Hello again. This is the Last Orbot and I have completed my second MSTing. First up is a short called "Otaku no Microsoft" involving Jusenkyo and Microsoft. The main feature is known as "You're a Serial Killer, Charlie Brown". It's a spoof in which Charlie Brown finally decides to get revenge against everyone who ever wronged him. Pretty freaky if you ask me. Anyway, e-mail me at TheLastOrbot@aol.com with C & C. This MSTing doesn't have any host segments owing to the fact that I am not very good at doing them, but I'll try to have a host segment in my next MSTing. Anyway, enjoy!! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ (Mike and the Bots enter the theater.) >From: "Ed Becerra" Crow: Stonehenge? Mike: Ed Becerra...I picked some of that up from the deli yesterday on Rigel Four. Goes great with crackers. >Subject: [Ranma/XOver][FanFic] Otaku no Microsoft > Mike: Extra! Extra! Ranma slashes fanfic! Servo: Otaku no Microsoft? Bill Gates buys his way into everything. > >Ranma 1/2 is owned by Rumiko Takahashi > Mike:(Bill Gates) Not anymore he isn't. (Mike laughs wildly.) > > Otaku No Microsoft! > Crow: Is that the title or the next software release? > -------- > > By: Ed Becerra and Anand Rao > Servo:(sarcastically) Oh, let's not forget these guys! > It had taken every cent he'd managed to scrimp and save over the years. Crow:(singing) We shall scrimp and sail..... Servo:(singing) Will you still need me? Will you still feed me when I'm sixty-four? >Some had been spent on bribing the proper officials, some on buying the >false documentation he knew he'd need in order to return home. Mike:(Shady salesman) Alright, I sell you this ID here for $100. It says you're a 65 year old Hispanic male from Coldwater, Michigan. Is that good? > > There were more mundane expenses as well. Plane tickets, hotel rooms, Crow: Prostitutes. > a long train ride that was the only way to reach the utterly remote area he'd >been seeking for so very long. > Servo: The last comic book store with the special copy of "The Death of Superman"! > Even, foolish as it sounded, the purchase of a riding mule to make it >those last few miles. Mike: He is so lost. Servo: Tonight on National Geographic, we look at riding a mule those last few miles to a distant place. (Crow trumpets the National Geographic theme.) > The Bayankala region of Quinhai province wasn't easy >to travel through, especially on foot. > Mike: Hey, this sound like stuff you'd order in a Chinese restaurant. Crow: Let's see. Give me the Chinese meatballs, Won Hung Lo, along with an order of Sum Yung Chik..... Mike: Crow!! > He reached his goal, however. Nothing had been able to stop him. Servo:(Cobra Commander) Nothing shall stop me and I will rule the world!! Crow:(Dr. Evil) Hey, I got here first, okay?! > Soon, >all the power of the world would be his to control. > Mike: As the new human power plant of the world! > He pulled out a rumpled newspaper article from his shirt pocket. >'Microsoft loses anti-trust Suit' was written boldly as the headline. "Gates >Missing, Feared Dead." Mike: Yahoo! Servo: Break out the soda and junk food. It's time to party. Crow: Put on Dick Clark's Best of Rock n Roll!! > > "Poor sorry bastard, hard to believe it came to this," he thought aloud. > Mike: Now all he's doing is ruling Hell side by side with Satan. Crow: If you have lawyers like he does, it's still possible. > He turned to the Guide. "Which one?" Crow: Gimme a chocolate cone. Servo: A fudge brownie sundae with extra vanilla ice cream. Mike: Just give me a scoop of each of the 91 flavors. > > "That pool you seek, Mr. Guest, But you no go near! Very dangerous! You-" > Servo:(Jusenkyo guide)....can still get out of this fanfic before it's too late. > He knocked the Guide aside with a strong arm, and leapt into the pool >like a man embracing a long-lost lover. > All: Yecch!! Crow: Is this a lemon? Mike: If it is, just shoot me now. > "Ooooh, no, Mr. Customer! That zhangdandamen-niichuan! Servo:(Jusenkyo guide) It comes with egg roll, wonton soup, and your choice of soda! > Very tragic story >of Microsoft founder who go crazy and drown there last month! Very bad you >fall in spring!" > Crow: What if you fall in during summer or winter? > The man crawled from the pool spitting up water. "I know. Very bad for >the world. They mocked me, rejected me. Called me an otaku. Now, they shall >know the horror of.. Windows 2001!" Mike: A Space Odyssey! > >**************************** >The End >**************************** Crow: There are many stars in our universe..... >Ed Becerra >eabecerr@henge.com > Servo: That's where I'll be forwarding my spam to from now on. >Anand Rao >anandr@earthlink.net >anandr@deranged-otaku.com Mike: Deranged otaku? Crow: I think that's what they call a chicken with it's head cut off. Servo: And now for our feature presentation. Mike: Brace yourselves. It's a doozy. >"YOU'RE A SERIAL KILLER, CHARLIE BROWN!" Crow: Look what you did to all those kites!! Servo: "You're A Serial Killer, Charlie Brown!" Today on the Saturday Superstar Movie!! Mike:(singing) The Saturday Superstar Movie.......... >By XoMbY Servo: Xomby? Crow: Hugs and kisses my big.... Mike: Crow..... >Charlie Brown sat silently in his desk. Crow: Smoking a bong. Mike: Is there any other way to sit? > He braced himself. This was the day he had been waiting >for his whole life. Servo: The day he joined Hair Club for Men. Crow: Well, it probably is that since Charlie Brown could never lose his virginity. > A chance to get back at all the kids who had made fun of his premature >baldness and large round head. Mike: Next week, it's "You're a Skank, Charlie Brown!" >He smiled to himself...a contorted grin that implied mayhem and chaos to follow. Servo: He was going to let hamsters loose in the girls' locker room. > It was the last >day of elementary school. Little did his classmates know that it would also be the last day >of their lives. Crow: Today is the last day of your life. Servo: Charlie Brown, this is your life! > The footballs, baseballs, kite-eating trees, and cats next door Crow: Little yellow birds. Servo: Rival baseball teams that constantly wiped the floor with him. Mike: Red haired girls who would laugh at him and ignore him. > would all get back what they >had given him tenfold. Servo: Especially since the Federal Reserve raised interest rates. >Taking a deep breath, Charlie Brown opened up his desk drawer. A hatchet stared >at him blankly from the shadows within. Before Charlie could pull it out silently, Mike:(Charlie Brown ala Norman Bates) Yes, Mother. I'll take care of them. > a piercing muffled voice broke >his nerve. Servo: And Charlie Brown had to put the nerve back together again. >TEACHER: BLAUUGHBLAUUUGH BLAUUUGHHHH BALAGH >BLAUGHBLAAAAAH? Crow: Mike, why do the adults in Peanuts speak like that? Mike: Perhaps they have heartburn or indigestion. Servo: Must have been eating double onion chili dogs again. >"Yes ma'am", Charlie Brown replied, wondering why all the adults in his town spoke in a >language that sounded like kazoos playing. Had he gone insane? No, he thought... >.....everyone else was. Crow: Everyone had been on Prozac. >He had to work a problem on the board. He anxiously walked up to it and grabbed a >piece of chalk. Servo: Then he jammed the chalk through the teacher'eyes, yanked an Uzi out, and gunned down the students!! Mike: Servo, let the tension build first..... Servo: Sure, Mike. > Everyone was staring at him. They all wanted the solution to the problem. Charlie Brown >knew the only solution to his problem was to kill them all, one by one. Instead, he solved it >and went back to his seat. Crow: Let's see, Charlie Brown + Sharp Hatchet = Hours of Fun and Enjoyment for the Readers!! >Charlie Brown may have been a loser, but he was no fool. Mike:(singing) I'm no fool, nosiree! I'm gonna live to be 53. I play safe for you and me cause I'm no fool! (Crow and Servo look at Mike.) Mike: Sorry, guys, I was watching Jiminy Cricket shorts on the Disney Channel yesterday. > For many months he had been preparing for this day. He had starved and >beaten Snoopy, and turned him into a killer psycho >dog of death. Servo: Well, they say that every dog has his day. > For target practice he had fired at Woodstock. The day had come. At recess, they >would all get theirs. All: In the skull. >The bell rang. Children cheered as they raced out of the room. Stuffing his rusty >hatchet under his sweater, Brown ran outside to join them. Crow: Oh yeah, nothing can go wrong! Just a bald kid in a yellow sweater with some kind of blade hidden in it. >"Oh Charlieee Brown...", a familiar female voice called out. Mike: It was the little red-haired girl ready to insult Charlie some more. >"Will you kick this football?", asked Lucy Van Pelt sweetly. A dark smile formed on >Charlie's face. He had prepared well for this day. Servo: He spent hours training under Joe Namath, Joe Montana, and Mean Joe Green. Crow: Is there a law that football superstars must be named Joe? >"I dont know...", he stammered, deep down knowing full well. "You might try to pull it >out from under me..." Servo:(Charlie Brown) Since I'm currently sitting on it. >"Dont be a blockhead, Charlie Brown! Why would I do a thing like that?" , Lucy >responded quite politely. Mike:(sarcastically) Of course not, Lucy! You did it every other time, but I'm sure he's willing to give you another chance. >"Ok, I'll try...", said Charlie, maniacally laughing inside. Charging back, he ran towards >the ball, savoring the tension. Crow: Oh, yeah I love the taste of tension served with mashed potatoes and green beans. Mike: Yeah, with a brandy to wash it down. > At the last minute she pulled it away, but Charlie Brown knew better now. Servo: Better Now? Don't know her. Crow: Is she related to Betty Humpter? Mike: Crow..... >He chopped her head off, and threw her bloody skull onto the ground!!! Mike: He spikes the ball! Bills win!! Bills win!! >Then he punted it high into the air. It soared off for a couple hundred feet >as all the kids looked up, stunned in stark terror. Servo: Nothing like a little head, eh, Mike? Mike: That's enough, Tom and Crow. > His eyes blazing, Charlie Brown spared no time in mowing the shocked kids down. Crow: Especially with his new John Deere Tractor. >He tackled Linus to the ground and stuffed his blanket down his throat, Crow:(Linus) Security blanket my ass! I would've been better off with a ten gauge! >laughing as he choked to death on his own bile. Servo: The Green Bile. Own it today on video and DVD. > Schroeder was the next to go, Mike: On a vacation to beautiful Las Vegas!! > as Charlie Brown disembowled him; Servo: Since Schroeder violated his code of honor. >his intestines splattering all over the teeter-totter. Mike: By reading the sacred entrails of the piano player, I can foretell that this fic will have a crappy ending. > As Charlie began cannibalizing them, he saw Marcie who screamed and ran. Crow: Race for your life, Marcie! Mike: The long awaited sequel to "Race for your Life, Charlie Brown". > But the mad Brown was already on her, Servo: This was his first crime after splitting up with his ex-partner, the Mad Hatter. > butting her to death with his rock-hard head. Crow:(singing) Like a rock!! >Suddently Pig Pen and a whole bunch of other kids jumped him. Mike:(Pig Pen) Come on, we can take him! He's only a loser who lost thousands of ball games and blew a spelling bee. > "Shit!!" he cried out in suprise. Servo:(Brown) These kids didn't bathe! > It looked like the end for Charlie Brown, but then he remembered...and >pulled out a whistle. He blew it with all his might, but no sound could be heard from it. Crow: Is something wrong with the volume, Mike? Mike: Nope, I know what kind of whistle that is. >All the kids looked up in suprise. For high in the sky was Snoopy, dressed as >the Flying Ace Servo: From World War I. How could the author forget that detail? > and riding his dog house. Mike: It gets three and a half miles to the gallon. >But now he was differant. Crow:(singing) Cause being different is being great! > Now he was foaming at the mouth and sporting >two machine gun blasters! All hell broke loose as anti-aircraft fire punctured Peppermint >Patty's skull, impaling her brain with lead. Servo: Isn't that nice? > Pig Pen spat out blood as he fell stone dead to the earth, Crow:(Steve Austin) He's stone dead because Stone Cold says so!! >seven bullets in his neck. Soon the playground was tinged with red, as hundreds of slain kids >fell under the blaze. But then Snoopy ran out of ammo. Mike:(Snoopy) Oh, great. Why didn't I listen when the arms dealer said "Buy one more case of ammo." > As a last resort he jumped off of his house >and ripped Violet's throat out. Charlie Brown cheered! He had made those bitches pay! >He had given "good grief" a whole new meaning!! HAHAhAHAhAHAHAHHAHAHA!!! Servo: Did Charlie Brown take laughing lessons from Mandark? Mike: Maybe. >The last I heard of Charlie Brown is that he was sentenced to the nuthouse wing of a maximum >security prison for as many years as he has been published in newspapers. Crow: Wouldn't that get repetitive to read after so long? Mike: Our top story today, Charlie Brown held in nuthouse. Servo: Our top story today, Charlie Brown still held in nuthouse. >Snoopy, infected with rabies and insane, escaped and killed the Lockhorns and Dagwood >Bumstead before finally being decapitated messily by Hagar the Horrible. Crow: Formerly known as Tobor the Terrible. Servo: And long lost brother of Untirodar the Unbearable. >The locals still talk about the Charlie Brown "incident" to this day, twenty years later. Mike:(old man) Yep, I tell ya. That there Charlie Brown feller was very screwed up in the brain....... >But now I have heard strange rumors, frightening rumors. Crow: About a Microsoft takeover? Servo: Crow, we finished the short awhile ago. >A neighbor reported seeing a grown man with a massive seven foot wide bald head >pounding on a tree with his skull. Mike: That gives the proverb "bashing your head against a brick wall"..um...er... ....tree new meaning. > A young girl told of seeing Servo: That this murderer appeared in the funnies everyday. >a bald drooling guy dressed in yellow and black kid's clothes running around Mike: Getting punched out by angry girls in psychiatry booths. > and getting tangled up in a kite made out of the stretched hide of a dead cat. Crow: Could be a Wiccan sacrifice. > Whether he has escaped I do not know, Mike:(singing) Nobody knows the trouble I've seen..... >but with the recent mysterious and gruesome deaths of Heathcliff, Garfield, and >Catbert, I begin to wonder... Servo: Must be that new religion in town. >The End? Crow: Yes? No? Wait! I wanna change my answer!! Mike: Let's get out of here. (Mike and the bots exit the theater.) (End.) ----------------------------------------------------------------- Credits: "You're A Serial Killer Charlie Brown" Written by XomBy MSTed by The Last Orbot Special Thanks to Sonic Hunter All MSTies worldwide The Authors of the First Amendment This is only for fun and MST3K is owned by Best Brains, Inc. Keep circulating the fics. >"Yes ma'am", Charlie Brown replied, wondering why all the adults in his town spoke in a >language that sounded like kazoos playing. Had he gone insane? No, he thought... >.....everyone else was.