Have you ever sat down, and thought "Boy, i really do suck".  Chances
are most of you wouldnt admit to it, but 'sucking' has become a
major problem these days.  And if it is not controlled, then
it will run wild and all the world shall be plagued by sucky people!
Here is a nice list on ways to tell if you suck, and then ways to
try to change yourself and join the 'cool' club.

Ways To Tell if you Suck:
You try to be cool by slamming Hanson.  I mean, we all know that
Hanson sucks, but pounding it into the ground isnt funny.  Thats
David Letterman.
You chew gum.
You drink coca-cola.
You go over to a friends house, and while playing pictionary, leave
and go use his keyboard for some mud jigglies.. and end up
splooging all over the keyboard
You think Seinfeld is the greatest comedian of all time.
When someone asks for help on AOL so they can do something, you
like to continually remind them that "Aol Sucks".  Its a known fact,
you dont need to rub it in.  
When someone is nuked, you bust out your sunshades, or put on spf
2000000, or something about a radioactive suit.  They all suck.
You are an SoU.
You think that because someone thinks ska fucking blows, that they
are obviously "closed minded" and not open to new ideas.  SO WHAT?
Some people are happy with not loving every single thing in the
universe.  Have a little hatred.  It will make your day.
You hate science fiction or fantasy because it doesnt have cellular
phones and football playing guys and cheerleaders. 
You only watch sitcoms.


Ok, this list will continually lengthen to improve our world. Now,
For those of you who are clinically diagnosed with "suckness",
there is this answer:  The ways to not suck.

Listen to some alternative music, preferably "Smashing Pumpkins",
or maybe Alice in Chains or Soundgarden.  
Try watching the Simpsons.  there you too can master the ability
to coat things with subtle humor, as opposed to the "MMmmmSuck"
jokes which we are all tired of.
Try drinking pepsi.  Hell, by just sitting there with a can in your
hand your coolness points triple anyways.  Heinekens are worth
double points.  
Find a Mayor McCheese Tshirt, and wear it with pride.  Because,
in the faith of the Mayor is the path to success.  
Dont have mud sex.  Or, at least, dont have mud sex and then talk
about how much you "love" your mud sexee.  Those sappy legends
make me puke.  especially since the 'love' is only so you can
get some bunghole bingo.  Well, 99 times out of 100.


*this page was written late at night and low on ideas needed to
fulfill it.. stay tuned for a major page upgrade very soon -Rathmar
and Staff-*