROBABLY TAKE A SIESTA FROM NOON TO TWO DAILY.
HUMOR HIM.

12. DRIVING CARS IS DEFINITELY OUT OF THE QUESTION,
EVEN WHILE CROSSING THE STREET HE SHOULD BE
WATCHED HE HAS BECOME IMPARTIAL OFTEN INDIFFERENT AND
COMPLETELY OBLIVIOUS TO SUCH TRAFFIC HAZARDS AS
CARS, HORSES, CYCLOS, BICYCLES, SCOOTERS, THE HORSE WAGON
WATER BUFFALO, AND OTHER THINGS NORMALLY FOUND ON
THE STREETS.

13. BRIEF ALL HIS FRIENDS NO TO ASK SUCH QUESTIONS < br>AS "HOW IS THE MAIL SITUATION OVER THERE?" "DID IT
RAIN MUCH OR WAS IT NICE?" NEVER OFFER HIM A
DRINK OR ASK HIM TO BUY ONE, ABOVE ALL WARN
EVERY FEMALE HE KNOWS TO REFRAIN FROM CALLING
HIM HONEY. THE MENTION OF THE ABOVE WILL
CAUSE VIOLENT REACTIONS AND POSSIBLE INSANITY
AND HE IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR THE TERRIBLE THINGS
HE WILL DO OR SAY.

14. REMEMBER NO MATTER WHAT HIS SUN BAKED
WATER LOGGED FACE MAY LOOK LIKE NO MATTER
WHAT HIS REACTION TO NORMAL THINGS MAY BE
BENEATH THAT HARD WEARY EXTERNAL SURFACE IS A
HEART SWEET AND FULL OF LOVE. (ALTHOUGH IT MAY BE
A LITTLE WET). JUST GIVE HIM A FEW YEARS TO GET
USED TO CIVILIZATION AGAIN.

15. LASTLY AND MOST IMPROTTANT DO NOT PERMIT HIM
TO SPEAK OR LEAVE HIM UNATTENDED IN THE
PRESENCE OF WOMEN, HIS PREFERENCE WILL BE
BLONDES OR RED HEADS WITH A FAIR COMPLEXION,
HE IS NO LONGER ACCUSTOMED TO CIVILIZED
WOMEN AND HIS SPEECH AND CTIONS WILL NOT BE IN THE
BEST OF TASTE.

16. SHOULD ANY SITUATION ARISE THAT YOU CAN NOT
HANDLE NOTIFY THE NEAREST OFFICE OF THE
VIETNAMESE DOMESTIC SECURITY POLICE, AS USUAL, IT
WON'T DO ANY GOOD BUT THEY LIKE TO USE THE
TELEPHONE AND WILL BE HAPPY TO TALK WITH YOU.

17. SEND NO MORE MAIL TO APO 96307, SAN FRANCISCO
CALIFORNIA AND WARN THE WORLD. HE IS ON HIS WAY
HOME .....................

RESPECTIVELY YOURS,

I. R. LUSH

P.S. PAST RESEARCH AND EXPERIENCE HAVE SHOWN THAT
THE PERIOD OF READJUSTMENT TO THE FINE LIFE
HE ONCE KNEW TAKES A MINIMUM OF FIVE YEARS,
IF IN THIS TIME HE DOES NOT SHOW ANY INDICATIONS
OF RECOVERY OR IF UPON ARRIVAL HE SEEMS TO BE A
HOPELESS CASE CONTACT THE DEPARTMENT OF
DEFENSE WASHINGTON 25, D.C. AND VOLUNTEER HIS
SERVICES TO THE RADIORESEARCH COMM UNIT, VIETNAM.
IT MAY APPEAR TO BE CRUEL BUT HE WILL BE RETURNING TO
THE LIFE HE DESIRES, BAMBOO HUTS, DIRTY STREETS
, UNEXPLAINABLE ORDERS, RICE PADDIES AND COMPLETE
LACK OF CIVILIZATION. HE HAS BEEN TOUCHED BY THE HEAT,
HIS BRAIN WASHED AWAY BYTHE RAIN, HIS SENSE OF SMELL
AND FEELING OF HUMANITY DESTROYED, HE IS A
HOLLOW SHELL OF WHAT WAS ONCE A HUMAN BEING
AND HAS COMPLETELY ADJUSTED TO THE FAR EASTERN
WAY OF LIFE.LET HIM RETURN AND JOIN THE RANKS OF HIS MANY
COMRADES WHO HAVE GONE BEFORE HIM. GOD PROTECT
AND WATCH OVER HIM. BECAUSE HE IS NOW UNABLE TO DO
SO HIMSELF...........