"When it comes to war, I do not like to take sides."
"In wartime, you have to be flexible."
"I'm loyal to the Fuhrer, I'm loyal to anyone."
Talking to the prisoners:"Me, a spy? I'm as loyal a German as any of you here."
"I see nothing, I hear nothing, and I say NOTHING!!!"
"I know NOTHING"
"Sometimes, I do know something." (usually when there is food involved)
"Jolly joker."
"Colonel Hogan, I know from experience that when you decide to do something which looks good for the Germans, it is bad for the Germans."
About an escaped LeBeau:"Don't hurt him. He makes marvelous streudel."
Shaking out a napkin:"I always keep this around. You'll never know when you might run into a free meal."
"This is a speech problem. I sometimes speak, I say things, I do not know what I say."
"I have a way of walking with my head down. It's easier. Because my head is very heavy."