Chapter Four

Xena started toward the door of the tavern, intending to indulge in a cool
beverage. But before she could enter, a body flew out of the door and slammed
against the hard dirt in front of her with a solid thud. She looked down at the
form in front of her. Her lips slowly turned up into a wry grin of amusement and
she raised her boot and rested it on the breastplate of the figure at her feet.

"Well, well, well. Now what do we have here? Am I missing the party, or are ya
just glad to see me?"
"Hey, I'm always glad to see you, Xena. Heh heh heh."

Xena removed her foot and Joxer sheepishly stood up, brushing the dirt from his
clothes. All of a sudden a large leg of lamb came flying out of the door and hit
him, with all of it's greasy fleshiness, squarely in the middle of his forehead
knocking him down again.

"And stay out you good for nothing son of a jackal!"
"Joxer?"
Slowly the funny faced warrior arose for the second time. He looked *very*
guilty.
"Uh, I know what you're thinkin' Xena. But it's really nothin'."
"Nothing? Oh I guess it's normal for you to be tossed out on your behind and be
called crude names, huh?"
"Heh heh. All right I'll tell ya. Well, uh, you see every time I tell people I'm Joxer
the Mighty they laugh at me and well......."
His voice trailed off as he looked at the ground, obviously reluctant to continue.
"Go on."
"I, uh, this time I, uh told a teeny, weeny, little white lie."
"Which was?"
"Aw Xena, please don't get mad at me."
"Joxerrrrr?"
"Ok, I told them I was, the......er......the King of Thieves." Joxer looked up
embarrassed, expecting the worst from the Amazon.
"You told them what?"
"I told them I was the....."
"I heard what you said!"
"Well why did ya ask, I mean I was only answering your ques..."
"Ok, Joxer, I'll stay calm. Now why did the innkeeper throw you out?"
"Well, it seems Autolycus, um, stole a valuable ruby from him once and....."
"Oh gods!"
"Well, then I told him I was really Joxer the Mighty and...."
"Forget it Joxer. I get the picture. All right, stay with me. At least that way I can
make sure you don't get into any more trouble."
"Ok Xena."
"You *will* stay out of trouble won't you?"
"Sure Xena."
"Now, we are going back into that tavern because I'm *really* thirsty! C'mon!"
The Amazon grabbed the circular armor covering Joxer's chest and dragged
him towards the door.

"Namora, I
think you better hide under my hair. It wouldn't do for anyone to see you. We
don't want to call any attention to ourselves.""Yes, you're right."

The sprite flew up to Gabrielle's shoulder and hid under the long reddish blonde
hair of her new friend. She concentrated with all her might on keeping the bright
yellow glow which radiated from her tiny body to a bare minimum. She
definitely did not wish to be seen by any other humans. There was no telling how
they would react. As Gabrielle browsed through the stands, the fairy was amazed
at all of the treasures displayed for sale. There were beautiful scarves of the finest
silk, golden goblets and other crockery, exotic perfumes, trinkets of all shapes and
sizes and her favorite, food. The intoxicating aromas of the many spices and the
myriad of different edibles mingled together making the little pixie's mouth
water. It was all she could do to keep herself from flying around and sampling
the tempting dishes. Finally, Gabrielle stopped at one of the stands where an
assortment of leather pouches and various other miscellaneous wares were
offered for sale. She examined each of the small sacks very carefully, scrutinizing
them all for defects. While the bard was making her choice, Namora visually
scanned the rest of the contents on the vendor's table. Suddenly something gold
and shiny caught her eye. Her little heart began to pound and the unmistakable
feeling of anticipation rose up inside her miniature breast. She moved closer to
Gabrielle's ear and whispered into it.

"Gabrielle. Do you see that golden pin? It's sitting between a child's wooden
lamb and the leather necklace with all of the different colored beads."
She nodded her head yes.
"Would you please buy it for me?"
Gabrielle turned her head slightly to the side and Namora could see the
puzzlement on her face.
"Please, Gabrielle. It's very important to me."
The bard picked up one of the pouches and held it up.
"How much?"
"Five dinars"
She then pointed at the golden broach.
"How much for that pin?"
"Twenty dinars."
"Twenty dinars?!! Why that's highway robbery. I'll give you seven dinars for
both the pin and the pouch."
The shop keeper would not even consider her offer.
"No! No! That broach is of the finest gold. I cannot let it go for less than fifteen
dinars."
"That pin is a piece of junk! I will give you ten dinars for the both, take it or
leave it."
"Twelve dinars."
"Ten and not a dinar more."
The vendor shrugged his shoulders indicating there would be no sale and
Gabrielle turned around and started to walk away. Namora pulled violently on
her hair.
"What are you doing? I really need that pin!""Shhhh.....just hold on a minute.
He wants this sale, I'll bet he comes down to my price."
"And if he doesn't?"
"Don't worry, he will."

The Amazon princess made her way to a nearby stand which contained stacks of
beautiful colored cloths. She began to examine one of the pieces, when she felt a
tap at her shoulder.

"For you beautiful lady, ten dinars."
The shop keeper held out the pin and the pouch eagerly. Smiling, Gabrielle took
them and paid him the money. As the vendor returned to his stand happily
counting his profit, Namora began to jump up and down on Gabrielle's
shoulder.
"Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!"
"You're welcome. But I really don't know why that piece of junk means so much
to you."
"Well it does. Look, I will pay you back somehow, I promise."
"Hey, no need, Namora. That's what friends are for. Consider it a gift from me to
you. Anyone who can write beautiful poetry like you is all right in my book. But
you better let me hold onto this until we sit down somewhere, it's kinda big for
you to carry."
"Yes I know. All right, you carry it. I'm just glad you bought it."

Namora's heart began to sing with happiness. Gabrielle could see the elation on
her friend's face but still did not understand why something so worthless could
mean so much. She then fastened the pin onto her green top in order to eliminate
the chance of losing it.

"Well, I guess Xena will be happy too. Now she can collect her medicinal herbs
again. I guess we better join her at the tavern. I don't know about you but I'm
gettin' kinda thirsty."
"Me too."

With a strong sweeping motion Xena shoved Joxer through the tavern door in
front of her. She wanted to make sure she could keep an eye on him at all times.
Poor Joxer, it seemed that wherever he went trouble followed. As he passed by the
tavern's owner, he winced expecting the worst, and unfortunately, that was
exactly what he got. The large burly man reached out and grabbed Joxer's ear.
He swung him around until their faces were just inches apart and then breathed
on him with the foulest smelling, sourest breath Joxer had ever been unluky
enough to come in contact with.

"Are you deaf or are you stupid? I told you to get out and stay out."
"Phew! Garlic for lunch today, huh? You know they say if you chew parsley it
will make your breath smell sweet........."
"AAAGGGHH!!!!"
The owner slammed Joxer's body against the wall with such force that he slid
down it in a very dizzy, semiconscious state.
"Now that wasn't very nice of you."

At the sound of the deep female voice, the muscular man turned around, with a
look of pure malevolence on his face. But when he caught sight of the beautiful
warrior before him, his look changed to one of flirtatious admiration.

"You poor thing, is he your husband or something? Why don't you let a real
man show you a good time."

Even though his toothless smile turned her stomach Xena continued to smile
alluringly. She took a drink out of the goblet on the table next to her and walked
slowly and seductively toward the ugly ogre. Just as she reached him her hand
darted out snatching the torch off the wall beside her and she spit the liquor into
the flame causing it to roar in the direction of the proprietor. Excruciating pain
seared his face and he struck out in her direction blindly. All of a sudden he was
struck from behind with a large wooden keg, and as he went down, the smiling
face of Joxer could be seen behind grinning in revenge. But it was short lived
when several patrons jumped the comical warrior, kicking him to the floor. Xena
began to pull them away one at a time but soon the entire population inside of the
tavern was involved in a full fledged barroom brawl. Bodies were flying in all
directions. Surprisingly, Joxer was holding his own fighting his way through the
crowd that had gathered around him. Xena also fought a large group and she
suddenly swung around bringing her leg up and kicking the person behind her
just as he turned around and faced her. Seeing what she had done, a look of
regret momentarily crossed her face.

"Ooops. Sorry Joxer."
"Unngh. I-It's okay Xena. I, ohhhh, know ya didn't mean it. Aaagh!"
Joxer's hands went automatically to his groin area as his eyes crossed reflecting
his extreme pain.

A wooden stool flew through the air sailing over the heads of the patrons and
headed in the direction of the tavern door just as Gabrielle and Namora entered.
The sprite was the first one to go in.
"Gabrielle, duck!!"
The warning came just in time. Gabrielle quickly backed out of the entryway at
the same moment that the chair crashed into the wall overhead.
"What the....."
Quickly observing the chaotic melee taking place, she raised her Amazon staff in
readiness for combat and rushed toward a large group of men who had once
again surrounded Joxer making a punching bag out of the poor warrior. As she
struck one solidly across the back, another patron approached her from behind
with a raised knife.
"CHEEEEYIYYIYIYIYI"
The chakram whizzed through the air making direct contact with the knife,
knocking it out of the hand of it's owner. The bard spun around, a look of relief
clearly evident upon her face.
"Whoa! Thanks, Xena!"

In the meantime, the unfortunate Joxer who was being held by the top of his shirt
by the proprietor, suddenly found himself dangling in mid air as the large man
growled menacingly at him. Namora had no idea who all of these people were,
but sensed that this particular funny looking man was not the enemy. Seeing his
obvious panic, she took pity on him and decided to try to help.

"Ugly troll with toothless smile
Find gentle sleep for just a while
Release your grip that's held with hate
Or loss of movement be your.........."

Gabrielle quickly snatched the fairy from the shelf she had been standing on and
closed both of her hands around the tiny creature tightly. Namora was
completely covered, unable to escape. Muffled oaths could be heard as she
struggled to free herself. Slowly the bard opened her fists and released her friend.

"What the heck are ya doing? I was trying to help you! I thought we were
friends! How dare you! You almost smothered me you......"
"Hey Sprite, settle down. I know you were trying to help, but remember what
happened the last time you did your magic? We don't want another Callisto to
carry around, now do we?"
The bard winked impishly.
"Um, yeah, forgot about that."

Suddenly both Gabrielle and Namora realized that something was wrong, it was
too quiet. Looking up they saw that the fighting had ceased. All around them
were motionless bodies, some unconscious and some from whom painful
moaning could be heard. In the middle of the room stood the Warrior Princess
grinning. One of her hands held a large goblet. She tilted it towards her lips and
drank greedily. Then she wiped her lips with the back of her other hand.
"Ahhhhh. Mmmmm"
Satisfied, she slammed the cup onto the serving counter and swaggered towards
her two friends who had now been joined by Joxer.
"Feeling better now, Xena?"
"Oh yeah, much better! Did ya get my pouch?"
"Pouch!! Xena!! Where is Callisto?"

The Warrior Princess looked down at the dangling leather thong which had so
recently held both her chakram and Callisto's temporary home. The little sack
was gone!
"Oh no. It must have fallen off when I used my chakram to knock that knife
away."
"Ok, ok, don't panic. Let's just look around. It has to be here someplace."
"Uh, Gabby? What is that?" Joxer pointed his index finger inches away from
Namora's tiny body.
"Hey! Watch it, buster! It's rude to point at someone ya know!"
The little fairy grabbed his finger and shoved it away so roughly that the joint
snapped.
"Ow! It hurt me."
"Joxer, we have no time to explain now. Please, help us look for Xena's medicine
pouch."
"Uh, ok. Whatever ya say, Gabby."
He turned around to begin searching, but not before sticking his tongue out at
Namora.

All four began to search the floor of the tavern. They turned bodies over and
moved broken crockery and furniture, but one by one, they each came up empty
handed."What are we gonna do, Xena? We have to find Callisto. We can't leave
her here to live out her life as a roach."
"Don't panic, Gabrielle. She's here someplace. Let's look again."
"I found the pouch!"

Turning in the direction of the fairy's musical voice the trio approached the spot
which the glowing creature hovered over. Xena squatted down and picked up the
brown leather sack which had been wedged between a table leg and a wooden
keg. A frown crossed her face as she held it up. The strings had become untied
and the sack was open. It was empty.